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Tad

Dimensions' loiterer
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The great white north, eh?
The festival I was supposed to be going to in a fortnight just got cancelled. I'm gutted, but mostly pissed off. Now just have to hope it's actually going to get refunded.

That sucks :( I hope you get your refund, and quickly so you have the money for other plans.
 

Librarygirl

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Sep 13, 2011
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Feeling like a shy child at a work social event. These people are good friends but put them all in a room and it's like a nightmare- everyone either talking above my head about stuff I don't know about or having thrilling chats about bus routes! I got the top exam marks in my school and while hopeless at sport and not part of the 'in' crowd, I was always 'the clever one'. Now I work in an area that is not what I studied/ trained for and I spent the evening feeling like a shy child/ decorative airhead. Not to mention they all do painting/ write books etc in their spare time. Then comes a cringy chat where the colleague I used to be close to is grilled by another colleague about something relating to the girlfriend he never usually mentions around me. Ending in this woman teasing him about liking American women (current and previous girlfriends have been from the USA). He didn't respond so she starts asking if his girlfriend is American. Cue me left feeling like I always seem to be the wrong nationality/ religion/ person for whoever I unfortunately fall in love with. Or maybe he isn't indifferent and this was as cringy for him as for me. In any case I was too exhausted from moving house and head injury to manage to make any interesting conversation and then felt violently sick (part of post concussion syndrome) the whole drive home.
 

Rojodi

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Apologists for Ray Rice on sports social media, blaming his fiancee/wife for what he did and those in the media accepting his "apology."
 

Librarygirl

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Thanks! Healthwise better as I finally slept a bit last night. Otherwise, a mixed day. Still hurts beyond belief that I seem to be losing the man I love even as a friend, but was really cheered that my senior manager (who in the past I didn't get on with) bought me a lovely bunch of flowers for my new house. Life has certainly been strange this year.
 

Saisha

Delphinum natare doces
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Letting my defenses down enough to start caring for someone IRL yet he turns out to be a skank and what's worse is the feeling of being vulnerable enough to remember how nice and good it feels to care for someone plus stupidly going down memory lane a bit too much, not so much specifics but just in general. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel so deeply. Takes me a long time to be open to it and once I do, it's very deep. So I'm p.o.'ed at myself for letting myself be this vulnerable.
 

Saisha

Delphinum natare doces
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Shame on him, not on you.

Thank you for the kind thought. Am unsettled I guess - first guy I've been really interested in since my exBF - almost moved to Sweden to be with him but things didn't work out - he got scared because of my heart valve not being as strong as it should be (he became a part owner of an indoor rock climbing gym and is really into the sport) so things flaked - even though we had a very deep emotional connection for a long time - went through a lot together but I guess this other was too much for him - and this latest potential relationship has been too much for me. And I hate allowing myself to be that vulnerable.
 

x0emnem0x

Words.
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
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Location
Midwest
I'm getting a little annoyed with my sister-in-law, as she has been kind of a butt hole lately...

Not only did she yesterday tell me she was talking to someone (basically making fun of me), and said "she (me) broke up with her boyfriend, got healthy and found Jesus" (yes, she was laughing about it as if she was making fun of me - when I'm trying to be serious about all of this! Yes, recently I have been eating healthier, been more active because I know walking helps with depression, too, and I've been trying EVERYTHING to get me out of this depressed state of mind... I have also been more into my faith than I ever have in my life, but all of this isn't because I got dumped! Sure, it had an impact because obviously I got depressed, but it's not why I am doing all of this. So I was annoyed by that yesterday, then last night, she went to hang out with me while I was babysitting our niece. She got there (we drove separate cars), and left like 10 minutes later because my niece was crying (which she is used to, she loves our niece and is used to her cranky side), so she just ditched me, with no real reason.

Then we had plans to go swimming today and I get home, eat and get ready to leave, she texts me and says "don't come over I'm in a bad mood", like okay, not like I wasn't already getting ready and stuff. So she has just been ticking me off and I'm in a bad mood now unfortunately myself and she is ditching me again basically. Like good grief it makes me wonder why I even bother trying to hang out with people. She is my friend but is also my family, so it kind of sucks and frustrates me especially since she is one of the people I hang out with most...

</end rant>
 

Saisha

Delphinum natare doces
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Wishing people would realize I am not the flippin' Wizard of Oz!

5.gif
 

KHayes666

Go away
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I post a picture of my fiancée or something that has to do with her and I get 33 likes and 9 comments.

I post something I wrote from the heart and I get two likes.

Everybody sucks
 

Rojodi

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Yet another young male coming to an interview wearing baggy, saggy pants

UPDATE:

He came in this morning and interviewed with my cousin. She spoke to me, told me he was in a suit. He called me later, thanking me for the opportunity to make a second first impression
 

ODFFA

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Ok..... gender equality is a big deal to me. I have experienced some things.... But I'm not one of those people who thinks it's helpful to throw around the word 'misogyny' or hashtagYesAllWomen all over the place. Though I get angry at things, I make sure I don't step over the threshold into the realm of man-hating.

My brother sent me this today:

View attachment IMG-20140815-WA0000.jpg

At what point is it ok to call someone out for surreptitiously being a dick without being labelled a butthurt feminazi? I get to have an inner struggle over this while others have no problem freely displaying their assholery and calling it humour. It's quite a..... powerless feeling, and I'm utterly sick of it.
 

djudex

I'm out
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At what point is it ok to call someone out for surreptitiously being a dick without being labelled a butthurt feminazi? I get to have an inner struggle over this while others have no problem freely displaying their assholery and calling it humour. It's quite a..... powerless feeling, and I'm utterly sick of it.

To me I think that when you get to the point that it makes you uncomfortable/powerless is a pretty good indicator of when it's appropriate. I tend to tease people and sometimes I can step over that line, I personally have no issues when someone pulls it back and says 'nope, too far' and I try my best to amend my actions in regards to it. Then again, not everyone is capable or interested in doing that so it will always be a gamble but the other option is to feel icky and helpless and that can't be fun.
 

Amaranthine

Adamant Anti-Nihilist
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At what point is it ok to call someone out for surreptitiously being a dick without being labelled a butthurt feminazi? I get to have an inner struggle over this while others have no problem freely displaying their assholery and calling it humour. It's quite a..... powerless feeling, and I'm utterly sick of it.

Humor's a little tricky. I think a lot of the issues happen because it's hard to "empathize" with a sense of humor that isn't at least tangentially related to your own. Especially with more controversial issues, which can be really polarizing depending on how you naturally process information like that.

I'd just say exactly what's going on to him, in a straight-forward but casual way. That you realize he finds things like that humorous and (most likely) he just can't fathom having your reaction to it. It doesn't mean your reaction isn't legitimate, or should get you some shitty stereotypical label. Just that you two have very different reactions to things, and you'd prefer if he would forgo jokes like that.

If he actually has ill-intent behind it, it's a different story. But I think a fair amount of misunderstanding comes in when you have someone who can't take those things seriously (because to them, it's obviously bullshit) and someone who's still more sensitive to it as an overarching issue.

(And if he DOES actually have asshole-rooted ill intent, you can tell him to fuck right off.)
 
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