Struggles into transition of becoming a female

Discussion in 'GLBTQ' started by Iannathedriveress, Jul 30, 2014.

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  1. Jul 30, 2014 #1

    Iannathedriveress

    Iannathedriveress

    Iannathedriveress

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    For a long time I have struggle figure out who I am as a person. I always though I was just an average male, but always felt that something is missing. Then I woke one day and begin to think that maybe I'm not a male but a female that is trapped in a male's body. Then I begin to connect my past along with why I like playing female characters in video games and realize that I am born in the wrong gender. After this discovery I begin to do loads of research on the transgender community. However, when I told my father that I want to transition to female, he was shocked, scared, and worried. I was nervous because I though he would hate me because of fear and hatred, but yet he accepts me because I'm his child. All that my father wants me to be is to be happy and be myself. I haven't told my mother just yet but I am really nervous. To me becoming a female will make me happy because I know who I am as person on the inside, its the outside that doesn't match.
     
  2. Jul 30, 2014 #2

    Yakatori

    Yakatori

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    Hard to say, really...

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    People react...with fear, anger, anxiety, etc...because they're projecting their own self-judgements onto a situation that's, basically, totally outside themselves, that they have no control over.

    Your dad is responding as he is, despite whatever your preconceptions of how else he might feel about it; because, somehow, he realizes....that's all he can do: either accept it or not. And that, either way, nothing he does or chooses not-to will alter the fundamental reality of it. Generally, that's how real adults deal with things.

    Your mom will be fine with it as well. Provided and once she arrives at a a similar type of understanding, that this has nothing to do with how they raised you. That it's just how it it is.

    But, the time & effort it takes for just anyone to recognize this is sometimes the result of a two part equation, only one part over which you really have any control, in terms of what you bring to to the table. Which is, necessarily, factored against their own personal insecurities and self-doubts. That is, if you approach them from a place quiet-calm, self-assuredness, of not really asking any else of them but for their own personal-acceptance; then it will tend to make it a bit easier. If not necessarily easy per-se....

    I guess I'm trying to say....in these types of conversations...a lot of what (I think) is the most unnecessary difficulty comes about from getting mired in the details, that are as-yet a ways off. When it's really the broad-strokes that matter most:

    You've realized something about yourself. Which is not always so simple to articulate. There will be some challenges ahead. But it doesn't really change what's immutable; they are your parents and you are their child. And that you do your best to support each other...
     
  3. Jul 30, 2014 #3

    Tad

    Tad

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    I don't really have any advice, just sending best wishes for things to work out as well as possible, and to affirm that this is a great place to unload some of your feelings, when you need to.

    OK, I lied, one piece of advice. Arrange to see a counselor in this sort of area before you really start doing much, at least a little bit (I realize that access and cost could both be issues). While everybody is unique, certain journeys tend to have a lot of steps in common, and talking with someone who has studied the route and its pluses and pitfalls has to make things easier.

    Again, good luck and best wishes!
     
  4. Jul 30, 2014 #4

    lille

    lille

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    Good luck with your transition. I highly recommend seeing a counselor who is experienced with helping people through their transition and seeing if there are any support groups near you.
     
  5. Aug 10, 2015 #5

    Iannathedriveress

    Iannathedriveress

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    Things have been going good in my transiton. Of course there have been ups and downs but today I started spiro as the small step towards to being a woman.
     
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  6. Aug 12, 2015 #6

    Allie Cat

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    I'm glad to hear you're taking your first steps. If you need any advice there's other trans girls here too. :)
     
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  7. Aug 28, 2015 #7

    FlabbiMissAbbi

    FlabbiMissAbbi

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    Your story sounds a LOT like mine, honestly. :) I was terrified to tell my mom, but she was supportive, while still a bit surprised. (My dad has passed, so he isn't here to tell.)

    You are much farther ahead then I am, but just remember that this is who you ARE. People will be dumb, and say and react stupidly too, but just be confident, and lean on those who love and support you. :)

    And last of all... You go girl! :)


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  8. Nov 10, 2015 #8

    Iannathedriveress

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    I got the rest of the female hormones today. :D
     
  9. Nov 10, 2015 #9

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

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    Yay! Congrats! :happy:
     
  10. Nov 10, 2015 #10

    Tad

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    Woot-- grats :)
     
  11. Nov 10, 2015 #11

    Allie Cat

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    Kickass. :) Welcome to a happier place.
     
  12. Nov 12, 2015 #12

    Tracii

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    I wish you all the best I really do.
    Just sorting out things can be very hard but you seem to have made an informed decision as to what is right for you.
    Its a very expensive ordeal if you go all the way and it has its ups and downs but if you want it bad enough its worth it.
     
  13. Jul 6, 2016 #13

    Iannathedriveress

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    Today marks my 2 year anniversary since the birth of Ianna, the day I started my transition from male to female.

    image.jpeg
     
  14. Jul 6, 2016 #14

    fatmac

    fatmac

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    A cutey indeed. Stay strong you have come so far.
     
  15. Jul 7, 2017 #15

    Iannathedriveress

    Iannathedriveress

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    Today marks 3 years since I started my entire transition from male to female. From just shaving my arms and legs to hormones to getting my name legally changed, I have come far but I feel like I'm getting started.

    IMG_9578.JPG
     
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  16. Jul 7, 2017 #16

    AmyJo1976

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    Congrats! You look great:)
     
  17. Jul 7, 2017 #17

    Tad

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    Happy anniversary :)
     
  18. Jul 8, 2017 #18

    KandyKravenkox

    KandyKravenkox

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    DimensionsModel

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    Congratulation Hun!! I'm very happy for you!
     
  19. Jul 9, 2017 #19

    DragonFly

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    Happy New you Day! Love the pic, such a cutie. Big hugs, sometimes the world can be a tough place. Glad you shared with us.
     
  20. Jul 12, 2017 #20

    BigElectricKat

    BigElectricKat

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    Are you intelligent? Staff Member Global Moderator

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    I think that there is nothing better than knowing who you really are. Congrats!
     

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