Thank you all for your responses and insides. I re-opened the issue because in one way or the other I think it pop ups for most of us here and there. It's not that I generally feel guilty for my preference. There are literally hundreds of millions of fat people out there - myself included - who lead perfectly normal, healthy lives and have these lives mainly impaired by social and especially medical sigmatization. Ashblonde highlighted this aspect and I couldn't agree more. Melian summed the being torn situation up very nicely - and I can fully relate to that. Because I indeed do not engage in actually harming activity to any BBW or BHM, only cook healthy meals when asked, etc. - and being someone who is horrible at sports but just as bad at sitting still, activity naturally happens. As dwes wrote - I also strongly believe in personal autonomy and self-responsibility. So every person must deal with their own body and own weight. Come to think about it - this probably is the original sin made in raising heavier (today this often means of a perfectly normal weight) children. Constant over controlling and setting up rules lets kids never have the chance to learn about what their bodies really want and need, take agency for them. As well as turning food into the coveted, forbidden fruit, that can only be enjoyed in secret - with the consequence of often extremely screwed up eating habits. And finally the issue of morality pressure on women plays a significant role. And Angel shared her experiences from the FA/BBW perspective. Because if I want to nail it down, what I almost exclusively feel guilty for - like in the described incident - is finding fat struggles sexy. Like the bouncing belly that refuses to be belted, the straining buttons, how fat can't be squeezed far enough to bend down or fit in. It's just the thrill of abundance winning. In contrast, one of the first rules you learn - as a female even more so than a guy - is not to take pleasure from other people's suffering or defeats. So in essence it's the dilemma of my preference not meeting the desired moral norm.