The Official Joke Thread :D

[Joker]

I've always liked to imagine that the trade name of Viagra is derived from the Sanskrit word व्यघ्र (vyaghra), meaning tiger, because it makes you "perform" like a tiger.

No it just gives you a hammer. You still have to move it to get the job done.

 

[Barbsjw]

@CPProp we call them satellite dishes.

 

[Shotha]

No it just gives you a hammer. You still have to move it to get the job done.

I wouldn't know about that. I've never had to take it. I was just musing on the possible etymology of the name.

 

[Joker]

I wouldn't know about that. I've never had to take it. I was just musing on the possible etymology of the name.

I prefer Celassis low dose.

 

[Shotha]

I prefer Celassis low dose.

I've never heard of that.

 

[Joker]

I've never heard of that.

Some news is hard to find.

 

[Shotha]

Some news is hard to find.

Do you mean Cialis?

A young friend of mine once asked me, "Hey, Frank, what's it like to be fat."

I replied, "It's just like having an erection, except it's all over. It lasts a hell of a lot longer. And, when you get to my age, you don't need to take Viagra to maintain it. You should try it some time."

 

[CPProp]

As lockdown continues my neighbour appears to have taken up carpentry as a hobby, I was going to make a joke about it but I can’t think of any that woodwork.

 

[Barbsjw]

Did you hear about the midget fortune teller who escaped from prison?

He's a small medium at large.

 

[DazzlingAnna]

Greek writer of funny everyday stories:
Anecdoteles

 

[Barbsjw]

The most famous tailor in Ancient Greece

Youripedithese

 

[CPProp]

I think the next Jurassic World film should be called A Reptile Dysfunction.

 

[Shotha]

The most famous tailor in Ancient Greece

Youripedithese

And hiss most frequent customer was Eumenides.

 

[CPProp]

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

 

[wrenchboy]

A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.

Bartender asks, "What can I get for you?"

Man replies, "One beer for me and one for the road."

 

[Joker]

A man walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.

Bartender asks, "What can I get for you?"

Man replies, "One beer for me and one for the road."

 

[Barbsjw]

What did the blond say when she walked into a bar?

"Ow!"

 

[DazzlingAnna]

How many calories are in the chocolate cake we bought today?

No more.

 

[DazzlingAnna]

How many sit-ups do you do in the morning?

One?!

 

[CPProp]

“Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?”