The Official Joke Thread :D

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CPProp

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Ee bar gum, dust they know arfer tow crate in Stafficher?
No but perhaps I should read it, lived near Wolves for a few years and got to understand the black country dialect. I'm more of a Geordy (but accentless)
 

CPProp

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Two men are having a conversation:
- I’ve been married three times but all three wives passed away.
- Really? How did that happen?
- My first wife died after eating poisonous mushrooms...
- No kidding? And the second?
- She too passed away after eating poisonous mushrooms.
- Unbelievable! And the third?
- My third wife died from a skull fracture.
- Really? How did this happen?
- She refused to eat the mushrooms!!!
 

CPProp

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My Nan had an amazing way with words. I remember I rang her up when my Granddad had gone in this home – very sad. I said how is he getting on in this home? She said ‘oh he’s like a fish out of water’, I said ‘is he finding it hard to adjust?’ She said ‘no he’s dead’
 

CPProp

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I once got a puncture in a place called Hindley Green, on the outskirts of Wigan. I pulled into the garage and said, ‘Have you got an Airline?’ He said, ‘Push off, we’ve not even got a bus station.'
 

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