Why Are You Here???

[bigsexy920]

I happen to know that Nancy likes regular M&M's and the crunch bite chocolate things

Im the salty buttery popcorn girl

MMM works for me...but I'm the fat one, let me do the rollin'





Sorry, lame joke but I'm ready to move on from stunned to laughing.

 

[Chimpi]

MMM works for me...but I'm the fat one, let me do the rollin'

I'm fat, too. I might even give you a run for your roll(s).
Lame jokes aside, rolling is more fun when it's rolled up with goodness.
Like being fat. And rolling.
Period.

....
I think the butter might be useful outside of the popcorn.


How's that for a lame joke?

 

[Famouslastwords]

This just in, Justin (haha just in, Justin) says I do in fact have cankles.

Wow, I must be disgusting.

 

[Wagimawr]

I don't believe you. Prove it.

 

[Famouslastwords]

I will! Just you wait Henry Higgins.

 

[Wagimawr]

Just started a thread:
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=40650

 

[bigsexy920]

I hope this thread gets the lock down. Too much hurt really - all has been said - time to move on.

 

[NancyGirl74]

Join us on the buttery, salty, popcorn, chocolate thingie, stunned, laughing couch, Berna.

 

[TraciJo67]

I've had opinions about this drama but I haven't been posting about it. The reason is I think those who are offended have the right to be feel as offended as they are. The argument that "everyone's been fucking cruel at someone's expense" doesn't hold for me.

I wasn't so much offended by the exchanges between the two Loves as shocked - to learn that that's how they really think. Both of them had put up a good front. I was surprised that one of them was so stupid as to mistakenly send it to someone else. But I feel the women who really feel hurt by it have the right to feel as they do - it's not for us to say.

Agreed.

I don't feel hurt by it, because I refuse to let strangers have that much power over me. I am not judging those who do -- especially not the intended targets. And just so we're clear, I wasn't excusing *anyone* (including myself) by saying that we're all cruel, so let's let them off the hook. It's nasty, cruel behavior ... and it is nasty, cruel behavior when *I* indulge in it, or when anyone else does. I just happen to believe that to one extent or another, we all indulge. I absolutely know that it is true of some of the people who are, this very moment, outraged by LovesBHMS & Love Dubh's remarks. I know it, because they've made snide remarks about other people *to me*. Does it make it any better that it wasn't fat-bashing? That it was, for example, pointing out a perceived character flaw in someone? Or poking fun at someone's fashion choices?

The point is (at least to me), the remarks *did* get out. The parties involved weren't discreet enough. At least one of them copied, pasted, and then FORWARDED the remarks to someone else who hadn't been involved in the conversation. Whether she intended to forward it to the person who then leaked it isn't the issue ... the fact remains that she hit the 'send' button, and she has to own that responsibility. She cannot hide behind a claim to privacy. When she made the conscious choice to send her own words to someone else, she lost a right to that claim.

I would have more empathy for both of them if they'd have simply acknowledged that they made a terrible mistake, apologized profusely, and then quietly sat back to see if there was going to be a chance to redeem themselves. Instead, I watched them both make snide remarks in their avatars, snide remarks to other people, and excuses for why they said what they did.

Finally, there is the nature of the remarks. This isn't about a general dislike for two people. The remarks are themselves indicative of a deep loathing for very fat people in general. I have to wonder, if they feel this way, why *do* they belong to Dims?

 

[Tina]

I think that we can all lock it down ourselves, that it shouldn't have to be locked. We all can decide where we will draw the line for ourselves, and that those who are only out to provoke should be ignored and not given the power to keep turn things even uglier than this already is.

I don't think we should need to be saved from ourselves.[/mod]

 

[bigsexy920]

I guess for me it is the train wreck thing. I cant stop watching it. But I'll try

 

[Tina]

I understand, Berna, truly.

But personally, and as a mod, I feel that if this thread has to be locked because of back and forth nastiness, it makes the initial subject even worse. It also allows someone who only wants to be divisive to claim a sort of victory.

 

[SummerG]

If they were proud of themselves they wouldn't crack from the comments of two anonymous posters on a messageboard.

This is not someone getting upset because someone they didn't know from adam posted an anti-fat blog for the world to see. These two posters are *not* anonymous. They have befriended people beyond the pixels of an online forum. They have attended events, they have smiled through their own disgust and have deceived many. That they were found out and people are now able to make judgment on if they remain friends with them is completely personal. Lessons learned, I believe on both sides.

 

[saucywench]

I think she just meant if they were confused, they could look in their own history to see how it happened.... not suggesting that someone else do so... and that is not possible - to be clear.

Yes, of course that is what I meant. But of course, you, AnnMarie, an astute, logical, and well-reasoned person (among others here), would know that without question.

 

[Waxwing]

Yes, of course that is what I meant. But of course, you, AnnMarie, an astute, logical, and well-reasoned person (among others here), would know that without question.

Jesus I'm sorry. I misinterpreted. This has all been a little confusing so forgive me if I misread one sentence.

 

[Tooz]

Jesus I'm sorry. I misinterpreted. This has all been a little confusing so forgive me if I misread one sentence.

No, see, this whole thing has massive collateral damage.

 

[rainyday]

Does that mean they should be black listed forever...?

In a word, yes. Resoundingly yes.

Nevermind banning. Now that their true colors are known, why would anyone want to continue to respond to their posts anyway? Once spotted, one doesn't step in a pile of steaming ****. One steps over it.

 

[Tooz]

Especially with the defense of deplorable behavior.

Wow. I can't even think of anything else to say that won't get me banned.

 

[LoveBHMS]

Agreed.

I don't feel hurt by it, because I refuse to let strangers have that much power over me. I am not judging those who do -- especially not the intended targets. And just so we're clear, I wasn't excusing *anyone* (including myself) by saying that we're all cruel, so let's let them off the hook. It's nasty, cruel behavior ... and it is nasty, cruel behavior when *I* indulge in it, or when anyone else does. I just happen to believe that to one extent or another, we all indulge. I absolutely know that it is true of some of the people who are, this very moment, outraged by LovesBHMS & Love Dubh's remarks. I know it, because they've made snide remarks about other people *to me*. Does it make it any better that it wasn't fat-bashing? That it was, for example, pointing out a perceived character flaw in someone? Or poking fun at someone's fashion choices?

The point is (at least to me), the remarks *did* get out. The parties involved weren't discreet enough. At least one of them copied, pasted, and then FORWARDED the remarks to someone else who hadn't been involved in the conversation. Whether she intended to forward it to the person who then leaked it isn't the issue ... the fact remains that she hit the 'send' button, and she has to own that responsibility. She cannot hide behind a claim to privacy. When she made the conscious choice to send her own words to someone else, she lost a right to that claim.

I would have more empathy for both of them if they'd have simply acknowledged that they made a terrible mistake, apologized profusely, and then quietly sat back to see if there was going to be a chance to redeem themselves. Instead, I watched them both make snide remarks in their avatars, snide remarks to other people, and excuses for why they said what they did.

Finally, there is the nature of the remarks. This isn't about a general dislike for two people. The remarks are themselves indicative of a deep loathing for very fat people in general. I have to wonder, if they feel this way, why *do* they belong to Dims?

For the last time.

Given that both LD and I have said we are deeply sorry and embarassed by this, neither of us intentionally forwarded the PMs to anyone.

We both sat back and said nothing but that was not enough.

We each issued apologies. I issued a second one as well as numerous very detailed and personal PMs to people I knew I had offended.

Neither of us wanted this to happen. We both feel awful. We both admit that and we have each gone into detail in private about where our feelings are.

The collateral damage done is sad. I once again deeply regret that my own personal bias and prejudice has hurt people who trusted me.

I'm sorry.

 

[butch]

For the last time.

Given that both LD and I have said we are deeply sorry and embarassed by this, neither of us intentionally forwarded the PMs to anyone.

We both sat back and said nothing but that was not enough.

We each issued apologies. I issued a second one as well as numerous very detailed and personal PMs to people I knew I had offended.

Neither of us wanted this to happen. We both feel awful. We both admit that and we have each gone into detail in private about where our feelings are.

The collateral damage done is sad. I once again deeply regret that my own personal bias and prejudice has hurt people who trusted me.

I'm sorry.

Look, no matter how hurt and angry I am about the whole thing, i do appreciate this apology. I may not be able to accept it right now (and of course, I'm only one person, so does it even matter if I accept it or not? Who knows?), but I am grateful to read this.