Discussion in 'BBW/FA Board' started by largenlovely, Apr 26, 2008.
hey i drive a classic volkswagen beetle, ill try and make it work
Back on topic is a great idea. Before you guys make any kind of decision or change what you are doing, read through this thread.
One thing that I have experienced is that I get between 40 and 80 requests for messages on Instagram every week. These are all men, many trying to pass themselves off as American Soldiers that are stationed overseas. It is a scam, I’ve read about it, saw the news clips about it, heck I’ve watched the show catfished. So that means the likelihood of me engaging with someone from IG is null.
Many supersized women myself included have horror stories about how we have been treated, dumped, used, and just not had good luck with the guys. I was made fun of all through school and even I to college I was an outcast. Unfortunately when you approach me you are paying the price of the ones that did not do it nicely.
And here lies the conundrum we face: On the one hand, we have guys who are looking for love, companionship, and relationships with lovely women of size but can't seem to find them anywhere. They are willing to do most anything right and decent in the spirit of togetherness but for some reason the apple of their eye remains elusive.
On the other hand, we have many, many women, both young and more mature alike, that have been jaded by similar experiences as what DragonFly has alluded to: crappy catfish stories, scammers, and outright jackasses. I get it. Most people are vulnerable when it comes to affairs of the heart and most times your fears are doubled when/if you are a BBW/BHM and every iteration thereof. It's hard to trust when your trust's been broken, kicked, and stepped upon so many times. Us guys just have to be patient and show our true selves as much as possible. We all have to take risks; even though there's a chance of getting hurt (again). What's the alternative? Being alone when you know good and damn well you don't really want to be? Just keep swinging ladies and gentlemen. Just keep swinging!
Found out that my wife's cousin (who planned our trip to Las Vegas & The Grand Canyon) had very little idea of what handicapped access is. She asked if you could get a scooter on an Cadillac Escalade(yes after lifting the 187# scooter about 3 feet), a tour bus(yes, but you still had to climb the stairs on & off of it) ((My wife fell once getting off)) afterward I had to help her get into bed, as the beds were tall & she's short, & hurting after the fall. Also there were excellent cabs for loading scooters/wheelchairs, for going around town or back to the airport. Also to note, anyone going to Hawaii, we highly commend Access Aloha, for anyone needing handicapped travel on Oahu.
The guys lamenting no BBWs available in their areas, I’d you read nothing else, read @DragonFly post above and read the post I’ve quoted here.
Between the defenses some women construct for the reasons she lays out and the day to day challenges larger girls face (see the post I quoted) you definitely need to be ready to 1) navigate through a complex minefield of emotional issues and 2) be ready to settle in for the long haul when helping her deal with daily frustrations.
The member I quoted hasn’t posted in some time, but it may as well have been my wife posting what she did. Every single one of her frustrations are things I’ve seen my wife grapple with too.
It isn’t always fun. It isn’t always glamorous. It damn sure isn’t always sexy. It’s a lot to deal with at times. And just “liking fat girls” is not going to be enough to get you in. Each person is unique and may not be motivated by the same things that other bigger girls value.
Like I said, it’s a complex minefield. And even once you find the one you’re not done. At that point you’re only getting started!
You make a good point. Folks (guys) are generally looking at the prospect of dating a SSBBW with an eye toward primarily the sexual side of things. But as you point out, there's a lot more that goes into being in a relationship than just sex. You have to be prepared to deal with all of the other aspects of living with/dating someone who is larger than life. You have to go into it with "a servant's heart" and be prepared to do more than buy meals and flowers (although I'm sure many would appreciate those gestures).
Lol! We are out there.
You guys both make good points.
Indeed. I never had trouble finding love as a fat girl. I think as long as someone can look beyond cultural expectations and has the confidence to follow their dreams, they will happily date anyone of a body type they desire and there's plenty of love for SSBBWS and BBWS to go around.
If you find your posts missing I moved some over to create a new thread titled
Fa Dating Frustrations
I felt it was an important enough topic to merit its own space.
Separate names with a comma.