The debate over the meaning of "FA" is bad enough... the debate over the meaning of "fetish" is a bottomless can of worms . After two years of Dims debates I've given up on it; if you ask eight people to define "fetish," you'll get eight different answers, plus it's a word which, like you said, tends to carry a lot of negative connotations. I try to avoid using it.For some people the word "fetish" implies some level of objectification and vicimization and for those people I think then fat admiration becomes a sort of moral quandary: Do I objectify? Am I the victim? Am I good or am I bad? The questions get asked because then the levels of guilt and possible blame need to be sorted out....There shouldn't be any quilt and there shouldn't be any blame, there shouldn't be a moral quandary but for some people, there it is.
"Fat Admirer" might have been a bad choice of words on the part of whoever invented it, since it reads as if the focus of admiration is fat-as-object rather than fat-person-as-person. But in practice, it's useful shorthand for "person who prefers a fat sexual partner."
Although, as we're discussing in that other thread, the question then becomes "what is 'fat'"? Turtles all the way down, I tell ya .
I understood SuperO's question as being about the term, not the desire that the term refers to. Would people who identify as FAs and FFAs be better off not having a word to describe themselves, because that word ends up confining them?It seems to me that the underlying question SuperO is asking is: "Is fat admiration limiting?" I've never thought of it as a limiting thing. If anything I've learned that there is a very wide margin of desire. Too wide for my liking but I'm learning to accept it because if it weren't so wide a lot of us would get left out.
I think the answer is no, but that might be because the boundary between "FA" and "not-FA" isn't a problem for me. Sexually, I'm only attracted to fat women, and as far as I can tell this is an immutable biochemical/neurological fact. I don't worry about violating my FA status by becoming attracted to a thin woman, because I don't become attracted to thin women. Q.E.D.
I see what SuperO is getting at, though. If were "bi-sizual" or found myself in a relationship with a thin woman because I was overwhelmingly attracted to her personality/intelligence, it could be an awkward experience, simply because the FA/BBW community is a major part of my social identity -- I'm involved in the online community, I go to bashes, etc. I don't know how I would navigate this situation, were it ever to come up.