The Official Thread For Really Bad Advice

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WhiteHotRazor

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To all the BHM's and FFA or whatever the hell you consider yourself that are looking to find love here's some bad advice for you, pick up a crippling drug addiction there's always some woman or man that will have a soft spot and take you in and no matter how much you ruin their life they will always love you.

remember, people tend to like challenges.
 

CastingPearls

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Stalk them. Don't take 'no' for an answer. Hell, dignity is just a word and wearing them down usually works. Usually. Make sure Mom has bail money just in case.
 

WhiteHotRazor

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Honesty is always the best policy, even when a woman asks how they look in that dress they picked up at goodwill.
 

CastingPearls

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First impressions are lasting impressions. Alcohol isn't called 'liquid courage' for nothing. Copious amounts, but not so much that they're mopping up your courage, unless they're a nurse, then Nightingale Syndrome might work in your favor.
 

Surlysomething

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Hey now, why are you telling my secret? haha.

To all the BHM's and FFA or whatever the hell you consider yourself that are looking to find love here's some bad advice for you, pick up a crippling drug addiction there's always some woman or man that will have a soft spot and take you in and no matter how much you ruin their life they will always love you.

remember, people tend to like challenges.
 

WhiteHotRazor

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If you go home with a random stranger and just so happen to look in their medicine cabinet and see Valtrex, don't freak out most likely it's their roommates.
 

CastingPearls

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If you go home with a random stranger and just so happen to look in their medicine cabinet and see Valtrex, don't freak out most likely it's their roommates.
If they have no roommate, it's definitely their cat's. Don't dis the cat, dude/ette.
 

WhiteHotRazor

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When a woman is being a complete JERK (i say this word only to keep my feminist rep in tact on this dumb site) a good way to make them realize their poor behavior is to tell them that "They really are just like their mother" works every time.
 

CastingPearls

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Don't lie to a man and tell him 'size doesn't matter' but at the same time, make sure you have a concrete exit plan. And cab fare home.
 

WhiteHotRazor

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At social events a good way to get everyone in a really cheerful mood is to bring up politics and religion, make sure to tell everyone else their opinion sucks and that they're idiots for not thinking like you, maybe even use the word "reprehensible" a few times. They all will come around and everything will completely rock. For extra fun mix in tequila shots.
 

Hozay J Garseeya

Rooder. Crooder. Neuter.
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hozaygarseeya,
when you don't have a condom, just raw dog it and pull out.

Alternatively, use saran wrap.

Alternatively to that, make sure she does some jumping jacks when the deed is done.

Crisis averted.
 

theronin23

In Remembrance
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If you keep a condom in your wallet, the heat of being against your body eventually damages the integrity of the condom. Take a sewing needle and poke some holes into the wrapper for ventilation. Problem solved.
 

The Dark Lady

Got some dark desire?
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Always open surprise birthday presents from your lovers early. Like, super early. They REALLY like it when you do that. *coff coff*
 

WhiteHotRazor

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Black women really like it when you touch their hair, give it a try sometime to a random stranger just to see how much it makes their day.
 

Goreki

Fairy tales and Woe
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Teach them the beauty of romantic love. Don't let reason, the word "no" or a restraining order stop you.
 

cakeboy

Douchepuncher Supreme!
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Always get in the van. Sometimes there really is free candy!
 

seeker421

Active Member
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Never drive drunk but if you must drive drunk drive really fast so you aren't on the road as long.

Also never try to bribe a cop when he pulls you over for speeding and driving drunk, offer him a beer instead.
 

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