What happened here?

Discussion in 'Board Announcements and Technical Support' started by AmyJo1976, Jan 5, 2019.

  1. Jan 6, 2019 #21

    BouncingBoy

    BouncingBoy

    BouncingBoy

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    I left for a time because of real life.For a short time I lived with a woman who said she wasn't jealous but that wasn't true.She even got upset with me talking to female relatives & old friends I've known for years.So I sort of drifted away from Dims & a few other places I used to frequent.Now that I'm with the love of my life things are totally different.She's as big a flirt as I am.......lol
     
  2. Jan 6, 2019 #22

    AmyJo1976

    AmyJo1976

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    I know how that is. I've been with partners that were extremely jealous about any kind of interaction outside of the relationship. Way too controlling for me. I am so lucky to have a partner now that isn't like that. He doesn't care one bit about me being on here or going out with friends for a girl's night out. And I feel the same toward him. So long as it's just us that curl up together at the end of the day :)
     
  3. Jan 6, 2019 #23

    Navydude

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    I guess it’s been a combination of issues for me. Respectful and rational discourse to discuss things, many of the old guard and friends moving on, no more chat option, etc. there are also many more competing websites and venues. It’s kind of sad really, because for me this was one of the first places I came to and found like minded people who understood this was simply a preference (my attraction to big beautiful women) and not some kind of fetish.
     
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  4. Jan 6, 2019 #24

    happily_married

    happily_married

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    Glad you got out of that relationship! I’ve been in one of those and it’s not fun.
     
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  5. Jan 6, 2019 #25

    happily_married

    happily_married

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    This is a very astute observation.

    This may be an unpopular statement so I hope everyone understands I am not trying to be mean. But honestly some of the “old guard” who’s departed may have actually been addition by subtraction.

    Don’t get me wrong: there were plenty of people who welcomed me when I initially joined. But there was also a contingent was was openly hostile. There were members who would shit all over anyone who attempted to offer an opinion on a topic involving plus size women who wasn’t themselves a plus size woman. The whole “you can’t possibly know...” tripe. As if multiple perspectives on the same subject weren’t welcome.

    I honestly don’t get this from any of the newer members and to put it nicely don’t miss any of the old members who had this small minded approach to this community.

    We would all like to see this community thriving. Maybe we can restore some of its activity flow and maybe we can’t. I will say this: it is a more pleasant and welcoming place today than it was when and shortly after I joined.
     
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  6. Jan 6, 2019 #26

    BouncingBoy

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    BouncingBoy

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    People ask us how we can be a couple & still chat & flirt.I tell them it's because no matter how much we flirt we know where our hearts lie!
     
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  7. Jan 7, 2019 #27

    Jerry Thomas

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    I originally joined because I was interested in the many good weight-related stories available here. I especially miss the "old" library. And many of what I would consider to be the "classic" weight fiction writers have not been adding new stories either. I myself am also guilty because I have not posted any new stories for a long time - must be writer's block (or something). Anyway, that is one of the aspects that really interested me and now it seems somewhat weak.
     
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  8. Jan 7, 2019 #28

    da3ley

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    Agreed, totally.
     
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  9. Jan 7, 2019 #29

    Shotha

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    I noticed that for a long time there was very little activity on Dimensions but that it has now started to pick up again.

    It can be very disappointing, when a much loved institution seems to attract fewer "customers". However, I believe that this is not necessarily a bad thing. Dimensions did much to get the ball rolling for us guys. It has aroused a lot of interest in topics relating to fat and fat admiration. I think that the interest, which it has created, in these subjects has led to the creation of many more specialized sites, which cater to niche markets. (For example, I frequent a site specifically for gay gainers.) What might at first seem to be a disappointing trend, is IMHO a sign of the success with which Dimensions has engaged with people concerning these once taboo subjects.

    Given the broad range of topics, which have been discussed over the years on Dimensions, I'm sure that Dimensions with continue to flourish as a broad-spectrum site relating to all to do with fat and fat admiration.
     
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  10. Jan 7, 2019 #30

    BigElectricKat

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    Since I'm relatively new (since 2017) to Dims and not a widely followed member, maybe my perspective doesn't lend much weight (no pun intended) to the discussion. But aside from loopy and DragonFly, does anyone notice the lack of moderator interaction in the forums these days? Or is it just me?

    Otherwise, I enjoy the discussions here and have learned so much during this past year. I will say that my appreciation for what is big and beautiful has grown (again PNI) during my time here.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
  11. Jan 7, 2019 #31

    LifelongFA

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    Dimensions will always have a special place in my heart. I was originally introduced to the magazine way back in 1993 or 1994 I think, and it truly opened up a new world for me. I know the vast majority of folks from those days are long gone from the scene for one reason or another, but I enjoy being connected to a pioneering group that has directly and indirectly led to so many good things for so many.

    Those of us middle aged or above can attest to the extensive challenge in exploring the movement without the benefit of the internet. I know it took me years to find Dimensions, and I am forever grateful.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
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  12. Jan 8, 2019 #32

    kbomb

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    I feel like, as a kink and a lifestyle, fat attraction is far less uncharted than it used to be in the early days.

    Maybe it's so well mapped out and so familiar that it doesn't take as long to come to terms with for younger generations, and therefore doesn't warrant as much discussion?

    Dims is pretty well rounded in the kinds of discussion it engenders, whereas I always got the impression from the other popular sites that everyone's typing with one hand.
     
  13. Jan 8, 2019 #33

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

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    That would be due to the few number of mods! Myself, DragonFly and Agouderia are the only 'active' mods and agouderia posts plenty too. Aside from that, SoVerySoft is sort of like a semi-active mentor to the mod team and that's literally all of us.
     
  14. Jan 8, 2019 #34

    DragonFly

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    What Loopy said!! Sometimes I start to feel like I am interacting too much :)

    Also know that the moderation and actions on posts are done behind the scenes and handled with the poster. Only on occasion is something like that happening out in the main forums.
     
  15. Jan 8, 2019 #35

    happily_married

    happily_married

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    if We’re interested in keeping the site alive and well maybe we can start referring new people. I recall doing that with one young lady a couple years ago. She came and went fairly quickly though. I’ve also asked my wife to join a couple times. Online forums like this just aren’t her thing. I have a couple other friends who are plus size women and I’ve mentioned this place to them as a good place I’ve enjoyed. For whatever reason the interest is just not there.

    This site is actually pretty mild compared to some of the others out there too. Sure there’s the paysite links and sometimes a conversation in the sexuality forum may get detailed. (I think that’s ok because we’re all adults.) But we’re a pretty all encompassing and comparatively vanilla place. I just don’t understand the reluctance to make a profile and share one’s thoughts from time to time.o_O
     
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  16. Jan 9, 2019 #36

    Sonic Purity

    Sonic Purity

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    Aside: the (my) learning curve on this XenForo software amuses me. I just now played with Multi-Quote to find out what it did, and here we go!:

    You just hit on one of the possible downsides of traditional organized multi-section discussion forums like this: So Many Subsections!

    Personally, i’m one of those people who tend to be naturally organized. When Apple introduced Spotlight to help people find things on their Macs faster and more easily, i shrugged my shoulders with a big “Eh”: didn’t need it. Luvs me a good file system. I nest (virtual) folders in an organized manner, so i can dig down and find what i want, (mostly but not entirely) logically (there is some idiosyncratic “logic”).

    Most people don’t like/have trouble with computer file systems, to the point where one of the biggest successes of iOS was the clean slate which allowed totally hiding the file system, so (non-power) users wouldn’t have to know about it or think about it.

    Having many sections is excellent for things like the story Library.
    It may also be desirable in part in general, however it’s that many more separate places a person has to/might want to go to see things. This can be a barrier to entry for people. I just wrote about how i love organization and categorizing, and even my eyes glaze over when i see the main Dimensions forum page and the seventeen separate categories in Discussions alone. I’ve been here in the past, i know some of the history of why those different sections exist, and for sure it has and continues to reduce friction by segregating topics that not everyone may want to read.

    Feabie users don’t have that problem, because there’s only one place to post. A downside to that is that it’s a conversational chat/message river, with near-zero institutional memory, whereas structures like this one on Dimensions allow reading wit and wisdom going back years, which i just did tonight.

    I personally think that’s the better option, but for me it adds a barrier to posting. On Feabie there is only one place to post—no thinking about it, no decisions to be made. On Fantasy Feeder (as of a couple of years ago) there were different sections, but not all that many, so it was pretty easy to figure out where to post. Here on Dimensions, for me it’s a mental exercise: is what i want to type about more about size acceptance (goes in Main Board)? An FA topic (goes in FA/FFA, and i have issues with that terminology)? Does it touch on my gender blurriness that i didn’t even know i had until this past August (goes in GLBTQ)? Or is it randomness/off-topic (belongs in the Lounge)? {Maybe i’ll just not post} i think to myself. {Or maybe i should go back to FF.}

    In terms of the specific issue Loopy raises, perhaps keeping it in the Board Business section is best, along with finding some way to put a Hey, read this. We need your input! sort of banner in some eye-catching pattern/box/etc. at the top of the home page and in the Yesterday’s Forum Activity emails and other places people frequent.

    Likely a feature, because it tends to make it more of a safe(r) space. Might be a bug in the sense that many people of the fatosphere may be/consider themselves more wild—possibly too wild for here (whether truly or perceived). (In my fantasy life, i’m very wild. In reality i’ve been classed as “vanilla with sprinkles”.)

    1) Making a profile is another barrier to entry. As well, on many sites, profiles have a bad habit of vanishing with site software changes or other changes over time. Sites get hacked, and many people over the years have seemed uncomfortable being identified with the fatlovesex community, which may add to reluctance to fill out a profile, or put much in it. (I’ve been noticing the number of people who choose not to put in location information, which this particular forum [software] is set up to encourage.)

    2) There’s a whole learning curve with any community, and sometimes the software that makes online communities function. Thoughts in my mind: {Will they accept me? Do i belong here? What is the proper/improper use of the Like function? Have i already screwed up because i’ve never used the Like function once? Will i be flamed if i respond to a thread whose most recent post is 3 years old?}
     
  17. Jan 9, 2019 #37

    loopytheone

    loopytheone

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    DragonFly, I don't think there is such as thing as interacting too much when it's you, you're always a delight to hear from. =)

    Thanks for the thoughts and detailed feedback, Sonic. I've replied to your post in bits so we don't get confused!

    Believe it or not, there used to be about twice as many boards and sub-boards, I've narrowed them down quite a lot since being on the mod team! We have been thinking about ways to condense some more of the boards together to help each board get better traffic/discussion, but it becomes more difficult the more you combine. At the the moment, we are struggling to find many that don't have a specific audience or meet a specific need.

    That is the most likely way we will go about doing it, yes. =)

    Like you said, I think the first few questions are things you tend to think of generally with any site. As for the like system though, it's the same as on facebook! I think a majority of people these days are familiar with likes etc. Interestingly, it actually replaced a more complex system called the Rep System, which I actually preferred, but isn't compatible with the current software.
     
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  18. Jan 9, 2019 #38

    BigElectricKat

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    My bad leaving out Agouderia.
     
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  19. Jan 9, 2019 #39

    AmyJo1976

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  20. Jan 10, 2019 #40

    BouncingBoy

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    I understand your point here completely.I don't recall a lot of names of "those" people but I do remember I went a few rounds with some of them.I'm a member of the old guard that was here when this site was more than just the boards.The problem I've seen with some of the younger bbw/bhm crowd is they don't want to talk openly in chat(as far as places where there is chat).They want to sit back & pick & choose who they want to talk to in private.Also they don't seem to want to talk to the "elders" of the site.They feel it's creepy to be talking to someone more than a few yrs. their senior.How are they going to learn if they don't talk to those who have actually experienced what they're just now going through?
     
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