Throughout my early, preteen life there were hints, but by the time I was 15, it was clear, I was addicted to big beautiful curves and that hasn't changed, in fact it's expanded past gender. I always want one more taste.
I remember thinking that fat people were wonderful when I was 4 years old. I wanted to grow up to be a fat man. I would stuff pillows and cushions up my shirt.
Then puberty hit and every time that I was watching TV with my father and there was an attractive fat man on the screen, I had to put a cushion or magazine on my lap to hide what the fat man was doing to me.
First realized I was into heavy girls about 12 yrs old when my older female cousin came to live with us. She was about 18-19 and very chubby, with belly rolls. Always in a bikini summer time at the pool, very loose with guys. Fat soft belly and she constantly ate. Been an FA ever since.
As I've said before, I decided that I liked fat people and wanted to be a fat man, when I grew up, at the age of four. But there were two other stages in my development.
The second phase was hitting puberty and realizing that I was sexually attracted to fat men. I still thought that fat women were beautiful but it wasn't the same sort of beauty.
The third phase happened, when I went down town one Saturday morning and saw a handsome man with a huge, protuberant belly. That's how I wanted to be. For me the ideal man not only needs to be fat but most of it needs to be around the belly. This preference has stayed with me throughout my adult life but I still don't know why I have such a preference.
There was also King Sized Homer. Countless nights, as a child, spent replaying that episode in my young mind. Thinking "What if a woman did that? That would be even better! No, no, thats crazy, gaining weight on purpose. Pssshh!" Then my curious mind started to wonder, how does it feel to be them? And more history....
So at the ages 4, 5, or 6 (still cloudy) it was Before pics of women in weight loss commercials, King Sized Homer, weight gain in cartoons (Animaniacs, Tiny Toons), and Hansel and Gretel in school that started it all. OH and some video game commercial where a guy in a resturaunt eats until he explodes.
It was slowly over the course of college that I realized. At first it was just me looking for skinny women with “bigger natural boobs” (never cared for the fake looking ones)
Over time i came to the natural conclusion the a females breasts can only get so big when they just weigh 110 pounds. So the women I searched for just kept getting fatter and fatter.
This developed from just a teenage horny preference for larger breasts to an actual legitimate attraction of fat women in general. What finally made me realize(I had many moments as I was in denial for a while, accept it, then go back into denial) was when I was with a mixed group of friends and we begin joking about who would make a great couple among us (we all had gf/bf’s to some degree but none where in our particular circle (see huge fucking nerds)) and we began talking about how this guy1 likes blonds so he’d probably go for girl 3, and girl 4 and guy 2 both like hiking, stuff like that.
Suddenly I’m broken out of my day dreaming of which of my platonic friends would most likely sleep with each other when one of my friends quipped that I’m always stearing at a really fat girl in one of our classes. I began to say something when they all joined in. I never felt so embarrassed as then(now I laugh like a mad man at how stupid I was about my own attractions). Although I never admitted it to them after that I became the butt of all jokes relating to fat girls.
I’m still in contact with most of them maybe I should send a photo shopped picture of me and a skinny girl and then one of her blown up to really lean into the joke. “Hay so I’ve been dating a girl for about 12 months, here’s some pictures.”
Edit- holy “he has a monologue issue” Batman!
To quote the new Witcher show “why is it when I’m around you all I say more in 5 minutes then I have in the past 5 months?”
Since puberty, I was always attracted to bigger women, but due to societies twisted standards of beauty I was in denial for many years. The first time I made love to a BBW was an amazing experience, I was so much more into it, I was so turned on, the love making was more intense than anything I had experienced before. I realized it was because that was what I was attracted to, and BBW was my gold standard of beauty. It was a very liberating, and beautiful experience.