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Telling my fiancé that I am a FA

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patmcf88

New Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Canada
Hello Dims,

Long time no talk (formerly "patmcf"). Hope everyone is doing well enough amidst Covid-19! Tough times.

Please forgive me, as I bet this post has been made a 1000 times, but I could really use a sympathetic perspective.

My fiancé and I have been together for almost two years. I would classify her as a BBW who is positively beautiful inside and out. She really is the whole package: smart, funny, and caring. I am lucky to have her.

While she knows I love her body in its current state, I have never told her the extent of it. I have been been an FA my entire life, having dated enough to realize that my sexual attraction is to a certain size of woman. Honestly, I have read everything academic on the subject, scoured the internet, listened to every podcast I could find, and even starting talking to a sex therapist. My research and life experience has taught me that this is not a preference, but a sexual identity that is hard wired in my brain.

All of this to say, I think I have screwed up by not having an explicit talk with my wife about what I am "into."

Ethically speaking, while she seems quite comfortable at her size, I do not know that for sure. Maybe she secretly hates her size and is about to marry a man who admires fat?

Love is about accepting the person for who they are; consequently, I understand that my love for her cannot and will not be dependent on her size. Still, I feel that this sexual part of myself is hidden from her and she deserves to know about it.

Thoughts? Suggestions for talking to her about it?


Please be gentle 🙃

Thank you
 

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