The Reality Of Dating An SSBBW

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I was chatting about this tonight and felt like it should be a post lol

It has been said that you can tell if a man is TRULY an FA by the type of car he drives. It is a snap judgement call i suppose, because if the guy can only afford a ford fiesta, well what can ya do...but economics aside...i think it's a relatively good indicator (in a comical sort of way lol). I mean, if a guy is serious about having a relationship with a supersized woman it just wouldn't be smart to own a tiny car.

This train of thought of course led to other issues. I'm sure this has been a topic before, but i haven't read it..so here goes again i suppose :) You have to wonder with all these fellas who claim they want a supersized woman.. do they REALLY know what they're getting themselves into? Are they up for the job? Or is it just a fantasy that they play out in their mind without thinking of any of the realities?

I dated a guy once a few years ago..we went to a music festival and had to walk for miles upon miles. I was about 375 at the time..and wasn't in bad shape for that size, but miles of walking is HARD. I would have to sit down periodically because of cramps in my legs and sore feet...and eventually he got tired of it!!! My response? well.. "either ya deal with it or maybe i should go on a diet" (i was bluffing of course LOL) but that type of unsympathetic response shouldn't come from a man who claims to love supersized women.

Men who are interested in SSBBW's should realize that, after a certain size, we're not able to do things like that. We can't walk into any restaurant and fit in the booth. Some of us like (or need) to be dropped off at the front of the store..and i personally have to ride in the cart and would not want to be with a man who would be embarrassed by that. We sometimes need help getting up from a low chair..or help getting into a high vehicle.

I know i've only touched on very few of the issues that SSBBW's have to think about and deal with on a daily basis, but i'm tired lol. Fortunately for me my man thinks of these things, but God knows i had previously spoken to a lot of men who were quite clueless about these types of issues and the realities of dating an SSBBW.

So my question is...fellas have you really thought about what the reality of dating an SSBBW is like? Please do tell :)
yeah I could only imagine...but I know it takes plenty of money for food, the ability to take care of her like a queen (I can do that part) but I am broke thanks to covid-19 sigh...
If I won the lottery or something I think I would be the perfect person for a ssbbw, I really just want someone to worship and coddle for the rest of my life.
maybe one day...before I die
I hope, sigh.
 

larce

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Hi Melissa ! My truck is pretty tall ,but with nice steps to get up and handles in the cab ,my girlfriend has no issues getting up and in to the seat ,of course I always open the door and assist if she needs me to do so ,what man would not do so for his Princess ? Larce
 

In to it

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I built a custom van that lowers and then a foldout walk and the incline is very low. The front right seat moves back to the side doors for easy access press the button and your up front and lock it in. I made the interior very comfy and had it custom painted and it looks real classy.
 

Mr. Jigglesworth

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I think I'll get a "Boaterhome" like on the Little Caesars commercial. Looks big enough, reinforced and can go anywhere in style. But if she outgrows that, we'd have to upgrade to a Yachtbus when she's Uber-Sized😀😀😀
 

NewJoe

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Fellas, if you are dead serious about dating SSBBW'S like myself please take notes above in regards of car ride accomodations, seat belt extendors, and walking breaks for our body frames. :cool:
I had to learn this the hard way in high school. My sweetheart, an SSBBW, was very generous and patient. I learned that our family Volvo was not the car to pick her up in on a date, but our big Plymouth tank worked just fine without seatbelts. Booths in restaurants didn't work, but free tables with movable chairs made for a nice dinner. We learned which restaurants were accommodating of plus-sized people, and avoided the rest. Long walks were out of the question, but a brief stroll was quite romantic. Sex was an adventure, but we made it work. Beautifully!

Mostly, though, the challenges were social. This was back in the 70's, and it was just not considered cool for an athletic and tall guy to date a BBW. The comments were cruel, and the looks were constant. But since I was sooooo attracted to my sweetheart, I was able to ignore them.

And I learned so much. In the years that followed I was much more prepared. I had a big car, knew what to suggest vis-a-vis restaurants and activities, and got pretty good at introducing myself and showing my interest without being creepy. All and all, my relationships with SSBBWs have been absolutely wonderful.
 

LunaPlenus

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I never realized how lucky I was to have found an FA I guess. I've always been big, but never confident about it. They have helped me come to a better place with my body image. Seeing some of the things you all have been posting, I guess I took some of it for granted, not knowing there was anything else. Never really dated before then so yeah haha.

oh and to be on topic, they owned a minivan when we started dating lol!
 
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BigCutieDelilah

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It's hard to date as an SSBBW. A lot of people, don't realize the hard work and dedication and loyalty it takes to have a successful and healthy relationship with one. We have a lot of things that we do need help with and we dnt want to settle being with someone who is embarrassed or not willing to put in the time and effort it takes to look after and care for us.
 

BigElectricKat

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That's a very good question. Not only for you but also for your paramour. How does he/she know when to assist and when to let you do things on your own? I think it would probably take a good amount of communication between each person.
 

op user

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It is rather subtly but easy: just observe how relaxed she feels and be ready to take a break without making a big issue about. Or have a good idea which shops are accessible and frequent them. Just not put the ssbbwish if I make use the neologism into the centre of everything but have an idea how to help.
 

AmyJo1976

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I don't really need much help, yet anyway, but if I did, I would not be afraid to ask my husband for it. He prefers me to be this size, so he will have to play his part :) Dating I is a different story. I've had a date or two where the person I was with seemed skittish about being seen with me. I didn't put up with it. If I'm good enough for you to want to be intimate with, then I better damn sure be good enough for you to be seen in public with. I'm not a closet lover :D
 

BigElectricKat

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I don't really need much help, yet anyway, but if I did, I would not be afraid to ask my husband for it. He prefers me to be this size, so he will have to play his part :) Dating I is a different story. I've had a date or two where the person I was with seemed skittish about being seen with me. I didn't put up with it. If I'm good enough for you to want to be intimate with, then I better damn sure be good enough for you to be seen in public with. I'm not a closet lover :D
I've had this same experience, though for different reasons.:(
 

penguin

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If I'm good enough for you to want to be intimate with, then I better damn sure be good enough for you to be seen in public with. I'm not a closet lover :D
I’ve come across far too many who want you for sex but not for dating, and those who will date you but are still embarrassed or too concerned what other people *might* think. How their actions make you feel doesn’t factor into their thinking. I’m done with putting up with that. I have an ex who would manipulate an argument before we were due to go out with my friends, and would frequently twist things around so it would feel like my fault, even though it wasn’t. Then once things were “resolved” he’d want to go, but I would be such a wreck that I either couldn’t go out, or I’d have a miserable time. It took too long to figure that trap out, and the real kicker is that this is what he did only when it was my friends, who knew I was fat and loved me 🙄🙄 He always felt he could do better because I was fatter than his preference (I was a lot smaller then, too), and let me know.

I want someone who understands the limitations I have without making a big deal of it, and can anticipate what accomodations I’ll need. You want to go for a hike? I’m not your girl. You want to go shopping? Okay, but I will need to sit down to rest my back regularly as we go. Want to go out to eat? Great! Are you familiar with how fat-friendly the seating is? Some things need to be scouted to be sure it’s suitable.

Also, people will stare and wonder why someone like you is with someone like me. They might even make snarky or abusive comments, to me or just in earshot. There will be asses who yell abuse as they drive by. Can you handle that? Can you learn to ignore it? Can your focus be on me/us and not them? Can you stand up to your friends and family when they question why you’re with me?

If all they want is to get off, they can do that without me.
 

BigElectricKat

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I’ve come across far too many who want you for sex but not for dating, and those who will date you but are still embarrassed or too concerned what other people *might* think. How their actions make you feel doesn’t factor into their thinking. I’m done with putting up with that. I have an ex who would manipulate an argument before we were due to go out with my friends, and would frequently twist things around so it would feel like my fault, even though it wasn’t. Then once things were “resolved” he’d want to go, but I would be such a wreck that I either couldn’t go out, or I’d have a miserable time. It took too long to figure that trap out, and the real kicker is that this is what he did only when it was my friends, who knew I was fat and loved me 🙄🙄 He always felt he could do better because I was fatter than his preference (I was a lot smaller then, too), and let me know.

I want someone who understands the limitations I have without making a big deal of it, and can anticipate what accomodations I’ll need. You want to go for a hike? I’m not your girl. You want to go shopping? Okay, but I will need to sit down to rest my back regularly as we go. Want to go out to eat? Great! Are you familiar with how fat-friendly the seating is? Some things need to be scouted to be sure it’s suitable.

Also, people will stare and wonder why someone like you is with someone like me. They might even make snarky or abusive comments, to me or just in earshot. There will be asses who yell abuse as they drive by. Can you handle that? Can you learn to ignore it? Can your focus be on me/us and not them? Can you stand up to your friends and family when they question why you’re with me?

If all they want is to get off, they can do that without me.
Although I've never had to deal with the weight/size accommodations, everything else? Yeah, been there and done that. ;)
 

AmyJo1976

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I've had one relationship in my life that I would actually classify as abusive. It was my former fiance. He was a military man and really into fitness. Long story short, I worked my ass off to try and please him because I thought he loved me. He didn't really, I can see that now, not for the whole me anyways. Thing is and it's crazy, but it's how I think, I wish I could run into him today and he could see me now. I think I was 170lbs the last time he saw me. That was 11 years ago. He would die if he saw me now and I would love it lol! :D
 

Barrett

OMG, Becky, look at his belly.
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I've had one relationship in my life that I would actually classify as abusive. It was my former fiance. He was a military man and really into fitness. Long story short, I worked my ass off to try and please him because I thought he loved me. He didn't really, I can see that now, not for the whole me anyways. Thing is and it's crazy, but it's how I think, I wish I could run into him today and he could see me now. I think I was 170lbs the last time he saw me. That was 11 years ago. He would die if he saw me now and I would love it lol! :D
I'm sorry you had to deal with that kind of person in your life.
Awesome attitude about it, though. ❤
 

DazzlingAnna

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I’ve come across far too many who want you for sex but not for dating, and those who will date you but are still embarrassed or too concerned what other people *might* think. How their actions make you feel doesn’t factor into their thinking. I’m done with putting up with that. I have an ex who would manipulate an argument before we were due to go out with my friends, and would frequently twist things around so it would feel like my fault, even though it wasn’t. Then once things were “resolved” he’d want to go, but I would be such a wreck that I either couldn’t go out, or I’d have a miserable time. It took too long to figure that trap out, and the real kicker is that this is what he did only when it was my friends, who knew I was fat and loved me 🙄🙄 He always felt he could do better because I was fatter than his preference (I was a lot smaller then, too), and let me know.

I want someone who understands the limitations I have without making a big deal of it, and can anticipate what accomodations I’ll need. You want to go for a hike? I’m not your girl. You want to go shopping? Okay, but I will need to sit down to rest my back regularly as we go. Want to go out to eat? Great! Are you familiar with how fat-friendly the seating is? Some things need to be scouted to be sure it’s suitable.

Also, people will stare and wonder why someone like you is with someone like me. They might even make snarky or abusive comments, to me or just in earshot. There will be asses who yell abuse as they drive by. Can you handle that? Can you learn to ignore it? Can your focus be on me/us and not them? Can you stand up to your friends and family when they question why you’re with me?

If all they want is to get off, they can do that without me.
I agree 100% on this.

Be proud of whom you are with regardless other people's opinion.
 

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