Would You Like to Be Super Sized? - by JP

Discussion in 'Fantasy/Science Fiction Archive' started by WG Story Drone, Oct 13, 2005.

  1. Sep 6, 2007 #21

    JP.

    JP.

    JP.

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    Wow, some very interesting discussion here, and it illustrates exactly why I tend to avoid being too specific in my descriptions of XWG.

    For the record, she's about 10,000 pounds regardless of any math, I'll go out on a limb, maybe write myself into a corner, but when I wrote it that's the weight I had in mind.

    I specifically didn't use a scale though because I didn't feel it was necessary to write one in and Jenna and Ed knew she was far fatter than anyone else. The people up top had never seen anyone so fat, and in fact didn't think she was human at first, actual numbers would IMO likely fall flat. Either she'd be too light (which might be in this case) or too heavy.

    The metaphors used are not intended for spot on accuracy. They're the impressions that Jenna and the shocked people had. My goal in writing it was to give the reader the similar shocked reaction. The mind racing for comparisons for something so surreal. The fattest any human has gotten may have been about 1600 pounds, and plenty of people haven't seen or adequately experienced the sight of encountering someone that big, and even if they saw a picture or caught it on TV, they really couldn't quite assimilate the info without prolonged examination. Now (while walking to work) they encounter quite by surprise a woman that's 5 tons. There's no human analog to compare her to. She's taller (while sitting down) than any human, and she's wider than probably any 5 or 6. Their minds (and Jenna's) will race to find a meaningful comparison; Bigger than an elephant, big as a house, etc. That doesn't mean they're accurate, but the impression will last. In all honesty, people would probably compare a person that weighed 4000 pounds with an elephant also, even though the elephant dwarfs them. As it is though, at 10,000 pounds Jenna is bigger than plenty of elephants.

    But bottom line, if you go for accuracy in such a thing you'll not only likely to fail (because no one knows what a 5 ton or more woman would really look like), but you might also get written into a corner, which apparently I have. Vivid descriptions mixed with decent geusstimates are IMO the way to go. Numbers eventually just become meaningless, and truly huge sizes are really difficult to describe in such a way as to be more compelling than a more modest size, like a few tons maybe.:D

    Great discussion, I love it when my old stories are discussed.
     
  2. Sep 6, 2007 #22

    Hamhock

    Hamhock

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    Did you convert the cubic feet measurment to gallons?

    :rolleyes:
     
  3. Sep 6, 2007 #23

    Hamhock

    Hamhock

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    JP:

    Thank you.:eat2:
     
  4. Sep 6, 2007 #24

    Hamhock

    Hamhock

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    Here's a question for anybody to think about -- for discussion. There's a lot to this story. Some of it under the surface. :)

    So, here's a question to think about:

    Who is Eddie? :huh:
     
  5. Sep 7, 2007 #25

    JP.

    JP.

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    You really want to see what goes on behind the scenes don't you?

    Eddie makes for an appropriate sounding diner name. Who and what is he? Well...that's one of the story's weaknesses. Since there's no real plot to the story to speak of, I didn't bother going into the backstory of Ed or his establishment. Typically I don't do too many magic stories, sci-fi is my specialty. While I never mentioned magic in this story, sci-fi only covers part of it, it's got the kind of magic that Wonka has a bit. He never gave her any drugs, any nanites, the machines were cartoonish. The restaurant disapeared at the end of it etc.

    Other than that, to be honest I don't know any more about Eddie than you do.
     
  6. Sep 7, 2007 #26

    Hamhock

    Hamhock

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    Magic? No. I found this story more analogous to an episode of Rod Serling’s TWILIGHT ZONE or Steven Spielberg’s AMAZING STORIES. The story was written with the same levels of quality and mystery as the works written by them.;)

    But I really posted the question for the other readers. The speculation of them could prove interesting.:rolleyes:

    Merely discussion, I sometimes try to look below the surface.:eat2:

    It’s just that the story was so very good!:bow:
     
  7. Sep 8, 2007 #27

    JP.

    JP.

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    Feel free to speculate away then, there's more than enough room to in this case.
     
  8. Oct 21, 2007 #28

    Hamhock

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    ;)

    It's been more than a month now since that last post of mine -- and not one person has posted a single responce. I am very disapointed. I had hoped the people reading these posts had more initiative.

    :eek:

    A similat thing happened to me when I made a post on the now defunct FATTENUP boards following the abrupt ending of PIGS BE PIGS by Willix. Everyone -- myself included -- were disapointed by the copout way he ended it. There was no climax -- no real resolution. IE -- it was really left unfinished. I had made a post of a general story description of what I thought could have been our own continuation of the story. Like Willix, I had asked for other people to submit possible ideas for it. I think if ANYONE had as much interest as they had when it had been being written, they would have responded.

    :(

    But no, there was nothing. Just like now -- not one single reply apart from yours JP. The possible speculations could have been interesting. They might even have been enough for you (or me) to have written a possible prequel: EDDIE'S STORY.

    :doh:

    But we instead got a story of four people:

    This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
    There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
    Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
    Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job.
    Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
    In the end, Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
     
  9. Oct 21, 2007 #29

    JP.

    JP.

    JP.

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    I wouldn't take it so hard Hamhock. The majority of people are just here to read, and most go to the Recent additions first. If you want some action you'd be better off making a request in the Story Readers or Story Writers forum. Most likely people didn't realize that you were serious about the request.

    For my part, I won't return to this story (sorry about that, for me the story was concluded) but you have my blessing to take this where you'd like. A prequel showing Eddie's origins and his early efforts might be interesting, an update on Jenna's condition, the next victim (Jenna was returning from a sorority, a whole house full of victims). I've often had some developing ideas of a whole bus full of young co-eds falling afoul of someone like Eddie and a Funhouse full of different fattening machines.

    Good luck with this.
     
  10. Oct 21, 2007 #30

    Hamhock

    Hamhock

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    JP:

    Please -- If you ever persue that idea, at least consider the possibility of using Eddie again as the antagonist.
     
  11. Aug 3, 2014 #31

    Hamhock

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    It has -- after a fasion been illustrated. I know -- I had the pictures done. But it is a variation version. The feedee is male. Google search THE FATTENING OF KEITH. :eat1:
     
  12. Jan 23, 2015 #32

    sirdank

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    keep up the good work
     

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