What did you do to fit in at school?

Yeah I did my fair share of smashing too, didn't quite make me the cool kid but a lot more people left me alone after I started doing that.

I did try the diplomacy approach of trying to relate to people first though.

 

I never really thought about it or put any kind of conscious effort into it. I had some friends and didn't really have any enemies, and that was always good enough for me.

But, the high school I graduated from was a totally different atmosphere than most people I know experienced. It was a large, inner city school located in a neighborhood that was almost exclusively low-income to working class. Aside from a few small cliques that didn't like each other and the isolated personality conflict here and there, it was pretty much "live and let live" across the board. Nobody had a lot of money, so there wasn't as much pressure to wear THE clothes, drive THE car, go on THE spring break trip, etc... And for whatever reason, everybody got along well enough that there wasn't much in the way of the jocks stick with the jocks, the nerds stick with the nerds, the weirdos stick with the weirdos, etc... You might hang out with your little group who shared the same interest, but that didn't stop you from being friendly or at least cordial to everybody else.

Tracy

 

What he said.

 

LOL! so true in a sense.LOL i always wondered if the water in the bucket thing actually worked.i have saw it in movies,tv,shows,etc but always wondered if it worked,apparently not.LOL!

 

I went out of my way to do/say annoying stupid shit during sports/athletics. I think this is because I didn't like always being picked last for teams (it was a good day when someone else was disliked more than me which meant I was picked NEXT TO LAST HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
I did this to endear myself to them.


I also mocked them for mocking me for wearing my cousin's hand me down clothes. Apparently what was hot in NJ school girl fashions wasn't ever well received in the NC mountains....imagine that.


Oh wait....you mean I was supposed to suck up to someone to fit in? Holy cow, I just befriended the people that liked me for myself. What a radical notion.....

 

Fuck knows. I went through every stereotype and rut on the social ladder imaginable... it's giving me a headache trying to decide if I did fit in. :huh:

 

NP. Thanks HeavyDuty24! I like your posts, and i think ill add some info, since i shared a lot in that post, people dont "Get" me and ill elaborate a little bit, because its a double-edged sword. Let me explain.

One of the ways it affects me, or this "Skill" i have (? if you call it that, i dont know) is this "Coldness" i can tap into that some people dont expect. Every now and then it might pop up in just being a good guy, and if i get around the wrong bunch of people i either 1) Just leave gracefully, or 2) create the exit for myself, since attachment wasnt there. Its either way.

Almost into my 30s (! SCARED!) Im never going to forget what shaped me. The hard part is to find those that dont want to cut you down to put themselves up, and grow with them. Because ive wasted thousands and thousands of $$$$ on people like i just mentioned, all they see is a source of income entertainment or ? God knows what, im done with that, have been for some years, and the hard part is letting in the people that like you for you and you like them too.



Thanks HD24. I appreciate your thoughts and words, it really can *mess* you up and there were/are times i just have to stop and be thankful for what i have.. because being dismissive of "Teens" even up to 19 is just wrong. Think of the PEOPLE we become.

Im fighting the good fight.. the quest for companionship is ongoing, and all the fun that brings.. you cast your line out into the sea, and God knows what will come your way. Thanks again, man. You are a cool dude.

 

aw thanks man. i do wish you all the luck in life.yeah sometimes you just have to hang with the people who like you for you.if someone is trying to change you into someone THEY want you to be,there really not true freinds to begin with.who you chose to hang out with and surround yourself around plays a BIG part in the person you are and the person you become,only do the things you feel comfortable with.true freinds and good people are hard to find.i do agree,never let someone change who you are and don't let others affect your descisions,go with your heart man,it won't lie to you in the end.your heart,instincts,and even your gut-feelings are your best freinds.

 

Thank you so much! And i agree.

 

me too,much welcome man.

 

What happened in your school? Was there abuse or something? Attending an all boys school does not universally create the type of fallout you've alluded to experiencing. If you were hurt and the "skill" you described is a coping mechanism you developed to deal with that, there's professionals who can help you add some different, less alienating and more effective "tools" to your toolbox. There's no reason for you to feel doomed to a life of struggling socially. If you want any information about what kind of professionals help adults with this sort of thing, PM me. I'd be happy to talk about this stuff with you.

Run in such a way as to get the prize.

 

I went to an all girls school for grades 8-10, and I'm glad of it. Who wants to be surrounded by boys when you're going through puberty and having period accidents?

 

I kinda didn't, but then again I fell in with the rocker/gamer crowd so I spent most of time at lunch in the computer rooms kicking year 11 boys asses at Unreal Tournament (when I was year 8 - hoo yeah )

I was called sushi at school <_<

 

Me too.

7-11.

*hi five*

 

I didn't have to and still now never seek acceptance. This is me, either yr down or you can fuck off.

Hs tho was easy, my two best friends from yr 7 til now, were the hottest boys in school. We all came from dysfunctional families so we were thick as theives and the girls were either jealous of me or trying to get them through me lol.

I was a tall mouthy ginge, ready to rock & roll if shit was on. I was top of most classes, excelled at swimming. Played soccer & volleyball, captain of the debating team, played in a band all that shit that matters not now.

 

I didn't really consciously do anything to fit in. I just tried to be the best person I could be.

 

I used humor. Whenever there wasn't unbearable tension in my home, there was laughter. I brought it to school with me. To this day, I'm thought of as a funny girl.
I also became an incredibly accommodating person. Most things don't matter much to me, so if it makes someone else happy to get their way, well, go for it!
I was also a very good student. So if I couldn't fit in, at least I had "my thing" that I could be into...

 

I tended to stay with the sports minded guys. I was always one of the better athletes in P.E. class' but, not good enough to do well on varsity teams.

 

i really think i was like somewhere inbetween.like i wasn't hugely popular but at the same time people knew who i was.LOL i never cared about being popular,i mean i was happy with myself and i had some cool freinds,and that was pretty cool.lol i was just myself and hoped for the best.LOL

 

Yeah I never really had a stereotype associated with me other than being the token "coon" or whatever racist name they had for brown skinned people at the time.

Some people couldn't actually tell what race I was so I got quite a number of different racial slurs that were meant for different races e.g Arab, Indian, Aboriginal, even got a few meant for Africans.

So in a way, the racial discrimination I faced was very multicultural! LOL

I dealt with racist fuckwits that were so ignorant that I had to point out on a map where I was from so that they can give me the correct racial slur! LMAO!!