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goochmaster
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
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This is just a disguised attempt to get a list of people to go to when sacrifices are needed, isn't it? I'm not that into volcanoes, so if I could remain at the bottom for a while, that would be awesome.
>.>
<.<
Maybe...
 

abel

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2007
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70
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I was a virgin until a pretty late age, I guess 22 or so. I didn't have a proper girlfriend until I was 25.

I thought it was my looks. I have pretty bad acne scars for one thing. I'm also on the short side.

My life really really sucked because of it. I felt deeply inferior and abnormal. Ironically I have always been pretty sociable, and had lots of friends. However I was never able to truly enjoy anything. Whether we're having a beach party, or going camping, or traveling around Europe, or skiing down a powdery hill, the mantra "You've never had a girlfriend" played endlessly in my mind.

Here is how the problem solved itself: A couple of successive unrelated one-night stands with girls I met at bars were a tremendous confidence booster. That is because in a bar situation looks DO matter, which slightly alleviated the point I was most sensitive and insecure about. More importantly, I also realized that it was just a numbers game - if you approach 20 women you might just end up in bed with one! I realized then that a lifetime of sexual frustration did not have to be my immutable destiny. I realized there was no evil magic curse on me.

After that I started getting girlfriends, eventually got married, and have been married for 15 years. Generally it is a happy marriage, although my main complaint is that my wife is not fat. This may tie into the problem described above, maybe I was so insecure about my looks I just had to go for women considered conventionally attractive. I think I would be fine with it now, but it's too late, I have enough tender feelings for my wife, and a sense of social responsibility, that I cannot just up and leave her because she's not fat.

Another thing, the idea of evil curses has not really left me. Nowadays I am extremely despondent about my lack of career success and it feels like there are magic powers keeping me down. It's the same feeling of helplessness and inability to enjoy anything all over again. It's like that virgin problem again, manifesting itself in a different way, at a different stage of life.
 

thatgirl08

KNOW IT ALL
Joined
Apr 20, 2008
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People talk a lot about wanting their first time to be special, and I get that, but I also worry about people who place so much importance on it.. I've seen so many of my friends be disappointed that their first time didn't end up being the rose petals and candles and sweet lovemaking they had hoped for. I think it's important to put it in perspective.. losing your virginity can be special in its own way but it's also not the be all and end all of having sex. I've never met anyone say that their most physically or emotionally satisfying sex was their first time. It only gets better from there.
 

NoWayOut

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Joined
Jan 9, 2008
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Better than my parents/whole family saying "I know you're not a virgin, but I'm going to pretend like you are. There's gotta be at least some part of you that's still innocent."

:doh:
That would be awkward too. I just had my mom say that if I had sex, I had better use a condom. I didn't have the heart to tell her she'd just wasted her breath since I wasn't going to have sex.
 

Forgotten_Futures

The *other* Holy Trinity
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
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In modern western society, being a virgin after about 17 is largely treated as some kind of failure. I often feel like I'm the only person my age who hasn't had sex yet, and it's an incredibly lonely feeling, even when I am sure that my reasons for waiting are good ones. (Sometimes I'm forced to wonder.) A thread like this gives me a chance to express some of my frustration, expel some of that loneliness, and reaffirm my faith in myself and my choices.

I suppose the more important question is, why do you care so much?
For the record, still a virgin, 25 and less than three months from 26. And frankly, I'm perfectly fine with it. It's a potential craving I don't want right now.

Better than my parents/whole family saying "I know you're not a virgin, but I'm going to pretend like you are. There's gotta be at least some part of you that's still innocent."

:doh:
I laughed so hard I actually had a coughing fit. And... I can't rep you.
 

Saoirse

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2009
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I have a good friend that is 27 and still a virgin. Never had a boyfriend or been on a date.

I lost it at 18 and havent looked back :p
 
Joined
Oct 6, 2011
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26. Still got the v-card, not by choice, just happened that way. Had one opportunity but the guy chickened out. Looking back, SO glad I didn't do it with him. I did not love him as much as I thought I did (first boyfriend, ya know how that can go).
Slightly sexually frustrated but getting by...lol I do want it to be with someone I can be comfortable with (knowing how it almost happened with someone I wasn't and how even that makes me feel). So, I'm fine with waiting..it'll happen when it happens I guess. Or not at all. Hopefully not, don't know if I could live with that but maybe haha :)
 

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