SSBBW, Adventure, Magic, ~XWG - Four girls agree to an offer by a mysterious being, little knowing what awaits them!
[Author's Note: The idea of magical tricksters has always interested me, and now that I have finally got enough time off of the PS3 game Folklore, I can finally get down to creating my own! Like my previous story, Forgotten For Later, this first chapter is going to be a lot of backstory.]
Chapter 1: The Dimensional Jumper
I looked through the dimensional gap, my multi-coloured eye rolling around the human world. I had seen it change, and grow! I had always marveled at the tenacity of humanity to take inspiration from nature and not even notice it. Isaac Newton and the apple, for instance, that was such a simple trick, just pluck the apple from the tree, let it fall onto his head, and hey presto!, the best explanation for how humanity stays on the face of the earth. Truly incredible!
It's also remarkable how humans can look the other way when something they don't like shows up. They have managed to ignore giants, vampires, mages and aliens all on their doorstep. Global warming, for instance, that joke has been going on for a long time, far longer than the 20th century, and yet the fools still don't get the punchline! But on the other hand, Fae humor is an acquired taste, something apes still haven't got the hang of.
You're probably wondering who the bloody hell I am. I am a dimensional jumper, known as the Joker, and I am a creature from the Fae world. My usual attire is a harlequin suit, pointed shoes, the jester's cap, a small scepter and, as with all Fae no matter our guise, pointed ears. My eyes are ever changing vortexes of colour. My smile is permanent, as I enjoy my life immensely, playing tricks on people from all four worlds, only this job wasn't about just about jokes.
I had spied four young girls from the human world; pretty things, if undernourished. They had also taken the joke of another Fae too seriously as well. Most of them had the latest fashion on, rather too much more pink than any seriously sane person would consider wearing. Two of them had long hair let down, the blonde and the brunette; a second brunette had long hair done in a ponytail; the fourth, another blonde, had it short. So far I hadn't seen their faces; I supposed I would have to change all that. I inched the dimensional door open a bit further.
I stepped out into the human world, being careful to place a "somebody else's problem" distraction around the conversation.
"Hi!" I said. The four girls turned around to me. The amount of makeup on their faces was akin to tribal war painting. No Fae in their right mind would put that much on!
"Who the hell are you?" said the long-haired blonde.
"I am an interdimensional drifter who became lost and was partaken by your beauty," I replied.
A look of confusion was on the faces of four girls for a moment, before the usual screamings of "Help, there's a strange man trying to kill us!"
My word, if most girls in this world were this pathetic, it's no wonder patriarchy is still so strong here.
"I am here to offer you the chance of a lifetime." Quickly changing into a more business-like quise, I offered my card. The ponytailed brunette, whom I later found out was the most sensible of the entire group, took the card. She was the only one who wasn't screaming her head off.
"The Joker," she read out loud. "Let me see, British accent, strange business card, coming out of nowhere. You must be a dimensional jumper!"
"How did you guess?" I said sarcastically. Obviously she didn't get the sarcasm.
"My friend, Mary, met another dimension jumper, called 'Ace O. Spade.' He must be one of your friends!" I smiled and nodded. To be honest, the Aces and me had never gotten along well.
"I'm offering you a chance to rule over one of the realms of the fairies, the realm of Suit. All realms have queens at the heads, the kings are really just there to make the male population feel wanted. The old queens have died, unfortunately, so they have sent me to find four girls to become the beautiful new queens of the Suit realm."
That was one of my jobs that I had to do. No jokes, unfortunately, but I could have some fun, as it's always fun to lie and not tell people everything. Just a note to anyone who is reading this speech, my lies do have fractions of truth in them. "Who wants to be in charge of a mighty queendom where you can rule the subjects as kindly or as harshly as you want with no consquences?" was my first lie. "To have more money than you've ever imagined," was my second lie. "To be have god-like status," my third lie, "and to remain as beautiful as you are now," you probably guessed that this is a whopper of a lie.
"Come on, girls," said the long-haired blonde, who was obviously the leader. "Let's do this, it sounds like an opportunity too good to miss!"
"I'm still a little unsure," said Ponytail.
"Come on, Emily, when have you had a moment like this!" said Long blonde.
"Okay, Penelope, I'll come."
"Excellent!" I said, beaming. These girls were obviously pretty thick, don't they know that nothing ever comes free? But that wasn't for me to complain about; I had got myself four queens into the bargain, and they didn't even know what was in for them.
I opened the door again, this time making it an impressive door with large ornate handles, just to add effect, and they all bundled inside. They really didn't know what they let themselves in for. What a laugh this was going to be!
[Author's Note: The idea of magical tricksters has always interested me, and now that I have finally got enough time off of the PS3 game Folklore, I can finally get down to creating my own! Like my previous story, Forgotten For Later, this first chapter is going to be a lot of backstory.]
The Joker Chronicles: Book 1, Queens
Chapters 1-4
by Irish Bard
Chapters 1-4
by Irish Bard
Chapter 1: The Dimensional Jumper
I looked through the dimensional gap, my multi-coloured eye rolling around the human world. I had seen it change, and grow! I had always marveled at the tenacity of humanity to take inspiration from nature and not even notice it. Isaac Newton and the apple, for instance, that was such a simple trick, just pluck the apple from the tree, let it fall onto his head, and hey presto!, the best explanation for how humanity stays on the face of the earth. Truly incredible!
It's also remarkable how humans can look the other way when something they don't like shows up. They have managed to ignore giants, vampires, mages and aliens all on their doorstep. Global warming, for instance, that joke has been going on for a long time, far longer than the 20th century, and yet the fools still don't get the punchline! But on the other hand, Fae humor is an acquired taste, something apes still haven't got the hang of.
You're probably wondering who the bloody hell I am. I am a dimensional jumper, known as the Joker, and I am a creature from the Fae world. My usual attire is a harlequin suit, pointed shoes, the jester's cap, a small scepter and, as with all Fae no matter our guise, pointed ears. My eyes are ever changing vortexes of colour. My smile is permanent, as I enjoy my life immensely, playing tricks on people from all four worlds, only this job wasn't about just about jokes.
I had spied four young girls from the human world; pretty things, if undernourished. They had also taken the joke of another Fae too seriously as well. Most of them had the latest fashion on, rather too much more pink than any seriously sane person would consider wearing. Two of them had long hair let down, the blonde and the brunette; a second brunette had long hair done in a ponytail; the fourth, another blonde, had it short. So far I hadn't seen their faces; I supposed I would have to change all that. I inched the dimensional door open a bit further.
I stepped out into the human world, being careful to place a "somebody else's problem" distraction around the conversation.
"Hi!" I said. The four girls turned around to me. The amount of makeup on their faces was akin to tribal war painting. No Fae in their right mind would put that much on!
"Who the hell are you?" said the long-haired blonde.
"I am an interdimensional drifter who became lost and was partaken by your beauty," I replied.
A look of confusion was on the faces of four girls for a moment, before the usual screamings of "Help, there's a strange man trying to kill us!"
My word, if most girls in this world were this pathetic, it's no wonder patriarchy is still so strong here.
"I am here to offer you the chance of a lifetime." Quickly changing into a more business-like quise, I offered my card. The ponytailed brunette, whom I later found out was the most sensible of the entire group, took the card. She was the only one who wasn't screaming her head off.
"The Joker," she read out loud. "Let me see, British accent, strange business card, coming out of nowhere. You must be a dimensional jumper!"
"How did you guess?" I said sarcastically. Obviously she didn't get the sarcasm.
"My friend, Mary, met another dimension jumper, called 'Ace O. Spade.' He must be one of your friends!" I smiled and nodded. To be honest, the Aces and me had never gotten along well.
"I'm offering you a chance to rule over one of the realms of the fairies, the realm of Suit. All realms have queens at the heads, the kings are really just there to make the male population feel wanted. The old queens have died, unfortunately, so they have sent me to find four girls to become the beautiful new queens of the Suit realm."
That was one of my jobs that I had to do. No jokes, unfortunately, but I could have some fun, as it's always fun to lie and not tell people everything. Just a note to anyone who is reading this speech, my lies do have fractions of truth in them. "Who wants to be in charge of a mighty queendom where you can rule the subjects as kindly or as harshly as you want with no consquences?" was my first lie. "To have more money than you've ever imagined," was my second lie. "To be have god-like status," my third lie, "and to remain as beautiful as you are now," you probably guessed that this is a whopper of a lie.
"Come on, girls," said the long-haired blonde, who was obviously the leader. "Let's do this, it sounds like an opportunity too good to miss!"
"I'm still a little unsure," said Ponytail.
"Come on, Emily, when have you had a moment like this!" said Long blonde.
"Okay, Penelope, I'll come."
"Excellent!" I said, beaming. These girls were obviously pretty thick, don't they know that nothing ever comes free? But that wasn't for me to complain about; I had got myself four queens into the bargain, and they didn't even know what was in for them.
I opened the door again, this time making it an impressive door with large ornate handles, just to add effect, and they all bundled inside. They really didn't know what they let themselves in for. What a laugh this was going to be!
