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Rojodi

***
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Mar 6, 2006
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25 years ago, a young lady passed away, having spent her entire life with Spina Bifida and cerebal palsy. She couldn't communite with her parents and younger sisters, but she did smile when she heard their voices.

She was my landlord's oldest, and when I moved in over them, I was introduced to her. She smiled instantly, something her mother said never happens. From then on, when I'd come into their apartment, she'd light up.

Her name was Mandy.
Stupid Barry Manilow came on Pandora
 

Ms Charlotte BBW

Fantasy Land
Joined
Sep 8, 2013
Messages
1,178
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25 years ago, a young lady passed away, having spent her entire life with Spina Bifida and cerebal palsy. She couldn't communite with her parents and younger sisters, but she did smile when she heard their voices.

She was my landlord's oldest, and when I moved in over them, I was introduced to her. She smiled instantly, something her mother said never happens. From then on, when I'd come into their apartment, she'd light up.

Her name was Mandy.
Stupid Barry Manilow came on Pandora

Awwwww...who knew you were the sentimental type?! (That's a good thing) :happy:
 

Victoria08

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2011
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768
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I was told today that my grandmother passed away last week. I was deprived the opportunity of ever knowing her because of my father's lies. He told us that his parents died in a car crash 30 years ago and it wasn't until I started researching my family history that the truth finally came out - there was no car crash. I still don't know exactly what happened, but my father just left Canada one night and he never spoke to his parents or his brother again. So I never got to know either of my grandparents, and they never knew about me. Hell, they never knew my father was alive and well for all these years - they both died believing that he was 'missing'. I'm angry and I'm sad...I'm grieving for a family member that I never knew. It's just a lot to deal with.
 

Gingembre

radar detector
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Apr 7, 2008
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I was told today that my grandmother passed away last week. I was deprived the opportunity of ever knowing her because of my father's lies. He told us that his parents died in a car crash 30 years ago and it wasn't until I started researching my family history that the truth finally came out - there was no car crash. I still don't know exactly what happened, but my father just left Canada one night and he never spoke to his parents or his brother again. So I never got to know either of my grandparents, and they never knew about me. Hell, they never knew my father was alive and well for all these years - they both died believing that he was 'missing'. I'm angry and I'm sad...I'm grieving for a family member that I never knew. It's just a lot to deal with.

That is a lot to deal with. ((hugs))
 

KHayes666

Go away
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Apr 19, 2007
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I didn't know how good a writer I was until 2009-10. I wish I had known in 2003-04, would have saved me so many years of nothing.
 

dharmabean

♥ ɢrÃ¥тıтuɗɛ
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Sep 30, 2012
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rebelregan,
Without playing the "victim" role or vying to be soothed..

Group therapy tonight was an incredible struggle. A lot of cathartic, real, things were made prevalent to me and my choices. I am now in the processing point of the night and I am finding myself very saddened.
 

CastingPearls

Go Big Or Go Home
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
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Wee Mouse is not right at all. She's unsteady on her feet, losing her appetite and I can't get to the vet until tomorrow morning. It's stressful not knowing what's wrong with her and having to wait till I can see someone :(
Praying for wee Mouse (both of us).

Love you both.
 

x0emnem0x

Words.
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,408
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Midwest
Cancelled plans with some people to hang out with my close friend that I don't get to hang out with often and they cancelled last minute. We were gonna drink and I spent $30 on alcohol so we could just chill and relax all night and then after I had asked him way earlier today to make sure it was okay if he was able to hang out, he cancels last minute saying he can't come. I seriously find it hard to believe I'm so important to people when they can't even keep plans.
 

Saoirse

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Aug 21, 2009
Messages
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So

ugh

I know he's a jerk with depression issues and he always takes his frustrations out on me, but 80% of the time we get along great and have fun and I love hanging with him. I was totally in love with him. COMPLETELY IN LOVE. I would have done absolutely anything for him. He said we will never be together like that, so I accepted it. Recently met an amazing guy who has been treating me so fucking amazingly and we have plans to spend tonight together at his house ;)

He knows Im seeing this new guy. I see jealousy in his eyes. He pretends he doesn't care, but he does. He doesn't want me, but he doesn't want me to be with anyone else. He hasn't said it outright, but his actions are very telling.

Obviously, I want to spend more time with the new guy. I work a bunch of jobs and my free time is limited, so spending more time with new guy means spending less time with old guy.

Haven't seen old guy in a week. I know he's going through some shit (AGAIN) and he's in a panicky, depressed state of mind. He's begging me to go see him after work tonight. He sounds pretty suicidal (AGAIN!!!!) and my very first thought is its just him being weird, like usual. His suicide threats come on a weekly basis and they don't scare me as much anymore.

But what if tonight is the real deal? What if he finally snaps?

I want to spend tonight with awesome new guy. He's absolutely worth my time. The more we talk and hang out, the closer and more comfortable we get and its be such a great experience, after all the asshats I wasted time on.

But old guy will always mean something to me. He's put me through a lot, but the good times we had together will always be with me. I don't know what I would do if he blew a fuse and offed himself. I would be totally devastated.

I guess Im sad that I feel helpless. Im sad that I have to tell him No and just leave it at that. He sounds scared and alone and I have felt that, I know what its like. But I cant let him control my life. And I guess Im kinda angry that he's putting all this weight on me, making me feel terrible and I will be thinking about him all night when I should be focusing on awesome new guy.

w.t.f.
 

Gingembre

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That is tough, Saoirse. An outright "no" sounds wise but, it's easier said than done. If not, could you maybe set a compromise, like, you'll pop round and see him for an hour or so if he wants to talk his shit through, but only an hour because you already have plans? Then you can see him ok, but you need to stick to it and actually leave after an hour/30 mins/whatever time you set?
 

LeoGibson

Happy
Joined
May 22, 2011
Messages
3,507
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The Republic
So

ugh

I know he's a jerk with depression issues and he always takes his frustrations out on me, but 80% of the time we get along great and have fun and I love hanging with him. I was totally in love with him. COMPLETELY IN LOVE. I would have done absolutely anything for him. He said we will never be together like that, so I accepted it. Recently met an amazing guy who has been treating me so fucking amazingly and we have plans to spend tonight together at his house ;)

He knows Im seeing this new guy. I see jealousy in his eyes. He pretends he doesn't care, but he does. He doesn't want me, but he doesn't want me to be with anyone else. He hasn't said it outright, but his actions are very telling.

Obviously, I want to spend more time with the new guy. I work a bunch of jobs and my free time is limited, so spending more time with new guy means spending less time with old guy.

Haven't seen old guy in a week. I know he's going through some shit (AGAIN) and he's in a panicky, depressed state of mind. He's begging me to go see him after work tonight. He sounds pretty suicidal (AGAIN!!!!) and my very first thought is its just him being weird, like usual. His suicide threats come on a weekly basis and they don't scare me as much anymore.

But what if tonight is the real deal? What if he finally snaps?

I want to spend tonight with awesome new guy. He's absolutely worth my time. The more we talk and hang out, the closer and more comfortable we get and its be such a great experience, after all the asshats I wasted time on.

But old guy will always mean something to me. He's put me through a lot, but the good times we had together will always be with me. I don't know what I would do if he blew a fuse and offed himself. I would be totally devastated.

I guess Im sad that I feel helpless. Im sad that I have to tell him No and just leave it at that. He sounds scared and alone and I have felt that, I know what its like. But I cant let him control my life. And I guess Im kinda angry that he's putting all this weight on me, making me feel terrible and I will be thinking about him all night when I should be focusing on awesome new guy.

w.t.f.

I don't know you or him IRL, so take it FWIW, but as an outsider's view on this from the numerous posts you have made about the situation. He strikes me as a whiny, manipulative narcissist. He uses things like that to manipulate you and others into doing his bidding because he doesn't know or want to know how to stand up and be a man and take ownership of the things he does.

I have a couple in my family that are that way. Odds are highly unlikely that they'll ever go through with offing themselves because quite frankly, that type of person is too much in love with their own self to ever harm themselves. They love themselves quite well, it's the people around them that they don't give a shit about other than for what they can do for them.

Break off contact for a while, don't answer texts or calls and they will more likely go on to the next sucker that will let them in their life.
 
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Messages
19,356
Location
Australia
It looks like wee Mouse has had a small stroke. The vet thinks a blood clot caused her wonky behaviour and there's a fear it could happen again. She's had a battery of tests (some still in the works), but her first lot of bloods came back clear. She's just a cat to some, but she could do with good thoughts, prayers and happy vibes right now. If it happens again she may be in a lot of pain, become paralysed....or I may lose her. I'm not ready for that :(
 

Rowan

wickedly delicious
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
3,579
Location
https://www.facebook.com/lori.jarvis.5,
It seems like nearly everything keeps going wrong in both my life and in the life of my mom. It's getting really hard to find anything positive in existence anymore. I am so scared that my mom will do something to hurt herself because suicidal thoughts do run in our family...I worry about this every day lately. I pray all the time that things will get better, but it just seems like they never do and they only continue to get worse and I feel like I myself don't know how much more I can take :(
 

x0emnem0x

Words.
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
2,408
Location
Midwest
9 am class. I have a quiz. Most of which I haven't studied for and the material I don't really know because I've been missing a lot of class lately. And behind on homework. Dropped one class cause I couldn't find the time to keep up and draw like it demanded. Just... this semester is getting worse and worse, and I'm just truly disappointed in myself.
 

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