Tired of BBWs that ignore big men

Discussion in 'BHM/FFA' started by swedishiron, Feb 9, 2006.

  1. Feb 9, 2006 #1

    swedishiron

    swedishiron

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    I am so tired of BBWs that will practically through themselves on averaged size men but treat big guys like shit. I see it all the time at BBW parties to point i stopped attending. you will see 5 girls dancing with skinny guy ? whats the point?
     
  2. Feb 9, 2006 #2

    EvilBob

    EvilBob

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    The heart wants what the heart wants...
     
  3. Feb 9, 2006 #3

    AnnMarie

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    I think that would be akin to me going to a club and being pissed at all the guys dancing with skinny chicks. I mean, honestly... people like what they like, and their own physical preferences often have nothing to do with what their own build is like.

    I think rather than being upset about the girls with the average guys, you need to spend more time looking at the girls who AREN'T dancing with them.

    My friend and I run events in MA, we have a lot of big guys who come, and there are girls who dig them - no doubt. Is it as many as dig the "average" guy? Probably not, I won't lie. Similar to how not as many men like fat girls as like "average" girls. But there are far less BHMs who attend our events compared to average guys, so it works out ok for everyone.

    Anyway, I understand the annoyance, anyone of size can, but you really need to look for those who are looking for you, rather than at those who aren't. If I spent all my time thinking about the guys out there who don't want me... I'd never leave the house.

    :)
     
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  4. Feb 9, 2006 #4

    NFA

    NFA

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    Results STILL NOT typical

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    Everyone has a right to their own physical preference. You aren't owed the attention of fat women and shame on you for thinking you are. I know I'd never want anyone telling me that I should be attracted to thin women, so I've no interest in doing that in reverse.
     
  5. Feb 9, 2006 #5

    Tracyarts

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    Never had a preference myself. Men could be fat, thin, short, tall, dark, fair, old, young, etc...

    But for some people there is a distinct preference.

    I mean, if it is okay for men to focus only on supersized women, or only on pearshaped women or only on tall women, etc... then it is perfectly okay for women to focus only on their preference.

    Everybody wants what they want, even if what they want is not a specific physical type. Many times, it is though.

    If it is okay to reject a woman for being too thin, then it is okay to reject a man for being too fat.

    What's good for one is good all around.

    Tracy
     
  6. Feb 9, 2006 #6

    shirmack

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    Well Im Gonna Venture Out On A Very Thin Psychological Limb Here And Say That Big Girls Go After Smaller Guys As An Ego Boost Much As Most Big Guys Go After Smaller Girls As An Ego Boost I Share Your Frustration As I Am A Med To Large Guy Who Likes Bigger Girls Especially Blondes But I See The Other Point Of View As Well There Is My Hypothesis At Least
     
  7. Feb 9, 2006 #7

    AZ_Wolf

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    Just based on how many BBW sites there are of all manner on the internet compared to those for BHM, I'd definitely say that more "skinny to mainstream" men like BBWs than such women like BHMs. So it wouldn't be at all unusual to see a BBW mobbed on the dance floor by skinny guys.

    If she's the sort of woman that gets more turned on by contrast, then that's who you'd see on the dance floor with her. I don't exclusively like thin women, but I, as a BHM, definiely find the contrast between a thin(ner) woman and myself alluring, so I can understand that.

    Also, when I was in college and into fitness, I was _buff_. Not to where I had muscles bulging all over, but I was definitely in conventionally great shape. But I was almost universally ignored by women because I'm also short.

    I learned to deal with it. Be yourself, and don't let anyone else's preferences get to you too much. Hey, even now in the BHM community my shortness is often a large bucket of cold water on most women. Just do your own thing and wait to meet someone who can appreciate that.
     
  8. Feb 9, 2006 #8

    William

    William

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    Hi

    Until recently (I mean in the 2000s) I would say you were correct. When I first came to Fat Acceptance, fat men were not thought to need Fat acceptance, but at the same time not thought to be masculine or attractive by BBWs in Fat Acceptance because of their Fat. Fat-a-tude only applied to BBWs.

    I am glad to say there are plenty of BBWs now putting in a good word for BHMs, maybe it is just that more BBWs really believe in Fat Acceptance and can extend it to BHMs. Maybe more BBWs truly feel good about themselves and can be themselves.

    Anyway I like Fat Acceptance in 2006

    William
     
  9. Feb 9, 2006 #9

    ruby

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    I'm a size 8 ffa and just because I see an attractive BHM doesn't mean he is going to be interested in me. I've put myself out there and I've even been rejected. Right after being rejected, I ask myself, "WHY?" But I realize that it really doesn't matter. There could be 1,000,000 reasons, but if I worry about it, I'll only drive myself nuts. I just try to leave the house with a positive attitude. I try to be confident and sincere, without carying the pain from my previous rejection. I realize that if I carry hurt, I will turn others off.
    Hope this helps.
     
  10. Feb 9, 2006 #10

    missaf

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    I'm sorry you're running into women you hope would be attracted to you and aren't. It's a big world out there with many varying tastes. If you'll read the other threads you'll see you're not alone, and you'll see that your situation is not indicative of everyone'e experiences.

    Hang in there.
     
  11. Feb 10, 2006 #11

    EvilBob

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    OK... maybe this is too blunt, but...

    I have found that when women aren't paying any attention to you, it is generally a matter of YOU and not THEM.

    Some guys have unpleasant personalities and don't know it.

    Some guys just give off the creepy-crazy vibe.

    This is not 100% accurate -- but it has held true in my life.

    So, when things are going south for you with the ladies - don't worry so much about hitting the gym. Think more about a few of these things:

    Why are you talking to them? If you are talking to them because you want them to love you or sleep with you, most women can sense that from a mile away... and avoid it.

    Would you be happy if you simply became casual friends with them? If not, then you are approaching with bad intentions... and that isn't hard for them to see either.

    Do you need something from them? Sometimes you may not even realize that you are truly in need of something from the person -- acceptance, love, assurance, etc.. It is OK to be needy -- we all are -- but if you are approaching a woman because, deep down, you *need* something, you will surely frighten them off.

    If you approach with honorable intentions and an open heart, you would be surprised how receptive ALL people will be -- not just women.

    My two cents... or maybe three.
    EB
     
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  12. Feb 10, 2006 #12

    FatAndProud

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    Dude, the skinny chicks dig BHM. I think because HELLO...The BHM always gets the beautiful skinny wife. I.E. Homer Simpson...Uh the husband on The King Of Queens...It could go on forever.

    It's the BBWs turn to get some much deserved skinny people attention lol.

    No but I don't think size or whatever matters. As long as he's clean, funny, and smart. Then I'm down.
     
  13. Feb 10, 2006 #13

    Buffetbelly

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    That's beautiful, Bob! I think you need to change your nick to "Brotherly Bob" or "Bob the Wise".

    Your advice rings true. Too many people go to BBW-BHM events expecting all the injusticies done to them in high school to be reversed in a single evening. And I wish more slender FFA's had the courage to attend such events since slender male FA's obviously have no such inhibition.
     
  14. Feb 10, 2006 #14

    FatAndProud

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    Oh I disagree, many slender FAs do have inhibitions, especially around their friends. It sickens me so much. Why can't people just say, "HEY I LOVE FAT!!"

    It's almost like the whole gay-coming-out-thing. I guess fat people are extremely taboo in today's society.
     
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  15. Feb 10, 2006 #15

    Jes

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    EB is my new BFF.
    Mostly b/c he knows about the creepy-crazy vibe some guys give off. Bob, this might mean you're not totally a guy...maybe you're like a Euro guy. Or part cat or something. I didn't know guys could know about that vibe...
     
  16. Feb 10, 2006 #16

    NFA

    NFA

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    Results STILL NOT typical

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    HEY, I LOVE FAT!

    Its really quite easy. But indeed, some guys are closet about it. I can only hope they have the human decency not to date a fat girl while in the closet. If they don't care to know what they're missing, they ought to be willing to take the consequences.
     
  17. Feb 10, 2006 #17

    TheSadeianLinguist

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    Okay. Why wouldn't a BBW like you, you ask? Here are your other two posts:

    "I just want a lick !:smitten:"

    "I'd love to take you out to eat Deidrababe...or you do you prefer eating in ? :eat2:"

    CREEPY! Creepy, creepy, creepy, creepy CREEP! If you constantly sexualize women, they're going to be creeped out, whether they're 100 or 700 lbs. I've dated skinny and big men alike, and you know what: If they treated me like a sex object, they got dropped hard and fast.

    Women don't like it when you blame them instead of taking responsibility for your lack of attractiveness. Why are you entitled to their attention when you're hostile towards them? No one owes you anything, bucko. Get over yourself. :rolleyes:
     
  18. Feb 10, 2006 #18

    FatAndProud

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    Heh, HEY I LOVE FAT TOO!!! :eat2:

    More people just need to stop being...like you said...closet FAs and the world NEEDS to have a massive orgy. lol :wubu:

    Problem solved ;)
     
  19. Feb 10, 2006 #19

    TallEnglishman

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    Too many in the BBW/BHM/FA/FFA community parade their insecurities and hostility like badges of honour.

    :eat2: :eat2: :eat2: :eat1: :eat1: :eat1:
     
  20. Feb 10, 2006 #20

    Jack Skellington

    Jack Skellington

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    Women that like macho guys with short hair don't want to date me! Damn them all to hell for their preferences! All women should be worshipping the ground I walk regardless of their personal likes and dislikes!

    Actually, I'm just kinda spooky looking so I creep everyone out. Eh, it has it's perks.

    Seriously, no person of any size owes you a date and listen to EvilBob.
     

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