Very little activity on this forum now

Discussion in 'Main Dimensions Board' started by blubberismanly, Jun 28, 2018.

  1. Jul 6, 2018 #41

    TwoSwords

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    Sadly, a different method, but a similar result; silence.

    As a person who is regularly incensed by the lack of a constructive, supportive venue for struggling FAs to discuss their feelings, it really saddens me to hear this. I'm sure it's less work to maintain when membership is that restrictive, but once again, the online desert stretches out before me.
     
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  2. Jul 7, 2018 #42

    DragonFly

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    TwoSwords the statement above is why it isn’t interaction. You are going line by line analyzing what people say, often times it is confusing, frustrating and can come across as self serving. You say you are “ analyzing what people say, so that I can better understand it. “ breaking each post down into these minute bits often loses the message. It derails the topic when a poster feels they have to defend every word when it is a concept or more complex idea they need to express.

    This thread is about there being very little traffic on this site now as compared to prior years. The base reason for that is complex. Many of us in this thread have given examples of things that have happened and have added our thoughts. For you to say that these boards were not about people, the whole person, but just about the fat, is not describing any form of Dimensions, Dimensions Magazine, Fat Sig, or anything about this community. This is a community for fatties and fatty admirers.

    I am now totally confused as to what you are looking for in a place to inhabit on the inter webs .
     
  3. Jul 7, 2018 #43

    Recardo Admirer

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    There is no end of debating about on line forums. I think the more pressing issue is the revival of the offline community. It is there where we can reclaim our humanity and genuine human inter-action. The internet is not a panacea. We have to overcome the isolation.
     
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  4. Jul 7, 2018 #44

    TwoSwords

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    You're not under any obligation to defend anything you said. However, if I'm confusing you, imagine how I feel. Interaction is simply two things or people acting upon each other. That's what the word means. In this post, and in the last, you've apparently been using the word in a non-standard way, but haven't explained what your intended meaning is for this word. This means that I have literally no idea what you're trying to convey, and I never will, until this is explained.

    Now, don't get me wrong. You don't need to explain it. By all means, don't feel pressured, but the fact of the matter is that the larger "message" is indecipherable until I can read the language, and to do that, I need to know what the individual words mean in this context. I simply don't.

    I suppose I've just gotten the wrong impression, then. There just isn't a defining topic that characterizes these boards as a whole, and that's a shame. I may have to look elsewhere.

    Simply and straightforwardly a means of expressing appreciation of physical beauty which I can see. I want to talk about fatness, like a field of lillies or a sunset at the Pacific, or the Painted Cliffs; the inspiration for all other things. I'm not complex in this regard; just rare.
     
  5. Jul 7, 2018 #45

    DragonFly

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    I’m having a hard time believing that you are befuddled because you don’t feel I am using the word interaction in a usual way.

    Need to explain - you tend to offend people when you discect their posts to help yourself understand, it is condescending. I have danced around this topic a couple of times. Straight forward, you get lost in the words and are missing the context of what is going on, I don’t know how to make things clearer. Interaction is about exchanging ideas, you are just pulling them out of context. until you either get the answer you want or the other party gives up, that is less interaction and more a type of behavior that is pushing someone to either defend their point or abandon the topic. Infighting and laborious discussions of much discussed topics are often said to be a reason people left the boards.

    Your impression is wrong- This forum is about putting people into the same space to interact, fat people interacting with fat admirers. Fat admirers discussing their likes and their expierence, fat people discussing what it is like to live in a fat body. That is a petty big defining topic that characterizes these boards. Waxing poetic about fat would be better served on a personal blog, maybe a tumbler account. What you are suggesting is your goal is to present your facts and leave them to be appreciated.
     
  6. Jul 7, 2018 #46

    weetabix

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    Facebook is death.
    Yes these places have flame wars and banning but it's potentially better than Facebook. Software wise this seems to be a standard GPL forum software that was installed on a server just to keep this alive. Feabe and Fantasy Feeder are purpose written websites like Dimensions used to be.
    If we want people to come here we should put up links from our own web spaces (I was going to say websites but even that seems to be a thing of the past).
     
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  7. Jul 8, 2018 #47

    Tad

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    I've been around these boards since pretty much the day they started up (on the bbwqt site, before Conrad offered to host the chat room and forums because the usage level was making them too expensive for the original site to maintain). Over that time I've never not seen tensions -- between people looking for size acceptance and those prefering more of a fat eroticism focus, between feeders+feeders and those without such a preference, FA and the objects of their affection, old versus new, in versus out, men versus women, young versus old, bhm+FFA versus those who wanted only an FA+BBW focus ...

    Sometimes those tensions simmered in the background, sometimes they came to dominate things on the board, with demands that people took sides (or ''if you aren't with us you are against us'). Generally the worst squalls blew over in time, but some were recurring issues.

    Various sub-boards were one attempt to ease some of those tensions, as I understand it. To a substantial extent I think that they did that -- but part of that calming was loss of involvement on the part of some of the Warriors on each side once they were separated. And once there was less interaction between groups there may have been less sparks, but also less cross polinatpoll, more group think, and a less challenging environment. In short, peaceful can also be seen as boring.

    I think that all the other reasons discussed for the decline in the site traffic are also true. But I think a lot of we'll meant decisions may have also hasyenehit along (or possibly more people would have left more quickly due to conflict -- hard to know for sure.)

    And yes I was a moderator for several years, and was part of some such decisions. My opinions at the time were sincere and had a lot of thought behind them. But a few more years of experience have convinced me that the calmest, safest, places online dont generally thrive. People seem to like a bit of danger and adventure and outrage.
     
  8. Jul 8, 2018 #48

    Recardo Admirer

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    Tad. I agree with your comments and they are informative and insightful. But, they do not address overcoming "technology capture." We must find a way to use the technology to facilitate and not fetter a re connection in the community, which should revitalize and inform online interactions. In that order.
     
  9. Jul 8, 2018 #49

    Tad

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    Recardo -- except that the people in this discussion (board users and moderators) don't control the technology.
     
  10. Jul 8, 2018 #50

    TwoSwords

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    "I’m having a hard time believing that you are befuddled because you don’t feel I am using the word interaction in a usual way."

    Okay.

    "Need to explain - you tend to offend people when you discect their posts to help yourself understand,"

    People get offended by all sorts of things, not all of them justified. I think anyone who has any experience with fatness should be able to recognize that. If you want to imply that I've attacked anyone or insulted anyone, then please do so. I'm not aware of having done that, but I'm open to evidence that would convince me otherwise. I just don't see how trying to understand something qualifies as condescension.

    "Straight forward, you get lost in the words and are missing the context of what is going on,"

    The words are my only bridge. Without them, I have no way of inferring context.

    "Interaction is about exchanging ideas,"

    Is that what you meant? Oh.

    "that is less interaction and more a type of behavior that is pushing someone to either defend their point or abandon the topic."

    If someone doesn't want to answer me, they can always just ignore me. They've certainly done it many times in the past, and I've never complained. I'm not capable of "pushing" anyone to do anything they don't want to do. All I have are words.

    "Infighting and laborious discussions of much discussed topics are often said to be a reason people left the boards."

    I don't want to fight anyone. I'd love for everyone to be able to just agree that fatness is the most wonderful, purely-physical quality that a person can possess, but until that happens, I will have an agenda. That agenda need not cause fights, unless there are actual points of disagreement though. Even then, it doesn't need to cause fights, as long as there's room for both people to leave each other be.

    "This forum is about putting people into the same space to interact, fat people interacting with fat admirers. Fat admirers discussing their likes and their expierence, fat people discussing what it is like to live in a fat body."

    So if I say that my experience has been tortuous and miserable, and that there is no haven for me, would that be part of the intended purpose, or is that not general enough?

    "Waxing poetic about fat would be better served on a personal blog, maybe a tumbler account."

    Okay. I'm confused again. Are you saying I shouldn't use these boards to exchange my ideas, or that the extent of my emotional hangups over this issue aren't an "experience?"
     
  11. Jul 8, 2018 #51

    TwoSwords

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    I think this is insightful. I certainly have observed that very same thing. A lot of the more popular places online right now are definitely the most outrageous and heated ones.

    I don't know if it's this way for everyone, but I generally use the internet to try to find a way to express my pent-up feelings, and although I don't personally hate anyone, a lot of people do, which may be part of what you're seeing. However, more than just hate, I think the passions in general are a motivation. People want to be able to express those passions, and feel like they're accomplishing something, and in sterile environments, that's rare.
     
  12. Jul 8, 2018 #52

    DragonFly

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    This post is an example of how you come across as condescending. I’m going to give up, because I have to prove to you, using your own words how you have completely moved this conversation away from anything constructive. You don’t exchange ideas you follow a pattern of just questioning thing out of context claiming it is to help you understand. If Dimensions is not your Utopia, maybe you can build one yourself. Please don’t dissect this post for your edification. This game you play is tiresome. I’m not going to engage.
     
  13. Jul 8, 2018 #53

    TwoSwords

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    No. No dissection this time. I just don't get it at all.
     
  14. Jul 8, 2018 #54

    agouderia

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    Apart from some of the reasons already mentioned for lower activity, there are two more connected ones imo.

    The expansion of social media has led to the rise of micro-interest venues - whereas Dims still is an old-fashioned across the board all things fat site. Reality is though, that the situation and interests of people coming here are often worlds apart. Fat is not a large enough common denominator between a fat women struggling to come to terms with her body image and a militant fat fetishist.

    So coming here and expecting only cheerleading for views and interests on the extremer side is plain unrealistic and an approach based on with the wrong expectations. For those fixated on their special perception, a more specialized venue will most likely be a better choice.

    Which leads to the more general question - also to be seen in other walks of society - how can a system function, when there is no willingness to interact with or even only accept other elements of the same subsystem?
     
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  15. Jul 8, 2018 #55

    TwoSwords

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    This is quite a good question. I had to think about that one for a bit, but as I see it, the fact that these divisions exist is sort of a byproduct of the fact that the system doesn't function. Erroneous discrimination within the established system of society has prompted different responses from different people effected by fatness in different ways, and in many cases, the same suffering and alienation has led different people to develop completely opposite views on the topic, each deep-seated, and grounded in the unfair suffering that they were made to endure.

    The only way that I can think of, of resolving this issue, is to adopt the traditional position with regard to freedom of speech; that I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. As long as everyone can agree that the freedom to express contrary views is a good thing, the rest of the discussions can be had civilly, if not always on overtly friendly terms.

    However, when two people have two completely contrary goals, where neither goal can be accomplished without the eradication of something that the other values most deeply, I think a sort of tactic acknowledgement of the right to make legitimate, ethical decisions is about the best we can hope for; especially when it's done in a cordial way. I don't like it when people lose weight deliberately, but at the end of the day, I accept that it is their right to do so, and I hope they succeed in fulfilling their intended goal for themselves, for their sake. It's just going to mean that the world, for me, will lose more of its appreciable beauty.

    Likewise, I struggle to keep from losing weight, because I was much less happy when I was thinner, and I don't hesitate in expressing my views on this topic, in venues where it's relevant. Others can disagree with me all they want to (indeed, if no one did, I'd be worried there was some censorship going on,) so long as they don't tell me I can't talk that way or try to make me give that up. No one gets everything they want, but everyone gets something.

    However, while that may be the best approach from both practical and moral viewpoints, it doesn't address the underlying problem; the emotional alienation that these various groups have experienced all their lives. The only solution to emotional alienation is emotional validation, so while I think that it's important to try to allow others the freedom to say their piece, I also think that smaller communities need to exist, to help heal the wounds our terrible, 20th-century civilization has so cruelly caused.

    Now we just need a clearer piece of news on where that super-extreme side of the issue gathers and how to get in.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2018
  16. Jul 9, 2018 #56

    finallyfat

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    Yes you don't.
     
  17. Jul 9, 2018 #57

    finallyfat

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    Kudos to Tad for admitting, as an ex-moderator, that pacified message boards don't click. It's the Safe Zones that are truly oppressive, not the "bullies".

    Let people squabble, call each other finks and stuff. Much more fun and real truths emerge over time too.

    Use the block button for those who give others the vapors. I do. I'm much happier ignoring spam from hairy old pot bellies with outies in briefs, for example, so I ignore habitually objectionable posters.

    Self moderation works great.
     
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  18. Jul 9, 2018 #58

    LeoGibson

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    You went 3 or 4 posts further than I would have before just shaking my head and shrugging my shoulders and walking off.
     
  19. Jul 9, 2018 #59

    DragonFly

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    I try! I really try, was hoping that I could move things along.
     
  20. Dec 1, 2018 #60

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