Wants to gain, but don't want to or can't.

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shadowcat

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Apr 22, 2018
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The Shadow Realm
Anyone else go through this?

I don't know how to explain this, but I hope someone will understand. Ever since childhood, especially late at night, fat fantasies would eventually creep into my mind, I'd get these strong urges to get fat. The thought of being fattened was more arousing than fattening someone else. In this state, I really want it!
But when I finally... Um *cough* it goes away completely, until the next time.

But in reality, I don't want to gain. I like being fit-ish and living healthy. I also have health issues that run in the family I need to keep in check. I also hate when my weight is pointed out.

Anyone else feel this? Thanks.
 

Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
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Sep 29, 2005
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The great white north, eh?
Somewhat? I couldn't stand being thin, it would feel alien and alienating to me. But despite my sexuality being heavily tied into fat and gaining, I've held the line at ... Chunky? Generally below what I would call bhm status anyway. A mix of wanting to do some fairly active things, dealing with friends and family, wanting to appeal to my wife .... so I go from sexy times thinking about fat, gaining, gluttony, etc. And then after fight to restrain my appetite and push myself to get exercise.
 

LifelongFA

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May 31, 2018
Messages
245
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So Cal
I am fortunate enough to have been able to keep a foot in both worlds. I enjoy indulging (and overindulging, at times) but enjoy it so much more with someone who is likeminded. Since I have been single more than half of my adult life, it has unwittingly served as a governor, if you will, on my weight. I have always enjoyed being active, so even though I don't train or anything these days, my activity level tends to keep things from getting too far out of control. Seems like my weight has settled in around 300 for some time. I don't diet or weigh myself, but my last 3 annual checkups attest to this stabilization.

Years ago, when I stopped athletic training, I put on about 40 pounds rather quickly. A woman I knew through the size acceptance world ran into me and went on and on at how much more attractive she found me. I was surprised to find out that others felt the same way. Who knew?!
 

ffju

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Feb 26, 2008
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,
I know exactly that feeling! I'm the same. I've tried to gain a few times but it never sticks. Just how I'm wired I guess...
 

squeezablysoft

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Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
728
Location
UNF Jacksonville, FL
My trouble is family pressure. I did a good bit of gaining during my year at college but since I've moved back home with my mom I've not been able to stand up to the pressure and been losing. Trying to find the nerve to just do it even here though cause idk which I hate more, being thin(ish) or dieting to get that way. :(
 

John Smith

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Jan 31, 2015
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507
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Laval, QC (Canada)
I have a friend who show the same issues, but either because she appreciate being both fit and thin and socially-fitting all short (and the point she developped a bottom hourglass figure overtime does help) as much as because of a blend of weight plateau issues, uncontrollable weight fluctuactions, peer's pressure, fears to lessen her chances to find a ideal partner and built lifelong career of her both choices in the nearby future then eventually found a family and all if she let herself go once for all, health concerns, lack of willing, contradictorally rampaging self-body image issues then likely some displays of bipolar behavioral issues.

The other reason might been also because she's a fast-tier gainer and that she may easily put a max. 10-15 pounds at a weekly rate (before to always hit a plateau at the second week which can last for months, even stem to an unwilling weight loss sometimes) even in spite being more-or-less moderably active and working into a physically-requiering full-time job since years: outgrow her bras and half of her wardrobe in a matter of days wasn't always self-enjoying to her.
 

shadowcat

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Apr 22, 2018
Messages
63
Location
The Shadow Realm
I know exactly that feeling! I'm the same. I've tried to gain a few times but it never sticks. Just how I'm wired I guess...
The closest I've ever came to trying was when I was 13. But I got scared.

But thanks for the responses, everyone! I feel it all, pressure from family and friends, the want to be fit, and wanting be appealing. Just not sure where this comes from or what to do. Cut off everything and try not to think about it.
 

Jay78

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Mar 13, 2010
Messages
302
Location
Wallingford, Ct
I guess my weight has creeped up over the years. I’m still under 200 sadly. I wish I could just let myself go but my lifestyle stops me. Family life is too active and the thought of people scolding me about weight is enough to scare me away. Sometimes I want to gain 300 pounds other days I want to lose 30. I wish I could shape shift!!
 

GregJ1

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Aug 18, 2008
Messages
48
Location
, Los Angeles
I’ve always had a desire to have a big fat belly. I have never given in. Work out daily and watch what I eat, except three or four days a week. As I’ve aged, father time has krept up on my metabolism. Now getting flab hiding the muscle on my gut. Frankly, I’m enjoying the flab
 

kbomb

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Mar 14, 2014
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,
In the same boat, really. There's some part of me that wants to be huge, yet I just never commit to it, and I'm in my late 20s. The urge tends to grow every year, though, and I'm kinda scared about what that means. (And kinda turned on, I guess...)
 

JDavis

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I am pretty sure how big you are is genetic, plus or minus a few percentage points. Your body has genes that program how big your muscles are and what fat percent range you are based on your age and gender. You can't gain weight any more easily long term than lose it. Homeostasis! Just like you can't change the amount of air you want to breathe for long. Some people have a wider range than others and probably some can gain and lose but the rest of us are held at a tight range that our body is programmed to hold.
 

shadowcat

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Apr 22, 2018
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The Shadow Realm
Yeah, I'm kinda half-worried, but I don't really think about it too much. I've just kinda accepted that at some point in the future, I might end up really obese.
I try not to think about it too. Haven't come close to accepting it though. More like resisting.
 

Happy fat lover

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Nov 17, 2018
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I agree, genetic. I have worked out for thirty years, the first 15 i was hefty. Realize now fit and flab are not exclusive of each other. I have reasearched this, seems to be a combination of nature and nurture. Just keep moving. Fat will happen as you may be genetically predisposed to itupload_2018-11-24_5-3-33.jpeg
 

Shotha

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I've been through the same issues. As a child, I thought that the fat guys that I saw around me and in the media were wonderful and I wanted to be one of them. I soon found out that fat was and still is stigmatized. So, I would indulge my fantasies with padding. I took a break from padding at university but started doing it again afterwards. I started to realize that I wanted to have a big fat belly. I felt great wearing padding but, when I took it off, it was like living in the wrong body. I wanted to be fat for real but was scared to do it and scared to admit it to others.

Eventually, I found out that there were others like me and I found a like-minded friend. One day we went to a sumo tournament and I joined the local sumo club. I was mostly interested in the training diet. I started to gain weight quite quickly. I'm around 320 pounds (well over twice the weight I started at) now and I still want to be bigger but, at least, these days I feel like I'm in the right body and feeling very happy. I used to be scared of what people would say but these days I just lap up the "disparaging" comments. When I hear someone say, "Look at that fat bugger over there. He's too fat to fit into the booth," I like what I hear, because they're just telling me that I'm the man that I've always wanted to be.

There are more guys, who want me as a fat old man than ever wanted me when I was slim and young.

If it's what you want, I would say go for it.

This is me now:-


1.  You are the pump.  I am the balloon.jpg
 

shadowcat

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Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
63
Location
The Shadow Realm
I agree, genetic. I have worked out for thirty years, the first 15 i was hefty. Realize now fit and flab are not exclusive of each other. I have reasearched this, seems to be a combination of nature and nurture. Just keep moving. Fat will happen as you may be genetically predisposed to itView attachment 131440

Genetic! Born chubby had an active childhood, and still stayed chubby. Stay the same no matter what now.
 

shadowcat

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
63
Location
The Shadow Realm
I've been through the same issues. As a child, I thought that the fat guys that I saw around me and in the media were wonderful and I wanted to be one of them. I soon found out that fat was and still is stigmatized. So, I would indulge my fantasies with padding. I took a break from padding at university but started doing it again afterwards. I started to realize that I wanted to have a big fat belly. I felt great wearing padding but, when I took it off, it was like living in the wrong body. I wanted to be fat for real but was scared to do it and scared to admit it to others.

Eventually, I found out that there were others like me and I found a like-minded friend. One day we went to a sumo tournament and I joined the local sumo club. I was mostly interested in the training diet. I started to gain weight quite quickly. I'm around 320 pounds (well over twice the weight I started at) now and I still want to be bigger but, at least, these days I feel like I'm in the right body and feeling very happy. I used to be scared of what people would say but these days I just lap up the "disparaging" comments. When I hear someone say, "Look at that fat bugger over there. He's too fat to fit into the booth," I like what I hear, because they're just telling me that I'm the man that I've always wanted to be.

There are more guys, who want me as a fat old man than ever wanted me when I was slim and young.

If it's what you want, I would say go for it.

This is me now:-


View attachment 131448
Thanks for the reply. There were people padding back then? For a long time i thought everybody hated fat but be. I didn't feel like I was in the wrong body though. After it was over it was over. Like a midnight fantasy. It gets complicated. I don't like being called fat either. I may never go for it.
 

Shotha

DM Supporter
Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
938
Location
New Zealand
Thanks for the reply. There were people padding back then? For a long time i thought everybody hated fat but be. I didn't feel like I was in the wrong body though. After it was over it was over. Like a midnight fantasy. It gets complicated. I don't like being called fat either. I may never go for it.
All I can say for sure is that I started padding at the age of four. That would have been in 1957. Of course, I thought that I was the only person in the whole world, universe and everything that did it.
 

Happy fat lover

Active Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
43
Location
Los Angeles
I was always fantasizing about being fed and mutually fattened by gluttonous fat girls as a a young man back in the sixties and seventies. When on my own, I would stuff a pillow under my shirt to see how it looked being even fatter than I was as a chubby kid. Slimmed down, as you can see, but still have that big gut urge. As I age, the flab seems to be coming back. I am not unhappy about the change
 

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