Where does the WANT to be fat come from?

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shadowcat

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Based on things Ive read, weve been living in our ancient way of life longer than our modern way of life. During ancient times, food was much more scarce. A fat person at that time = Abundance, wealth, security, survival, and health. But where does someones want to be fat come from? The same things but in reverse? Did people back then ever think, "Only if I was fat someone will desire me", a reverse of what thin is today? Or did some of our ancient ancestors endure a famine hanging on to every little scrap they found? And it burned its way into our DNA.
I have a little fat belly and I love looking down and seeing how much it bulges out, how it feels pressing against my shirt, feeling the roundness, and wishing there was more. But no, I must not.
Is it the forbiddeness?
Or are we just strange?

 

Tad

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The great white north, eh?
I think it comes much like other preferences, kinks, and fetishes (liking/wanting to be fat can be any of those, I think).

What that is? I don't really know. I'm not sure that anyone knows for sure, although I'm sure many people know about it more than I do.

From what I do understand, a lot of this stuff forms during pre-school years. We have a few years with somewhat heightened gender related hormones when we are little, during which time it may be that a lot of the details of what we like get set. But how we take what is around us and turn that into wanting to be fat or whatever, I certainly have not a clue.
 

shadowcat

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I think it comes much like other preferences, kinks, and fetishes (liking/wanting to be fat can be any of those, I think).

What that is? I don't really know. I'm not sure that anyone knows for sure, although I'm sure many people know about it more than I do.

From what I do understand, a lot of this stuff forms during pre-school years. We have a few years with somewhat heightened gender related hormones when we are little, during which time it may be that a lot of the details of what we like get set. But how we take what is around us and turn that into wanting to be fat or whatever, I certainly have not a clue.

Thanks! The mind is so strange... Just something Ive been asking myself (and struggling with) for the past 20 years.
 

FlabbyFrank

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IMO intentially trying to gain hundreds of pounds is a lot different than just letting yourself go and not being concerned about weight gain
 

agouderia

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As someone with a family background in history, I would disagree with the explanation that some of us have a more "ancient" mindet.

First of all, it's a myth that fat was always prized in history back to antiquity.
There are historic periods, that valued a fuller to fat physique, but it is not consistent. Long periods of history were also totally anti-body and did not deal with the human form at all. What you also have to consider - you very rarely found extremely fat people in historic times due to living conditions. Shakespeare's Falstaff was truly a fictional character. Even Ruben's personas are in today's "overweight" category, not Dims fat.

I do think Tad has a point that it probably has something to do with early wiring.

Personality wise, it has the element of having an anarchistic streak - of not accepting social norms. An extreme conformist would not even admit liking fat to him/herself.

It might also be related to having a more primal connection to your own body. After all, the texture of fat feels comforting to touch. Fullness is a relaxing, agreeable feeling.
 

FlabbyFrank

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I like this line

The texture of fat feels comforting to touch

I couldn't sum it up better in a million years !

That is precisely why I so enjoy lovehandles, but couldn't express so eloquently in a sentence.

I am going to steal that line

Bravo !


.
 

Shotha

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I think that the urge to grow bigger or fatter is a very primal urge and that it is present to some extent in all of us. It explains how most teenagers desire to eat more than most adults - to put on that final growth spurt. Life for most mammals would have been impossible without fat and many mammals fatten themselves up for winter. So the urge to grow big is there in almost all of us especially at some point in their lives.

As evolution or Mother Nature doesn't work with specification manuals for producing organisms, including human beings, some of us have this urge to a greater or lesser extent than others. As the presence of the urge to be fat would not help in evolutionary terms, if fat people could not find partners, we also have an urge to value fat on someone else, again with a great deal of variation in the amount of it that we like. If no one wanted a fat partner we would just fail to reproduce. We have to remember that evolution works randomly. It is geared up for the "survival of the fittest", which simply means that those with the qualities that most enable them to survive in their environment are the ones most likely to survive. If the environment favours big, fat people's survival, then big, fat people will be the "fittest" and will survive. This has already happened with some human population groups. Climate change may bring about the same situation again. In regions hit by drought and famine, those inclined to gain weight will have the advantage in terms of survival over those who do not.

So, I think that we are all programmed to have an urge to put on weight and an attraction to fat but in some of us those urges are greater than in others. And there are people who are greatly endowed with the one urge but moderately endowed with the other urge. Hence, we meet people, who like to get fat but want a slim partner, and we meet people with no urge to be fat but attracted to fat partners.

I do not have any ideas on the extent, to which psychological factors affect these urges. However, I believe that life experience varies and brings us to greater or lesser realization of what we like and at different stages in life. I believe that meeting a particularly attract fat person, or realizing that we share our urges with others, the degree to which we accept or reject societal norms, intellectual reasoning (e.g. "It doesn't hurt anyone.") all contribute to when we come out or whether we come out at all. These influences also affect LGBTI people and explain why some of us realize that we are gay at puberty and others don't realize their inclinations until old age. Some of us are more afraid of coming out than others, whether we are coming out about being gay, being an FA or being a gainer.
 

shadowcat

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As someone with a family background in history, I would disagree with the explanation that some of us have a more "ancient" mindet.

First of all, it's a myth that fat was always prized in history back to antiquity.
There are historic periods, that valued a fuller to fat physique, but it is not consistent. Long periods of history were also totally anti-body and did not deal with the human form at all. What you also have to consider - you very rarely found extremely fat people in historic times due to living conditions. Shakespeare's Falstaff was truly a fictional character. Even Ruben's personas are in today's "overweight" category, not Dims fat.

I do think Tad has a point that it probably has something to do with early wiring.

Personality wise, it has the element of having an anarchistic streak - of not accepting social norms. An extreme conformist would not even admit liking fat to him/herself.

It might also be related to having a more primal connection to your own body. After all, the texture of fat feels comforting to touch. Fullness is a relaxing, agreeable feeling.
I think that the urge to grow bigger or fatter is a very primal urge and that it is present to some extent in all of us. It explains how most teenagers desire to eat more than most adults - to put on that final growth spurt. Life for most mammals would have been impossible without fat and many mammals fatten themselves up for winter. So the urge to grow big is there in almost all of us especially at some point in their lives.

As evolution or Mother Nature doesn't work with specification manuals for producing organisms, including human beings, some of us have this urge to a greater or lesser extent than others. As the presence of the urge to be fat would not help in evolutionary terms, if fat people could not find partners, we also have an urge to value fat on someone else, again with a great deal of variation in the amount of it that we like. If no one wanted a fat partner we would just fail to reproduce. We have to remember that evolution works randomly. It is geared up for the "survival of the fittest", which simply means that those with the qualities that most enable them to survive in their environment are the ones most likely to survive. If the environment favours big, fat people's survival, then big, fat people will be the "fittest" and will survive. This has already happened with some human population groups. Climate change may bring about the same situation again. In regions hit by drought and famine, those inclined to gain weight will have the advantage in terms of survival over those who do not.

So, I think that we are all programmed to have an urge to put on weight and an attraction to fat but in some of us those urges are greater than in others. And there are people who are greatly endowed with the one urge but moderately endowed with the other urge. Hence, we meet people, who like to get fat but want a slim partner, and we meet people with no urge to be fat but attracted to fat partners.

I do not have any ideas on the extent, to which psychological factors affect these urges. However, I believe that life experience varies and brings us to greater or lesser realization of what we like and at different stages in life. I believe that meeting a particularly attract fat person, or realizing that we share our urges with others, the degree to which we accept or reject societal norms, intellectual reasoning (e.g. "It doesn't hurt anyone.") all contribute to when we come out or whether we come out at all. These influences also affect LGBTI people and explain why some of us realize that we are gay at puberty and others don't realize their inclinations until old age. Some of us are more afraid of coming out than others, whether we are coming out about being gay, being an FA or being a gainer.
Thanks!! Much better and made more sense than anything I could think of.
 

extra_m13

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that is actually a good question but i think the answer is as with so many other personal aspects related to taste... just a personal matter. anorexia, the ever wanting need to be thinner its a disorder for sure, now... doesn't matter how you call it but the ever wanting need and desire to get fatter is basically the same. i understand that we have some preferences as to how we look better to ourselves and that may be in the chubby side but there are some reasonable boundaries for sure. personally i think the most important thing is to feel happy with that we are and what we have every morning. because we really have only one body in this life so you better enjoy it, if you like it fat, make it fat, if not, well... you know what to dou
 

HungryGirl

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I've always wondered this myself. I have had this preference since I was a little kid. I would stuff my barbies clothes to make them fat and I'd stuff my own shirt. There was nothing erotic about it then that's just what I liked to do.

As a teen, enjoying some private time, I'd make up stories akin to the princess and the pea. Except in my version, the travelling princess would hurt herself in some way and be unable to move for months. The queen and prince would feed her whatever her heart desired and she didn't realize how fat she'd become until she was healed.

Then in my late teens, I found the dimensions website. I was totally blown away. I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't. I mean learning thar I wasn't the only person who has these feelings was foundational for me.

I have learned that I am kind of in the minority of a minority. I am a woman who loves being fed and getting fatter. I like to be teased and forced and role play. I also love reading stories and watching videos about other women gaining weight. I'm married to a man, whom I love and find incredibly sexy but I only fantasize that way about women.

I would also love to know why I am wired this way
 

HungryGirl

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I don't know how to edit my post but I do want to add something. I don't know if it always comes from the appreciation of feeling fatness. I was thin from birth to 18. My family was also thin. I didn't really have a lot of fat people around me. The only fatter person I had a crush on was one of my best friends as a teenager. She was gorgeous. But I already established having this preference before I met her. To me, it just felt like something I was born preferring. From my earliest childhood memories, it just felt normal to me.
 

Marshmallow Minotaur

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I have no idea why this happened, given that I always wanted to lose weight. I was a powerlifter until some non-gym injuries sidelined that. I still lift though.

At some point I became attracted to fat guys and wanted to look like them. But then I didn’t. Then I did. Then I didn’t. Now I’m gaining, liking it and barring any health-related reasons to lose, I’m going to keep gaining.

So, I really don’t know where it comes from.
 

LarryTheNoodleGuy

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I've always wondered this myself. I have had this preference since I was a little kid. I would stuff my barbies clothes to make them fat and I'd stuff my own shirt. There was nothing erotic about it then that's just what I liked to do.
Well! That's pretty adorable! :)

I stuffed my own shirt when I was 12 and I know others, both men and women, who did the pillows, but I never met anyone who stuffed their dolls' clothes.
 

kgainer

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I don't know where it comes from but I am certain that I was hard-wired from the start to be aroused by the idea of becoming fat. As a small boy I was fansinated by boys who were obese. I got to know them so I could study them close up but even then what I really wanted was to become obese like them. At that time I did not know that this was to become a permanent obsession. As a young teen I still thought that it was a passing phase and that I would grow out of it. I even tried to cure myself of the obsession and put it out of my mind. For a time it worked but the obsession and the sexual arousal that came from it returned each time even stronger and more compelling than before. By my mid teens I accepted that I was a gainer (although I am not sure that I had yet heard of the term) and realised that my fetish was here to stay: I could give into it and become fat or suffer with it and continue to be skinny. Thank goodness, with the help of a really great encourager, I started my gaining. Within about two and a half to three years I had gone from a normally skinny teenager to a morbidly obese twenty one year old and I have continued to put on more weight, much more, since then.

I cannot explain the attractions of being super obese. Logically it should be something to be avoided. There is a social stigma attached to being very fat: you lack any self control, self esteem and are an evident loser. But I like to be treated that way with a mixture of contempt and pity. There are many inconveniences being morbidly obese in what you can wear, into what you can fit and physically what you can manage to achieve. These challeges and limitations are part of the turn on. Now, as is to be expected, I am starting to develop serious health conditions that will certainly mean that I will be on medication for the rest of my life. This should worry me but instead it has given an extra excitement. Maybe I am just mad but there does not appear to be anything I can do about it.
 

LarryTheNoodleGuy

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When I heard the soundtrack to "Oliver" when I was 7, my mind exploded when I heard the lines in "Food, Glorious Food" -

"Just thinking of growing fat/Our senses are reeling/One moment of knowing that/Full-up feeling."

I loved my body when it was skinny-skinny and fit and tight, and equally when it was mushy and folded over and stomach bulging out of my shirts. I loved being lighty teased by women I was dating, who loved me for me but also my "big fat tummy" as one lover sweetly put it - sending me over the moon - or being called a "bear" a year ago by a tiny little creature I was lucky enough to date for awhile. (I love all shapes and sizes, from tiny to supersize)

For me it's more a question not of "Where does the WANT to be fat come from?"
but "Why does it bug some others so much??" Part of wanting to be fat, too, is precisely BECAUSE it bugs others, but that's just the contrarian in me. :)
 

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