Why Are You Here???

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Santaclear

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You guys can sit here and bitch about what two people said and be ideal about the internet all you want-- it doesn't change anything. Two wrongs do not make a right at the end of the day.

Have fun being victims, guys. This thread is really not going anywhere. I tried to be nice and reasonable, but I am now tired of catching flack because I don't agree with your treatment of people, regardless of what they did.

Once again, it isn't two wrongs. Calling the Loves (lol) out for their behavior isn't wrong. How is that a wrong? They're responsible for their behavior. Let them deal with that.
 

NancyGirl74

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By the way, to what Nancy said about PMs being about someone/their tune changing-- no. My tune would not change. I actually have the ability to be rational long enough to analyze the situation before I throw a shit fit. (I do so love shit fits though! Very cleansing. :))

First of all, I'm not sure what comment of mine you are referring to. When I said that I felt people would change their tune if the comments had been directed at them I was stating my opinion. Its an opinion that I think is very valid. You don't have to agree...clearly you don't. Fine.

If you are referring to my posts here as "shit fits" then I will tell that you don't know me very well...you haven't seen shit. But I will refrain from shitting the big steaming hot load I really want to shit right now because I don't shit on my friends.

Hmm, wonder if this grandiose exit is actually for real.

Deja vu all over again
 

Fyreflyintheskye

☯tae kwan donut champ☯
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completely ludicrous!!


I saw your "ludicrous" and could have sworn it said "unicorn." You had my immediate and undivided attention! And then my heart sank a little...
:(
unicornln1.png

must be the thread bumming him out or something.
 

Eclectic_Girl

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I don't think this thread is wrong. The Loves were wrong. The thread is calling them out. A lot of people were upset about this and it had to be addressed. They brought it on themselves by sending the friggin' pms. Lame. No one was "crucified" (hahaha all you poor martyrs) - they were just called out for their extreme phoniness and they both gave lame "apologies" (well dubh's wasn't quite an apology.)

Once again, it isn't two wrongs. Calling the Loves (lol) out for their behavior isn't wrong. They're responsible for their behavior. Let them deal with that.


Exactly.

Words and actions have consequences. This thread is their consequences. Those two won't be banned for what they wrote, they won't be jailed for what they think, and nobody's breaking their windows or burning them at the stake. However, they should (if they have the backbone to accept responsibility) have to listen to the effects of what they put out there in the world. Sometimes karma comes in the form of having to look your own pathetic weakness square in the face.

If there is actual regret on their part, shame at their own bigotry instead of embarassment at getting caught in deception, then the lesson they'll take away is to be kinder, not more careful who they bitch to. I haven't seen much hope for growth yet, but which way they fall doesn't mean that much to me. They were minor blips in my existence before, and they'll be even less now.

I'm not worried about the community: the community is strong. Strong enough to root out an infection, painfully lance the boil, and then heal over cleanly as if the offending filth had never existed.
 
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I'm here to make new friends and maybe find a relationship on here, maybe a feeder if they arent all in for booty call =/. Im hoping this place is more civilized than fantasyfeeder. That place is a mess! :eek:
 

Sandie_Zitkus

In Rememberance
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I saw your "ludicrous" and could have sworn it said "unicorn." You had my immediate and undivided attention! And then my heart sank a little...
:(
unicornln1.png

must be the thread bumming him out or something.

You know what - I'm so over stupid remarks about my spelling that try to negate what I am saying. I'm dyslexic - grow up!:mad:
 

JoyJoy

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You know what - I'm so over stupid remarks about my spelling that try to negate what I am saying. I'm dyslexic - grow up!:mad:
There wasn't anything wrong with your spelling...she was trying to lighten things up a bit. She succeeded, at least for me.
 

KevMoney

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This is completely beyond control right now. I had a bunch of things to say, but they are irrelevant now. People's emotions are way too on edge now and everyone is jumping down everyone's throat at the drop of a hat. I do think everyone needs to calm the fuck down. You can say whatever you want about this (or me for that matter), but this has evolved into something sophmoric, juvenile, and out-of-control. I see way too many people/relationships being ruined (aside from those from the original PMs, which is a completely different story).

Shivs has spoken.
 

Santaclear

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This is completely beyond control right now. I had a bunch of things to say, but they are irrelevant now. People's emotions are way too on edge now and everyone is jumping down everyone's throat at the drop of a hat. I do think everyone needs to calm the fuck down. You can say whatever you want about this (or me for that matter), but this has evolved into something sophmoric, juvenile, and out-of-control. I see way too many people/relationships being ruined (aside from those from the original PMs, which is a completely different story).

Shivs has spoken.

I'm sorry you're upset.
*throws lit match on Shivs*
 

Forgotten_Futures

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Two points to present, both on topic.

1) Why am I here?
I came here because, after the now defunct Stuffed Online folded, I was looking for a new site and forums to browse and people to interact with. Despite the obviously different nature of this site compared to the other, I quickly settled on it for its userbase - mostly mature adults, some younger and some older, who appeared to prefer intelligent conversations to going on and on about fattie art and the like. In other words, the atmosphere drew me in.

As far as my interests, I am a tall, relatively thin male into softer women. I have, over the years, found myself questioning more than once if I really belong here, as the majority of the F/FA posters into women SEEM to be into the LARGE woman crowd, whereas I'm generally not. In fact, it's worth noting I tend to take interest in the FFAs more than any other single group here. This is probably a result of my appreciation for the softened female form is just that - an appreciation, and not a requisite. While I will certainly take interest in a plump young woman (who is otherwise attractive), I'll just as easily take interest in one who lacks that attribute. The fact that a fair portion of writing in the Board Library section pertains to the type of BBW I directly admire is one of the main reasons I still bother being here.


2) There's no good way to say this, but I figure now is as good a time as any. I'll be perfectly honest - though I wouldn't have put it in quite the same terms, I do to an extent empathize with the Loves' thoughts (the ones that touched off this mess). In conjunction with part 1... I don't and can't find everything about the large woman's form to be pleasant. I respect your right to be fat, I respect your right to enjoy that fact, I respect that there are other people who enjoy it too...
 

LisaInNC

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Look, all I know is...I want my fecking cupcakes...now you people better put up or head will roll!!
 

ripley

In Remembrance
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Two points to present, both on topic.

1) Why am I here?
I came here because, after the now defunct Stuffed Online folded, I was looking for a new site and forums to browse and people to interact with. Despite the obviously different nature of this site compared to the other, I quickly settled on it for its userbase - mostly mature adults, some younger and some older, who appeared to prefer intelligent conversations to going on and on about fattie art and the like. In other words, the atmosphere drew me in.

As far as my interests, I am a tall, relatively thin male into softer women. I have, over the years, found myself questioning more than once if I really belong here, as the majority of the F/FA posters into women SEEM to be into the LARGE woman crowd, whereas I'm generally not. In fact, it's worth noting I tend to take interest in the FFAs more than any other single group here. This is probably a result of my appreciation for the softened female form is just that - an appreciation, and not a requisite. While I will certainly take interest in a plump young woman (who is otherwise attractive), I'll just as easily take interest in one who lacks that attribute. The fact that a fair portion of writing in the Board Library section pertains to the type of BBW I directly admire is one of the main reasons I still bother being here.


2) There's no good way to say this, but I figure now is as good a time as any. I'll be perfectly honest - though I wouldn't have put it in quite the same terms, I do to an extent empathize with the Loves' thoughts (the ones that touched off this mess). In conjunction with part 1... I don't and can't find everything about the large woman's form to be pleasant. I respect your right to be fat, I respect your right to enjoy that fact, I respect that there are other people who enjoy it too...



1. "I'm a thin guy here looking to pick up thin women who prefer fat guys" has got to be one of the strangest reasons to be here that I think I'll ever see.

2. No, there is no good way to say it. I'm wondering why you did it anyway. Perhaps the 2loves will put you on their email list?
 

BothGunsBlazing

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Two points to present, both on topic.

1) Why am I here?
I came here because, after the now defunct Stuffed Online folded, I was looking for a new site and forums to browse and people to interact with. Despite the obviously different nature of this site compared to the other, I quickly settled on it for its userbase - mostly mature adults, some younger and some older, who appeared to prefer intelligent conversations to going on and on about fattie art and the like. In other words, the atmosphere drew me in.

As far as my interests, I am a tall, relatively thin male into softer women. I have, over the years, found myself questioning more than once if I really belong here, as the majority of the F/FA posters into women SEEM to be into the LARGE woman crowd, whereas I'm generally not. In fact, it's worth noting I tend to take interest in the FFAs more than any other single group here. This is probably a result of my appreciation for the softened female form is just that - an appreciation, and not a requisite. While I will certainly take interest in a plump young woman (who is otherwise attractive), I'll just as easily take interest in one who lacks that attribute. The fact that a fair portion of writing in the Board Library section pertains to the type of BBW I directly admire is one of the main reasons I still bother being here.


2) There's no good way to say this, but I figure now is as good a time as any. I'll be perfectly honest - though I wouldn't have put it in quite the same terms, I do to an extent empathize with the Loves' thoughts (the ones that touched off this mess). In conjunction with part 1... I don't and can't find everything about the large woman's form to be pleasant. I respect your right to be fat, I respect your right to enjoy that fact, I respect that there are other people who enjoy it too...

51RKEMRDNTL.jpg
 

activistfatgirl

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I wasn't gonna post, but I'll jump into the Crazy and say that I lol-ed so genuinely after reading your post, Shivs. :p As a veteran in political and social conflict, let me say there's always a point when people come in after the fighting to chastise all for being out of line and shrilly tell folks to "calm the fuck down". Heeeeeeeeeeehhhheeeeeee. The person(s) who do that are NEVER calm about it themselves in my experience. Dude, that's the whole point, people are invested, and so are you. If we weren't all personally invested in some way with other, well, this wouldn't be a big deal.

I said something to this effect earlier to AM, but will repeat part of it here. There is ALWAYS a silver lining in community conflicts. Sure, they tend to polarize and create opposing parties. There is a bit of that here. Mostly, however, the positive aspects are gonna be here - the feelings of solidarity and realignment to purpose that we will experience. I felt this after logging in today after many days gone - an instant sense of solidarity with my very fat sisters and a renewal of commitment of understanding their struggles and cankley goodness as my own struggles. I really doubt I'm alone in this being a clarifying experience in terms of how we relate to each other in the fatty community. Particularly during the discussions of what is appropriate on the internet in terms of safe space I was really hit with how real this community is and how so very much not online it is for many of us.

I have no doubt this will continue to be a safe space, and our conversations with each other will continue to be safe insomuch as we demand they are and keep encouraging each other. I'm sorry that many were hurt. Please remember the many, many fatties all around you who do understand how you felt after this and will be with you in working it all out. Onwards and upwards, y'all!
 

Angel

no apologies for being me
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It's nice to see how members of this community pull together to support each other.

You never know, one of us could be the next one needing the support of this community and family.

I'd sure hate to alienate those that have voiced their concerns and shown their support for this community and for what it stands for.
 

wistful

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Oct 21, 2005
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As far as my interests, I am a tall, relatively thin male into softer women. I have, over the years, found myself questioning more than once if I really belong here, as the majority of the F/FA posters into women SEEM to be into the LARGE woman crowd, whereas I'm generally not. In fact, it's worth noting I tend to take interest in the FFAs more than any other single group here.
2) There's no good way to say this, but I figure now is as good a time as any. I'll be perfectly honest - though I wouldn't have put it in quite the same terms, I do to an extent empathize with the Loves' thoughts (the ones that touched off this mess). In conjunction with part 1... I don't and can't find everything about the large woman's form to be pleasant. I respect your right to be fat, I respect your right to enjoy that fact, I respect that there are other people who enjoy it too...



You know,it's long been my experience and of course this is just my humble opinion..that when you have to preface a statement with "there's no good way to say this" or "no offense" or "I don't want to hurt your feelings BUT" there's an awfully good chance that what one is about to say is hurtful.The fact that people know enough to put these disclaimers in front of their statements leads me to believe that on some level they realize what they are about to share is not exactly kind.

There are plenty of people in the world, both on-line and out in my day to day life who are not my cup of tea physically.You know what? It's not my job or duty to let them know that.The world is such a hurtful place especially to fat people that why do you have to let someone know that they don't do it for you? You are absolutely entitled to not find supersized women or certain traits of theirs attractive, but do you really have to announce this on a board where you know there are plenty of ssbbws(myself included) around? It's all about common courtesy...Just something to think about. :)
 
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