A small part of it is people not being ready for a bigger population. Not knowing what their furniture or gear is rated to, not being informed on what a horse can safely carry, not having staff trained in the safety of larger people, not bothering to test equipment/furniture for more than 250 pounds, and so on.
'll be honest, I don't LIKE agreeing with loopy on this issue, but I believe she is correct in her conclusion. Riding a horse, getting a pedicure or a massage, or riding the tilt-o-whirl aren't things I'm entitled to.
Curiosity sent me to encyclopedia Google and according to a few searches, I found this:
"Deb Bennett, PhD, founder of the Equine Studies Institute and an expert in the biomechanics of horses, has advised that the “Total weight of rider plus tack must not exceed 250 lbs. There is no horse alive, of any breed, any build, anywhere, that can go more than a few minutes with more weight on its back than this. "
In my original post, I likened being turned away from a riding facility to being denied access to other places, such as nail salons and amusement parks. That was a bad comparison on my part, for sure. A living being's needs must always be considered. Mea culpa. I was going on information given to me nearly forty years ago (I was 17) by a boy who was interested in my friend and most likely would've said anything to make either of us happy. Learning that 250 max weight with the tack, my 225 body plus the tack most likely put that poor creature through hell because I'm sure together we were well over the 250 limit.
It makes me wonder about horses used in the rodeo, movie, and television industries. Surely male stars, especially the taller, more muscled ones, weigh close to or over that 250 mark. When I was younger, I was infatuated with Dan Blocker, the actor who played Hoss Cartwright on Bonanza. At 6'4" and 300 pounds, he was regularly filmed on horseback and even owned horses himself. I love horses, an affinity I discovered watching Blocker on my tv screen and later during those high school days traipsing out to the ranch every Saturday to ride, but it pains me to think that I contributed to possible abuse.
That being said, places like chiropractor's offices, salons, amusement parks, et.al. should at least TRY to be as accessible to everyone as possible. There's a lot of argument over whether being fat constitutes a handicap, and as such is covered under the ADA regarding accessibility. "Reasonable accommodation" would apply if it does, but there's still argument over what constitutes reasonable, and what smaller size merchants are expected to spend on their equipment. Let's face it, a pedicure chair rated for up to 200 pounds will be vastly less expensive than one rated to 500 pounds, and of course small businesses have to watch their spending especially at start up when this type of equipment is purchased, or they lose their bottom line. I'll be honest, I don't LIKE agreeing with loopy on this issue, but I believe she is correct in her conclusion. Riding a horse, getting a pedicure or a massage, or riding the tilt-o-whirl aren't things I'm entitled to. The idealist inside me wants to do those things (or I did before sickness took my ability to walk away,) but the realist knows it's not fair to expect them and the world just isn't one size fits all.
As far as the fat shaming aspect, well I'm not going to beat that dead horse today. I'll leave that to someone with more spoons. Fatphobia and Fatmisia have left me in critical need of more spoons.
In this debate I think it's important to not compare the proverbial apples & oranges.
Because leisure activities, entertainment and sports is one thing.
Daily necessities, access to services in the field of personal or medical care or basic life needs is something totally different and mest be judged on a different scale imo.
Take pedicure as an example (similar applies to massages) - if it's actual pedicure (not toe nail painting!), this is an important personal care, borderline medical service that can be especially important for people of size. Making sure that people of all sizes who need them recieve access is a public health issue - so finding a way of organizing that enough size friendly equipment is available is a task that needs legislative and administrative attention.
(Also by the way for cost reasons - providing timely medical pedicure in the according facilities or on house call basis for instance is a lot cheaper than diabetic foot treatment....)
So yes Donna - you are entitled to pedicures and massages, society needs to find more and better ways to organize that.
P.S.: Side note on the horse issue - where we can simply see that animal rights have probably progressed further - especially in terms of public awareness - than fat rights over the past decades. Dan Blocker passed away almost exactly half a century ago.....
So heartbreaking. He looked handsome and I bet he would've made a great football player. </3The 14-year-old boy who fell to his death from an Orlando amusement park ride asked a friend next to him to tell his parents he loved them in case “I don’t make it down,” according to his fat…nypost.com
I wouldn't feel bad about these things, Donna. We learn more about animals and what is healthy for them as time progresses. Even looking at my pet dogs, there are decisions I made about their health 15 years ago that I would make drastically different with the new information that has come to light since. If the horse showed no signs of disapproval when you were riding/mounting it, then I doubt it was in any acute strain or anything at the time, if that helps.
I read agouderia's post before replying and I'm not surprised to hear that your horse-riding celebrity crush was making movies some years ago, when we knew less about horses. I know that some heavier actors still ride horses for movies and stuff and yeah, I dunno about how fair that is on the horses. Though as I understand it, horse actors are ridden less in general than everyday riding horses, and they use multiple horses to represent one 'in movie' horse, so maybe that has something to do with it? I wouldn't call it abuse anyway, it's just a case of people learning more as time goes on.
I 100% agree that places, especially those associated with personal health/wellbeing, should be as accessible to everyone as possible. I always take note in doctors waiting rooms and look if there are wider/no armrest chairs and things like that, for instance. People of every size have a right to exist comfortably in this world, like agouderia says. You can make bigger chairs, wider doorways and stronger equipment. It's only really any different when it comes to horses because that's an animal, and you can't just buy a stronger one.
I know I said very similar things above, but thiiiiis! Fat people deserve to be allowed to look after themselves just like smaller people do. I'm actually pretty passionate about this topic, too! Humans are great at building and inventing things, and I know we can make cost-effective furniture and equipment etc that is suitable for fat people if we try. Society just doesn't want to try because a) fatphobia and b) initial costs. The latter of which is understandably a concern for businesses but hey, some things are more important than a business bank account. ...I'll get off my soapbox now, hah.
According to what I saw firsthand on TikTok, the events happened as follows:
1. Remi attended an event and was advised she could not ride, despite previous experiences with riding.
2. She then posted a video to her TikTok of the ranch with the statement, "Shoutout to Deep Hollow Ranch in Montauk for making me leave because I weigh over 240.” The caption to the video suggested that weight limits for riders should be communicated on the ranch’s signage.
3. The owner’s teenage son then posted his own video, mocking her. I saw the video before it was deleted (I’m a bit of a TikTok addict) and he was clearly mocking her. He said, and I quote, “When you're not a fat bitch you can ride at Deep Hollow Ranch."
4. Remi then posted another video, quoting the teenager’s, complaining about the teen’s statement.
5. The ranch’s owners then issued a statement apologizing for the teen’s video and stating they “do not condone or agree with any part of that employee's video."
It appears to me, and someone please fill me in if I have missed something, that although Remi was snarky (that’s her m.o. I don’t particularly care for her style and it’s not how I would’ve handled things) in her response to being denied access to ride, the true complaint and what has people up in arms now, was because of this employee’s (the employee in question being the owner’s own son) subsequent fat shaming. I’m sorry, I’ve been denied service before, in front of friends, business colleagues, and even strangers, but luckily for me, I’ve never been called a “fat bitch” in the process. Being singled out is embarrassing enough, but to name call like that is adding insult to injury
I don’t care how confident one is, how they carry themselves in the public eye, or even if they say fat shaming doesn’t bother them, insults hurt. In Remi’s same situation, I would not take kindly to being called names the way she was. And there’s really no excuse to hurl them. There’s no justification for rude behavior.
We can debate until the cows come home about acceptable horseback riding weight limits, although I’m of the mind to defer to the PhD in horse biomechanics, or whether someone has a right to access certain businesses, but in the end we’re only obfuscating the issue here, which is the fat shaming. I didn’t want to unpack this, because it’s just so bloody exhausting, but here I am. Fat people, especially fat women, constantly have to prove their worth to society. We’re not allowed to have bad days, to go out looking anything less than cover model ready, we’re told we have to carry ourselves with confidence in the face of constant judgment and ridicule. We have to be sweet and pleasant all the time, and if we display anything less than the ideal “good fatty”, we’re not worthy of basic decency and respect. Even in the eyes of those who call themselves our admirers and/or allies.
If I continue with my opinion, I’m liable to alienate more than half the posters here and possibly get banned. I’m too old and I don’t have enough spoons to try and tilt at this particular windmill today. ‘Donna’ Quixote I am not. Carry on…
Simple question: was she 'in the right' for going on a snarky (as you yourself describe) rant against a business that was only enforcing a rule that they have every right to enforce? I feel this is much more than a fat issue. This seems to me to be an 'entitlement' issue that the younger people these days are plagued with. That is what happens when everyone gets a trophy for participation.
As far as this part of your post:
"We have to be sweet and pleasant all the time, and if we display anything less than the ideal “good fatty”, we’re not worthy of basic decency and respect. Even in the eyes of those who call themselves our admirers and/or allies."
This seems like simply a misandry-laced cheap shot.
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