The Divorce/LTR Breakup Thread

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Mel KM

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Joined
Jun 19, 2020
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70
Location
Dallas, Tx
One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that break-ups happen for a reason. Sometimes the reason(s) are obvious: he/she cheated, lied repeatedly, stole, drugs, etc. Sometimes the reasons are less discernable. Either way, there are lessons to be learned from every relationship; long-term or short.

Some people will give the advice of “Just get back out there”. I would advise to get yourself time to look at what went wrong (or right) and to decide how and when you “jump back in the pool’ as it were.

While my current relationship is not ending due to anything negative, I still have to consider the entirety of it; what was good (dang near everything!), what was not-so-good (hmm… can’t think of anything off the top of my head), what did I learn (wouldn’t you like to know?), and did I grow from the experience?

This long-winded response is really just my way of saying that it’s okay to take the time to take stock of yourself and your recent break up before venturing forward in life. Chances are things will fall into place for you soon. I wish you the very best!
Thank you! I wasn’t expecting all the support I’ve seen here on dims. Good thing that came out of this is that I got involved here, and I may never have if I hadn’t been in that relationship in the first place.

Part of what makes this difficult, is that the breakup happened so suddenly. We were realizing we wanted different things out of life and decided to separate for a while. I did NOT think we were breaking up. Then I found out he was looking for someone else, and I realized he must be looking at this separation differently than me. I fully expected us to take a few months… maybe a year, sort things out and then I’d move back in and we’d resume where we left off, even if our life goals had changed. It was just a kick in the gut. I still feel like I can’t get my head around it. But I guess that’s how most people feel after a break up.
 

Sonic Purity

Grateful for calm, rational discussion and science
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Messages
353
Location
Pasadena, California, U.S.A.
It was just a kick in the gut. I still feel like I can’t get my head around it. But I guess that’s how most people feel after a break up.
Yyyyyeeep. Especially if either or both (or all) involved are blindsided.

Very Best Healing Wishes to you, Jack, and anyone else going through this.
Delighted that you’re still here, posting.
 

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
13,611
Location
The great white north, eh?
Thank you! I wasn’t expecting all the support I’ve seen here on dims. Good thing that came out of this is that I got involved here, and I may never have if I hadn’t been in that relationship in the first place.

...... It was just a kick in the gut. I still feel like I can’t get my head around it. But I guess that’s how most people feel after a break up.
I'm glad you are able to see a silver lining, even after a blow like this. Sorry that things unraveled so fast.
 

JackCivelli

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2020
Messages
161
Location
Dallas, Tx
I’m feeling it too. Loneliness sucks.
I don’t want to sound like I’m speaking out of turn here or over sharing the situation, but Mel and I have talked and there are no hard feelings. I was definitely too hasty in rejoining FF and Feabie as quickly as I did. I thought the community atmosphere might help me feel better, but it also sent the wrong message, too. Sorry. I was 100% the asshole :(
 

Mel KM

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 19, 2020
Messages
70
Location
Dallas, Tx
I’m feeling it too. Loneliness sucks.
I don’t want to sound like I’m speaking out of turn here or over sharing the situation, but Mel and I have talked and there are no hard feelings. I was definitely too hasty in rejoining FF and Feabie as quickly as I did. I thought the community atmosphere might help me feel better, but it also sent the wrong message, too. Sorry. I was 100% the asshole :(
No, it’s ok. I said we were taking a break without setting any ground rules. We went about seeking comfort in different ways. You’re not an asshole :)
 

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