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squeezablysoft

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
899
Location
UNF Jacksonville, FL
Friday 07/02/2021:Today is my older biological half-brother's birthday. We haven't seen each other in person since I was 1 and he was 3 and we don't have much of a relationship but we do follow each other on Insta so I left him a quick happy birthday. He turns 39 today, I guess we're all getting old now.
#dailyselfie
#happybirthdaybrother
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squeezablysoft

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
899
Location
UNF Jacksonville, FL
Saturday 07/03/2021: My mom has been very sick for a long time but she really took a bad turn late last night and ended up in the hospital. I didn't get a pic today since it's been crazy busy getting updates from the hospital and trying to find care for myself as well.
#dailyselfie
#nottoday
 

NZ Mountain Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
174
Location
Manawatu, New Zealand
Unless you’re 7 ft tall, no ones body wants to weigh 315 lbs. it just doesn’t and no amount of pseudoscience is going to make that statement true. There’s so many different variables but off the top of my head, I bet if your diet was structured in a way that you covered your macronutrient needs in a more nutritious way, you’d likely have a hard time eating enough to get to that 3,000 kcal mark. You could, but it would take way more food than you think. If you’re eating calorically dense food with little nutritional value then no, it’s not hard to bang 3,000 kcals in a day but when it’s things like grilled chicken, lean steak, broccoli, rice, sweet potatoes sans butter and brown sugar it’s much harder.

But don’t get me wrong, by all means if you want to weigh that then go for it. I myself walk around at 320 and I’m pretty content. And it takes me at my activity level around 4,000-4,300 kcals a day to maintain this body weight.

There is some merit to the set point theory and not all people operate optimally at a low body fat. But to think a body that is say for instance 5’7 or so “wants” to be 315 lbs. as an optimal body weight is highly spurious.
Empty Calories is the easy way of consumming a lot but if you go fat free diet the body will fatten up on a lot less calories.
 

NZ Mountain Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
174
Location
Manawatu, New Zealand
Great resolution. I hope others see and follow your example.
This is a community and we should be more active and interested in what others are doing.
I'm going to try to follow your rule - 3 posts daily - and other resolutions are:
1. Stay the course, continue letting myself gain. I like being big and would like to get to 400 or more.
2. Try to be friendlier to others. Even when people are mean, they probably just don't understand.
3. Encourage others to be happy and, when possible, indulge - I think bigger, softer people are happier! lol
4. Try my best to be a better person. That's an all encompassing requirement.
This can be dangerous due to being hollow. Children Tag building etc because they feel invisible. They are invisible because they are not in lives of the physical world. Look for physical contact as well as this hyperspace connection.
 

NZ Mountain Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
174
Location
Manawatu, New Zealand
Yup, any advice for my first time? 😊
Anti Depressants are not a long term or healthy solution. Your physical world affects your emotional world. Depression is bottoming out due to a lack of sentient needs being fulfilled. To shake up your emotional state you need to shake your physical world. Activities.

You are wheel chair bound, which is limiting but so is being scared of heights. Get out of your comfort zone. The comfort zone is putting your physical world in a rut. This can only put your emotional world in a rut. This is denying you the sentient need to succeed/have successes at things.
 

NZ Mountain Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
174
Location
Manawatu, New Zealand
So I've been taking the Cymbalta for about 3 months now. I had 1 really good day but other than that it doesn't seem to be helping even though they upped my dose 3 times.

It's hard to tell though what is just a normal reaction to all the stuff going on in the world and in my life right now vs what's actually mental illness symptoms. It doesn't help either that my mom doesn't understand depression or even believe it's a real thing. So instead of trying to help and comfort me she just makes me feel worse about everything especially myself.

I'm calling my doctor on Monday to get my medication changed. But I'm not feeling really hopeful about it and honestly think I'm going to end up having to go to a mental hospital, which will totally freak mom out.

Anyway if it's ok to do here I'm putting a link to the GoFundMe page I set up for mine and my mom's medical needs. I tried to put it in my signature but I can't figure out how to make it show up.

Depression is mental illness. A mental illness is a state of mind that prevents you from living your life. The way out of it is to start living your life. You will not be able to do that alone; it requires someone to drag you into activities and at the end of the activity take notice of how it disrupted you depression. The more you disrupt it the less it becomes your life/existence.
 

NZ Mountain Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
174
Location
Manawatu, New Zealand
Day 4 of #dailyselfie because if you've never taken a mask selfie, have you even lived during the #2020plague?
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Day 4 of #dailyselfie because if you've never taken a mask selfie, have you even lived during the #2020plague?
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No I have not been through the plague. As a Kiwi (New Zealander) we were ignorant of the plague and did let it in. It got into a nursing home and the first death was mistaken for common cold. Then it was upgrades to pneumonia and after the quick death was diagnosed as the plague.


New Zealand went into a HARD Lockdown. It lasted 5 weeks as a target of 21 days of no community spreading had to be established. Then we went down levels until it was decided it was safe, about another 8 weeks. As a result of the initial exposure this country suffered 25 deaths and 2,500 infected.


We have had scares at the boarder but it has been kept out, this as made us complacent, which means vulnerable.


Fiji was also plague free and I suspect it was people smuggling that got them contaminated. It is wiping them out like previous plagues like Scarlet Fever and Small Pox.


We should all be vaccinated by 2022.
 

NZ Mountain Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
174
Location
Manawatu, New Zealand
Day 18: So today my mom commented on how my mouth always turns down and she was like "Don't do that, you're a pretty girl and it ruins your face when you do that". I suppose it never occurred to her that her fat-shaming me like she was doing again last night might not exactly make me more smiley. But anyway, I tried to smile a little in this picture. I'm still too embarrassed about my awful teeth to take a full smile pic but I'm doing this #dailyselfie project to try to honestly depict what life with depression is like so I guess that's just another part of it.
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Her expression of you doing a wrong thing is wrongfully applied. The problem often is that they do not know how to get you out of the mess your life has become.


Being fat is a choice and often done in a self-destructive act. Sometimes it is done from desire to try it out. A lot of the time it occurs through body malfunction.


I have a 53-inch (134 centimetres) waist and in kilos I am a lot. I read articles written by weight gainers stating how much they eat to be there weight of 120 kilograms. I compared it to my food list and I was one tenth of their list and considerably heavier. I made a big mistake and cut fat out of my diet and ballooned to my size.


My weight gain was caused by a fungus, which has taken hold. I am killing infections trying to find the cure of the fungus. I smashed it with a frequency of orange light and a laser. I lost 6 kilos in 2 weeks. I pig out eating forbidden foods.
 

NZ Mountain Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
174
Location
Manawatu, New Zealand
Depression is a bad disease. I've been living with it, at it's worst, the past 10/15 yrs. You just have to keep on your meds, and tell yourself every morning, that "I'm gonna do better today".
There are so many simple steps to climb out of the depression pit and none of them come from a pill bottle. The sad news is tat you cannot do it own your own.

Get out of your emotional rut by addressing issues that are sucking out your sense of self-worth, self-esteem, hope and living in a ‘comfort place’ which means you are not expanding as a person.
 

JBfromNH

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
51
Location
,
Saturday 07/03/2021: My mom has been very sick for a long time but she really took a bad turn late last night and ended up in the hospital. I didn't get a pic today since it's been crazy busy getting updates from the hospital and trying to find care for myself as well.
#dailyselfie
#nottoday
hugs
 

Sonic Purity

Grateful for calm, rational discussion and science
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Messages
353
Location
Pasadena, California, U.S.A.
There are so many simple steps to climb out of the depression pit and none of them come from a pill bottle. The sad news is tat you cannot do it own your own.

Get out of your emotional rut by addressing issues that are sucking out your sense of self-worth, self-esteem, hope and living in a ‘comfort place’ which means you are not expanding as a person.
Yeah no, i don’t think so with the “simple steps”. I’ve been dealing with depression for many decades, through all kinds of major life changes and trying many things. Pharma pills work for some people, but they didn’t for me. Various flavors of psychotherapy (mostly decades ago) helped, initially a lot, but not enough to clear things. Intestinal microbiome improvements have helped, but again aren’t enough on their own. Still working things out.

And how about this?: if the thing sucking out my sense of self-worth is society having rejected me for having any value as a human being, and it’s greater society doing that, how am i supposed to address that?
 

NZ Mountain Man

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2021
Messages
174
Location
Manawatu, New Zealand
Everyone at some stage enters depression. I have always had great support around me so I have never done Prolonged Depression. The physical toll can be devastating. The whole cosmos does not care about me so why should I care about me is a path to complex complications. It is because you have added layers. Each layer has to be dealt with and dealt with correctly.
You probably could not recall parts of the issues. There is one thing common with all depression.
IT IS BASED on a LIE.
You cannot do it. You are useless. You are unacceptable etcetera.
File an the negativity is the trash where they belong instead of using them as affirmations.
You need to get your body healthy, that not a comment about weight but about the circulation systems.
You need to break RUT routines. Any activity including bouncing a ball up and down.
You need something to look forward to.
With decades of bad practices it will take a lot to side step your current location. Just remember it can be done.
You cannot do it on your own as you need someone on the outside of your rut to guide you out.
Simple cleansing of biological systems require someone to identify problems. Intestinal microbiome cleaning requires someone to guide as stagnant people suffer all sorts of issues.
You can come better. Trust yourself. You are not here to just suffer.
 

squeezablysoft

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
899
Location
UNF Jacksonville, FL
Wednesday 09/15/2021:
Just to catch y'all up, my mom and I went in the hospital on 09/02, me for UTI her for pneumonia and we just got transferred to a rehab place to get stronger on 09/13. I've been sick the past couple days and thought it was just a cold but I tested positive for covid today.
#dailyselfie
#covid
#coronavirus
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