What do BBWs like being called in bed?

Discussion in 'Fat sexuality' started by doublejm1, Jan 30, 2015.

  1. Mar 30, 2015 #41

    superodalisque

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    lol I don't think i complained. I already said I like being called by my name. and I said that when things are really good no one CAN say anything.

    i'm pretty visual and tactile. i'm more about doing things and feeling than talking about it.
     
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  2. Apr 4, 2015 #42

    Green Eyed Fairy

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    "The Best"


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  3. Apr 6, 2015 #43

    bbwbud

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    Do they like being called..."ohhhhhh I'm gonna cum!!!!"...Because I end up saying that a lot. And I say a lot of "Mmmffmmff," because it can be so difficult to talk with your mouth full...
     
  4. Apr 7, 2015 #44

    superodalisque

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    another great reason nothing might be said-- mouth full lol
     
  5. Apr 7, 2015 #45

    happily_married

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    Yes, ma'am! I swear sometimes she's trying to suffocate me down there, pushing on the back of my head to hold me in place as if I'd actually leave that wonderful spot on my own! :D
     
  6. Apr 7, 2015 #46

    loopytheone

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    Every time I scroll past this I read it as 'the beast' and can't help giggling at the thought of being called that!
     
  7. Apr 7, 2015 #47

    happily_married

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    Yeah I did the same thing! I promise you if I called my wife "the beast" in the middle of it, it may just bring out the beast in her. I probably wouldn't survive such an encounter.
     
  8. Apr 9, 2015 #48

    superodalisque

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    men are weird. why postulate on what fat women think. just let them respond to the question, listen to the responses and take note.
     
  9. Apr 9, 2015 #49

    happily_married

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    But some of us are experienced enough to be able to weigh in as well. Not postulating on what women think, but relaying to the class what we've experience as successful (or not) is legitimate contribution to the discussion.
     
  10. Apr 9, 2015 #50

    Green Eyed Fairy

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    Kind of reminds me of when I worked in a garage for six years. A lady mechanic started working there.
    The most delightful thing about her? The one day I went out and asked her a simple yes or no question....and she gave me the simple answer of yes.
     
  11. Apr 9, 2015 #51

    superodalisque

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    exactly! lol
     
  12. Apr 9, 2015 #52

    superodalisque

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    I just think some listening to the source is in order. I don't see that here much. but guys can carry on telling women what they like with a large amount of what they like in the bargain to set a tone instead of letting the discussion take it's own natural path lol ;)
     
  13. Apr 9, 2015 #53

    happily_married

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    If you're talking the scope of this thread, I'm not sure I agree. There were some guys that seem to fit this description, but a few others have generated some praise from the female members for their responses. I think it has been pretty balanced on this thread.

    Now if you're talking big picture here on Dims, I am in complete agreement with you. There does seem to be a trend of a guy asking a question, hazarding a guess as to his answer, then becoming irritated when the women's answers do not align to his pre-conceived ideas.

    As for "listening to the source" I am personally trying to improve in this area. I mentioned in my "dom/sub" thread that my wife and I seem to be going through a slow but noticeable transition as she seems to be transcending into the more dominant partner in our relationship. I welcome this and am searching for ways to embrace and even cultivate this new dynamic in our relationship. Being a better listener is part of it. I don't think I was bad to begin with, but if I'm honest with myself I think she would not give me as good a grade as I give myself. Also, I don't necessarily think being a better listener is a "dom/sub" thing, it is just something that I identified as a change I need to make as our roles seem to be evolving. If this transition fades away but I've become a better listener, I'm still a better husband for it.
     
  14. Apr 10, 2015 #54

    superodalisque

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    the problem is the need to control. the focus on who is in control instead of actually learning something is the real problem. there is a problem when asking what women like devolves into who dominates. it's telling to say the least. learning what pleases women should not have anything to do with a power struggle. if it does it's more about what pleases you than what pleases her.
     
  15. Apr 10, 2015 #55

    happily_married

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    At best your post is a bit of a non-starter and at worst a deep reach to make an argument that really just has no pre-existing foundation within this thread.

    I agree with your statement about the need to control, but that's not what we're talking about on this thread. This discussion started out on the subject of what do BBWs like being called in bed. It's a tough question to answer because it's not like BBWs move and think as one entity, but rather individuals. You can like or dislike the question on its own merit, but you can't make a sound argument that it is about the need to control.

    If you think this devolved into "who dominates" you missed my (fairly obvious) point in my last post. It wasn't to discuss who dominates; there are already numerous threads on that subject, one of which I started. If I want to discuss "who dominates" I'll do it on one of those threads. The point of that paragraph was to introduce the idea of being a better listener. The points I made there are actually consistent with some of the points you've made on this thread and others. I think you would have seen that if you weren't too busy missing my point and trying to find a way to disagree with what I said.
     
  16. Apr 10, 2015 #56

    Tad

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    The original poster asked a broad (probably impossibly broad, if read literally) question. Pretty clearly they were looking for information.

    Some BBW responded, which is great. Direct reports are obviously the most valuable. But on the other hand, there were not a lot of BBW responses, and they all (inherently) come from women who use this site, pay any attention to this board, are comfortable enough around this topic to talk to it, are willing enough to help out a stranger to share, and who have a clear enough concept of what they like in this area to formulate a response.

    Now, guys responding only give second-hand reports. What they think their partner likes/liked may not actually be the case, they are probably more apt to be confused between what made for good sex for them because it turned them on versus turning their partner on, etc. So a big drop in quality, in that regard. On the other hand, they provide a much wider net of responses, as most of their partners won’t be from amongst the small number of women who responded on the topic and some have had relationships with multiple BBW so that one guy brings multiple data points plus possibly some ability to compare and contrast.

    I would trust to the reader to recognize the difference between first hand and second hand reports. Given which, I don’t see a problem with guys responding, as they provide a broader range of responses than would otherwise be given. If you don’t trust the responses from guys on this topic, don’t pay them much attention.

    All just IMO as a reader. (FWIW, once touch is involved my ability to use language declines by a couple of orders of magnitude, so I don’t do much calling of any sort in bed, nor am I likely to—but I still think it is an interesting topic)
     
  17. Apr 11, 2015 #57

    happily_married

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    ^ Good post, Tad. I haven't seen you miss yet!
     
  18. Apr 11, 2015 #58

    superodalisque

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    it's fine to have an opinion but people need to be careful not to use so much steering language
     
  19. Apr 11, 2015 #59

    happily_married

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    Nobody is using "steering language." We are voicing opinions, many of which are pretty consistent with some of the point you have made yourself. What it seems like is you are looking for a reason to dislike some members' contributions to the conversation based on gender. I think you can be very insightful and make some profoundly valuable contributions to many of the conversations here, but you are also being very childish and petty on this one.
     
  20. Apr 12, 2015 #60

    superodalisque

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    I was trained in steering language. I know what it is when I see it. ty

    people need to be honest with themselves about why they have certain beliefs. sometimes it has nothing to do with facts or evidence but wants, as you yourself pointed out earlier.


    sorry i'm not dumb enough to be gaslighted on what I see.
     

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