The Reality Of Dating An SSBBW

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LunaPlenus

DimensionsModel
Joined
Dec 28, 2020
Messages
53
Location
United States
I’ve come across far too many who want you for sex but not for dating, and those who will date you but are still embarrassed or too concerned what other people *might* think. How their actions make you feel doesn’t factor into their thinking. I’m done with putting up with that. I have an ex who would manipulate an argument before we were due to go out with my friends, and would frequently twist things around so it would feel like my fault, even though it wasn’t. Then once things were “resolved” he’d want to go, but I would be such a wreck that I either couldn’t go out, or I’d have a miserable time. It took too long to figure that trap out, and the real kicker is that this is what he did only when it was my friends, who knew I was fat and loved me 🙄🙄 He always felt he could do better because I was fatter than his preference (I was a lot smaller then, too), and let me know.

I want someone who understands the limitations I have without making a big deal of it, and can anticipate what accomodations I’ll need. You want to go for a hike? I’m not your girl. You want to go shopping? Okay, but I will need to sit down to rest my back regularly as we go. Want to go out to eat? Great! Are you familiar with how fat-friendly the seating is? Some things need to be scouted to be sure it’s suitable.

Also, people will stare and wonder why someone like you is with someone like me. They might even make snarky or abusive comments, to me or just in earshot. There will be asses who yell abuse as they drive by. Can you handle that? Can you learn to ignore it? Can your focus be on me/us and not them? Can you stand up to your friends and family when they question why you’re with me?

If all they want is to get off, they can do that without me.
I think I am more embarrassed about being shown off than my partner ever has been. They try to help me be bolder with how I dress on a regular basis. Like not just wear "fat girl" clothes etc. I can honestly say that they have never been embarrassed by my size, sometimes maybe too proud for my comfort lol.
 

Shotha

DM Supporter
Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
1,200
Location
New Zealand
I don't really need much help, yet anyway, but if I did, I would not be afraid to ask my husband for it. He prefers me to be this size, so he will have to play his part :) Dating I is a different story. I've had a date or two where the person I was with seemed skittish about being seen with me. I didn't put up with it. If I'm good enough for you to want to be intimate with, then I better damn sure be good enough for you to be seen in public with. I'm not a closet lover :D
I've seen this happen so often either to myself or to other large boys and girls. The notion that some guys have, that someone is good enough to have sex with but not good enough to be seen with, is quite abhorrent to me. It was even mentioned in the classic short film Hard Fat. It's about gay men, who are attracted to fat guys, but it's well worth watching if your not gay. These days, if I was dating someone who was ashamed of being seen with me, I would drop them straight away. When someone treats you like that, they are not according you the dignity that every human being deserves.
 

AmyJo1976

SSBBW & FFA
DM Lifetime Supporting Member
DM Supporter
Joined
Dec 7, 2011
Messages
2,630
Location
USA
I think I am more embarrassed about being shown off than my partner ever has been. They try to help me be bolder with how I dress on a regular basis. Like not just wear "fat girl" clothes etc. I can honestly say that they have never been embarrassed by my size, sometimes maybe too proud for my comfort lol.
Be proud girl! Put yourself out there! That's the start to how we change the way things are and make the world a better place for people like us :)
 

Big Booty Brotha

New Member
Joined
Aug 19, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Albany
Fellas, if you are dead serious about dating SSBBW'S like myself please take notes above in regards of car ride accomodations, seat belt extendors, and walking breaks for our body frames. :cool:
I will say this. I’ve never thought about dating a woman if size. My thoughts came to who i was spending time with. I dated from 90 pounds to 535 pounds. Experience were different and attraction was different outside of bug butt. Once i knew i wanted to go out with someone, i would make sure they would be good where we go and how we got there. The 90 pound one would just be on my shoulders at a park concert and we walked miles cause that what she liked to do. A 135 pound sista liked to dance so we would go to a lounge and I’d pick her up. A 300 lb sister with hips galore like to ride and go to bookstores and art galleries but she had strong legs and would walk and when we would go out to eat. We would always get a booth with a movable stable. Movies.... we would go early so we both could get the leg room and end seats. The sista who was the heaviest would always meet me at a location, she had a van and then a SVU. I hated that she was uncomfortable but i made sure wherever we went would be right for her size.... like the pizza parlor had out door steel seating. The coffee shops the same thing..... runway shows and all were held in industrial complexes so we never had to worry about accommodations there. So I’m not a FA but I’m a lover of women with big Butts and that took me from 90 to 535.
 

Mr. Jigglesworth

A true Meatierologist.
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
426
Location
Orlando, Fla.
I'm an ex-Marine and dated a ssbbws while with my unit in El Toro, Ca. Also where I first discovered BBW magazine by Carol Shaw. Others at my base had a term for dating bbws I frowned seriously upon called"feeding the bears". I usually had something to say when it was directed at me & who I was with. Bbws & ssbbws and the rare usbbws rock, I've dated them since H.S.😍😍😍
 

LoveDDD

Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2016
Messages
22
Location
New York, NY
Fellas, if you are dead serious about dating SSBBW'S like myself please take notes above in regards of car ride accomodations, seat belt extendors, and walking breaks for our body frames. :cool:
These strike me as really good posts and a great topic… Personally I have no trouble putting on my seatbelt im most cars however I do have trouble walking more than a few minutes at a time without wanting to rest, and I'm embarrassed to talk about this when thinking of possibly meeting a new man on a dating website…
 

Colonial Warrior

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2016
Messages
1,224
Location
Coamo, Puerto Rico, USA
These strike me as really good posts and a great topic… Personally I have no trouble putting on my seatbelt im most cars however I do have trouble walking more than a few minutes at a time without wanting to rest, and I'm embarrassed to talk about this when thinking of possibly meeting a new man on a dating website…
Don't feel that way. It's very nice to be sincere from the first time. There are a lot of FAs like me who wants to know everything we can before we get decided to answer a personal ad!
 

jmcjmc99

Active Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2021
Messages
33
Location
Earth
It's hard to date as an SSBBW. A lot of people, don't realize the hard work and dedication and loyalty it takes to have a successful and healthy relationship with one. We have a lot of things that we do need help with and we dnt want to settle being with someone who is embarrassed or not willing to put in the time and effort it takes to look after and care for us.
It definitely takes a lot of work and some patience while dating a SSBBW. Too many guys ignore what all has to be done and what the woman needs help with. You can’t be embarrassed about needing a vehicle that will accommodate her or needing seatbelt extenders. Dropping her off at the entrance while you park so she doesn’t have to walk across the whole parking lot. Taking breaks when you do go for a walk because carrying all that weight around everyday isn’t easy. She may need help in the bathroom or while taking a shower. There are not so glamorous things that need to be realized by some of these guys because these beautiful women are more than just fantasy, more than a fetish, and deserve to be appreciated and loved for the people they are.
 

BBWlover14

Member
Joined
May 15, 2011
Messages
17
Location
,
Reading through all these experiences how did everyone meet the significant other or ex? I have a hard time finding a ssbbw or even a bbw lol
 

jello4me

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
235
Location
,
My wife cannot put shoes or socks on any more due to her huge belly. I now do that. And as mentioned above, walks need breaks because she gasps for air. Such is the price for feeding, fattening and a flabulous heavy double belly.
 

jello4me

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
235
Location
,
Reading through all these experiences how did everyone meet the significant other or ex? I have a hard time finding a ssbbw or even a bbw lol
I picked the girl with the widest hips and biggest softest thighs out of a friend group and she has been growing ever since.
 

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