question about hugs

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iheartsquishys

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I'm glad someone brought this up. I grew up in Iowa where you don't even ask a stranger how they're doing. Its a little bit invasive. Now living in New Orleans, its like a different planet. My family is a very huggy affectionate family but not with people we barely know. Acquaintances I see once/year will give me a kiss when I see them down here. My autism doesn't help much. I'm very affectionate with my betrothed but I'm also very attached to my space bubble. My future in-laws are all about the hug and a kiss on the cheek. I never know what to do during this and I screw it up every time. I'm uncomfortable with it but I know I have to suck it up, I just can't get the hang of it. I have fine motor skills problem and having a moving target with a mind of its own doesn't help, neither does the fact that I'm a little distracted by the cement truck in my stomach and my skin being ripped away from my bones :eek:. Any tips on this? Do you hug with one arm during this? Is the hug and kiss simultaneous? Do you hold their upper arms or actually hug? I know the kiss is actually just cheeks together and making a kissing sound but that is as much as I've figured out. Its so much easier with the squishys. You just mush yourself into them and it is nice. I don't know what to do with these other people.
 

Wanderer

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In the south we aren't all huggy and kissy, unless you are a child or granny. We compensate by calling everyone hun or darlin.:p
I can vouch for this. In my family growing up, hugs were like good china: Only for special occasions.

And then I was born. :D I LOVE hugs! Heck, I love physical contact in every way I've tried it. (And while I'm still a virgin, yes, some of the contact was "down there".)
 

likeitmatters

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I'm not sure I get your question. You're saying no one hugs where you are now, but your straight male roommate hugs you every day which, personally, I find pretty weird. So either there's non-sexual hugging there or there isn't... Can you maybe explain further? Thanks.

I give my roommate a hug in the morning before he goes to work and when he comes home. and like I said, a hug is just a hug and nothing more.....
 

Zowie

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I immediately like anyone who offers a hug or wants to be hugged. I don't know, it's how I grew up. You see someone you know (well), you hug them.

And I don't know about this, but the french-canadians do a double kiss when they meet. I remember being at a wedding and meeting the brother of the bride, who was raised American, and he was totally weirded out by the kisses. But it's basically the same as a handshake to anyone who does know it.
 

Esther

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My family wasn't really into hugs unless there was some sort of occasion (good or bad). Probably as a result, I rarely hug anyone besides my elderly relatives. I don't mind accepting hugs, really, but it has to be within reason. My friends when I haven't seen them in a long time? Sure. Someone I've just met and had a really great time with? Absolutely. My boyfriend's elderly extended family? Of course. However... when someone I don't know that well, or someone I never really warmed up to forces one on me, I find it totally off-putting. I rarely ever see my boyfriend's cousin's boyfriend, for example (that's a bit convoluted but there's no other way to put it really) but every time he sees me he gives me a really awkward hug and a weird, weird kiss on the cheek. It actually makes me nervous when I see him because I know he's going to do it. I know he's just trying to be nice but I feel like saying, "I get that we're both dating people from this traditional Italian family... but YOU'RE not Italian, and I'M not Italian... so let's not, okay?"
 

Esther

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And I don't know about this, but the french-canadians do a double kiss when they meet. I remember being at a wedding and meeting the brother of the bride, who was raised American, and he was totally weirded out by the kisses. But it's basically the same as a handshake to anyone who does know it.
My boyfriend's family does that double kiss (in the air, on either side of your face) when they are really fired up at special occasions. I don't mind it from them because I know it's just what they do.
 

theronin23

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I come from a huggy family. Honestly, when I see a friend, I want to hug them. Hugging is not an awkward thing for me. I hug my mom (of course), brothers, and my dad.

For instance, yesterday, I hung out with a friend I hadn't seen in six months. We meet up, first thing, big hug. Met his g/f for this first time then, being as it was a first meeting, I just shook her hand.

When we parted ways after hanging out all day, gave him a hug, and his girl came in for a hug. That actually made me feel really good, it was like, acceptance and shit.

My only PROBLEM with hugs, is that I hold back on them, because I don't want to hurt people. And sometimes, when you hold back on a hug, it kind hurts a little physically. Like a pulled punch can do more damage to you than to the person you're punching.

Never done the whole kiss on the cheek thing, but I don't think it would be awkward for me.
 

Zowie

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My only PROBLEM with hugs, is that I hold back on them, because I don't want to hurt people. And sometimes, when you hold back on a hug, it kind hurts a little physically. Like a pulled punch can do more damage to you than to the person you're punching.
NEVER hold back a hug :eek: It's the worst feeling in the world, for both people. Tough luck if they get squashed, there should always be a good, decent hug.

I generally just hang off people's necks. :D
 

theronin23

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NEVER hold back a hug :eek: It's the worst feeling in the world, for both people. Tough luck if they get squashed, there should always be a good, decent hug.

I generally just hang off people's necks. :D
I'll keep that in mind, and put it into practice in the future.

I'm generally a full body hugger lol.
 

likeitmatters

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now that I have 5 baby kittens, every morning I give them a hug and a kiss while under the watchful eye of their mommy and let them know they are loved and wanted. ofcourse they want to go back feeding or sucking on mommies nipples or just roll around...lol
 

~da rev~

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I'm a pro hugger. I've also advanced the practice to reverse hugging, which is being back to back with another person and hugging yourself. It can involve as many people as you want. Not nearly as satisfying as a group hug.
 

LovesBigMen

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People as friends new me not to give hugs know I regret it, so know try to hug more people esspecially BHM :blush:
And family is different we always hugged we are a huggable family.
 

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