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landshark

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I’m steeling @kinkykitten idea and making one for the guys to post their answers. (Hope you don’t mind me steeling your idea, kinky kitten!)

for me personally, hypothetically speaking I don’t have a number on the scale that represents my limit, it has more to do with overall look and mobility. A while back someone sent me the below attached pic and asked me “yes or no” and it’s a definite yes. Again, hypothetically speaking.

9DF86008-B172-4353-A7ED-238EE7A3390A.jpeg

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landshark

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Oh, and another thing, she can’t be too big for sex. I’m not sure if that’s even a thing, I can only imagine the bigger one gets the more challenging intimacy becomes. I don’t mind working harder at it but if it reaches the point it’s not physically possible I think I’d have reached my size limit.
 

op user

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It is more her limit than mine: the weight that makes her feel attractive: this is my limit as well. It is a floating limit, I may compliment on how great she looks when bigger but I wouldn't press to go back to that. At the same time if/when married she gains some weight because she is comfortable enough to gain it (not because she is stressed) l will cherish and support her.
 

landshark

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It is more her limit than mine: the weight that makes her feel attractive: this is my limit as well. It is a floating limit, I may compliment on how great she looks when bigger but I wouldn't press to go back to that. At the same time if/when married she gains some weight because she is comfortable enough to gain it (not because she is stressed) l will cherish and support her.
I definitely see what you’re saying but honestly, and this is a little sad really, most big girls I’ve been with we’re above their “limit.” Some of them didn’t know what to do about it and others, like my wife, just have such a non-existent margin for error regarding her dietary habits and exercising that it gets frustrating. She can undo 4 weeks of discipline in one meal, a meal some of us wouldn’t think twice about.

So I definitely get what you’re saying. I have voiced support here many times for anyone who wants to lose weight and is trying to do so. But I also still like what I like and I can’t tie that to another person’s preference or make what I like dependent on her approval of herself.
 

op user

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I definitely see what you’re saying but honestly, and this is a little sad really, most big girls I’ve been with we’re above their “limit.” Some of them didn’t know what to do about it and others, like my wife, just have such a non-existent margin for error regarding her dietary habits and exercising that it gets frustrating. She can undo 4 weeks of discipline in one meal, a meal some of us wouldn’t think twice about.

So I definitely get what you’re saying. I have voiced support here many times for anyone who wants to lose weight and is trying to do so. But I also still like what I like and I can’t tie that to another person’s preference or make what I like dependent on her approval of herself.
I have been fortunate enough to meet several ladies (large by local/country standards but small for Dimensions) who are/were very confident. It might help I have a policy to keep the BBWness issue out of the discussion but they tend to be confident and relaxed about their weight. So I had a limit and I liked them as they were.

Currently I am trying the ropes with a fabulous lady who has come from a difficult situation and although I took an interest because she is truly impressive BBW -larger that I have dated- currently I am beyond her BBWness and in to who is as a person. Here @happily_married you are right she might be above her limit but yet again I 'd rather help her gain in self-acceptance and be happy rather than help lose weight and reach her limit. For me her acceptance of herself as she is, is vital as to lead to a happy relation.
 

Broseph

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Nope--no limit here. And I'd also answer "definitely" to the above picture. I presume the "yes or no" question is referring to sex, which, I'll be honest, is a bit different from what kinds of things I might prefer in a partner. In terms of the latter, I don't mind if she is somewhat limited in mobility, even though I tend to be very active. On the raw attraction front: the bigger the better.

@happily_married-- I just wanted to give you a big amen for this quote:

"I have voiced support here many times for anyone who wants to lose weight and is trying to do so. But I also still like what I like and I can’t tie that to another person’s preference or make what I like dependent on her approval of herself."

I think this is one of the sources of much (F)FA guilt and finding a balance there is definitely important.
 

Rob hudson

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I don't have an upper weight limit either. Someone who is five foot two and weighs two hundred pounds can be roughly the same physical size as someone who is five ten and three hundred; it's all about proportions and--pardon the pun--dimensions.

What really turns me off is attitude, as has been mentioned in this thread.

If my potential partner--whoever she may be--wants extra helpings of cake, I'll be the first to hand her the fork. But if she's constantly moaning about being fat this kind of makes me feel guilty for appreciating her. You don't want your hand slapped when you grab nice handfuls of belly or thigh and sigh in appreciation. If your partner is always feeling self-conscious and unattractive, this manifests in all kinds of ways other than the physical, and can be very damaging for a relationship.
 

Tempere

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Agree with most here that attitude is key. I’m not someone who has an ideal weight or shape a woman should look. I would prefer her to be ok/happy with her size/body. Similar to Rob’s post, I’m not gonna not give her extra treats/helpings if she wants them and understands that means either more exercise to maintain or that it can lead to additional weight.
 

JackCivelli

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I like ladies of all shapes and sizes, from skinny to super obese, so while fat is a turn on for me, if she’s skinny as a rail and wants to fatten me up, I’m happy. As long as fat is involved somehow lol

As far as a limit goes, there isn’t a concrete one. I’m more turned on by the idea of getting bigger, rather than a specific size. So I’ll answer this in a similar way to how I answeredit for kinkykitten:
How big do I want my a feedee/gainer to be?
MOAR
 

FattenUpForMe

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I have to admit, I'm a little bit obsessed with absolute consent. I totally need to have my wife reassure me at all times that, yes, whatever it is we are doing that I'm enjoying is ay-okay with her, maybe even if it was her who requested that we do it. From sex, to inviting her fat phobic (and, I'm pretty sure, fairly homophobic, although they've never just come right out and said anything about that sort of thing) parents to the wedding, to even just buying myself a new dress (because that's a lot of money that I could otherwise be spending on her, after all) it always makes me anxious and she can relax me just by insisting that she's just as happy as I am about whatever it is. That includes weight gain.

In weight gain fantasy, I only occasionally enjoy the 'spice' of somebody being 'forced' to gain weight, and even then I prefer something like secretly feeding them more than they thought they were eating, or convincing them to eat more and exercise less, maybe by somehow making them think it 'doesn't count', or even just getting somebody to fatten up in a way that is, sort of, against their will but not entirely (like winning a bet against them and having the payment be "put on fifty pounds", which is obviously only a punishment if they at didn't want to get fat when they started gaining the weight, or hypnotising them so that they will stop going to the gym and start eating whatever you offer them and never wonder why they are suddenly gaining weight, or a loving feeder getting their self-conscious girlfriend - who doesn't really believe them when they say they like her bigger body - to agree to let them control the girlfriend's diet and exercise regime until she reaches whatever weight the feeder chooses, only for the feeder to, of course, make her quit the gym and gorge, as she gains and gains, not just in weight but also in self-confidence, and start talking about setting the goal weight above 500kg, to start with, only to keep moving it upward as she grows).

More often, and in real life, I like it when a person is willing and actively consenting to their weight gain. Well, don't we all find it more interesting to see a person (woman in my case, maybe not in yours) gorge herself in public, because she knows that any weight she is gaining is a beautiful thing? Any force-feedings I do with my wife are very much roleplay, although the food is obviously real. Her current weight, is at the point of, shall we say, limited mobility. She can walk (or rather waddle, I should say) but definitely not for long walks on the beach, or anything. Basically, the best way to illustrate it is this: if we go to a buffet, she'll walk in from the car and sit down at the table to catch her breath while I get her food. And unless she desperately needs the bathroom, she won't stand up again till we leave. (Well, then again, I guess we did that already before she was even clinically obese, so that she wouldn't burn calories.)

Now, if my wife asked me tomorrow to help her lose I would totally agree to do so. On the other hand, if she asked me what I thought of her weight, completely without judgement, I would tell her that she has always looked beautiful and sexy, but also that every single gram of that woman is beautiful and sexy, so I'm ecstatic to have so much of her.

If she were to ask me, in all honesty and without expectations or promises, what size I would like to see her at, I would tell her that this is a trick question, because she's asked me before and my answer is always the same: I would love you at any weight, but I would always love to see you get fatter.

And if she pressed on me to give her a new goal to start really going for and planning on obtaining, bearing in mind that we would both only be trying this if we were both happy with the attempt and the results all the way, I would tell her what I have told her in the past:

"If you would be willing and happy to be completely and totally immobile, to literally get too fat to get out of bed without heavy machinery, I would love to help you make that happen, and I would love to help you every day if you did decide to make it happen, and I would love you for making it happen."
 
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Shotha

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I don't have a limit in terms of a number of pounds or inches of girth but the limit is set by my desire for mobility both in myself and a potential partner. For me, a big part of being fat is an identity thing. I like to be seen as "the fat man". Immobility would take that away from me. I feel the same way about partners. If you can't get out and about to enjoy things with a partner, then a large part of the pleasure of having a partner is taken away. Ideally, I would like both myself and any potential partner to be as fat as possible, while still retaining mobility. I also find that pounds in weight is not the important thing. Girth and shape are more important. It's how someone looks, not what they weigh, that is important to me.
 

TwoSwords

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Lower limit - It's not so much a scale number as it is a height-weight ratio, but it's hard to imagine myself being interested in someone who's below 200 lbs, even if they were uncommonly short.
Upper limit - The moment it makes them dissatisfied with life, or sad about the way they look.
And yes; there's an unpleasant amount of crossover between those limits. It's not fun when they do that.
 

Broseph

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Lower limit - It's not so much a scale number as it is a height-weight ratio, but it's hard to imagine myself being interested in someone who's below 200 lbs, even if they were uncommonly short.
Upper limit - The moment it makes them dissatisfied with life, or sad about the way they look.
And yes; there's an unpleasant amount of crossover between those limits. It's not fun when they do that.
I dig the idea of a lower limit. It could be added to the list of (F)FA "standards" that seems to be evolving on this thread.
 

FatBarbieDoll

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TMI below -- read at your own risk!

I am a woman. For me, personally, once a guy gets to be my size (this is not set in stone but a MAYBE) or larger than myself (highly likely to definitely), I'd most likely have to give a relationship a hard pass. At 300 pounds, a guy my size (again, MAYBE), but especially bigger is much more likely to have extreme difficulty with vaginal penetration, if it's not actually impossible. I have to have penetration in order to be fulfilled in a relationship. I suppose it could work via certain positions, but I don't want to be limited or TOO limited and, at 300 or more pounds, he may only be able to do one certain position. However, perhaps a large or large man who is blessed down south would be able to give me what I need?


I once...ahem...did the deed many times with an ex who was at least 260 minimum and I was around that size but probably less than 300 then. When he did climb on top, he would use the headboard of the bed for leverage. Maybe it was his "down there" size that was more of the issue, however, and he could have perhaps given me what I wanted/needed if he were more blessed in that area.

I prefer thin or thinner guys, honestly, but am open to dating fellow fatties to a point if I find them to be attractive. I have a handsome, fat FB friend who I'd consider dating if he were open to it and I was not seeing someone else right now.

Current BF is thin.
 
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landshark

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TMI below -- read at your own risk!

I am a woman. For me, personally, once a guy gets to be my size (this is not set in stone but a MAYBE) or larger than myself (highly likely to definitely), I'd most likely have to give a relationship a hard pass. At 300 pounds, a guy my size (again, MAYBE), but especially bigger is much more likely to have extreme difficulty with vaginal penetration, if it's not actually impossible. I have to have penetration in order to be fulfilled in a relationship. I suppose it could work via certain positions, but I don't want to be limited or TOO limited and, at 300 or more pounds, he may only be able to do one certain position. However, perhaps a large or large man who is blessed down south would be able to give me what I need?


I once...ahem...did the deed many times with an ex who was at least 260 minimum and I was around that size but probably less than 300 then. When he did climb on top, he would use the headboard of the bed for leverage. Maybe it was his "down there" size that was more of the issue, however, and he could have perhaps given me what I wanted/needed if he were more blessed in that area.

I prefer thin or thinner guys, honestly, but am open to dating fellow fatties to a point if I find them to be attractive. I have a handsome, fat FB friend who I'd consider dating if he were open to it and I was not seeing someone else right now.

Current BF is thin.
From a male perspective I can definitely appreciate this. I realize there are plenty of couple where both partners are bigger. I won’t even assume all these guys are more we’ll endowed than I am, though I’d be inclined to believe they are. I’ve got just enough hardware to be considered average size and likely still would be considered small by a lot of women. If I’m honest even my wife would probably say so.

The fact that I’m fit helps me make maximum use of what I have. Body type matters. I know a lot of guys fret over penis size and a lot of women counter with it being more important that a man knows how to use it. I definitely agree with them, but for me personally part of knowing how to use what I have is remaining fit so I can maximize what I can do based on my partner’s desires and needs.
 

FatBarbieDoll

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From a male perspective I can definitely appreciate this. I realize there are plenty of couple where both partners are bigger. I won’t even assume all these guys are more we’ll endowed than I am, though I’d be inclined to believe they are. I’ve got just enough hardware to be considered average size and likely still would be considered small by a lot of women. If I’m honest even my wife would probably say so.

The fact that I’m fit helps me make maximum use of what I have. Body type matters. I know a lot of guys fret over penis size and a lot of women counter with it being more important that a man knows how to use it. I definitely agree with them, but for me personally part of knowing how to use what I have is remaining fit so I can maximize what I can do based on my partner’s desires and needs.
Member size absolutely does matter but only to an extent. He does not have to be hung like a horse but too small can be a problem too.

If I’m recalling correctly (I’ll try my best to not penis size shame because I think it’s cruel), this heavy ex I mentioned *was* well below average and it was a bit disfigured. Couple that with his body size and mine and penetration was only really possible via doggy and use of a headboard for leverage if he decided to get on top and I don’t like that.
 

FatBarbieDoll

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Member size absolutely does matter but only to an extent. He does not have to be hung like a horse but too small can be a problem too.

If I’m recalling correctly (I’ll try my best to not penis size shame because I think it’s cruel), this heavy ex I mentioned *was* well below average and it was a bit disfigured. Couple that with his body size and mine and penetration was only really possible via doggy and use of a headboard for leverage if he decided to get on top and I don’t like that.
ETA: There was a thread on Feabie recently in which a 450+ pound member was talking about sex with his GF who is also big but not nearly as so. He has also said he has a fat pad, which makes penetration even harder because part of the length of the penis is still buried when erect.
I just couldn’t date someone like this.
 

BigElectricKat

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Do I have a weight limit? Hmmm... I guess not so much a weight limit but more of an ability or should I say, mobility limit. I've dated all sizes of women but I've never been with someone who was immobile or weighed so much that it was very difficult for them to move. I have considered if I ever met someone beautiful, intelligent mind, and character that I just couldn't resist but who was physically hampered by their weight as to be immobile (or nearly so), what I would do. That's assuming they would like me as well, because there is no guarantee of that either.

Luckily, as long as she can get around well enough, everything else is on the table. Since I'm not that big around by BHM standards, I don't generally have any issues with getting to work so to speak ;) . And, I hope this doesn't come off as condescending or insensitive but I would consider it a challenge and a delight to please a woman of great proportions in any way and every way I can.😛
 
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extra_m13

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never talk about limits... if the lady is on, i am on, there would have to be some adjustments of course but i am on. putting in chairs around the house, in the shower, bigger couch probably. the biggest i know ? boberry would probably require wide spaces. juicyjackie can have all she wants... i see no limit. 500 , 650, 750 echo, the thing is to understand what it comes and to adjust to it so both can enjoy it. i must admit it impresses me to see these ladies getting over 500 pounds, that is a monumental amount of weight, so hot... i would do everything to make their life easier. but no, no limit,
 

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