Gosh, hearing you talk about writing your first fat character takes me right back to when I was a teenager and doing the same thing! I know the thing that really got me into art and drawing was that I could sit and draw fat guys and admire them... I used to do a text based roleplay/story writing thing with a friend as well and I remember my first ever fat character being a part of that, but I was too nervous to ever mention that he was fat, heh. I still have a lot of love for that character, for being a gateway to me opening up to myself about what I liked.Even as a little kid, I was always fascinated by stories where a character would get fat but also sort of disturbed and scared because fat was extremely taboo in my family (which probably just ended up making it even more attractive). I would secretly stare at pictures (mostly of women, because there just weren't many pin-ups or GIFs of fat men). Finally, I wrote my first fat character along with some erotica on the side featuring him (those are on tumblr, same username). Eventually, I realized a)I'm a FFA and b)The total biomass of people who are into this too is... substantial. For a long time I thought I was really strange and weird, love that dare not speak its name etc. Would never have figured it out without the good ol' Internet...
Loopy and Salacious Caitlin, you guys make my younger self feel so much better. I thought I was a freak and completely un-normal as a kid, and actually up until about 5 years ago. I was obsessed with the idea of weight gain and fat, and since I was raised in a health conscious, athletic family, my obsession scared me into shame.Gosh, hearing you talk about writing your first fat character takes me right back to when I was a teenager and doing the same thing! I know the thing that really got me into art and drawing was that I could sit and draw fat guys and admire them... I used to do a text based roleplay/story writing thing with a friend as well and I remember my first ever fat character being a part of that, but I was too nervous to ever mention that he was fat, heh. I still have a lot of love for that character, for being a gateway to me opening up to myself about what I liked.
Dims really helped me as a teen. To see that not only were there happy, fat women enjoying life, but there were all sorts of people like me who thought they were beautiful. I'll always stick around this place out of gratitude to that.
I once had a dedicated notebook in my teens too. I remember being cnfused about the way I felt. No internet and no name for it. My stories and padding were like an attempt for an outlet.. No one found it but I was forced to throw it out when I was almost caught. I became fearful when I lost a comic.. I think at school, Hope it was just casually thrown out.I never EVER wrote a fat related story down on paper because it would turn up into my older sister’s hands, who was a huge snoop. I once dedicated an entire notebook to my fat drawings, and then my sister and her friend found the notebook hidden under my bed. They mocked my detailed masterpiece drawings with their own dumb mediocre drawings on the remaining blank sheets of paper. It’s funny to me now, but I was so mortified then. After that, for my 10th birthday I asked for a white board so I could create my drawings on there and then erase the evidence. No paper evidence meant no dumb sister finding my artwork. But then one night I created a real good one and forgot to erase it, and guess who found it. Then about 5 years ago my husband’s new job prevented him from working out like he used to, and he began to develop love handles. He was a former gym junkie, and I was tired of him complaining all the time about his weight gain. One day after receiving another text complaining about his love handles, I decided I was going to only respond by sending an attached link with exercises on how to get rid of them. I innocently googled something and a plethora of weight gain stories showed up on my search and I almost passed out from hitting gold. So yeah, needless to say, I don’t feel weird anymore. At least not with the topic of weight gain and fat. I’m still weird in general. Like you ladies, I never would have known that others felt the same way I do. I literally grew up thinking I was the only one.
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