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Gingembre

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HottiMegan, I just now read your post from a few days ago. I believe you need some professional help with what's going on in your head and in your life. If you are taking medications for mood or anxiety, etc. I fear they are not working as they should. A doctor needs to deal with this and you need counseling by a medical doctor.

I know you & your family have been up and down this road before - but this is different - this time you are the one in need. If you were sick with a fever and broken out in spots all over wouldn't you get help? If you suddenly stopped seeing wouldn't you immediately go to a hospital? If everyone in the room is watching a TV show and the picture and sound are normal - but you cannot see any colors and cannot understand the language, would you suspect something is wrong with your sight and hearing or processing?

A valuable, vivid, beautiful and loving mom like yourself is worth everything you can do to get help - as a wise person once said - you are worth more than rubies or diamonds.

I completely agree.
 

Saoirse

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A person I love is moving away tomorrow morning. I get to see him a bit today, but only to pick him up, since he's borrowing my Jeep while Im at work. I'll see him again tonight, but just to bring him home.

We've had the craziest relationship. We met through friends, started texting, met a few days later. I fell hard. He's intelligent and witty, super handsome and when he's in the lovin mood, its impossible to say no thanks. He's definitely the most adventurous sex partner I've ever had. We did it all over this damn county and it was fun!

But we were never a couple. I told him I loved him and there was a short time where he would say it back, but he never wanted a girlfriend. It made me angry. So we fought a lot and then we would stop talking for a few days. One of us would text the other and we would go on from there, only to have a week of happiness before one of us got pissed about something.

My friends and family dont like him. He's done some pretty fucked up things to me, but Im no angel. I hurt him just as much. It was our cycle and we never broke out of it, even though we both desperately wanted it.

Now he's leaving the state. He hasn't told me where or why, and I don't actually want to know. I think having him disappear will be the most helpful. It will be good to have someone who brings me down, out of my life, but I can't help but cry over all this. We really could've made something special together but it was like the Universe was denying us that chance.

He says he'll still come around. He'll still come visit his family and we can get together, but I dont think he realizes how much traveling I will be doing this coming spring/summer, for my new job. I may not see him at all in the next year. :(

Im trying to keep positive. This means changes for me too. No more fighting, no more hurting, no more hiding things from other people I love, who don't approve. But its pretty difficult, knowing he wont be around to make me laugh when I've had a bad day at work.

Just feels shitty. :(
 

Saoirse

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^^^ reading all that again is making me cry at work. :(


Also I was reminded that tomorrow is my friend/coworker's last day. She's moving to the Virgin Island at the end of the month. Im super happy for her, she's soooo looking forward to something new, but Im going to miss her so much. :(
 

Surlysomething

In Remembrance
In Remembrance
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Jan 12, 2007
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Even if it's for the best it still hurts. Probably almost more because you tried so hard.
Be kind to yourself. Cry it out. Do something nice for yourself.


It will be better before you know it.

-hug-


A person I love is moving away tomorrow morning. I get to see him a bit today, but only to pick him up, since he's borrowing my Jeep while Im at work. I'll see him again tonight, but just to bring him home.

We've had the craziest relationship. We met through friends, started texting, met a few days later. I fell hard. He's intelligent and witty, super handsome and when he's in the lovin mood, its impossible to say no thanks. He's definitely the most adventurous sex partner I've ever had. We did it all over this damn county and it was fun!

But we were never a couple. I told him I loved him and there was a short time where he would say it back, but he never wanted a girlfriend. It made me angry. So we fought a lot and then we would stop talking for a few days. One of us would text the other and we would go on from there, only to have a week of happiness before one of us got pissed about something.

My friends and family dont like him. He's done some pretty fucked up things to me, but Im no angel. I hurt him just as much. It was our cycle and we never broke out of it, even though we both desperately wanted it.

Now he's leaving the state. He hasn't told me where or why, and I don't actually want to know. I think having him disappear will be the most helpful. It will be good to have someone who brings me down, out of my life, but I can't help but cry over all this. We really could've made something special together but it was like the Universe was denying us that chance.

He says he'll still come around. He'll still come visit his family and we can get together, but I dont think he realizes how much traveling I will be doing this coming spring/summer, for my new job. I may not see him at all in the next year. :(

Im trying to keep positive. This means changes for me too. No more fighting, no more hurting, no more hiding things from other people I love, who don't approve. But its pretty difficult, knowing he wont be around to make me laugh when I've had a bad day at work.

Just feels shitty. :(
 

Aust99

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A colleague and friend passed away after a short illness.... Absolutely shocked and completely saddened. Cancer can get fucked!!!
 

Saoirse

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That last time we saw eachother, we hugged tight and said goodbye without crying. He said he'd done enough tearing up that day and getting all sad about it made it seem like we would never see each other ever again. He was right of course, he was always right. I asked him to text me when he got there, so I knew he was safe.

I know he's there, Im assuming he's safe... but he never texted. We haven't talked since that last night. Its breaking my heart. :(

He just made me prove that its possible to cry during a Steppenwolf song. asshole.
 

Tracyarts

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Oct 3, 2005
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I have to be vague about this, and I'm sorry about that.

But somebody close to me is in a pretty serious situation right now. There isn't much I can do to help them at the moment. I've done the little bit that I can. I just have to wait for them to get back to me and let me know what they need and I will do as much of it as I am capable of. But I have limitations.

My husband is completely overwhelmed with his workload right now and has already committed to help his parents with their move into their new home. He doesn't have the time nor the mental energy to help me deal with my friend's problem. Circumstances are such that I have to be discreet with their situation, so I can't just confide in anybody who will listen. I'm pretty much dealing with this on my own.

I feel really helpless and afraid for my friend. It's all a waiting game now until I find out what they need and see how much of it I can help them with. Hopefully tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest I will know where things stand and start helping them work on a plan.
 

penguin

Fnord
Joined
Dec 17, 2010
Messages
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Missing and worrying about someone who means a lot to me, knowing I can't help them. Even if I could, I'm not sure they'd want me to help.
 

Sushi

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I lost two people this year that I thought loved and cared for me but didn't. Yet I still wish that I could be celebrating Christmas with them. I miss what I thought I had. The town I live in is in the middle of a horrible storm of protest and mourning of the murder of two police officers. I wonder if there's ever going to be a day that I don't wake up to horrible news and people being mean and feeling like I can never trust anyone ever again.
 

Allie Cat

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Joined
Dec 1, 2005
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Another Christmas without my family. Thankfully, I did get to spend it with my boyfriend and my non-romantic life partner/sister from another mister... but it still didn't really feel like Christmas. For some reason, it bothers me greatly when the traditions I am used to in my life are discarded.

I've avoided speaking to my mom's ex-girlfriend Carol for about half a year, after she posted an article in support of 'women-born-women'-only spaces on Facebook. The betrayal I felt from her was incredibly painful, she has been a part of my life since I was fifteen years old. Today she texted me asking my address, and I felt obliged to tell her why I was not comfortable giving that to her. She wants to talk to me tomorrow on the phone. I am terrified. I don't think she will understand why what she said was offensive and hurtful.

I am a very fragile, broken person, and I feel like I'm walking on a razor's edge. The presence of a hostile influence like that could push me off. If I do not succeed in educating her, I do not think I can keep her in my life. But losing her for good will hurt almost as much as allowing her to stay.
 

Lamia

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I am feeling sad, even though I had a lovely Christmas. I am just missing my grandparents and my cousins that have passed and just the thought of getting older and losing more people and that if God Forbid I live long enough I will eventually be alone on Christmas, since I decided not to have children

I decided to sing a Christmas song to all of my family and I got so upset and melancholy that I broke down crying in the middle. I did it over, but I am still teary eyed and sad.

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas is really a bittersweet song. I hope it touches you and in our shared sadness we find solace.

https://www.youtube.com/edit?video_id=Sya4EHlYz6g
 

Lamia

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Another Christmas without my family. Thankfully, I did get to spend it with my boyfriend and my non-romantic life partner/sister from another mister... but it still didn't really feel like Christmas. For some reason, it bothers me greatly when the traditions I am used to in my life are discarded.

I've avoided speaking to my mom's ex-girlfriend Carol for about half a year, after she posted an article in support of 'women-born-women'-only spaces on Facebook. The betrayal I felt from her was incredibly painful, she has been a part of my life since I was fifteen years old. Today she texted me asking my address, and I felt obliged to tell her why I was not comfortable giving that to her. She wants to talk to me tomorrow on the phone. I am terrified. I don't think she will understand why what she said was offensive and hurtful.

I am a very fragile, broken person, and I feel like I'm walking on a razor's edge. The presence of a hostile influence like that could push me off. If I do not succeed in educating her, I do not think I can keep her in my life. But losing her for good will hurt almost as much as allowing her to stay.
Hopefully you will be surprised that when someone loves you they sometimes can change their beliefs and become enlightened..I wish you the best.
 

spookytwigg

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My depression is coming on in fairly strong waves at the moment and it's making it really hard to want to go outside or do anything. To make things more fun I now have a vicious cold too. I'm gonna go and pass out for a few days I think.
 

penguin

Fnord
Joined
Dec 17, 2010
Messages
5,238
My daughter is currently in the middle of spending three weeks with her dad, who lives in another state. We talk on the phone Wednesdays and Fridays, and skype on Sundays. Tonight she told me how they're going camping next week, from Monday - Thursday, which I know she loves. There's no mobile reception where they go, so our Wednesday chat is out, which I can handle. But Tuesday is my birthday and we would've had an extra call then. I told her she can wish me a happy birthday on skype this Sunday, but not being able to talk to her on my birthday makes me sad. I am planning on spending as much of next week completely alone now my flatmate has finished his holidays, but I still wanted to talk to her then :(
 

Saoirse

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My best friend just told me he's letting go of his cat today. That poor kitty. He's had a good long life and my bestie loves that cat more than anything, but he's soooo sick and thin and frail. He became very sick about 6 months ago and my bestie and his boyfriend spent a lot of money having tests done and trying all sorts of meds. I dont remember what the issue was (I believe he had some sort of growth on his spine that was inoperable, but there might've been more issues than that). They got him on some steroidal meds and he bounced back for a bit but was never 100%. And within the past month his weight decreased drastically and a few days ago he stopped eating completely.

losing a pet is soooo hard. :(
 

Saoirse

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Ran into a friend today and I haven't seen him in a while so we were catching up. I feel so bad for him. :(

He has 2 kids, but hasn't been with their mother for a few years. She is an addict and was unfit to have custody of her children, so he has them for the majority of the time. She (and her wealthy family) are bringing him to court over child support. She has those kids 2 days a week and wants child support from HIM!! So now he has to come up with $3k for his lawyer to tell this bitch where to stick it. And on top of it, his job let him go cause there was no work, but they've been dicking him around with unemployment pay. Luckily he found another job, but he's still owed money.

This guy definitely has his own demons, but those kids are well taken care of. He busts his ass to make sure they have clothes, food and a warm home. He's an excellent father and I love watching him with his kids. There is so much love in that family!

It just makes me cry, thinking about this shitty situation. I pray it gets resolved quickly.
 

TwilightStarr

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I've been to the ER 4 times the past 2 weeks, because my normal panic attacks have kicked into overdrive and have had me convinced I am dying :(
So now I am on some new meds and trying to get my life back in control but it's a hard fight!! :mad: :(
 
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