why bbw / ssbbw don't like super small men ?

Discussion in 'Fat sexuality' started by elrofia, Dec 17, 2018.

  1. Dec 17, 2018 #1

    elrofia

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    please i need your answers .... i am small man and i like bbw / ssbbw sooo much but they don't like me because i am sooo tiny and toooo skinny .... can i know why ??
     
  2. Dec 18, 2018 #2

    happily_married

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    Some do, some don’t. These are individuals with individual preferences. They don’t act as one cohesive group. It’s not like they have quarterly meetings with a set agenda to approve. “So we’re all in agreement: no skinny guys?”

    I’m not a big guy at all, though not sure I count as “skinny.” My wife seems to like me just fine. I’ve had a few SSBBWs hit on me over the years, one of whom did so knowing I was married, which is a bit low brow. I know a few who have/want big partners and others who have/want skinny partners.

    So don’t get discouraged. You may want to do a deep self assessment and see if there is anything else you can discern about yourself that may be the root cause of some women not being interested. It may not just be your physical traits.
     
  3. Dec 20, 2018 #3

    jade_andy

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    Cos like every else bbw's and ssbbw's have what they are attracted to. Like me, I'm a bbw im attracted to average to fat guys but I'm attracted to the weird types (not creepy), like the way they dress - guy who is a fwb dresses like a punk and i like that but he is skinny.
    My ex was about average chubby guy but i like geeks that like bbws.
    I know there are bbws/ssbbws that like the muscle fit guys.
    I was at a geeky con once, there was a couple a bbw and a skinny guy. I'm guessing there are bbw's and ssbbws that like skinny.
    I think some bbw's/ssbbw's think they might squish a skinny guy and might hurt or break them.
     
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  4. Dec 22, 2018 #4

    SSBHM

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    It's always something.
    I am too big.
    Yet, once someone's gotten to know me, most love me.
    Yet, even if loved, many BBW and SSBBW think I'm too fat. Seems like others like contrast.
    I wonder if I get a lot bigger if there could then be contrast to SSBBW?
    Just a thought, and I'd probably like trying!
     
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  5. Dec 22, 2018 #5

    happily_married

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    Preference is a funny thing like that I guess. I’ve seen a lot of people suggest plus size women should prefer plus size men. I am certainly thankful that not all of them subscribe to this “rule.”

    As for the contrast I have had a few partners explain it has to do with positions during sex. This actually makes a lot of sense to me. Sex with a plus size woman can be a lot of hard work. It’s a rewarding experience, no doubt but hard work nonetheless. If you’re going to do it right, that is. My wife has more than a few times expressed how glad she is I am the size I am because it enables things that would be much harder or off the table altogether if I were BHM.

    Just a thought.
     
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  6. Jun 19, 2019 #6

    Teresa Gordan

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    Not sure what others don't like. I love all sizes
     
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  7. Jun 24, 2019 #7

    Volt01

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    i wish i knew. im a pretty skinny guy and no girls like me lol
     
  8. Jun 24, 2019 #8

    HUGEisElegant

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    Thanks for some insight from your own perspective and experiences. I have to admit, I usually tend to have a relatively "normal" body weight (whatever "normal" is!) and before joining the community I had been quite worried that my generally smaller size would be seen as a "negative" to many of the SSBBW women whom I adore. But I have to remind myself that the perception of beauty and attractiveness very much is a subjective matter, and what is considered attractive is a very wide spectrum. No matter who we are. I just wasn't sure how my size would be perceived in regards to SSBBW women and the FFA community in general. But that's also a big reason why I am here, which is to learn and observe, and hopefully put some of my worries to rest in regards to finding a big, beautiful SSBBW woman of my own to be with.

    But you've got a boss lookin' VW Bug! That's got to count for at least something! ;):D:p
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  9. Jun 25, 2019 #9

    Volt01

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    yeah it does lol but i still need love
     
  10. Jun 25, 2019 #10

    DragonFly

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    There is a thread around here about dating SSBBWs. It one of the old ones but it has a lot of insight into the subject.

    I don’t care what the person is like, if they roll up in a smart car and have planned a 10 mile mountain climb for a date, the answer is not. They probably won’t get a second chance either. You have to think about the person you want to be with. An SSBBW takes a certain amount of accommodation. We don’t fit in some places and often feel excluded from things. If a person that is interested in us is not aware of that then they are just adding to the problem.
     
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  11. Jun 25, 2019 #11

    DragonFly

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  12. Jun 25, 2019 #12

    happily_married

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    I remember that thread. There’s a lot of good input on it from some of the women who used to post here. A lot of their experiences I can relate to because my wife had been over 300 pounds for at least 9+ years of our 13 years of marriage. Like any relationship the day to day maintenance is not always glamorous. It’s often messy. Physically and emotionally messy.

    But get the right person and it’s worth it.
     
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  13. Jul 5, 2019 #13

    Elfcat

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    I'm not sure what you mean by tiny, but hey, my 'nick's Elfcat for a reason. :D

    I've seen different responses. Some women have a taste for big men, even some tiny women do. My wife is supersize and also pretty tall. We joke with each other all the time that we're "The Elf & The Giantess". She also tells tales about how she found a limited special at "the Tiny Man Store".

    I have had a theory for a while based on my own experience, which is that although I'm attracted to women across a wide range of, well, wideness, I've gotten more bites in my life from supersize women, to the point that I suspect people think that I'm only attracted to them. My theory is that up to a certain size a woman can credibly hold out for a larger man who is capable of all the sweet things a big guy is capable of in the realm of body mechanics, where for women who are larger than that it more likely ceases to be a question. But hey, that may be as batshit a theory as any other.
     
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  14. Jul 6, 2019 #14

    Crazylove2213

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    I guess it all comes down to preference or what someone is attracted to. I like guys of any size or shape and color..its your mind that will attract me. Make me laugh and i melt. Lol
    But again with me being bbw theres certain things smaller guys and bigger guys are better at for me. I like a skinny guy because i can get in more sexual positions..like getting on top a skinnier guy is easier for me. But a bigger guy can pick me up and man handle me more lol...but it just all comes down to what people are attracted to. ❤
     
  15. Jul 6, 2019 #15

    Green Eyed Fairy

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    I'm afraid I might accidentally kill him? :doh:
     
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  16. Jul 6, 2019 #16

    happily_married

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    Haha I’ve heard that one a time or two. Trust me, you’re not going to break us! Well, you’re not going to break me, anyway. And even if you did...what a way to go!
     
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  17. Jul 6, 2019 #17

    stampy

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    It is all about personal preference and finding the right person for you. I am 380 and would love a skinny guy to squish, but most of them approach me from the fetish squashing angle and that is a big turn off. That being said, I (and most of my larger friends) care more about personality than looks. I used to think nobody would ever love me because of how fat I am and how big my double chin is, but I have learned that there are always going to be people who like your body type. The struggle is in having matching dreams/goal/life ideas/not approaching people as sexual objects who only want you for what kind of body you have.
     
  18. Jul 6, 2019 #18

    HUGEisElegant

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    I love this post. I agree with everything you said. For me, it isn't about a "fetish" or what she does for me (sexually). Nor is any woman ever a sexual object to me. It's so much deeper than that for me. I totally get it when you say it's more about personality/dreams/goals/life ideals, etc., because I am very much the same way. I am not like a lot of guys it seems (not saying anything about the fine people here). I need substance and a connection as a part of the entire package, or else it just doesn't really work for me. Thank you for your post and for injecting a good sense of what it is to truly love and appreciate a woman.

    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Jul 6, 2019 #19

    happily_married

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    That’s something that sets aside the fetishist from someone with a genuine preference. The fetishist more than likely has a one track mind (let’s get together and you can squish me) making it all about him whereas the person with a legitimate preference is all about mutual needs, benefits and desires. And if he gets squished in the process, that’s a nice additional benefit.
     
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  20. Jul 23, 2019 #20

    quantumbits

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    I think that applies to most woman. I don't think it's a matter of taste alone. Nature may have favored taller men over the eons and this found its way in a woman's preferences in her mate. This might also be why men favor the hourglass shape in woman, since it has repeatedly been linked to fertility, and sometimes overall health, in studies.

    What I find though generally is woman like some masculine traits, but mostly a confident--not insecure--man who's quick to humor, witty and generous. Won't cower from a challenge. Maybe someone like Ronald Reagan or George HW Bush senior. They had courage, were funny and great communicators. In fact, the marriage between George HW Bush and his wife is legendary, given they were married a staggering 73 years. Ronald Reagon's marriage lasted 50 years. Something to think about.

    Testosterone has been falling dramatically over the past century. This is only a problem if testosterone is linked to these traits woman traditionally found appealing, or to the success of people like Ronald Reageon (above). One study measured average testosterone between years 1989 and 2005 and discovered an average drop of 0.4 percent. This has been foudn to be independent of obesity or age or other factors. Other studies have shown this declining trend goes further back than 1989.

    What I actually think is the potential weakening of the binary genders (since woman's hips are narrowing according to studies I've seen) is enabling more sexualities to express themselves. So instead of us all becoming asexual, I tink what will happen is sexuality will diversify. Fertility treatments and medical technologies will compensate for any shortfall in reproduction if the binary genders somehow endanger it, as well anything to support healthy children and families. So overall reproduction rate may fall, but there'll be more support for the family and children.

    Reproduction rate tends to drop substantially in industrialized first world countries, so it's not like we're unprepared for drops in the reproduction rate. This is something gradual, and occuring over centuries. What's less straightforward are changes in the family structure, or relationships between couples. How do we ensure families and childre are healhty in a constant envrionment of change--and potential disruption or family breakup?

    As long as there're successful engaging people who're unafraid to take on new challenges, and help construct a better world for their children or our progeny, I don't think we have anything to worry about.

    EDIT: And now that I think of it, part of the problem is you being insecure about your height. That might be part of the reason you're alone--or can't find a sympathetic BBW. Maybe if you just tried ignoring it for a while, or got confident about something else. Remind yourself height isn't the only thing to define you.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2019

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