KuroBara
"She Coo"
To anyone who may read this, I have a lot of things on my mind. I am a creature of conflict on all levels. The Rse Garden is full of beauty and thorns. I will not always have chipper, sarcastic, funny posting. Some may be darned disturbing, though I will try to keep those to a minimum. Just a warning. I need to release and writing in a journal isn't enough anymore. I guess a part of me wants someone to respond to my thoughts and verify that I'm crazy or not. Not trolling for rep (though it's always appreciated); just looking for support.
I am in amazement at how physically unluck I am. Why do I have to be the one fat person with small tits, a giant stomach, and a flat ass? If I have to be fat, which is apparently my fate after decades of dieting (note: I'm 28) and WLS that "didn't take" according to my surgeon, why couldn't I have been curvy? At the very least I wish I had bigger headlights so my shirts would be large enough to cover my stomach. And it's not even that I hate my body, at least not really. I can't describe it. Sometimes, I love being fat. IT's soft and fun to grab. I think I've finally gotten over the public stigma and will eat ice-cream in public. Then at other times, I feel like an amorphous blob. My stomach is just too noticable, but I would have no problem with someone who loves my stomach noticing my stomach. Maybe Mom is right, I do need a boyfriend so I stop thinking so much.
I am in amazement at how physically unluck I am. Why do I have to be the one fat person with small tits, a giant stomach, and a flat ass? If I have to be fat, which is apparently my fate after decades of dieting (note: I'm 28) and WLS that "didn't take" according to my surgeon, why couldn't I have been curvy? At the very least I wish I had bigger headlights so my shirts would be large enough to cover my stomach. And it's not even that I hate my body, at least not really. I can't describe it. Sometimes, I love being fat. IT's soft and fun to grab. I think I've finally gotten over the public stigma and will eat ice-cream in public. Then at other times, I feel like an amorphous blob. My stomach is just too noticable, but I would have no problem with someone who loves my stomach noticing my stomach. Maybe Mom is right, I do need a boyfriend so I stop thinking so much.
