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Songs You Wish Had Never Been Written

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Wayne_Zitkus

Proud FA Since 1962
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
3,202
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Deepindahearta, Texas
What song do you absolutely HATE???

I know one of Sandie's nominees would be this one by Brad Paisley - "Checking for Ticks"....

Checking For Ticks

Every time you take a sip
In this smoky atmosphere
You press that bottle to your lips
And I wish I was your beer
In the small there of your back
Your jeans are playing peekaboo
I'd like to see the other half of your butterfly tattoo.

Hey that gives me an idea
Let's get out of this bar
Drive out into the country
And find a place to park.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

I know the perfect little path
Out in these woods I used to hunt
Don't worry babe I've got your back
And I've also got your front
Now, I'd hate to waste a night like this

I'll keep you safe you wait and see
The only thing allowed to crawl all over you when we get there is me.

You know every guy in here tonight
Would like to take you home
But I've got way more class than them
Babe that ain't what I want.

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

You never know where one might be
There's lots of places that are hard to reach
I gotcha.

I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you baby way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks.

I'd sure like to check you for ticks...

http://www.metrolyrics.com/ticks-lyrics-brad-paisley.html
 

Esme

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What song do you absolutely HATE???

I know one of Sandie's nominees would be this one by Brad Paisley - "Checking for Ticks"....
That is the most assinine song I've ever heard. It almost made me drive off the road in shock at its stupidity. How, how, HOW does a song like that get recorded? Isn't it someone's job to say, "hey, you know what? That's a really lame song... maybe you shouldn't record that."
 

Carrie

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Good grief. It's supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, you yahoos. :p
 

Green Eyed Fairy

Funky Faerie Queene
Joined
Sep 18, 2006
Messages
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In Your Head
Billy Ray Cyrus

Achy Breaky Heart


You can tell the world you never was my girl
You can burn my clothes when I'm gone
Or you can tell your friends just what a fool I've been
And laugh and joke about me on the phone

You can tell my arms to go back onto the phone
You can tell my feet to hit the floor
Or you can tell my lilps to tell my fingertips
They won't be reaching out for you no more

But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooo

You can tell your ma I moved to Arkansas
Or you can tell your dog to bite my leg
Or tell your brother Cliff who's fist can tell my lips
He never really liked me anyway

Oh tell your Aunt Louise, tell anything you please
Myself already knows that I'm okay
Oh you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind
It might be walking out on me today

But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooo

But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooo

Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooo

Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
Ooo




I hate this man...... and his shitty mullet :p
 

CrankySpice

Unwashed.
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I know that many will probably disagree with me, but any song sung by Elton John. I dunno why, I just really really dislike his songs.
 

Santaclear

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What song do you absolutely HATE???

I know one of Sandie's nominees would be this one by Brad Paisley - "Checking for Ticks"....
I never heard it, but it sounds like it'd be a great song. I'd like to hear a whole tick opera.
 

Renaissance Woman

Please do.
Joined
Aug 3, 2006
Messages
1,201
Location
,
Black Eyed Peas
"My Humps"

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and NaDonna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
Brother I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you,

She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what).
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin' got you,

She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.

(A-ha, a-ha, a-ha, a-ha) [x4]

She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

[Will.i.am]
So real [x17]
 

Zoom

Rogue
Joined
Sep 30, 2005
Messages
1,692
Location
,
"The Peking King and the New York Queen"
by the Doors

Well I heard a story, you can judge it's worth
About the sun and the moon the time they came down to earth
They pass in the heavens each day up above
Time after time they soon became old
They could not touch, they could not kiss
They had no flesh, no earthly bliss
So they made a scheme, they made a plan
They would come down to earth as a woman and a man
And took human forms to live out a dream
The most beautiful people that I've ever seen
They were the Peking king and the New York queen
I said the Peking king and the New York queen

As fate would have it it was a toss of a dice
They went to opposite ends of this world with our lives
Opposite eyes, opposite minds
Such things matter in these troubled times

We read a book from right to reft
You read a book from the left to the right!
We see a rabbit in the moon
When you look at the moon, It's a man on the moon
Raw fish is very tasty, thank you
Eating raw fish is disgusting
Buddah is the only way
Jesus is the fun way
Communism!
Democracy!
East is red
Better dead than red!

Peking in the east, New York in the west
Each say that they are the best
About the sun and the moon and their earthly quest
Knew without a doubt that it was all the best
They said what does it matter how you read a book
It's all the same no matter how it looks

Well the only thing important to the Peking king
Was feeding in the arms of his New York queen
Thousands of miles, they were so far apart
How to get together, where to start
On the California zipper and the Shanghai express
He headed to Hong Kong, she headed out west

No passports, no visas, no government quotas
No red tape no red guard could stop the dream of the Peking king and the New York Queen
I said the Peking king and the New York queen
So the found a little lot in the field of dreams
It was a perfect little place to live our dream
East is east, west is west
'Cause you're invited to the wedding to share a dream
Of the Peking king and the New York queen
Peking king and the New York queen

You're invited to the wedding and to share in a dream
You're invited to the wedding and to share in a dream
Of the Peking king and his New York queen
You're invited to the wedding and to share in a dream
You're invited to the wedding and to share in a dream
Of the sun and the moon
Peking king and New York queen
 

Green Eyed Fairy

Funky Faerie Queene
Joined
Sep 18, 2006
Messages
18,513
Location
In Your Head
I think Barb is definitely on the right track here....

Fergalicious

[Will I Am]
Listen up ya'll, Cuz this is it
The beat that I'm bangin' is de-li-cious

[Fergie]
Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
You could see you, you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons

[Hook]
Fergalicious (Fergalicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

[Chorus]
So delicious (It's hot, hot)
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Fergalicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)

[Verse 2]
Fergalicious def-, Fergalicious def-, Fergalicious def- [def fading echo]
Fergalicious definition make them boys go crazy
They always claim they know me
Comin' to me call me Stacy (Hey Stacy)
I'm the F to the E, R, G the I the E
And can't no other lady put it down like me

[Hook]
I'm Fergalicious (so delicious)
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' boy on rock rock
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

[Chorus]
So delicious (It's hot, hot)
So delicious (I put them boys on rock, rock)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Fergalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)

[Vamp]
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
[ Fergalicious lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
I'll be tasty, tasty, I'll be laced with lacey
It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy

[Will I Am]
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Fergie

[Fergie]
***

All the time I turn around always brotha's gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my
(uuhh)
I just wanna say it now I ain't tryin to round up drama little mama I don't wanna take your man
And I know I'm comin off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how the boys wanna eat it
But I'm tryin' to tell, that I can't be treated like clientele
Cuz' they say she

[Hook]
Delicious (So delicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)
Four, tres, two, uno
My body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' boy on rock rock
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

[Chorus]
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty

It's so delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)
I'm Fergalicious, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t (aye, aye, aye, aye)

[Will I Am]
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the S T E Y girl you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)

T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y girl you tasty, T to the A, to the, four, tres, two, uno
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, to the, to the.....
 

marlowegarp

I wanna meet that dad
Joined
Dec 26, 2006
Messages
996
Location
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I love the Fish Heads song. too. Here's my nomination:

In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero.
I am strong an' wise,
And I know no fear.
But the truth is plain to see:
She was sent to rescue me,
I see who I wanna be, in my daughter's eyes.

In my daughter's eyes, everyone is equal,
Darkness turns to light,
And the world is at peace.
This miracle God gave to me,
Gives me strength when I am weak.
I find reason to believe, in my daughter's eyes.

An' when she wraps her hand around my finger,
Oh, it puts a smile in my heart.
Everything becomes a little clearer.
I realise what life is all about.
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough;
It's givin' more when you feel like givin' up.
I've seen the light: it's in my daughter's eyes.

In my daughter's eyes, I can see the future.
A reflection of who I am,
An' what will be.
An' though she'll grow an', some day, leave:
Maybe raise a family,
When I'm gone, I hope you'll see,
How happy she made me,
For I'll be there, in my daughter's eyes.


It makes me want to cut out her daughter's eyes with an ice cream scoop and leave them on her pillow, so she finds them in the morning, at which point that "sirrah sirrah" song will play ominously from a hidden music box.
 

Dr. Feelgood

intellectual nerd
Joined
Dec 20, 2006
Messages
4,680
Location
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Unchained Melody. It is so...friggin'...draggy that only a zombie could dance to it, but every dance band in creation has to play it for the guys who want to rock back and forth in place while they grope their girlfriends.
Not to forget the undying lyrics: Oh, my loooove, my darling, I've hungered fro your touch a looooong, lonely time. Time goes by so slooooowly (just like this song), but time can do so much. Are yooooou still miiiiine? I neeed your love, I neeeed your love, godspeeeed your looooove toooooo meeee.

Blech.
 

Mini

Right, not nice
Joined
Nov 20, 2005
Messages
2,855
Location
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How You Remind Me by Nickleback. The song that single-handedly ruined an entire band, genre and radio for me.

Band - Loved "The State." Really good album. Silver Side Up was more of the same. Catchy, but fun. Until I heard the song approximately 650 times over the course of a single summer. Haven't bought anything from 'em since.

Genre - "Radio" rock. I'm no snob: If it's catchy, I'll listen to it. Now I don't even turn the fuckin' thing on for fear that I'll be exposed to another godawful Nickleback single.

Radio - I punched the fucking radio. My hand survived. The radio did not.
 

DeniseW

Fat don't crack!!
Joined
Aug 7, 2006
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Arms Wide Open by Creed, that song goes right through me, the guy singing it sounds like he's on the toilet straining to go.....I turn it off immediately if it comes on.
 
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