The wrong type of 'fat'?

Discussion in 'BHM/FFA' started by Maize, May 31, 2018.

  1. May 31, 2018 #1

    Maize

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    One thing that I've run into in the past is that it seems like I'm the wrong kind of 'fat' for a lot of people who like fat men.

    In particular, a lot of people seem to be really focused on the single big, round Buddha belly, and although not always, they also often prefer a less fat rest-of-the-body with more focus on a thin or build or "Dad Bod" physique coupled with a massive, nearly-spherical belly.

    I'm fat all over (possibly because I've just always been fat, rather than it being a side-effect of intentional weight gain), and I have to wear my pants over my belly rather than under, so I have a sort of "double belly" look rather than a single large, round belly. Also, my presentation varies anywhere between "business casual" and "quirky femme-ey nerd", so I don't really channel the lumberjack or biker vibes much.

    If you like fat men, is there a specific 'type' of fat men that you like, or just anybody of considerable size?
     
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  2. May 31, 2018 #2

    loopytheone

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    Well, I can appreciate people of any shape and size, I think the variation in bodies, especially fat ones, is incredible.

    For what it is worth though, I strongly prefer guys that are fat all over. I love bellies, and I tend to prefer single ones, but my ideal is a person that is well balanced and soft and fat all over. I mean, I love fat fluffy arms, thick thighs, big butts etc etc. The whole lumberjack/biker vibe that some people go for isn't to my taste either. I mean, the people who like that look and rock it look lovely and I'm glad they are comfortable and appreciated in their aesthetics. But I guess I tend to go for a 'boy next door' type of look? Clean and casual. Nerdy things are always appreciated though! I'm a huge nerd so it's kinda a given for me that my partner be as well!

    I know what you mean about being the wrong 'type' of fat for a lot of people though. I'm a girl and I'm big all over, without the thick dramatic curves the famous models tend to have; no exaggerated hips or breasts or tiny waist.
     
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  3. May 31, 2018 #3

    LeoGibson

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    Honestly I think it’s all about personal preference really. I think just like it breaks down in the non-fat world about liking this one because of their swimmers body, or that one because of their muscles it’s the same in the fat world. For some yes you’ll be the wrong kind of fat for their preference and for others perfect and for a lot it will just be enough that you’re fat, then it’s up to who you are as a person. I can look at myself as a good example of that. I’m not what most would call attractive, but I have a certain look about me and while many women aren’t into it, those that are, they’re very much into it. Like the old expression goes, you might not be someone’s cup of tea, but you just might be someone else’s shot of whiskey!
     
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  4. May 31, 2018 #4

    DragonFly

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    I’ve often felt like I am the wrong kind of fat... just like you said. I think it happens on both sides of the spectrum. I admit I do have a soft spot for the all over big guys. I can appreciate the big round belly, but the all over big is my preference. Interesting thoughts.
     
  5. Jun 2, 2018 #5

    Tad

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    For sure not all people who like fat partners are attracted to all fat people -- we all have our preferences :) When it comes to guys though, in my mind the two big dominant axis for mapping attraction are how much the admirer wants 'big' and how they feel about soft versus hard. Some FFA (and gay/bi male FA) seem to like fat as one component of being big and burly, (but typically also want some degree of height, wider shoulders, deeper chest, etc as part of the mix). And some seem to like the 'hard fat' that you described with the ball belly and less fat elsewhere, while others really like softness. Those seem to be the two dimensions where I most often hear someone liking one end of the scale but not the other.
     
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  6. Jun 3, 2018 #6

    lille

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    As Tad said, everyone has a slightly different preference just like people who are into thinner people also prefer certain body types over others. I personally prefer soft all over.
     
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  7. Jun 3, 2018 #7

    hommecreux

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    I'm pretty self conscious about this too. Being fluffy all over makes me happy, but I think that I've just had to accept that certain people like certain things aesthetically and if they don't like me for who/what I am or look like, I can't do anything to change that. It is pretty frustrating though.
     
  8. Jun 3, 2018 #8

    clockworklove

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    There are always lots of people that like what you're rocking, no matter where you are on the 'type of fat' spectrum. I personally love that 'soft fat all over' build, and I feel like a decent amount of FFA fiction represents that type of body!
     
  9. Jun 3, 2018 #9

    DragonFly

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    I agree with that. My love ( passed away) was big all over and a belly. I guess the best of both worlds. I just loved his squishy sides, and legs.
     
  10. Jun 4, 2018 #10

    AmyJo1976

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    Sounds like we share the same tastes girl! :)
     
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  11. Jun 6, 2018 #11

    DragonFly

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    I bet we do! Love that type. They make me smile.
     
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  12. Jun 6, 2018 #12

    ODFFA

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    Another thing worth pointing out here is that the dad bod preference has become a lot more mainstream-acceptable in recent years. I've seen a surprising number of women admit to it very publicly. Not so much with the soft-all-over preference. Which may explain why, "out in the world," you're more likely to come by admissions of dad bod attraction. And you can probably see from the posts above... the scales miiiight be tipped a bit more to the soft-all-over side on a community like this one.

    There are more of us out there, I promise. I recently stumbled upon one of my classmates' engagement pics on facebook and was delighted to see her with a handsome all-over BHM. And the attraction was clear ^_^
     
  13. Jun 8, 2018 #13

    squeezablysoft

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    It seems to me that fat ppl vary more than slim ppl in terms of body shape. One reason why finding well-fitting clothes is harder when you're heavier. Like, shopping for jeans always leads to a nervous breakdown for me because I can never seem to find a pair where the leg length, waist size and hip size are all in sync with my measurements. So I can well imagine that there are preferences for different types of fat bodies amongst FA/FFA.

    Personally I'm definitely into the big and soft and cuddly all over look, really every part of a person being fat is a turn on for me. Big butts are probably my most favorite but I know ppl who prefer those who just have a belly on an otherwise slim or somewhat muscular frame. And of course loads of guys like an otherwise thin girl who just has big boobs and/or big booty, but can't stand the thought of a girl with a round belly.
     
  14. Jun 10, 2018 #14

    agouderia

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    Maize - what you need to consider is also the issue of basic biologic patterns, which despite all effects of modern civilization still play, naturally not an exclusive one, in mating.

    Most men still want their women smaller than they are - and vice-versa. Men are more likely to be sexually aroused by women with broad hips - signifiying fertility - when they are hungry. Women choose men with broaderer shoulders during their fertile days of the month in tests.

    If you read through the - much more extensive SS/BBW pages here, you will find way more expressed fans of shorts pears - as body type - than of tall, apple-shaped valkyries.

    F/FA-dom most likely opens the minds of people for attractiveness in a much broader range of body-shapes - but it doesn't overcome all basic ingrained biological stereotypes.
     
  15. Jun 13, 2018 #15

    hutti

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    I love you kiss and hugs,,,
     
  16. Jun 13, 2018 #16

    BigElectricKat

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    Now I'm beginning to understand. Maybe it's my body type that puts people off. (or possibly some other factor)
     
  17. Jun 13, 2018 #17

    Maize

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    nick-young-confused-face-300x256_nqlyaa.jpg
     
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  18. Jun 14, 2018 #18

    BountifulBabs

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    I've dated both kinds of BHM that you described. I do prefer big all over, but I'm open minded. My ex was big all over and he had most fantastic legs, so big. He always wore pants so I never saw them before the first time we were intimate. I was blown away. I also like wide and soft backs and chests. There's something about being hugged by an all over big man that I love.
     
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  19. Jun 14, 2018 #19

    LifelongFA

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    I love the variety - no two people carry it the same. Similar sometimes, but always fun adventures exploring and appreciating the uniqueness of each of us
     
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  20. Jun 15, 2018 #20

    ChubbyPear

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    I tend to be the "wrong" type too. I'm a VERY pronounced pear. I have huge hips, butt, thighs, and a bit of belly but I'm almost flat chested. It seems most of the guys who like big women are really attracted to huge boobs, and I just didn't win that particular lotto...
     
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