What's pissing you off today?

Discussion in 'BHM/FFA' started by Surlysomething, May 16, 2012.

  1. Aug 1, 2017 #2581

    Xyantha Reborn

    Xyantha Reborn

    Xyantha Reborn

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    I feel that way about old people at work - just remember - soon they will be retired or in this case dead. They literally MUST give way, eventually.

    I feel this way about my Aussies - everywhere we go in performance sports people are captivated and are constantly asking who my breeder is. But in the show ring the standard for aussies is becoming gross - a big lab head and a stocky body. A dog who literally couldn't fulfill its purpose. And despite legistlation coming in abot docking tails AND the fact aussies are born with them in many cases, the show ring still calls for docked tails, and i get sideeye for showing them. Oh - and also aussies are NOT supposed to be overgroomed like shelties, but that is a new thing too.

    Even in performance sports people get nasty. One of my dogs is reactive - we spent 4 yrs getting him to focus on me. On sunday this woman was literally tugging her dog overtop him, and i politely asked if she could shift over a few feet because he is reactive. She was all exasperated like "how far is far enough???" And i was like "well...as long as your dogs ass isn't almost touching my dog it should be fine". Idgit.

    At least you had support to get into that world - no one is supporting me in it, and its full of old school, dumbass people who couldn't train a dog out of a wet paper bag, stringing their dogs up on leashes and yelling and jerking around...it's hard for me to even physically be near them or their untrained dogs!!!
     
  2. Aug 1, 2017 #2582

    loopytheone

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    I thought you might empathise, Xy!

    Over here it is illegal to dock dogs tails (or cut ears, for that matter) and I don't understand why it isn't illegal everywhere else.

    Hah, no, I didn't have support to get into that world. It was me that dragged my family headlong into it. People still don't speak to me, they speak to my mum or my sister and act like I don't exist.

    The thing that set me off was about training, actually. We were talking about ramps in shows and my sister commented that it is very bad practise to physically lean/loom over a dog. Cue the 'but x does it and he's shown dogs for 4,000 years!!1!' comments. My sister pointed out that most judges in a show ring don't know the first thing about dog behaviour/body language (and gave the example of our first bitch, who stopped showing for 7 years because of a dumb ass judge). And the show people got really offended, saying my sister has some gall and these people have owned dogs for 14 million years so obviously they know dog behaviour.... because of course, all dog owners know dog behaviour, which is why you never, ever have problem dogs. :rolleyes: And why show dogs are always so calm and well behaved! :rolleyes:

    But yeah, something that really annoyed me was them saying that if your dog shies away when a person looms over them, then they have no place in the show ring. Which is ridiculous. Or that if your dog is reactive or doesn't like other dogs they have no place in the show ring. Which is funny because my Champion bitch and the her two Multi-Champion offspring are all reactive, dislike other dogs and dislike being loomed over. :rolleyes:
     
  3. Aug 2, 2017 #2583

    Dr. Feelgood

    Dr. Feelgood

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    The problem is that they will be giving way to other people who, by that time, will have themselves become old.

    When you get old, you are vulnerable: your body and mind don't work the way they always have, and you feel insecure. So you defend yourself by being stubborn, crabby, and closed to new ideas that confuse and frighten you. You loudly assert that your opinion is the right one because of your age. I believe my character is like my body and my mind: it needs to be kept flexible by exercising it daily, the more so as I age. I struggle daily with my inner curmudgeon and, as anyone who has followed my posts can attest, I frequently lose. But it keeps me busy in my retirement. :)
     
  4. Aug 2, 2017 #2584

    squeezablysoft

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    Men who claim to "love women", but when they talk about how they think of us it's clear that they hate everything about us except our bodies (assuming those bodies are stereotypically attractive, of course). At least the MGTOW set are honest about it.
     
  5. Aug 2, 2017 #2585

    DragonFly

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    You got me.... help. MGTOW can I get a definition of that acronym pretty please?
     
  6. Aug 2, 2017 #2586

    squeezablysoft

    squeezablysoft

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    MGTOW=Men Going Their Own Way. Basically it's when a guy decides he's had it with women and commits himself to being single indefinitely.
     
  7. Aug 2, 2017 #2587

    DragonFly

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    Thanks!!!!
     
  8. Aug 2, 2017 #2588

    Xyantha Reborn

    Xyantha Reborn

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    Very true, sir! I meant it more from the perspective of 'hang on, it WILL get better if you stay', but you are right.

    The world loopy is describing is a world where people lift their dogs up by their necks, snap them in the throat with the leash, knee them violently to get them to stand, and do other horrible things. Even those who are not actively abusive still do things that are likely to cause dog fear and aggression (staring, looming over them, allowing their dogs to be crowded by other hormone fuelled dogs). These people control the sport with an iron fist, and actively seek to kick people who do not cower straight out of the sport. They collude with judges and other breeders to make an impenetrable wall of anger, hate, and intolerance. In my opinion this behaviour isn't because of their age; it is because of the way they were raised.

    For example, these people honestly believe you CANNOT teach a dog to sit or it will NEVER be able to do show handling. Ironically, the aussie is a working breed; my breeder still sighs in love about this show in the USA where an aussie trotted up, straight from herding cattle, shook of the dust, got in the conformation ring, and scored well - then left the ring to go straight into the obedience ring where it did sits and downs. The fact that my dogs know hundreds of commands, compete in dock diving, scent work, agility, obedience, etc etc etc - AND are able to show stack on command does feel them with fear. I think this fear exists regardless of their age, because they have proof they are dead wrong. Though being older certainly does not help.

    But for people who want to stay in the sport, you can either join them, get the hell out, or stand for your morals. Younger folk like loops and I need to stand our ground and be unremittingly cheerful, positive, patient, and supportive of each other so that WE can influence future generations, being the support network for others too fearful to stand alone. When I got into showing I was ripped apart and ripped down by a dozen people, I was told my dogs were terrible. When I started performance sports, I was told my reactive dog was terrible. I held my ground, and now, when the new generation of people want to compete, I make sure I am there to support them. I've had students literally break down in tears because after years of being told their dog was crap because it hated other dogs, they trained with me, took their dogs to a trial, and WON.

    As for work - I know I intimidate the hell out of people, regardless of age. Mostly because I am really good at my job and not afraid to do what is right I've had older people basically tell me straight out that I would NEVER make it. I never fought back, because the truth was that they would be gone soon. They had reached the pinnacle of their career years ago, whereas this job was just a stepping stone for me. Trying to change their minds would be useless; it was about navigating around and bypassing them with tact. Part of what enabled me to keep that calm was understanding that their career would be sun setting in half a decade, and their clouds couldn't dampen me forever. It's like having an abusive parent, and looking forward to your emancipation with determined resolve/the mindset of' this can't happen forever'.
     
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  9. Aug 3, 2017 #2589

    Dr. Feelgood

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    This is a wise person. Would someone please rep her for me?
     
  10. Aug 3, 2017 #2590

    LeoGibson

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    Repped her.
     
  11. Aug 3, 2017 #2591

    loopytheone

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    I got her too. ;)
     
  12. Aug 4, 2017 #2592

    Xyantha Reborn

    Xyantha Reborn

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    Aww thanks guys

    Ps i love the advice i get fron older folk...they have so much wisdom (my favourite was my 64 yr old director smiling and leaning back in his chair and reminding me "it's just a job...don't kill yourself over it.")
     
  13. Aug 7, 2017 #2593

    loopytheone

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    My boss suspending a kid basically because of hearsay and gossip, which had opened my eyes up to many other things at work.

    I don't think I want to be a part of sunday's at the farm anymore. I love it, but I can't sit back and allow ableism, sexism and bullying to be encouraged and supported by the management and say nothing. Especially as we market ourselves on being a place especially for disabled and autistic people to work.

    Going to have a really good talk with my boss later. I consider him a friend but yeah, no, I don't want any of this.
     
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  14. Aug 11, 2017 #2594

    Xyantha Reborn

    Xyantha Reborn

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    Abiding to your ethics keeps you sane! Are you doing it this weekend?
     
  15. Aug 12, 2017 #2595

    loopytheone

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    Yep, tomorrow morning we have a meeting. I've been so anxious I've been ill all week but man, I'm gonna stand up for what is right.
     
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  16. Aug 14, 2017 #2596

    loopytheone

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    Meeting went well, guys. Turns out I'd been given some false information and when my boss explained everything to me fully I understood the situation better. I'm really glad I had that meeting though and that I chose to tackle the situation head on.

    Thankfully for me, my boss is very gentle and understanding. He's absolutely restored my faith in him too, which is wonderful as I consider him a friend.
     
  17. Aug 14, 2017 #2597

    Tad

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    Yay, Loopy ^^^^^^ (great that you made the meeting happen, and great that things worked out well.)
     
  18. Aug 14, 2017 #2598

    lille

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    I'm so glad it turned out well. Confronting a superior at work is not at all any easy thing to do. I'm sure that your boss also appreciates that you chose to speak with him directly about it instead of just leaving or not giving him a chance to explain.
     
  19. Aug 14, 2017 #2599

    Xyantha Reborn

    Xyantha Reborn

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    Yay loops!!!!
     
  20. Aug 28, 2017 #2600

    Tad

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    I was supposed to be receiving severance pay from my former employer until a bit into November, but the expected deposit didn't happen on Friday. I knew that they had furloughed the remaining employees, so I wrote to the CFO to ask if the non-payment had been intentional or accidental (they held off payroll and forgot that it included severance, or something like that).

    Nope, not accidental. They are basically broke, might be filing for bankruptcy, and have no intention of paying what is still owed :-(

    So now I have to find a labour lawyer and see if there is anything I can do. I'm pretty sure that the exercise will just cost me money without ever recouping anything, but I figure it is important to try.

    It doesn't surprise me that I'm getting screwed -- when they offered the severance being paid over time rather than a lump sum I figured that this was a risk. But I wish they'd informed those of us who were still supposed to be getting severance pay, and I'm annoyed about the legal hassle that I should go through. And of course I'd like to have the remaining roughly quarter year of salary equivalent.

    Blah!
     

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