Things to consider about FAs:

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bigplaidpants

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5)? Don't assume that an 'out' FA doesn't know about predjudice or sympathize with being a BBW, especially since the FA once had the opportunity to 'hide'. It's kind of a smack in the face.
I am confused by this post. Please explain further what you are saying in it. What is a smack in the face?? That the FA often doesn't sympathize with the burden associated with being fat in a fat-phobic society?
Thanks, Waldo.

LittleG, plz say more. This thread has a good amount of thought-out and heartfelt discussion in it. If you flesh it out and say a little more, I think it'd help.

I see this argument quite often that FAs have the advantage of being able to 'hide' our attraction to fat women. In reality, I wonder how much of an advantage this really is. Locking up an important part of oneself inside is not an emotionally healthy situation and the burden of misrepresenting who you are takes a toll with time. And many FAs never really deal with this issue or do so only when much older thus resulting in many unfulfilling, wasted years. Or worse, hook up with fat women only on the sly - I wonder how many guys who do that are really happy with themselves or wish they had the strength to do better and be fully open about themselves. I'm not looking to start an FA pity party here as some might assume, just pointing out that we have our difficulties too, as some have already discussed earlier in this thread.
Well said. Second. And, you're right. There's no need for a pity-party. FA's just have their sexual/erotic "stuff" like others do. Two suppressed, unexplored, or "hiding" sexual souls don't make for a "right" relationship no matter how you cut it. Self-discovery is work, unless you mindlessly buy the sexual world Hollywood's dishin'. We all have our own "stuff," and as I've seen many times on these boards, sometimes the FA/BBW aspect of them simply channels or shapes ole' gender stuff in new exotic wrapping.
 

stan_der_man

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5)? Don't assume that an 'out' FA doesn't know about predjudice or sympathize with being a BBW, especially since the FA once had the opportunity to 'hide'. It's kind of a smack in the face.
Thanks, Waldo.

LittleG, plz say more. This thread has a good amount of thought-out and heartfelt discussion in it. If you flesh it out and say a little more, I think it'd help.
...
I've been thinking about the whole FA thing, the issues that we deal with, about our own acceptance, and how our preferences and self acceptance are intertwined with the self acceptance of the fat people that we admire.

I recently posted in this thread: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23807
In my last comment of this thread... http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=461401&postcount=86 I realized that I was taking a swipe at a fellow FA for (ineptly, as I accused him..) supporting fat women. In some ways I regret my comments because as an FA, I should be supporting my brethren, but at the same time if an FA so utterly creates a situation that stirs up the hornets nest of self acceptance issues (for fat people) and makes things worse, it only puts the cause of size acceptance (and acceptance of those who admire fat people) a step backwards. Maybe as FAs we should only concentrate on our cause, that of the acceptance of fat admirers, and just leave the whole NAAFA / fat acceptance thing to the people who are affected (fat people)? My past experience with NAAFA has been lukewarm support of (thin) FAs at best, maybe things have changed, it's been a while. I am a card carrying NAAFA member regardless, I still believe in the cause as a whole but maybe somebody like me isn't a good advocate for fat people, only for FAs. Maybe having (thin) FAs advocate size acceptance is like having a white guy support the Black Panthers; we are just setting ourselves up for a flogging if someone we support gets slighted. Maybe we should be narrower in our scope of advocacy and only concentrate on FAs?

Just some thoughts...

Stan
 

alienlanes

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Fascinating thread! Thanks for bumping it, ekmanifest.

Well said. Second. And, you're right. There's no need for a pity-party. FA's just have their sexual/erotic "stuff" like others do. Two suppressed, unexplored, or "hiding" sexual souls don't make for a "right" relationship no matter how you cut it. Self-discovery is work, unless you mindlessly buy the sexual world Hollywood's dishin'. We all have our own "stuff," and as I've seen many times on these boards, sometimes the FA/BBW aspect of them simply channels or shapes ole' gender stuff in new exotic wrapping.
I've been thinking about the whole FA thing, the issues that we deal with, about our own acceptance, and how our preferences and self acceptance are intertwined with the self acceptance of the fat people that we admire.

I recently posted in this thread: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23807
In my last comment of this thread... http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=461401&postcount=86 I realized that I was taking a swipe at a fellow FA for (ineptly, as I accused him..) supporting fat women. In some ways I regret my comments because as an FA, I should be supporting my brethren, but at the same time if an FA so utterly creates a situation that stirs up the hornets nest of self acceptance issues (for fat people) and makes things worse, it only puts the cause of size acceptance (and acceptance of those who admire fat people) a step backwards. Maybe as FAs we should only concentrate on our cause, that of the acceptance of fat admirers, and just leave the whole NAAFA / fat acceptance thing to the people who are affected (fat people)? My past experience with NAAFA has been lukewarm support of (thin) FAs at best, maybe things have changed, it's been a while. I am a card carrying NAAFA member regardless, I still believe in the cause as a whole but maybe somebody like me isn't a good advocate for fat people, only for FAs. Maybe having (thin) FAs advocate size acceptance is like having a white guy support the Black Panthers; we are just setting ourselves up for a flogging if someone we support gets slighted. Maybe we should be narrower in our scope of advocacy and only concentrate on FAs?

Just some thoughts...

Stan
Well said, BPP and Stan, and emphatically agreed with! These are good points which I think are worth developing. I tend to consider having discussions like these in a public forum to be something that we as FAs can do for "the cause", because (I hope!) they help lurking/closeted FAs come to terms with their own issues, but now that I think about it, this doesn't really have as much to do with "size acceptance" as it does with "sexuality acceptance". Most of what I post whenever the subject of feederism comes up, for example, boils down to "don't be ashamed of your desires, but always be safe and consensual," which is no different from what I'd say to a newbie if this were a BDSM board or whatever.

I believe very strongly in the importance of sexual self-acceptance. Repressed desires can do a lot of psychological and emotional damage, and IMHO, sexual fear and shame are some of the most powerful psychological weapons by which "the system" keeps people in line. But this doesn't have anything to do with fat per se -- like BPP said, a lot of this is generalized gender stuff which just happens, in these particular cases, to involve fat.

The threads that come up every few weeks about "secret feeders", "you'd look so much better with a few more pounds", "how can I get my wife to gain weight," et cetera strike me as an example of this. This is just brainstorming here, but I wonder: if someone isn't comfortable with their own sexual desires, could dehumanizing their partner be a defense mechanism to avoid confronting their anxiety over their own sexual fantasies? If someone is horrified and frightened by the fact that they're attracted to supersized people or fantasize about extreme WG, they're less likely to share these fantasies with their partner and work out a healthy, consensual way of dealing with them. Whereas if they accept without guilt or anxiety that they have "weird" desires, they can find a more healthy and balanced place for them in their romantic/sexual lives.

But at the same time, as out FAs who have or want to have fat partners, we can't avoid being involved in size acceptance issues. Certainly those of us who are thin should be supportive of our partners (and of our other friends in the community) in their struggles. But I don't know what the best way might be to go about this.

IMHO, the first step, and the one which only we can take, is to educate other FAs about learning to accept themselves and their desires. Then the second step would be to teach them how to be supportive of fat people in their self-acceptance struggles. I don't have any practical suggestions about this stage. The best thing to do might just be to ask our favorite BBWs and BHMs: what can we as FAs/FFAs do to be allies in the cause of size acceptance?

Although Step Two, Lesson #1 practically writes itself: "Never tell a woman 'you look hot, it's a shame you don't dress better.'" :rolleyes:...
 

Caligula

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3.) Just because a man is an FA don't automatically assume that he will find you attractive. Not all 'normal' men fancy all 'normal' sized girls. So don't accuse them of not being a 'real' FA if they don't fancy you. (Yes, I've seen this happen)
For serious! This is the main thing...I have incredibly high standards. The one friend I have that knows I dig fat chicks (as well as thin chicks) always points out every disgustingly ugly fat gal on the planet to me. I'm like "bro.....just because I dig fat chicks doesn't mean my picky (like Jerry Seinfeld picky) self is gone!"
 

Littleghost

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My apologies for the inproper explanation. What I meant is, that there are FAs that are 'out', with their preference fully known to others around them and are not ashamed; make no attempt to hide it, and then there are FAs that are more "in the closet." They are secret FAs and only exercise this part of their lives when it's convenient.

Sometimes the 'out' FAs get lumped in with 'closet' FAs and are critised unjustly for 'having it easy' while not being sympathetic or appreciative of what it's like to be a (SS)BBW socially, physically, mentally and emotionally in the society that we live in. In other words, FAs sometimes come across the attitude that we have all the privledges, while none of the responsibilities or grief that (SS)BBWs experience and that FAs don't fully appreciate this situation.

I find that just as not all FAs are not feeders, not all FAs are closeted, and the uncloseted FAs have all experienced varying degrees of predjudice/resistance and their own levels of respect and compassion for (SS)BBWs.

In short, one bad apple FA does not make all FAs, and blanketing assumptions just do more damage than good. It's an insult to all the decent ones out there.

(There was a thread out there somewhere that talked about the possibility that these assumptions/criticisms might actually be keeping otherwise decent FAs in the closet about their preference/lifestyle, but I can't really find it right now while typing.)

Hopefully I cleared up any confusion I caused and didn't come across as embittered while doing so. I honestly appreciate all the appreciation that we get from (SS)BBWs here from time to time. It actually strengthens my resolve as an already out FA. :D
 

T_Devil

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I don't consider a person to be an FA until they "come out" about it. Until then, I consider them a "closet case". It's kind of a mean and shallow thing, but see if I care what anyone else thinks. If you're in, you're all in. You can't admire on the sly. It's some sneaky, underhanded shit to do and that isn't fair to anyone.

No, if the person wants to be considered to be a Fat Admirer, they have to be willing to be seen with a fat person. They don't have to be as outspoken as I am, but they can't "just hide it" either. If a person want's to continue to be a closet case, then they ought to be seen as such.

I don't believe in being mean, I just beileve in being honest.
 

stan_der_man

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IMHO, the first step, and the one which only we can take, is to educate other FAs about learning to accept themselves and their desires. Then the second step would be to teach them how to be supportive of fat people in their self-acceptance struggles. I don't have any practical suggestions about this stage. The best thing to do might just be to ask our favorite BBWs and BHMs: what can we as FAs/FFAs do to be allies in the cause of size acceptance?

...
That's one thing I've been pondering for a while. I think the time is right insofar as there being a "critical mass" of FAs to create a SIG, seperate board, or community of some type that is made up of FAs, and specifically for FAs (all others being welcome of course, but the emphasis being for FAs…) By critical mass I mean that there seems to be enough members in this community (Dimensions) to make an interesting, diverse, self sustaining community that could be a resource for new FAs, and support for us FAs in general. Something like this has never materialized (not for very long anyway) that I can remember. I think having threads about this is a great way to bring FA issues to the forefront, but even the best of threads eventually sink into the digital blue ocean, and are forgotten. Personally I think this subject is worthy of some type of "permanent home" where it can be more readily accessed.



My apologies for the inproper explanation. What I meant is, that there are FAs that are 'out', with their preference fully known to others around them and are not ashamed; make no attempt to hide it, and then there are FAs that are more "in the closet." They are secret FAs and only exercise this part of their lives when it's convenient.

...
Littleghost, those are very valid points, I’m glad you articulated them further. I think each FA has to decide how they express their preference, whether it’s verbally, wearing a tee-shirt, or simply by their actions. One observation that I’ve made is, if a FA doesn’t completely “come out of the closet” and only exercises his (or her) preference when it is “convenient” it usually comes back to haunt them sooner or later; they will probably be “outed” in less than desirable circumstances, or forced to give up a relationship which they relish because of their cowardess.

I don't consider a person to be an FA until they "come out" about it. Until then, I consider them a "closet case".


No, if the person wants to be considered to be a Fat Admirer, they have to be willing to be seen with a fat person. They don't have to be as outspoken as I am, but they can't "just hide it" either. If a person want's to continue to be a closet case, then they ought to be seen as such.



I don't believe in being mean, I just beileve in being honest.
Also good points T_Devil. I think there are two issues here… One of simply being “out” about being an FA, and another about how much one expresses his (or her) sexual preferences. I never really engaged the people in my life directly about my sexual preferences per se. I simply did what I felt was right for me (dating fat girls, marrying a fat girl) and considered my actions to be the best representation of what I stood for. I always supported fat people, but didn’t deliberately go around beating a drum of support. I felt that simply setting an example by my actions and being proud of who I was (and who I was with) was all that I needed to do. I always defended myself and those I admired when insults flew, I felt that was all that was necessary for me. Going on Miami Ink, getting a fat girl tattoo and being interviewed (speaking) about size acceptance was a whole new realm of activism for me, I felt that the time and place was right for me. One interesting side note… having an image of a fat girl tattooed to my arm has actually been a very positive experience for me. On the warm days that I have worn a sleeveless shirt, I must say that I’ve gotten more positive comments about the fat girl on my arm than I expected. Maybe tattooing ones sexual preference on their arm is the easiest way for others to identify your preference and show your support for fat women (or men)… ;)

Stan
 

bigplaidpants

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That's one thing I've been pondering for a while. I think the time is right insofar as there being a "critical mass" of FAs to create a SIG, seperate board, or community of some type that is made up of FAs, and specifically for FAs (all others being welcome of course, but the emphasis being for FAs…) .....
I'm still all for this, Stan. Just sayin'....
 

waldo

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Sometimes the 'out' FAs get lumped in with 'closet' FAs and are critised unjustly for 'having it easy' while not being sympathetic or appreciative of what it's like to be a (SS)BBW socially, physically, mentally and emotionally in the society that we live in. In other words, FAs sometimes come across the attitude that we have all the privledges, while none of the responsibilities or grief that (SS)BBWs experience and that FAs don't fully appreciate this situation.
...................................
(There was a thread out there somewhere that talked about the possibility that these assumptions/criticisms might actually be keeping otherwise decent FAs in the closet about their preference/lifestyle, but I can't really find it right now while typing.)

Hopefully I cleared up any confusion I caused and didn't come across as embittered while doing so. I honestly appreciate all the appreciation that we get from (SS)BBWs here from time to time. It actually strengthens my resolve as an already out FA. :D
Thanks for the clarification. However, remember that many fat people will still believe (and be correct) that FAs have it much easier no matter how open we are about ourselves. We don't deal personally with the health and mobility issues and we don't get the stares from people in public when not accompanying our fat patner.

Here's a thread that dealt kinda/sorta/close to what I was talking about. However, it deals pretty much exclusively with closeted FAs. My opinions on such sad beasts are fiercely mixed, for the record. (Waldo contributed quite a hefty chunk to said thread!)

http://dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?p=318887#poststop
Yes and an an excellent thread it was. A must read for anyone new on the scene.
 

waldo

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That's one thing I've been pondering for a while. I think the time is right insofar as there being a "critical mass" of FAs to create a SIG, seperate board, or community of some type that is made up of FAs, and specifically for FAs (all others being welcome of course, but the emphasis being for FAs…) By critical mass I mean that there seems to be enough members in this community (Dimensions) to make an interesting, diverse, self sustaining community that could be a resource for new FAs, and support for us FAs in general. Something like this has never materialized (not for very long anyway) that I can remember. I think having threads about this is a great way to bring FA issues to the forefront, but even the best of threads eventually sink into the digital blue ocean, and are forgotten. Personally I think this subject is worthy of some type of "permanent home" where it can be more readily accessed.




Littleghost, those are very valid points, I’m glad you articulated them further. I think each FA has to decide how they express their preference, whether it’s verbally, wearing a tee-shirt, or simply by their actions. One observation that I’ve made is, if a FA doesn’t completely “come out of the closet” and only exercises his (or her) preference when it is “convenient” it usually comes back to haunt them sooner or later; they will probably be “outed” in less than desirable circumstances, or forced to give up a relationship which they relish because of their cowardess.


Also good points T_Devil. I think there are two issues here… One of simply being “out” about being an FA, and another about how much one expresses his (or her) sexual preferences. I never really engaged the people in my life directly about my sexual preferences per se. I simply did what I felt was right for me (dating fat girls, marrying a fat girl) and considered my actions to be the best representation of what I stood for. I always supported fat people, but didn’t deliberately go around beating a drum of support. I felt that simply setting an example by my actions and being proud of who I was (and who I was with) was all that I needed to do. I always defended myself and those I admired when insults flew, I felt that was all that was necessary for me. Going on Miami Ink, getting a fat girl tattoo and being interviewed (speaking) about size acceptance was a whole new realm of activism for me, I felt that the time and place was right for me. One interesting side note… having an image of a fat girl tattooed to my arm has actually been a very positive experience for me. On the warm days that I have worn a sleeveless shirt, I must say that I’ve gotten more positive comments about the fat girl on my arm than I expected. Maybe tattooing ones sexual preference on their arm is the easiest way for others to identify your preference and show your support for fat women (or men)… ;)

Stan
It is ironic that Dimensions started as just what you are describing as a resource primarily for the FAs with others (particularly the BBWs of our desires) welcome but the emphasis of it being a place for the FAs. Of course now Dimensions has become more and more a place (refuge) for the people first and foremost and a place for FAs second. And discussions of FA issues are becoming perhaps as welcome here as they have traditionally been in NAAFA.

Here is an interesting read for those who haven't seen it. It was written a long time ago (mid '90s) by a former NAAFA president, and seems just as relevant today.

ETA: You really went on the TV show and had a fat woman tatooed on your arm?? That's great!!
 

stan_der_man

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Here is an interesting read for those who haven't seen it. It was written a long time ago (mid '90s) by a former NAAFA president, and seems just as relevant today.
I do remember reading that, I was a NAAFA member by then. You are right Waldo, that article still has as much validity today as it did back then. One fair criticism of FAs (myself included) is that we joined the movement, we went to the social events, met someone (got married or whatever), "got what we wanted out of the movement" and bailed out. In my case, that wasn't a conscious motive, I did believe in the size acceptance movement. My wife and I were active members of our local NAAFA chapter for a quite a few years after getting married, but viewed by others I could see the misperception that I just joined NAAFA to meet a fat woman. I think that is where the animosity rests between fat activists and FAs. It is perceived that FAs can get what they want out of the movement and vanish into "average society" as is convienent for them (or after the FAs get out of the movement what they want), while the fat people are (generally) always fat, and the issues that NAAFA deals with always apply to them. There is a good amount of truth to that. I agree that NAAFA should predominanly be for fat people, about fat people and comprised of fat people. Many FAs only joined NAAFA to meet chicks, no doubt about that, but plenty also believe in the size acceptance movement such as myself and resent being lumped into that group. Marginalizing an FA from the size acceptance movement, in my opinion, is somewhat like saying that a gay male can blend into society by acting strait, looking "normal" and suppressing their sexual desires. I think Dimensions (Mag and Online) has been more sucessful blending FAs and fat people because a culture was created (by Conrad of course) that didn't dwell on the fact that there will always be a "social" scene, I think NAAFA generally tried to discourage that, maybe with valid reason, but to the detriment of FAs. I think it's a shame that there is animosity between the NAAFA and Dimensions people, because both groups are analogous and together supplement each other's weaknesses. NAAFA is the more academic of the two, and Dimensions is the thriving social community. There is plenty of overlap needless to say, but viewing the two groups as competing against each other (in a negative way) serves no purpose other than creating discord.

Anyway, the best we can do (FAs and fat people) is realize that we are in the same boat, be supportive of each other, sensitive to each others issues and keep size acceptance progressing in a positive way.

ETA: You really went on the TV show and had a fat woman tatooed on your arm?? That's great!!
Yup! Diedrababe and I will be on Miami Ink getting fat girl tattoos and promoting size acceptance. Probably in mid August... Hopefully we'll know more exact of a date soon.

Stan
 

alienlanes

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That's one thing I've been pondering for a while. I think the time is right insofar as there being a "critical mass" of FAs to create a SIG, seperate board, or community of some type that is made up of FAs, and specifically for FAs (all others being welcome of course, but the emphasis being for FAs…) By critical mass I mean that there seems to be enough members in this community (Dimensions) to make an interesting, diverse, self sustaining community that could be a resource for new FAs, and support for us FAs in general. Something like this has never materialized (not for very long anyway) that I can remember. I think having threads about this is a great way to bring FA issues to the forefront, but even the best of threads eventually sink into the digital blue ocean, and are forgotten. Personally I think this subject is worthy of some type of "permanent home" where it can be more readily accessed.
I'm still all for this, Stan. Just sayin'....
Thirded. I'd be very much in favor of an "FA Issues" forum of some sort.

Two thoughts: I've only been active on Dims for a few months, but certain issues -- "I'm an FA but I'm afraid people will make fun of me!" "I'm an FA and I love my girlfriend, but she's thin!" -- seem to come up with such regularity that it'd be really useful to have a FAQ or stickied thread that we could point people to. Much as I love to deliver it, I'm getting kinda tired of typing up the whole "share your fantasies with your partner in an atmosphere of trust and communication" spiel every single weekend :rolleyes:.

Second, I'd want any potential FA subforum to be a safe space/"snark-free zone" for closeted FAs to air their issues. Yeah, in a perfect world all FAs would come out of the womb fully secure in their preferences, but unfortunately that doesn't happen, and as much as I understand women's frustration with closeted-FA bullshit, sometimes guys need a little nudging from sympathetic, experienced guys who know what they're going through. So I'd ask that any BBWs who contributed to the discussion be respectful of this. (You ladies certainly have a vested interest in there being a pool of eligible guys who are secure in their FAism, so let us whip 'em into shape for you and we promise that by the time we turn 'em loose they'll be perfect gentlemen :D.)

Here is an interesting read for those who haven't seen it. It was written a long time ago (mid '90s) by a former NAAFA president, and seems just as relevant today.
Wow! Thanks for passing that essay along -- I'd never seen it before. This quote in particular has a lot of resonance for me:

[FAs'] support of the movement is a reflection of their personal issues about their FAness just as a fat person's support of the movement is a reflection of their personal issues about their fatness. For this reason, FAs' allegiance to the size acceptance movement is very different from, say, a sighted person's support of the blind movement or a white person's support of the civil rights movement.
Yep.
 

RedVelvet

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Second, I'd want any potential FA subforum to be a safe space/"snark-free zone" for closeted FAs to air their issues. Yeah, in a perfect world all FAs would come out of the womb fully secure in their preferences, but unfortunately that doesn't happen, and as much as I understand women's frustration with closeted-FA bullshit, sometimes guys need a little nudging from sympathetic, experienced guys who know what they're going through. So I'd ask that any BBWs who contributed to the discussion be respectful of this. (You ladies certainly have a vested interest in there being a pool of eligible guys who are secure in their FAism, so let us whip 'em into shape for you and we promise that by the time we turn 'em loose they'll be perfect gentlemen :D.)

Awwwwww MAN...........I never get to have ANY fun!



...........I'll be good....I promise.

....No...really.
 

The Orange Mage

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Those suggesting a FA SIG or special "FA issues" section of the forums...you DO realize that Dimensions was born out of NAAFA's FA SIG, right? We don't needa new section really...the General board is the correct place for FA-centric discussion.
 

LillyBBBW

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Those suggesting a FA SIG or special "FA issues" section of the forums...you DO realize that Dimensions was born out of NAAFA's FA SIG, right? We don't needa new section really...the General board is the correct place for FA-centric discussion.
Or so one would assume. It does tend to get a little too noisy around here for discussions of that nature to go on. I'm in favor of a private sanctum for male chat.
 

AnnMarie

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Or so one would assume. It does tend to get a little too noisy around here for discussions of that nature to go on. I'm in favor of a private sanctum for male chat.
I have no problem if the men would like that (obviously not up to anyone but Conrad) but I would be angry if there was an assumption or suggestion that followed that all "male" conversations should be moved there.

There's a lot of attitude here in recent past that seems to suggest the women shouldn't have to read this stuff... and I think that's part of the entire purpose of these boards. For men and women to share their sides, their issues and feelings, to come closer through knowledge and communication. I think that's always been Conrad's plan and hope, and more segregation - while it can be helpful for certain topics - can be divisive.

I think it would be a small leap from there to a guy posting a "wow, this is a lovely woman" post and someone quickly replying "shouldn't this be in the GUYS area??"

I can't even stand the idea of that happening.
 

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I have no problem if the men would like that (obviously not up to anyone but Conrad) but I would be angry if there was an assumption or suggestion that followed that all "male" conversations should be moved there.

There's a lot of attitude here in recent past that seems to suggest the women shouldn't have to read this stuff... and I think that's part of the entire purpose of these boards. For men and women to share their sides, their issues and feelings, to come closer through knowledge and communication. I think that's always been Conrad's plan and hope, and more segregation - while it can be helpful for certain topics - can be divisive.

I think it would be a small leap from there to a guy posting a "wow, this is a lovely woman" post and someone quickly replying "shouldn't this be in the GUYS area??"

I can't even stand the idea of that happening.
Also, speaking from long experience……where there are no BBW or FFA, it is hard to keep the guys talking for long. You see it in chat all the time, you see it in threads here fairly often, and I spent some years trying to run a yahoo group for this exact sort of purpose, and despite much initial enthusiasm it just slowly ran down for lack of participation.

I don’t know exactly why it works this way, certainly many of the guys have things to say to other guys. Maybe it is just that around women we work extra hard to be witty and insightful (or annoying, or funny, or, well, anything other than boring)?

So I don't think, aside from the question of is it appropriate, that it is all that likely to be a big success.

Regards;

-Ed
 
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