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Reintroducing Myself

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Basically New
Jul 30, 2010

I had a profile many years ago but I wasn't entirely comfortable with everything. I was also still a teenager at the time and sometimes I would disappear entirely. I don't even remember what the screenname was. Later in my teens, around 17 or 18, I created this profile. I was active for a while when the forum was very different. The reputation cans for upvotes were still in effect. Quite a while ago.

I've been in and out of the army and I'm much more in tune with my needs and how to deal with them. Fat admiration has always been a challenge for me. It isn't entirely about the opinions of others. I've always been an athlete. Like since I was 9 years old. I recently cancelled my gym membership because my migraines have gotten too severe and largely untreatable. They've also left me essentially useless in any kind of relationship as migraines have a profound effect on both libido and appeties. Sufferers know what I'm talking about.

So I returned to see how the culture has changed in my long absence. I also think of this as more of a hobby now. I can't really gain any weight because of the migraines and my body being so conditioned for lean mass. I'm also vegitarian, so there's that. Oh, and my diet is exclusively designed to avoid migraine triggers, like alcohol, processed sugar, carbs, and the like. I've also had surgeries where my doctor was worried I was too light to withstand them. These were both abdominal and involved my intestines. I was healthy but I barely had enough to withstand prolonged recovery. The last one was most major and I attempted to gain 10 pounds to prepare. In 4 months I managed to gain 3 pounds. I lost some weight, but not as much as I expected. That was 2 years ago and I'm still slightly under my normal weight. I'm still clinically healthy, but not enough for flexibility.

In that time I also learned that being overweight can have a huge influence in migraines and headache management. Being healthy is the single most effective way to keep it under control. In the end I decided getting fat just isn't realistic. I will always want to, but I doubt I ever will.

So instead of mutually gaining as I always dreamed I'm just a feeder exclusively. I just hope it works out this time.

Thanks for reading.

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