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The Reality Of Dating An SSBBW

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DragonFly

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I just wanted to say that in my life I have had two fantastic loves, the first for 17 years, we grew apart, we are the best of friends and speak or text daily. My second love passed away unexpectedly in Oct of 2016.

In my post I wanted to make sure I really explained that it was not objectification I was dealing with but a form of socially approved attack. Things are better today than they were 30 years ago, but when you add ageism to sizeism it is rather bleak.
 

Stargazer78

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Here is my concern.
I think a lot of women here have had dates that have claimed to only like fat women. My wife told me some time ago that she noticed in bed almost immediately whether that was true or not.
She said that she realizied at once if the man ever had sex with a fat woman.
I would be interested to see if other women can confirm this.
 

BigElectricKat

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Here is my concern.
I think a lot of women here have had dates that have claimed to only like fat women. My wife told me some time ago that she noticed in bed almost immediately whether that was true or not.
She said that she realizied at once if the man ever had sex with a fat woman.
I would be interested to see if other women can confirm this.
I don't think that is a fair assessment. What about those guys (or gals) who are just discovering their affinity for plus-sized people. There is a first time for everything. And not all people (fat or otherwise) like the same things.
 

happily_married

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I don't think that is a fair assessment. What about those guys (or gals) who are just discovering their affinity for plus-sized people. There is a first time for everything. And not all people (fat or otherwise) like the same things.
Agree. I was a little awkward in bed as I adjusted to plus size partners. But I was sincere and genuinely wanted to be there with them in that moment.

@Stargazer78 did your wife ever elaborate and explain what she meant?
 

BigElectricKat

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Agree. I was a little awkward in bed as I adjusted to plus size partners. But I was sincere and genuinely wanted to be there with them in that moment.
Completely agree with you hm! As in any new experience, there will be growing pains. But gauge us by our sincerity, willingness, and passion. If you find those in a lover, most everything else can be worked out.
 

op user

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Would a bit of awkwardness is justified by the size of the lady. For instance an FA is accustomed at a size - yet when they are lucky to attract a larger lady how quickly "is he required" for lack of a better term, to adjust to the new size? And if he doesn't adapt quickly enough should he "lost" the FA term?
 

op user

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Write thanks for your input. A woman size 12 and a woman size 32 have different bodies even if they are both apple. The bellies or the arms would be of different size and the FA who is used to the size 12 would be awkward when taking care of one at 32 maybe he is not used the size of the arms and how to handle them. In other words he may be awkward because he is in a unknown but nevertheless familiar territory.

So yes he is happy to be with a big lady but then again we is uncertain of how to proceed.

I am afraid I don't know how to express it.
 

happily_married

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Completely agree with you hm! As in any new experience, there will be growing pains. But gauge us by our sincerity, willingness, and passion. If you find those in a lover, most everything else can be worked out.
Yeah, I can remember specifically two very different partners I had years ago. They were both BBWs but with very different body types. I’ve mentioned both here a few times.

One was tall, over 6’ and had a body more consistent with a Lane Bryant model. Like a plus size model with a little more “plus.” I was about 150 pounds at the time and she was a little over 300. I had never been with a woman her size or dimensions. Couple that with her being The most sexually aggressive woman I’ve ever been with and it was a physical challenge for me.

The other one was about two years later. In between I had returned to a toxic girlfriend I have mentioned a few times, slept with a few chubby girls and a few fit girls, but hadn’t really been with another fat girl. Then I stumbled into my relationship with J, who was only 5’2 and weighed almost 360. Her body presented other challenges. The shape of her body meant adjust positions than what I was used to and there were times I found it difficult at first. But once I got used to it I was so excited to be with her.

If she would have judged me based on my first few awkward nights with her she would have moved on!
 

Shotha

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Perhaps, I shouldn't even be reading this thread, because I'm gay. However, not all FA's are the same. Some of them just want sex and others want a full relationship with sex, romance and doing everything in life together. A person looking for the latter is not going to feel comfortable with a guy who just wants sex. And then there is the fact that we fat people are not all created the same. We range from slightly plump to very fat. An FA, who has so far only had sex with slightly plump people, might show remarkable lack of skill in having sex with a very fat person for the first time and yet would not be lying in saying that he only dated fat people. I don't feel that I should be trying to resolve this issue in this thread; I'm just suggesting a couple of lines of inquiry.
 

Jay78

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When my husband and I met I drove a G6 and he had a Beetle. A few months later I bought a small SUV. He has had 2 Dodge Rams and now a Traverse. With 2 kids (4 and 1) I’m sadly looking at minivans lol. Never realized how much a built in vacuum would appeal to me.
many of us have said never but honestly it’s a living room on wheels!!
 

Phaddy

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I am old and have been with many different women with many different body types. From my first memories, I have had a fetish for chubby and fat women, particularly those who seem to be gaining as a result of their inability to control their appetites and passions. Even women who are almost the same in terms of height, weight, and physical condition are individually unique. The process of initial lovemaking is all about experimentation and openness. The objective is to share and learn what the other person likes. This demands a willingness to communicate. If I am doing something that doesn't feel great, tell me. There is a scene in a Mel Gibson movie What Women Want that shows the challenge. He is making love to Marisa Tomei and can hear her thoughts. When she thinks "Slow down," he can hear it and adjusts. Going into intimacy with anyone for the first time tends to be most enjoyable when both people are willing to experiment, but also say what they would like, ideally expressed with tenderness instead of sounding like the navigation in my car. But even that direct direction can help: slower, faster, harder, softer. These quick directions can help navigate any body type. Please forgive the food reference, but "oreo" directions are often the most effective: "I love the way your body feels. Do you like it when I push into your big belly? This is so much fun!" I am thick and have what probably would qualify as a big belly with a 48-inch waist. If I am with a woman with a big belly, we need to negotiate access and what feels comfortable. I remember years back fooling around with a woman who tantalized me without trying at 200 pounds on a 5'-6" frame having exercised down from being depressed and maybe 230. She had a big belly (think Goddess Shar). She was clearly taken with my thickness and she made all of the first moves. I don't think she had been with anyone as big as me (6'-0" and 290 but truly big-boned and muscled under a layer that made me look more lineman than linebacker. I lay down on my back on the floor fully clothed and she straddled me. She was shocked by how high she was off the floor with me under her. She started getting a bit nervous so I asked her what was wrong. She was worried that if everything was anatomically proportional, I might be scary. I had to explain to her that was not the case and the reality was potentially a problem in the other direction. While I was proud when I was around 20 years old and playing football as a linebacker at around 210, the extra 80 pounds provided "protection" that definitely affected how big other parts of me looked. Being open and honest made her more comfortable since she was also anxious about what I would think of her with her FUPA. The important thing was we were both attracted to one another "just the way we were" and were able to provide suggestions to each other to make it more fun.
 

BBW_Admirer_Kevin

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I was chatting about this tonight and felt like it should be a post lol

It has been said that you can tell if a man is TRULY an FA by the type of car he drives. It is a snap judgement call i suppose, because if the guy can only afford a ford fiesta, well what can ya do...but economics aside...i think it's a relatively good indicator (in a comical sort of way lol). I mean, if a guy is serious about having a relationship with a supersized woman it just wouldn't be smart to own a tiny car.

This train of thought of course led to other issues. I'm sure this has been a topic before, but i haven't read it..so here goes again i suppose :) You have to wonder with all these fellas who claim they want a supersized woman.. do they REALLY know what they're getting themselves into? Are they up for the job? Or is it just a fantasy that they play out in their mind without thinking of any of the realities?

I dated a guy once a few years ago..we went to a music festival and had to walk for miles upon miles. I was about 375 at the time..and wasn't in bad shape for that size, but miles of walking is HARD. I would have to sit down periodically because of cramps in my legs and sore feet...and eventually he got tired of it!!! My response? well.. "either ya deal with it or maybe i should go on a diet" (i was bluffing of course LOL) but that type of unsympathetic response shouldn't come from a man who claims to love supersized women.

Men who are interested in SSBBW's should realize that, after a certain size, we're not able to do things like that. We can't walk into any restaurant and fit in the booth. Some of us like (or need) to be dropped off at the front of the store..and i personally have to ride in the cart and would not want to be with a man who would be embarrassed by that. We sometimes need help getting up from a low chair..or help getting into a high vehicle.

I know i've only touched on very few of the issues that SSBBW's have to think about and deal with on a daily basis, but i'm tired lol. Fortunately for me my man thinks of these things, but God knows i had previously spoken to a lot of men who were quite clueless about these types of issues and the realities of dating an SSBBW.

So my question is...fellas have you really thought about what the reality of dating an SSBBW is like? Please do tell :)
Yep and married her. Not sure what I can and can’t say here but for me there is nothing sexier than a BBW.
I realise that physically I may need to help and do whatever I need.
My wife, as I have said is a BBW and 5ft 1 inch. Small things come in small packages.
BBW women are simply the best, in every way
 

Mr. Jigglesworth

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I've certainly dated, married women in the 330's to 440's since my mid 20's to my early mid 30's before moving up scale towards 500 and over 600lbs. I'm read and studied books and magazines about such things. I've dealt with severe asthma, diabetes, lyphodimia, currently really badly done viacose veins where she wears a compression vest to help her to pee easier. Helping her when she needs it and letting her do it to not become dependent on me. I love big cars with V-8's in them, even before considering the size of my passenger. I'd love to watch her massive belly undulating against the dashboard while I drive. I'm 60 now and she's 56 and we're living the dream and know what's ahead and how to deal with it. You have to have a server's mentality to have a successful relationship with supersized partners, you treat them how you want to be treated and be consistent and loving for with great rewards come great responsibility you can't fake it til you make it. You have to live it for real. I'm buying what was once called a boat or land yacht because of style, size and power under the hood.
 
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svenm2112

FA who is embracing his attraction to ssbbw
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Hey gals.
I know what the reality of a ssbbw. I was married to a ssbbw. But unfortunately outside interference the marriage. Her son and nephews. Destroyed it. But we had some great times. You have rheumatoid arthritis. So she couldn't walk that very far.
So I know what it's like. You take care of an SSBBW. I sure do miss the softness. The Snuggling. And the late night talks and being together. I hope to meet that nice. ssbbw
 

extra_m13

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not precisely an ssbbw but once i dated a big woman, first time into the movies, arm up for her to fit in, no problem... but i choose some high seating and she did not say a thing but i could hear her heavily breathing, it was hot i must admit but lesson learned, you need to watch the steps and the distance to go if the lady is really out of shape.
 
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