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Weeze

Justin Bieber of Dims
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Jun 19, 2008
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lol

Do I have to throw my gang signs again?

It actually just occurred to me today that I have not posted under these boards in a while. :(

Sorry kids.
 

Celestial Ceece

SSBBW Singer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
201
Location
Celisa Stratton,
Okay so I find the timing of this thread quite interesting, though I'm wondering how come there aren't more folks who answered/responded. The reason I find the timing of this thread so interesting is because a few days ago, a friend and I (he's a BHM, and I'm obviously SSBBW) were chatting on yahoo. I don't know how it came up, but I wanted to let him know, truthfully, that there are women who are BBW's or SSBBW's who just aren't into fat dudes. I wasn't trying to be mean of course, but I wanted him to realize that I have heard from several people who shall remain unnamed, that they don't like fat men.

I know that might sound hypocritical but as we have all learned from this board, and real life, people have their own preferences. You can't force any BBW to be into a BHM or vice versa. You can't force anything, really.

But I was just wondering, what are people's thoughts on this. Have you found that the majority of BBW's (here or elsewhere) are NOT into big men? I did notice that there are so few responses to this thread, that it isn't just a coincidence.

If you're a fat chick who doesn't find herself attracted to fat dudes, why is that? Are you going to have the confidence to speak up in the first place? And if so (or not), do people here believe that this is just a preference thing, does it have to do with a fat woman not liking herself, or what are the issues behind this deal?

I thought for sure I was going to come in here and find this discussion already taking place. And I was going to start a thread on it too, but this seems like the appropriate thread to bring up the issue.
 

Cors

Delurking
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Jun 6, 2008
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2,758
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Well, many BBWs have said that they are bi-sizual but they usually don't post on the BHM/FFA board. I guess the OP might get a more enthusiastic response if he posts on the main boards.
 

StarMoon

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2008
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67
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Okay so I find the timing of this thread quite interesting, though I'm wondering how come there aren't more folks who answered/responded. The reason I find the timing of this thread so interesting is because a few days ago, a friend and I (he's a BHM, and I'm obviously SSBBW) were chatting on yahoo. I don't know how it came up, but I wanted to let him know, truthfully, that there are women who are BBW's or SSBBW's who just aren't into fat dudes. I wasn't trying to be mean of course, but I wanted him to realize that I have heard from several people who shall remain unnamed, that they don't like fat men.

I know that might sound hypocritical but as we have all learned from this board, and real life, people have their own preferences. You can't force any BBW to be into a BHM or vice versa. You can't force anything, really.

But I was just wondering, what are people's thoughts on this. Have you found that the majority of BBW's (here or elsewhere) are NOT into big men? I did notice that there are so few responses to this thread, that it isn't just a coincidence.

If you're a fat chick who doesn't find herself attracted to fat dudes, why is that? Are you going to have the confidence to speak up in the first place? And if so (or not), do people here believe that this is just a preference thing, does it have to do with a fat woman not liking herself, or what are the issues behind this deal?

I thought for sure I was going to come in here and find this discussion already taking place. And I was going to start a thread on it too, but this seems like the appropriate thread to bring up the issue.
In my world that seems to be the case, one reasons I made this thread to see if dimensions would prove me wrong. While I have read many reasons to why bbw's go for thinner/more athletics but I will not speculate why especially here. We must remember preferences like all things humans doesn't necessarily make sense.

...One thing......please don't make this a thin guy/bbw versus bhm thread, those tend to be very nasty......
 

Celestial Ceece

SSBBW Singer
Joined
Sep 29, 2005
Messages
201
Location
Celisa Stratton,
Yes, that's it. Most people have no prefference one way or the other so very few will label themselves as ffa.

I think you're right - there are a lot of us who like people of all sizes and types, so instead of putting another label on ourselves, we just say we're "who we are". I like the label SSBBW though, because I feel it is empowering and easier than saying, "I'm an amazon who weighs __X__ pounds".

But seriously, I'd like to see more people add themselves to this roll-call. By the way, I've never considered myself to be exclusively FFA, bisizual, or biweightal. I like what I like and that's that!
 

swike77

Member
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Oct 21, 2008
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.

But I was just wondering, what are people's thoughts on this. Have you found that the majority of BBW's (here or elsewhere) are NOT into big men? I did notice that there are so few responses to this thread, that it isn't just a coincidence.
I find the majority of women full-stop are not into big men.

Even though I have lost some weight (due to lifestyle changes related to diabetes), I find most women physically recoil if I approach them.

I am not a mutant, I dress ok and I smell nice, but it still isn't enough. It's not just the dating world either. When I need to go shopping, most female cashiers are stony faced and avoid my gaze when I shop, then brazenly smile and make eye contact with the next slender/attractive customer. I guess the normals don't realise how degrading this feels, or just think we're too dumb to notice.

My social confidence is really shot. There's literally no-one around here willing to give me a chance. I really don't see myself ever being close to anyone again because I can't even get eye contact out of a stranger, let alone get close enough to connect with anyone.

It's clear to me that social prejudices inform the majority of women's body type preferences. However, I am sure there are a few slender women and BBWs who have a strong preference for slim men and who don't have those negative feelings towards fat men, but in my experience they seem to be a minority.
 

Catkin

Well-Known Member
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Apr 27, 2007
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It's clear to me that social prejudices inform the majority of women's body type preferences. However, I am sure there are a few slender women and BBWs who have a strong preference for slim men and who don't have those negative feelings towards fat men, but in my experience they seem to be a minority.
I just wanted to comment on this part particularly...

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, but I've never seen that, or heard of it. I am a girl, I have female friends, and very very few of these women have definite preferences for their guys. I am one of the exceptions, liking BHM almost exclusively, and I know one other person who has a definite "type" (very thin and wirey), but apart from that my friends like a very broad range of men. I know of one girl who's going out with a smallish BHM, and another who's guy has put on a bit of weight, and neither of them seem to mind. They still love their guys, and don't even bring up their weight, ever. They're still the same person and they still love them.

I have never seen any of my friends recoil over big guys. They're just guys; they might fancy some, others, not so much.

Also, is there a chance that by believing that you're being judged like that, and having little confidence (as you said) that you're putting people off without even realising it? Low confidence in a person is usually pretty obvious, and it puts me off right away. A guy that I might have found gorgeous is suddenly turned into someone far less attractive.

Yeah, longish post sorry :rolleyes: basically: most girls (the ones that I know anyway) are willing to give a huuuuuuge range of guys a chance.

EDIT: I should read more thoroughly. Lilly put it better than me about people not labelling themselves FFAs about 4 posts up :p
 

StarMoon

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Sep 26, 2008
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One thing I do know there are way more fa's than ffa's

To the above I wouldn't so quickly dismiss with his post, on some level I feel him, I defiantly do especially the part on confidence... I will expand later (time for dream time though)
 

swike77

Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2008
Messages
21
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I just wanted to comment on this part particularly...

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences, but I've never seen that, or heard of it. I am a girl, I have female friends, and very very few of these women have definite preferences for their guys.
You obviously belong to an extremely nice group of frends. If you're non-judgemental it's likely you'll have attracted likeminded people. It's commendable; really it is. I'm not even beginnng to infer you live in a bubble, because I don't know you, but there does seem to be a trend towards outright rudeness to fat people where I live. There is a reality to fat prejudice, especially on the dating scene. Browse any dating site and half the profiles are appended with comments like 'no bloaters', or 'no fatties or mingers.' Sorry, but I find the very idea that most people don't have an entrenched fat prejudice highly dubious.

I am one of the exceptions, liking BHM almost exclusively, and I know one other person who has a definite "type" (very thin and wirey), but apart from that my friends like a very broad range of men. I know of one girl who's going out with a smallish BHM, and another who's guy has put on a bit of weight, and neither of them seem to mind. They still love their guys, and don't even bring up their weight, ever. They're still the same person and they still love them.
That's great for them, but you're talking about a 'smallish' BHM i.e. someone who is less likely to be judged because he's closer to percieved normality. The rule of thumb being: the larger you are the bigger the sniggers, the more hurtful the comments etc. As for the other guy, the thrust of what I'm talking about is first impressions. He caught his fish before getting bigger. Once peple have fallen in love they tend to accept ageing and fluctuations in weight etc.

I have never seen any of my friends recoil over big guys. They're just guys; they might fancy some, others, not so much.
I have...sigh, and it's not just me. Maybe it's a southern thing, but you don't stand much of a chance here if you're fat.

Also, is there a chance that by believing that you're being judged like that, and having little confidence (as you said) that you're putting people off without even realising it? Low confidence in a person is usually pretty obvious, and it puts me off right away. A guy that I might have found gorgeous is suddenly turned into someone far less attractive.
I think this might be correct in some instances. My honest opinion is that my confidence has gradually taken more knocks the fatter I've gotten. I've gone into many a potential situation with total self-belief in the past - in exactly the same way I did when I was slender - and been consistently shot down with laughter, abuse, uncomfortable looks of disgust/frowns etc. I barely try now... after years of being knocked back and ridiculed I don't have the heart left to make the effort. I do still smile and have a pleasant demeanor with people. I'm not effusive, I don't overstep any boundaries or say anything quirky or corny either, but it seems to count for nothing. There's also been times where I've been abused or ridiculed without interacting with anyone; just going about my business.

I think I've done ok to keep trying as long as I have done. My self-perception hasn't changed - I still think I am a good bloke with something to offer someone, but I think that someone is probably going to have to come to me. I'm kind of praying for a miracle really.

Yeah, longish post sorry :rolleyes: basically: most girls (the ones that I know anyway) are willing to give a huuuuuuge range of guys a chance.

EDIT: I should read more thoroughly. Lilly put it better than me about people not labelling themselves FFAs about 4 posts up :p
No, I think you did a good job with that post, made me think anyway. I just wish the people where I live were as open minded and accepting as you and your mates.
 
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