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elle camino

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ok i'm going to phrase this as gingerly as i can, but here goes:
i was fat in high school too. like, really fat. so i know. i was picked on constantly, so i've got those memories too. and they may not be the exact same as every other fat teenage kid, but they're close enough. and i can see that shit rearing it's head in my relationships with my friends and the way i relate to the world in at large, in small ways here and there, still to this day. so again: i know.
but i keep seeing all this crap in this thread about cliques and popular girls and exclusion and whatnot and it's just...guys, seriously. you're tilting at windmills. this PM in question was an shitty and mean and understandably hurtful to many, nobody's denying that - not even it's authors. but i seriously doubt there's some vast, organized cabal of traitorous skinny girls who thrive on talking shit about all the fatties on dimensions. that kind of conclusion just seems so bizarre to leap to, here. i mean the situation already sucks, but why are some people so determined to make it suckier through rumors and hyperbole?
 

Jane

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Elle, my post on "cliques" was the first I had read mentioning them. If there were others, I failed to pick up on them.

I was popular enough in high school and fat. I went to a very small school. I was kidded about it, but no more than anyone else was kidded about anything else. However, I'm well aware many of the people on this board tolerated miserable childhood/teenaged years due to bullying.

I certainly don't think there is a "vast, organized cabal of traitorous skinny girls who thrive on talking shit about all the fatties on dimensions."
I think tasteless, cruel remarks were made, they became public, and many people have felt that same sense of betrayal they did in high school.

It's just sad.
 

elle camino

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well hey, on all that we agree, then. even the part about having a generally pretty good time in high school, despite the jerks. and i'm glad we do because i have always dug the heck out of you, jane. sorry i overreacted, if that wasn't what you were saying.

but yeah, there have been other mentions of the secret no-fatties dims PM mafia or whatever, in this thread. one of which was deleted, thankfully.
nothing like yelling earthquake during a fire evacuation.
 

Jane

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Oh, God, no. If I thought there was a fattie-hating Mafia, I'd have to track them down.

(Sometimes I don't read all the posts, or most of some posts. I get a general idea of what is being said and move on. I was also late to the party.)

My IRL best buddy and I can vent and trash with the best of them, but our rants are about things people can change and don't. They are about rudeness, using other people, and the general lack of social skills and failure to observe the Golden Rule that goes on in political circles. And she knows venting to me means that at some time in the future, I will directly face these people and tell them exactly what I think.
 

LillyBBBW

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well hey, on all that we agree, then. even the part about having a generally pretty good time in high school, despite the jerks. and i'm glad we do because i have always dug the heck out of you, jane. sorry i overreacted, if that wasn't what you were saying.

but yeah, there have been other mentions of the secret no-fatties dims PM mafia or whatever, in this thread. one of which was deleted, thankfully.
nothing like yelling earthquake during a fire evacuation.

It is naive to think that we're just one big family of hand holders who don't talk secretly in PM land about things we read on the board and people who piss us off. I certainly do. People and posts who irritate me I sometimes discuss in private and I have friends who do the same. Clique? No. Just frustrated people letting off steam with people they know will relate and not go apeshit. However all it takes in one pissed off person and my shit is on front street so I watch what I put to print and I'm mindful not to say anything that will come back to bite me in the ass. My nastier tirades are reserved for in person only. One of the lessons here should be to never put it in writing.
 

bexy

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Not defending the actions, more disagreeing with the sort of witch trial thing. Can't deny that the similarities are eerie. People who don't side with the mob get the ...lake! I guess.

this is where i stand too tooz. not defending actions, can understand the things said were hurtful to people. totally get it.
however it has spiralled too much and you would think the 2 loves had killed someone the way things are going.

i certainly dont wanna fall out with anyone on this board. but i also cant let tooz stand alone and be berated for expressing her honest opinion.
 

Sandie_Zitkus

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I have to say this - this is not a direct attack at you Lilly, cause I think you are the cats meow!

A long time ago, I used to participate in the back room gossip. I then was attacked on a board for things I sais in private that were sent to others. I learned a BIG lesson from that and it's the main reason I don't participate in back room conversations anymore - not in a long time.

I learned:

Nothing is private online - EVER!

The people you trust may not actually like you at all.

This is the Internet - I don't know these people.

Gossip is mean. It just is.


I wasn't popular in HS, I wasn't popular as a young woman, and I'm not popular here. I prefer it that way. I think in the fat community there is a certain amount of "I can be popular now!" attitude. And for some it is important to be liked and to be "known" - it gives people a certain amount of power they never had. Hey, it's human nature.

But my point? I don't know. lol

Back room gossip is hurtful. Even thought I am not a part of the groups of friends here, I know exactly how to get the info I want about anyone here. It's not that hard. Why? Because NOTHING IS PRIVATE ONLINE.



It is naive to think that we're just one big family of hand holders who don't talk secretly in PM land about things we read on the board and people who piss us off. I certainly do. People and posts who irritate me I sometimes discuss in private and I have friends who do the same. Clique? No. Just frustrated people letting off steam with people they know will relate and not go apeshit. However all it takes in one pissed off person and my shit is on front street so I watch what I put to print and I'm mindful not to say anything that will come back to bite me in the ass. My nastier tirades are reserved for in person only. One of the lessons here should be to never put it in writing.
 

Forgotten_Futures

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Ummm... I know I'm ridiculously late here, and my presence on board in the past few months has been... almost nonexistant... but would one or more someone(s) please tell me what the heck is going on here?
 

largenlovely

Still a Fat Girl lol
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You always have to risk what is said in private will be made public. Yes, we have all said things we shouldn't have, but as Lilly said, when you're busted ya own up to it, explain and apologize. Does that mean the person will forgive you and trust you all over again? absolutely not

The problem with what has been said is that it defies everything this community stands for, which is why everyone is so outraged. What i read of the emails, it didn't seem like normal "trashing". It seemed like sickened disgust of what we are ....fat women.

I am not sure who to be more upset with...a person (lovebhms) who is supposed to be a part of this communtiy of acceptance, or someone (lovedubh) who has no inkling of what this community is about and just wants to use us for a weird experiment. Though...knowing that lovedubh was at our last bash at the pool party, and having discovered this new information...well...it's like we were all circus freaks on display for her own amusement. I admit to feeling pretty betrayed.

This is a place where we are supposed to feel safe from this type of harassment. If these two had been "trolls" that nobody knew, it would be quite a different situation. Though as someone else said, i'd rather deal with trolls because at least we openly know how they feel. This was from within our own ranks and that makes the betrayal twice as upsetting.
 

BothGunsBlazing

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Ummm... I know I'm ridiculously late here, and my presence on board in the past few months has been... almost nonexistant... but would one or more someone(s) please tell me what the heck is going on here?

some of these DIMwits actually prefer Sammy Hager over David Lee Roth.

Seriously.

WTF.
 

TheSadeianLinguist

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Love the post, Miss Saucy.

I'm here because I think it's important for those outside the dominant paradigm to get a chance at fair social and political treatment, and because a physical difference that hasn't been popular for awhile shouldn't make people feel limited in their beauty or sexuality. It's kinda simple, but that's it. /boring
 

LisaInNC

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Ok, I realize that this may seem like a witch hunt, but the fact is, these girls betrayed everyone. Yes, it was a private conversation and yes it was none of our business, but now it is our business because it has been made public. I was told once, "never do in the dark what you dont want to come to light" because of this very reason. You will always be found out. So while it may seem rational to say WE are in the wrong because these girls never meant for us to find out that they secretly dislike fat...lets be serious here...the people who are defending them...are people who are their friends...and are doing what friends are supposed to do, but if it were someone they didnt like who had said those things, I seriously doubt they would be so willing to forgive.

The conspiracy theorist in me has a feeling these girls wanted this info out there...I mean how do you screw up an email like that? In some secret not trusting people way...I think they did this to divide and conquer...."Look at us...we took down a whole message board". Like I said...just a theory.

I honestly think we have given these two way too much attention now...and say either we choke the shit out of them...or get on with being happy. If they wanna come here and make fun of us to make themselves feel better...then let em. It is not good for us to upset ourselves. Karma has a funny way of coming back and biting people in the ass, so I say let karma handle it and lets get back to laughing and having a good time here. I dont wanna become "Bitter, party of 1" because two small minded people decided to usurp my safe haven.

The Big Lebowski has spoken...(heh I wanted to copy Aris and thats the only other Big I could come up with)
 

Santaclear

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It's amusing that while some are yelling about "privacy", the Loves, as brilliant as they apparently believe they are, are the ones who outed themselves. :) No one went snooping in their pms to find this material. One of them sent it to someone, evidently by mistake. And it's so puerile and totally contradictory to the images they cultivated on the boards.

I didn't pay them much mind before this and I'm not hurt or feeling particularly betrayed since I barely cared about them. But it's not about me.

To me it's a reminder that what you see (especially on the internet) isn't always what you get.

Thanks for the entertainment, girls!
 

SilkyAngela

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Why am I here?

Because I am fat and feel welcome and I love people...probably should say especially fat people, but really I just like genuine and kind people whatever size they come in. I like the diversity of interests represented here at Dims so I plan on sticking around. Unless the mods or the mob hang me. ;)

Someone asked me the other day why I'm always happy and eager to laugh and smile. My answer? I'm working on being the best me I can be, that keeps me so busy that I don't start shit or entertain shit. Not saying my life is entirely drama-free, but it is lite on the drama, heavy on the lovin. :smitten:

Just saying, it makes for a simple, pleasant, and fulfilling life and I recommend it highly.
 

Tooz

sweet chocolate christ
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If there is to be any punishment, perhaps it should be voted on, by means of a poll?

I had told myself I would be quiet, but I have to say I think that isn't a good idea. It would further the rift that has been created. We should just let it die. I really don't think they will want to be spending more time here anymore anyway.
 

TheSadeianLinguist

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Bottom line: A public crucifying isn't worth fuck all.

Someone said something very childish. It's not the first time and it's not the last. It's distasteful as hell, but God knows I've said some distasteful shit. And we all have to take the naturally consequential, "Wow, you're a bitch for saying that. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Everyone pays a price for what they choose to do and say, including those quick to "punish."
 

Wild Zero

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FoxNewsWhat.jpg


Feels like I just stubbed my toe on Ozymandias' pedestal.

Gotta say that putting banhammers in the hands of board members is one of the fastest ways to kill a vibrant community, watched it destroy a number of forums I used to visit and moderate and I wouldn't like to see that happen here.
 

Sandie_Zitkus

In Rememberance
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Yeah but - you're a bitch - we expect distasteful things from you!

You know I love ya sweetcakes!:wubu:



Bottom line: A public crucifying isn't worth fuck all.

Someone said something very childish. It's not the first time and it's not the last. It's distasteful as hell, but God knows I've said some distasteful shit. And we all have to take the naturally consequential, "Wow, you're a bitch for saying that. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Everyone pays a price for what they choose to do and say, including those quick to "punish."
 
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