Magic, XXWG, SSBBW - A troll brings back a souvenir from the world of man.
[Authors Note:] I'm on a bit of a roll, don't know how long it will last. Here's my latest new story.
Minnie skipped along to the costume party in her new homemade costume. She was going in cosplay as the Elvin warlock she played in her online game. Long ears, long blond hair flowing freely, her slight frame barely over five feet tall, a cool staff that she decorated with plastic jewelry, a hooded cloak, she was sure to be a big hit. She even had a stiff wire leash that held a vicious looking imp that she bobbed along in front of her like it was alive. She called it her little stinker, due to the smoke that occasionally came off it from the gel she smeared it with now and then.
It was just getting past sunset when she was set to cross the pedestrian bridge and into the next county, from there it was a short walk to the party. She was supposed to meet her online friend Cody here, he was going to be dressed as a troll, and where else do you meet trolls but at a bridge? She never met him before, they went to different colleges, but theyd been friends for awhile. As she stepped onto the small bridge crossing the creek she looked around. The street lights hadnt lit yet, the twilight gloom making it difficult to see. She then heard a deep clanging noise and felt the bridge rumble a moment. Looking across she saw Cody. He was tall, wiry with a pot belly and blue skin. Nice job. Minnie mused as she saw the ogling yellow eyes and the long pointy noise along with the big pointed ears. As he loped on the bridge towards her, she felt that he really captured the awkward apish gait that the trolls had in the game. She only met Cody online, and had been told he was tall, but not like this! He could have played pro basketball! He had to be more than seven feet tall!
As he galloped towards her Minnie became less and less sure that this was Cody, especially when the troll opened its mouth and a long green tongue lolled out of it, trailing back behind him like a dog that was sticking its head out of the window of a moving car. Minnie took a step back. Cody? she asked just as the troll descended on her.
A few minutes later Cody arrived at the bridge. He sported a modified Frankenstein costume to make him look like a troll, to modest effect at best. His skin was a blotchy blue and his rubber monster gloved hands were rather poorly done. He reached into the pocket of his badly tailored hoody and checked the time on his cell phone and to see if there were any messages from Minnie.
What the hell? he asked in frustration, wondering where she could be. Due to the faded light he couldnt see the cheap broken staff she carried that had fallen into the creek and washed onto shore, along with the pointy ears and joke leash that had been discarded.
Minnie woke to foul smells, like an uncleaned mens locker room. It was dim wherever she was, and she found after a moments effort that she was tied up. Her cloak was gone, leaving the simple dress she made for her costume, her costume jewelry and makeup was gone too. The room she was in was very strange. It gave her the feeling of a medieval movie set, like a cave that some hermit lived in. A fire was glowing in a fire pit; there were all kinds of strange decorations and markings on the wall, along with shelves holding jars of unidentifiable things. She struggled some more but it was useless.
Help! Help! Somebody! she called as she continued to struggle, managing to sit up. Her hands were tied behind her back as there were ropes around her ankles and chest. She squirmed and struggled but was unable to do more than that. Then she heard a frightening sound, heavy thudding footsteps towards the only door she could see. It was a tall wooden door with metal bands on it, but was otherwise crudely made. Moments later it was thrown open by the same trollish figure that she fleetingly remembered seeing before she woke up here. Next to him was a smaller version, with skin that looked more yellow, and he was thicker as well with a squat head.
Horrified at the sight, she screamed, Minnie screamed for all she was worth.
See? the tall one said. She not elf! She look like elf when I grab her, but she not elf! the taller one said as he pointed his long crooked finger at her.
The other one nodded vigorously. Thats why I not eat her! She not elf!
Minnie continued to scream, not really comprehending what was being said.
She not elf, then what is she? the other said as he got in closer to look. He was several feet away, and even though he was smaller than the one that captured her, when he bent low to see her it was like a giraffe leaning over a fence. She shrunk back from its foul smell and almost comically stupid and horrible looking face. The other troll pulled him back from her almost possessively and shoved him against the wall.
She Trollwife! he declared, pounding on his chest with one hand while pointing to her with his other. Minnie fainted again at that.
When she woke up Minnie was still in the same room, though now there was more of the troll things, which she knew now were actual trolls. There were tall and skinny ones, short and fat ones, bald ones, ones with wiry hair of every color, those with long noses, some with no noses, blue skin, green skin, yellow skin. They ran the gamut of colors. All were now ogling her. She was too stunned to speak or even scream, she mainly just tried to shrink out of their sight, but she was already backed up against a wall. The trolls made no reaction from her waking, but continued talking in their brainless chattering voices.
She Trollwife? the short yellow one asked.
Who Trollwife? another asked indignantly, as if the question was about him.
She Trollwife! another explained, pointing to Minnie.
She my Trollwife! her captor insisted, thumping his chest again.
She too small! A grossly fat green troll said. Many dundering dander filled heads nodded at this.
Grimgo has Trollwife, she huge! Not like this she puny, another said. Minnie could literally see smoke coming out of her captors ears.
No! he demanded. My Trollwife better! Gradgis Trollwife best! her captor insisted. Well at least she knew the name of her would be Trollhusband. Gradgi make you all see! His Trollwife best! he yelled, shoving away some of the trolls that were leaning in closer to examine Minnie.
But she too small! was the consensus among the trolls. Gradgi turned and quietly looked at Minnie, his bulging eyes narrowing.
Gradgi fix that, he said softly.
Gradgi forced the rest of the trolls out shortly after that and slammed the door on them, all the while muttering Me show them! Me show them, Gradgi have best Trollwife! Biggest Trollwife ever! he continued to mutter after they were gone as he attempted to straighten up the place. Once that was done he took out a large dented pot and hung it over the fireplace fire, then poured water into it that he collected using his filthy boot. From there he cut up large and spoiled looking vegetables, a dead rat, a few rocks, and for seasoning he shook his head over the pot, allowing his dandruff to liberally sprinkle it. Once the contents started to bubble and smoke he took it off the fire, heedless of the sizzling sound it made as the hot handle burned his palm. Minnie was near to vomiting as she watched this. Once the pot was on the makeshift table he reached over and lifted Minnie one handed and flopped her onto a wooden chair at the table and cut her ropes. As she massaged her wrists he turned to get something on a shelf, she was about to get up and make a break for it, but her muscles were sore and weak from lack of use for hours. As she pushed back from the table it creaked and Gradgi turned around and gave her a very menacing stare. Understanding what he meant, she sat quietly. He returned to the table with a crudely carved wooden spoon and bowl and ladled from the stew pot a heaping portion of stewed rat.
It was set down in front of Minnie with a sloshing thump. She stared at it in greater horror than when she first woke up in the Trolls home.
You too small! You eat! Gradgi snarled as he stood to the side of the table. Minnie shook her head. She had enough already.
Youre crazy if you think Im eating this, she said simply, pushing the spoon away. Gradgis eyes narrowed and he snarled as he slammed his hand onto the table, causing the bowls contents to slosh, to her horror she saw the rats desiccated head float to the surface.
You eat! You Trollwife! he demanded. Minnies fear was being replaced by anger as she returned the glare without flinching.
No! Now you listen you stupid troll or whatever the hell you are! I am not your wife, and I am not eating this shit! she yelled and then flipped the bowl over for good measure. Minnie saw a strange reaction on Gradgis face. She expected anger and maybe the end of her life. She did see a brief flash of anger, but then it melted into sadness it seemed. His comically large eyes drooped, and his pointy nose seemed to deflate and get limp as he slumped to the ground, even seated on the floor he was still chest height to the table.
I made that for you? It no good? he asked, snuffling as he wiped his nose. Minnie raised an eyebrow at the sniveling display. What was going on?
No she finally said. Its no good, I cant eat that.
But you my Trollwife, but you puny..! he whined.
Dont say that. Im not your Trollwife. Minnie returned. Gradgi continued to sit and pout while Minnie sat quietly, wondering if she could somehow trick him into letting her go. She finally had what she thought was a decent enough idea, when it seemed that Gradgi got one of his own. It was like watching a cartoon character get an idea, it seemed an actual light bulb went on over his head; his face went from pouting to happy in such a dramatic change. He stood up so quickly he bumped his head on the ceiling.
I know! We see witch! She know what do! Gradgi announced as he grabbed a large brown sack hanging on the wall. He reached for Minnie next who tried scrambling back but was caught in one of his massive hands like he was picking up a kitten.
No wait! Minnie yelled but was popped in the sack and then hoisted over his shoulder. Gradgi walked out of the house with his long loping gait as Minnie tried seeing where she was through a small hole in the sack. They seemed to be in some kind of crude forest village; Of course, where else would they be? she mused. Ill fashioned huts lined the muck filled street and everywhere she saw the gangly and ugly trolls meandering about. Gradgi hurried along for a few moments before he stopped as someone called his name.
Gradgi! That you! came a sneering voice. Gradgi stopped and set the sack down. Minnie immediately tried to work her way out, but the sack was tied from the outside. She managed to see who was talking though. It was a troll with blotchy blue skin, not as tall as Gradgi, but with an even more prominent belly. He wore a greasy stained shirt and apron and sucked on what looked like a small stovepipe, exhaling sooty black smoke through his brown teeth.
Grimgo. Gradgi growled. They need to use different letters for names! Minnie thought as she watched the exchange. Grimgo walked forward, appraising Gradgi, who stiffened at the examination.
Grimgo hear you have Trollwife, he finally said. Gradgi scowled at the smaller troll.
Maybe, he finally said.
Grimgos Trollwife biggest. You know this right? asked Grimgo.
Maybe, Gradgi said as he clenched his hands.
Maybe? Maybe Gradgi need reminder? Grimgo asked, blowing smoke up at Gradgi. Gradgi said nothing. Grimgo looked over his shoulder and called out. Little Wife! Come out, say hi! Minnie wasnt sure what to make of that, but she saw Gradgi stiffen even more. Moments later she felt more than heard a loud thump, followed by another. The thumps became more pronounced and ominous, she literally bounced with each one. Were they footsteps? Minnie struggled to see what was causing them, and then wished she hadnt.
From the direction they came she saw a towering green skinned figure. It was a troll, but a giant of a troll. It stood easily twice as tall as Gradgi, who until now was the tallest shed seen. Perhaps 15 feet tall. It wasnt just tall and gawky, nor did it merely have a pot belly. This creature seemed near to being as wide as it was tall. It was like a frog walking on its hind legs. Despite its incredible height it looked almost squat due to how wide and thick its ponderous belly and torso sat on its short but tree trunk like legs. Its arms were the only thing that didnt seem wide; they were as long as it was tall, seemingly thin and sinewy, ending in a hand that could probably lift a car easily. The worst thing was Minnie could tell this was somehow a female troll. It had floppy misshapen breasts stuffed into a threadbare and filthy gown that it wore. Its mammoth head dropped and had a maw that could swallow a cow whole it seemed. She was breathing heavily and she looked about her as she came into view. Gradgis jaw dropped while Minnie clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. The Little Wife turned about her, looking down for something.
You look tired wife! called Grimgo with a big smile. Sit, rest! I get you some food! His wife looked back at him and nodded in fatigue. She looked behind her at the hut that Gradgi called his home and shrugged her shoulders before flopping her tremendous bulk onto it. It collapsed like it was made of paper and twigs as Gradgis eyes almost bulged out of his head. Simka my wife is biggest prettiest and best Trollwife Gradgi. You remember that, he said. He drew on his stove pipe again and glanced down at the sack Minnie was cowering in. He leaned down and nudged it with his grimy toe and blew smoke at it before standing up to address Gradgi again. You remember, he said as he stepped back and then turned toward his wife. She was picking through the rubble, picking up pieces and sniffing them, then often she ate them, whether it seemed edible or not. Gradgi loudly gulped and picked up Minnie and the sack.
She not biggest for long, Gradgi muttered as he trudged away from his ruined home.
They marched for hours it seemed before they finally stopped. Minnie couldnt tell if Gradgi was taking a break or theyd reached their destination. They seemed to be in some hills, with cliff walls and caves all around them. Minnie could make out one cave with some light coming out of it. Gradgi seemed to be addressing it, getting on one knee before calling out.
Witch! I Gradgi beseech favor from thee! Minnie was amazed that he could actually use a greater variety of words. Gradgi paused for more than a minute before Minnie could see a shadow in the caves light. A womans voice returned.
Gradgi, youve done favors for me in the past, if I can repay you I will. Come in. Gradgi immediately stood up and headed for the cave and then turned back and picked up Minnie and brought her with him into the cave.
Once inside she was plopped onto some straw matting as Gradgi sat across from a woman who seemed to be in shadows to Minnie.
Now, my sweet Gradgi, what can I do for you? came the sweet, even kindly voice of what sounded to be an older woman.
I want Trollwife. Gradgi said simply. Minnie heard the witch laugh.
Sorry sweetie, thats not the favor I had in mind. Gradgi didnt seem to understand the joke and reached over and picked up the sack, undoing the thongs and pulling it down to reveal Minnie.
No! I want this my Trollwife! he declared, displaying the disheveled Minnie with pride. It was not one of her better entrances.
The witch turned out to be a gray haired middle aged woman wearing what seemed to be medieval style peasants clothes. Drab grays and browns, a homespun apron and a wimple on her head. No green skin, just a slight mole on her cheek. She smiled in pleasant surprise at the revelation of Minnie. Hi dearie, Im Magda, she said holding out her hand. Minnie took it nervously.
Im Minnie. She finally said after letting Magdas hand go. Magda sniffed the palm she shook Minnies hand with and seemed to try and place the scent. Minnie was tempted to do the same, but decided not to.
Youre not from around here, Magda finally said. Gradgi stayed quiet, not likely understanding even the simple phrases. You brought her back from the World of Men didnt you Gradgi?
Yes. She look like elf, so I grab her, when I bring her back she this, He finally managed to explain.
I see. And now you want to make her your Trollwife? asked Magda.
She is my Trollwife! he insisted. Minnie shook her head vehemently no.
Look! You seem to know whats going on here! Just send me home! Cant you just send me home? she whined. Magda shook her head.
Im afraid not child. Trolls can sometimes cross into your land, and they can sometimes bring things back. But they cant cross back to your land with you. And you and I do not have the ability. Im afraid youre stuck here. Magda said with a hint of sympathy.
But I dont want to be here! Im in college! I have a boyfriend! she wailed. Gradgis eyes narrowed at that, but he soon forgot.
Magda she my Trollwife but other trolls say Gradgi said with plenty of starts and stops. Magda finished for him.
They said shes too small, too puny. Theyre right. Magda agreed as she looked closer at Minnie. She was five feet two inches tall and weighed in at a miniscule 88 pounds. The other trolls wont treat her as your wife they wont see her as one. They might see her as a threat or a snack, thats it. Gradgi was nodding vigorously while tears sprung in Minnies eyes.
Yes! She too small! But she wont eat! Gradgi said. Actually Minnie was famished, but there was no way she was hungry enough to eat the slop that Trolls ate. Magda reached across and patted Gradgis hand.
Gradgi, shes from the world of men. She needs people food. Gradgi stood up at that, the light of an idea turning on again.
I get her people to eat! he announced and was about to turn and bound out the door, presumably to find people for Minnie to cannibalize. Both Magda and Minnie shouted No! and managed to stop him from leaving.
No Gradgi, she needs the food that people eat. Which is in short supply around here. Gradgi sat down again, looking pouty and sullen as before. But I happen to have something that can help out. Magda said as turned around and opened a wooden chest. She fumbled around through various cloths, trinkets, and vials before coming up with what seemed to be a simple leather pouch, about the size of a large purse from the world of men Minnie thought. This Gradgi, can make any food that the person holding it could want. Gradgi pointed at it with a shuddering and crooked claw.
Even even people food? he asked hopefully.
Especially people food. Magda insisted. Here dearie. You look famished. Try it. Take the pouch, hold it, think of what you want to eat and then reach in and pull it out. Minnie was indeed starving, but she paused. Gradgi yanked the pouch from Magda and thrust it into Minnies hands.
Yes! You try! Think what you want! commanded the eager troll. Minnie was too stunned to even try anything, but her hunger and the command caused her to inadvertently think of something she really had a taste for a double cheeseburger from McBurgers. The pouch was empty when it was forced on her, now though she could swear she felt something in it. A square object, bigger than her hands. Magda simply smiled as Gradgi clapped his massive hands. You take out! Eat! he happily demanded.
[Authors Note:] I'm on a bit of a roll, don't know how long it will last. Here's my latest new story.
The Trolls Wife
By J.P.
By J.P.
Minnie skipped along to the costume party in her new homemade costume. She was going in cosplay as the Elvin warlock she played in her online game. Long ears, long blond hair flowing freely, her slight frame barely over five feet tall, a cool staff that she decorated with plastic jewelry, a hooded cloak, she was sure to be a big hit. She even had a stiff wire leash that held a vicious looking imp that she bobbed along in front of her like it was alive. She called it her little stinker, due to the smoke that occasionally came off it from the gel she smeared it with now and then.
It was just getting past sunset when she was set to cross the pedestrian bridge and into the next county, from there it was a short walk to the party. She was supposed to meet her online friend Cody here, he was going to be dressed as a troll, and where else do you meet trolls but at a bridge? She never met him before, they went to different colleges, but theyd been friends for awhile. As she stepped onto the small bridge crossing the creek she looked around. The street lights hadnt lit yet, the twilight gloom making it difficult to see. She then heard a deep clanging noise and felt the bridge rumble a moment. Looking across she saw Cody. He was tall, wiry with a pot belly and blue skin. Nice job. Minnie mused as she saw the ogling yellow eyes and the long pointy noise along with the big pointed ears. As he loped on the bridge towards her, she felt that he really captured the awkward apish gait that the trolls had in the game. She only met Cody online, and had been told he was tall, but not like this! He could have played pro basketball! He had to be more than seven feet tall!
As he galloped towards her Minnie became less and less sure that this was Cody, especially when the troll opened its mouth and a long green tongue lolled out of it, trailing back behind him like a dog that was sticking its head out of the window of a moving car. Minnie took a step back. Cody? she asked just as the troll descended on her.
A few minutes later Cody arrived at the bridge. He sported a modified Frankenstein costume to make him look like a troll, to modest effect at best. His skin was a blotchy blue and his rubber monster gloved hands were rather poorly done. He reached into the pocket of his badly tailored hoody and checked the time on his cell phone and to see if there were any messages from Minnie.
What the hell? he asked in frustration, wondering where she could be. Due to the faded light he couldnt see the cheap broken staff she carried that had fallen into the creek and washed onto shore, along with the pointy ears and joke leash that had been discarded.
Minnie woke to foul smells, like an uncleaned mens locker room. It was dim wherever she was, and she found after a moments effort that she was tied up. Her cloak was gone, leaving the simple dress she made for her costume, her costume jewelry and makeup was gone too. The room she was in was very strange. It gave her the feeling of a medieval movie set, like a cave that some hermit lived in. A fire was glowing in a fire pit; there were all kinds of strange decorations and markings on the wall, along with shelves holding jars of unidentifiable things. She struggled some more but it was useless.
Help! Help! Somebody! she called as she continued to struggle, managing to sit up. Her hands were tied behind her back as there were ropes around her ankles and chest. She squirmed and struggled but was unable to do more than that. Then she heard a frightening sound, heavy thudding footsteps towards the only door she could see. It was a tall wooden door with metal bands on it, but was otherwise crudely made. Moments later it was thrown open by the same trollish figure that she fleetingly remembered seeing before she woke up here. Next to him was a smaller version, with skin that looked more yellow, and he was thicker as well with a squat head.
Horrified at the sight, she screamed, Minnie screamed for all she was worth.
See? the tall one said. She not elf! She look like elf when I grab her, but she not elf! the taller one said as he pointed his long crooked finger at her.
The other one nodded vigorously. Thats why I not eat her! She not elf!
Minnie continued to scream, not really comprehending what was being said.
She not elf, then what is she? the other said as he got in closer to look. He was several feet away, and even though he was smaller than the one that captured her, when he bent low to see her it was like a giraffe leaning over a fence. She shrunk back from its foul smell and almost comically stupid and horrible looking face. The other troll pulled him back from her almost possessively and shoved him against the wall.
She Trollwife! he declared, pounding on his chest with one hand while pointing to her with his other. Minnie fainted again at that.
When she woke up Minnie was still in the same room, though now there was more of the troll things, which she knew now were actual trolls. There were tall and skinny ones, short and fat ones, bald ones, ones with wiry hair of every color, those with long noses, some with no noses, blue skin, green skin, yellow skin. They ran the gamut of colors. All were now ogling her. She was too stunned to speak or even scream, she mainly just tried to shrink out of their sight, but she was already backed up against a wall. The trolls made no reaction from her waking, but continued talking in their brainless chattering voices.
She Trollwife? the short yellow one asked.
Who Trollwife? another asked indignantly, as if the question was about him.
She Trollwife! another explained, pointing to Minnie.
She my Trollwife! her captor insisted, thumping his chest again.
She too small! A grossly fat green troll said. Many dundering dander filled heads nodded at this.
Grimgo has Trollwife, she huge! Not like this she puny, another said. Minnie could literally see smoke coming out of her captors ears.
No! he demanded. My Trollwife better! Gradgis Trollwife best! her captor insisted. Well at least she knew the name of her would be Trollhusband. Gradgi make you all see! His Trollwife best! he yelled, shoving away some of the trolls that were leaning in closer to examine Minnie.
But she too small! was the consensus among the trolls. Gradgi turned and quietly looked at Minnie, his bulging eyes narrowing.
Gradgi fix that, he said softly.
Gradgi forced the rest of the trolls out shortly after that and slammed the door on them, all the while muttering Me show them! Me show them, Gradgi have best Trollwife! Biggest Trollwife ever! he continued to mutter after they were gone as he attempted to straighten up the place. Once that was done he took out a large dented pot and hung it over the fireplace fire, then poured water into it that he collected using his filthy boot. From there he cut up large and spoiled looking vegetables, a dead rat, a few rocks, and for seasoning he shook his head over the pot, allowing his dandruff to liberally sprinkle it. Once the contents started to bubble and smoke he took it off the fire, heedless of the sizzling sound it made as the hot handle burned his palm. Minnie was near to vomiting as she watched this. Once the pot was on the makeshift table he reached over and lifted Minnie one handed and flopped her onto a wooden chair at the table and cut her ropes. As she massaged her wrists he turned to get something on a shelf, she was about to get up and make a break for it, but her muscles were sore and weak from lack of use for hours. As she pushed back from the table it creaked and Gradgi turned around and gave her a very menacing stare. Understanding what he meant, she sat quietly. He returned to the table with a crudely carved wooden spoon and bowl and ladled from the stew pot a heaping portion of stewed rat.
It was set down in front of Minnie with a sloshing thump. She stared at it in greater horror than when she first woke up in the Trolls home.
You too small! You eat! Gradgi snarled as he stood to the side of the table. Minnie shook her head. She had enough already.
Youre crazy if you think Im eating this, she said simply, pushing the spoon away. Gradgis eyes narrowed and he snarled as he slammed his hand onto the table, causing the bowls contents to slosh, to her horror she saw the rats desiccated head float to the surface.
You eat! You Trollwife! he demanded. Minnies fear was being replaced by anger as she returned the glare without flinching.
No! Now you listen you stupid troll or whatever the hell you are! I am not your wife, and I am not eating this shit! she yelled and then flipped the bowl over for good measure. Minnie saw a strange reaction on Gradgis face. She expected anger and maybe the end of her life. She did see a brief flash of anger, but then it melted into sadness it seemed. His comically large eyes drooped, and his pointy nose seemed to deflate and get limp as he slumped to the ground, even seated on the floor he was still chest height to the table.
I made that for you? It no good? he asked, snuffling as he wiped his nose. Minnie raised an eyebrow at the sniveling display. What was going on?
No she finally said. Its no good, I cant eat that.
But you my Trollwife, but you puny..! he whined.
Dont say that. Im not your Trollwife. Minnie returned. Gradgi continued to sit and pout while Minnie sat quietly, wondering if she could somehow trick him into letting her go. She finally had what she thought was a decent enough idea, when it seemed that Gradgi got one of his own. It was like watching a cartoon character get an idea, it seemed an actual light bulb went on over his head; his face went from pouting to happy in such a dramatic change. He stood up so quickly he bumped his head on the ceiling.
I know! We see witch! She know what do! Gradgi announced as he grabbed a large brown sack hanging on the wall. He reached for Minnie next who tried scrambling back but was caught in one of his massive hands like he was picking up a kitten.
No wait! Minnie yelled but was popped in the sack and then hoisted over his shoulder. Gradgi walked out of the house with his long loping gait as Minnie tried seeing where she was through a small hole in the sack. They seemed to be in some kind of crude forest village; Of course, where else would they be? she mused. Ill fashioned huts lined the muck filled street and everywhere she saw the gangly and ugly trolls meandering about. Gradgi hurried along for a few moments before he stopped as someone called his name.
Gradgi! That you! came a sneering voice. Gradgi stopped and set the sack down. Minnie immediately tried to work her way out, but the sack was tied from the outside. She managed to see who was talking though. It was a troll with blotchy blue skin, not as tall as Gradgi, but with an even more prominent belly. He wore a greasy stained shirt and apron and sucked on what looked like a small stovepipe, exhaling sooty black smoke through his brown teeth.
Grimgo. Gradgi growled. They need to use different letters for names! Minnie thought as she watched the exchange. Grimgo walked forward, appraising Gradgi, who stiffened at the examination.
Grimgo hear you have Trollwife, he finally said. Gradgi scowled at the smaller troll.
Maybe, he finally said.
Grimgos Trollwife biggest. You know this right? asked Grimgo.
Maybe, Gradgi said as he clenched his hands.
Maybe? Maybe Gradgi need reminder? Grimgo asked, blowing smoke up at Gradgi. Gradgi said nothing. Grimgo looked over his shoulder and called out. Little Wife! Come out, say hi! Minnie wasnt sure what to make of that, but she saw Gradgi stiffen even more. Moments later she felt more than heard a loud thump, followed by another. The thumps became more pronounced and ominous, she literally bounced with each one. Were they footsteps? Minnie struggled to see what was causing them, and then wished she hadnt.
From the direction they came she saw a towering green skinned figure. It was a troll, but a giant of a troll. It stood easily twice as tall as Gradgi, who until now was the tallest shed seen. Perhaps 15 feet tall. It wasnt just tall and gawky, nor did it merely have a pot belly. This creature seemed near to being as wide as it was tall. It was like a frog walking on its hind legs. Despite its incredible height it looked almost squat due to how wide and thick its ponderous belly and torso sat on its short but tree trunk like legs. Its arms were the only thing that didnt seem wide; they were as long as it was tall, seemingly thin and sinewy, ending in a hand that could probably lift a car easily. The worst thing was Minnie could tell this was somehow a female troll. It had floppy misshapen breasts stuffed into a threadbare and filthy gown that it wore. Its mammoth head dropped and had a maw that could swallow a cow whole it seemed. She was breathing heavily and she looked about her as she came into view. Gradgis jaw dropped while Minnie clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. The Little Wife turned about her, looking down for something.
You look tired wife! called Grimgo with a big smile. Sit, rest! I get you some food! His wife looked back at him and nodded in fatigue. She looked behind her at the hut that Gradgi called his home and shrugged her shoulders before flopping her tremendous bulk onto it. It collapsed like it was made of paper and twigs as Gradgis eyes almost bulged out of his head. Simka my wife is biggest prettiest and best Trollwife Gradgi. You remember that, he said. He drew on his stove pipe again and glanced down at the sack Minnie was cowering in. He leaned down and nudged it with his grimy toe and blew smoke at it before standing up to address Gradgi again. You remember, he said as he stepped back and then turned toward his wife. She was picking through the rubble, picking up pieces and sniffing them, then often she ate them, whether it seemed edible or not. Gradgi loudly gulped and picked up Minnie and the sack.
She not biggest for long, Gradgi muttered as he trudged away from his ruined home.
They marched for hours it seemed before they finally stopped. Minnie couldnt tell if Gradgi was taking a break or theyd reached their destination. They seemed to be in some hills, with cliff walls and caves all around them. Minnie could make out one cave with some light coming out of it. Gradgi seemed to be addressing it, getting on one knee before calling out.
Witch! I Gradgi beseech favor from thee! Minnie was amazed that he could actually use a greater variety of words. Gradgi paused for more than a minute before Minnie could see a shadow in the caves light. A womans voice returned.
Gradgi, youve done favors for me in the past, if I can repay you I will. Come in. Gradgi immediately stood up and headed for the cave and then turned back and picked up Minnie and brought her with him into the cave.
Once inside she was plopped onto some straw matting as Gradgi sat across from a woman who seemed to be in shadows to Minnie.
Now, my sweet Gradgi, what can I do for you? came the sweet, even kindly voice of what sounded to be an older woman.
I want Trollwife. Gradgi said simply. Minnie heard the witch laugh.
Sorry sweetie, thats not the favor I had in mind. Gradgi didnt seem to understand the joke and reached over and picked up the sack, undoing the thongs and pulling it down to reveal Minnie.
No! I want this my Trollwife! he declared, displaying the disheveled Minnie with pride. It was not one of her better entrances.
The witch turned out to be a gray haired middle aged woman wearing what seemed to be medieval style peasants clothes. Drab grays and browns, a homespun apron and a wimple on her head. No green skin, just a slight mole on her cheek. She smiled in pleasant surprise at the revelation of Minnie. Hi dearie, Im Magda, she said holding out her hand. Minnie took it nervously.
Im Minnie. She finally said after letting Magdas hand go. Magda sniffed the palm she shook Minnies hand with and seemed to try and place the scent. Minnie was tempted to do the same, but decided not to.
Youre not from around here, Magda finally said. Gradgi stayed quiet, not likely understanding even the simple phrases. You brought her back from the World of Men didnt you Gradgi?
Yes. She look like elf, so I grab her, when I bring her back she this, He finally managed to explain.
I see. And now you want to make her your Trollwife? asked Magda.
She is my Trollwife! he insisted. Minnie shook her head vehemently no.
Look! You seem to know whats going on here! Just send me home! Cant you just send me home? she whined. Magda shook her head.
Im afraid not child. Trolls can sometimes cross into your land, and they can sometimes bring things back. But they cant cross back to your land with you. And you and I do not have the ability. Im afraid youre stuck here. Magda said with a hint of sympathy.
But I dont want to be here! Im in college! I have a boyfriend! she wailed. Gradgis eyes narrowed at that, but he soon forgot.
Magda she my Trollwife but other trolls say Gradgi said with plenty of starts and stops. Magda finished for him.
They said shes too small, too puny. Theyre right. Magda agreed as she looked closer at Minnie. She was five feet two inches tall and weighed in at a miniscule 88 pounds. The other trolls wont treat her as your wife they wont see her as one. They might see her as a threat or a snack, thats it. Gradgi was nodding vigorously while tears sprung in Minnies eyes.
Yes! She too small! But she wont eat! Gradgi said. Actually Minnie was famished, but there was no way she was hungry enough to eat the slop that Trolls ate. Magda reached across and patted Gradgis hand.
Gradgi, shes from the world of men. She needs people food. Gradgi stood up at that, the light of an idea turning on again.
I get her people to eat! he announced and was about to turn and bound out the door, presumably to find people for Minnie to cannibalize. Both Magda and Minnie shouted No! and managed to stop him from leaving.
No Gradgi, she needs the food that people eat. Which is in short supply around here. Gradgi sat down again, looking pouty and sullen as before. But I happen to have something that can help out. Magda said as turned around and opened a wooden chest. She fumbled around through various cloths, trinkets, and vials before coming up with what seemed to be a simple leather pouch, about the size of a large purse from the world of men Minnie thought. This Gradgi, can make any food that the person holding it could want. Gradgi pointed at it with a shuddering and crooked claw.
Even even people food? he asked hopefully.
Especially people food. Magda insisted. Here dearie. You look famished. Try it. Take the pouch, hold it, think of what you want to eat and then reach in and pull it out. Minnie was indeed starving, but she paused. Gradgi yanked the pouch from Magda and thrust it into Minnies hands.
Yes! You try! Think what you want! commanded the eager troll. Minnie was too stunned to even try anything, but her hunger and the command caused her to inadvertently think of something she really had a taste for a double cheeseburger from McBurgers. The pouch was empty when it was forced on her, now though she could swear she felt something in it. A square object, bigger than her hands. Magda simply smiled as Gradgi clapped his massive hands. You take out! Eat! he happily demanded.
