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WLS may kill my relationship but get me closer to my ex-wife

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Lightning Man

Lover of Voluptuousness
Supporting Member
Oct 9, 2005
North Carolina, USA
As evidenced by the fact that I am at this forum, I like heavier women. I decided a few years back to not be secretive or ashamed of that. It's just a preference, just as dark hair, smoky voice, spaghetti straps, or anything else a person might like is a preference. The only thing it says concretely about me is that I like heavier women.

I also would like to be in a relationship where I could really, truly say whatever I feel / think about a subject and the relationship not be at risk for doing so. I have come far closer to this ideal with my male friends than I have with my female friends or female lovers.

My wife and I eventually split because of me feeling there was no room to be me and no respect for me, that what she wanted mattered and what I wanted was lucky to be an afterthought, although from her perspective it was because I wouldn't give in on her and her mother looking for a new house to live in without me being involved in the process.

At any rate, shortly thereafter I met another woman who happened to be a BBW and we developed a relationship. Fast forward to now, where she decides for the sake of her health to have WLS. She tells me about this and I am less than ecstatic. She asks me why and I say honestly that I am unsure that I will still find her attractive.

This, of course, is not what she wanted to hear. But she also turns this into I am not being supportive. She today told me not to contact her until after the procedure is over and that she finds me an obstacle to making this work.

Thing is, I am not against her doing this. I understand the medical reasons for it. I am willing to help her with any part of it. I'm just not happy about it and I don't think it's fair to insist that I be.

My guess is that after the surgery is over that we'll be officially done, but we'll see. My biggest fear about the surgery beyond the complications of surgery itself is that she would change and not want me anymore. That I like fat women has turned into (in her mind) that I want to keep her fat, and so it seems to be coming to pass.

Meanwhile the ex-wife, also for medical reasons, is also having WLS. She's scared about it and has been coming to me (on the phone) for support. Because we're not together anymore, my likes don't play into it. And so she's seeing me as being supportive. I guess in the end, it all depends on what you think support is.

I don't know that there is anything to be said about this, although if you want to comment, please feel free. I just needed to talk about this and I don't have a lot of options that aren't connected to either of these women. Thanks.

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