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Your first SSBBW Experience

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ssbigmamaluva

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Guys...MisticalMisty's post "Your first FA experience"...made me think about something. YOu know the saying....once you go fat, you never go back! That kinda happened to me...with my first ssbbw experience. It actually was a tounge kiss that caught me. I was wondering if any FA's had first experiences with a ssbbw and realized right there....that they prefered SSBBW's only and exactly what was it that hit the spot?
 

MisticalMisty

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you stole my idea..lol just kidding..I'm actually curious to hear the responses!
 

Aswani

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I'm not even sure I should be contributing to this thread as it will appear I'm putting relationships with SSBBW in a negative light, but since the question was asked in earnest, I hope you don't mind I answer in earnest.

Unfortunately my first and continued sexual experience with a SSBBW was quite frustrating. Since I had dated BBW most of my adult life I assumed dating a SSBBW would be no different. But when we eventually became intimate, I discovered things just weren't as "accessible" in bed as I was used to. The most frustrating thing was guiding my penis into her. It would often be difficult to find and I learned early on that because of her size, it was difficult for her to reach between her legs to help place me in her. I was pretty much on my own down there in the dark. And because she only wanted sex with the lights out, I couldn't use the light to help guide my way into her. And when I was successful in entering her, I would often come out due to the substantial amount of weight between our genitals. And believe me, I'm not hung like a field mouse by any stretch of the imagination. The other problem was lack of participation on her part in that when we'd try different sexual positions, it wasn't that easy for her to flip over and flip around or do other physical things I was used to doing with BBW, and when she did attain a different position, the issue of entering her and staying in her arose again. It was very frustrating and she hadn't had any experience with other men to show me more successful means of sex. I'm sure if I fell in love with her during our courting period I would have sought out tried-and-tested methods of sex with a SSBBW from books and internet sources to make things more enjoyable for the two of us, but it was definitely casual dating that never progressed beyond that. Most of our time together was spent going to dinner and playing board games and Poker with our mutual friends.

I guess I shared my experience to see if there were any other men or women here that could tell me if this was an isolated experience or a common dilemma. Thanks for reading.
 

MisticalMisty

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Aswani said:
I'm not even sure I should be contributing to this thread as it will appear I'm putting relationships with SSBBW in a negative light, but since the question was asked in earnest, I hope you don't mind I answer in earnest.

Unfortunately my first and continued sexual experience with a SSBBW was quite frustrating. Since I had dated BBW most of my adult life I assumed dating a SSBBW would be no different. But when we eventually became intimate, I discovered things just weren't as "accessible" in bed as I was used to. The most frustrating thing was guiding my penis into her. It would often be difficult to find and I learned early on that because of her size, it was difficult for her to reach between her legs to help place me in her. I was pretty much on my own down there in the dark. And because she only wanted sex with the lights out, I couldn't use the light to help guide my way into her. And when I was successful in entering her, I would often come out due to the substantial amount of weight between our genitals. And believe me, I'm not hung like a field mouse by any stretch of the imagination. The other problem was lack of participation on her part in that when we'd try different sexual positions, it wasn't that easy for her to flip over and flip around or do other physical things I was used to doing with BBW, and when she did attain a different position, the issue of entering her and staying in her arose again. It was very frustrating and she hadn't had any experience with other men to show me more successful means of sex. I'm sure if I fell in love with her during our courting period I would have sought out tried-and-tested methods of sex with a SSBBW from books and internet sources to make things more enjoyable for the two of us, but it was definitely casual dating that never progressed beyond that. Most of our time together was spent going to dinner and playing board games and Poker with our mutual friends.

I guess I shared my experience to see if there were any other men or women here that could tell me if this was an isolated experience or a common dilemma. Thanks for reading.
I'm a ssbbw..right at 400 pounds with a massive belly and I've never had a single sexual issue with a guy..except once..and he was a BHM of about 400 himself. Other than that, it hasn't been an issue.

There is no doubt that being with a bigger gal isn't work sometimes. But, if you have a vested interest in the relationship, you'll find the ways to make it work. I really hope that experience doesn't keep you from being with other ssbbws. Just have patience, and try to make your partner as comfortable as possible and assure her that you are attracted to her and her figure and hopefully that will help her with wanting to experiment. I don't know, I'm just speaking from my experience.

Good luck!
 

ThatFatGirl

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Aswani said:
I guess I shared my experience to see if there were any other men or women here that could tell me if this was an isolated experience or a common dilemma. Thanks for reading.
You had trouble finding where to go? Uuuh.... huh. I really have to wonder, was this girl really that into you? Did you make her feel comfortable and sexy? Based on what you describe, I'd say no. Being properly aroused and comfortable with your partner can make all the difference in the world.

I'd definitely say you had an isolated experience.
 

AnnMarie

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ThatFatGirl said:
You had trouble finding where to go? Uuuh.... huh. I really have to wonder, was this girl really that into you? Did you make her feel comfortable and sexy? Based on what you describe, I'd say no. Being properly aroused and comfortable with your partner can make all the difference in the world.

I'd definitely say you had an isolated experience.

I had similar thoughts... AND (not to bash the poster, I feel it's a legit thing to mention, so no issue there) but I had to wonder about his own level of knowledge of basic female anatomy.

I mean, if you know where the parts are, it's easy to find what you're looking for... dark or not, flipped over or right side up. And they don't vary girl to girl, there's a clitoris, urethral opening, vagina, and the anus. So if you flip her over, start the list in the other direction. And if you can't find it with the willy, then find it with the finger so you know where to put the willy. (Sorry, I'm feeling overly blunt tonight.)

I don't know. I've never had that type of experience, although I have had the slipping out thing, but that can be from a multitude of contributing factors, not just either partners "size" issues.
 

Totmacher

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Yeah, I'm not terribly experienced either. I'm entertaining applications though ;)
 

Zoom

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I was at a carnival. Seriously! But there was no sideshow, they instead had videogames in the nearby church garage, and lots of old ones too.

Anyway, while going between there and either some rides or non-video games, I saw a woman with a very large belly.

Being about 11 or 12, I was astonished. I had strange thoughts about fatness before, but they were usually self-directed (despite my skinniness at the time). It never occurred to me to consider bigness on a woman before!

I remember actually trying to stalk her, but I was distracted, she vanished, and never saw her again.

I also was "burdened" at the same carnival with having to dance with my mother's friend's daughter, who was rather heavy. I felt silly and embarrassed, dancing in public with her (Besides outweighing me, she was much taller.)

Of course I didn't realize this was all a turn-on for another year or two, so it was all a wasted effort. But we live and learn from our experiences, however delayed the reactions to them.
 

Angel

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Here's a couple hints for the guys, especially if you're not experienced with SSBBWs or even BBWs.

Take your time. It's not a race. Make yourself familiar with her body first. Gently touch her. Caress her. Stroke her soft skin. Listen to her quiet sounds, that will tell you if she is enjoying your touch. If you feel her begin to move her hips, she probably wants you to be more playful. ;) Gently explore with your fingertips. When her body begins to respond, you'll feel the moisture. Lightly touch and rub around her most sensitive area. Every woman is different. Don't be afraid to ask her if it feels nice. Ask her if there is anything she wants you to do. Make sure you give her pleasure first. She'll be much more receptive to you... and it will make things much easier for you. :)

Another thing: It has been mentioned in other threads. Don't be afraid to use pillows for comfort and for support. Pear shaped women's bottoms tend to sink deeper into a bed, so place a pillow under her bottom (or even under her knees if she is on all fours). Make her feel comfortable. If she is both comfortable and relaxed, everything will be much more enjoyable for both of you.

Never had any problems and I am FAT.

--from a big bellied SSBBW who could have been a member of the club ;)
 

Skinny dip

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ssbigmamaluva said:
<snip> I was wondering if any FA's had first experiences with a ssbbw and realized right there....that they prefered SSBBW's only and exactly what was it that hit the spot?

I've been thinking on this subject for a day or so now. Between work and school, I've not had much time other than to surf a little now and then.

First BBW...

It was college (Junior yr) and I had finally decided that it was BBW's that flipped my switch... Anyways, the first one: I meet her at a party and asked her out. We went out a couple of times. I remember having fun with her and there was a game of strip poker in there too (we both lost :rolleyes:). So after three or so weeks she put an end to it, saying something to the effect of that she was getting back with her ex. Eh, oh well...

First BBW that I admitted my preference to... Obviously wasn't happy to be one as that was the last evening I saw her... Hadn't been seeing her long, so I'm glad that she "weeded" herself out before I had the chance to really like her.

First ssbbw: Met her at school about 7-8 years ago. She was this absolutely beautiful Hispanic woman: intelligent, strong-willed, out-going, and loved to travel. We enjoyed each others company, she could cook like a pro (first woman I'd met that could cook better then me :cool: ), she was wonderful in so many ways, I could go on... I think I was the first "real" FA she had been with, which she dug very much. She turned out to be a lot of the things that I wanted to find in a life partner. But I realized that too late and she was going through a rather shitty divorce when I met her (not to mention the shitty relationship I was coming off). She moved to Detroit. While she was there, I worked at removing my head from my hind-end but she met someone else that 'wowed' her. I still think about her now and then and what could have been. But oh well...

The last one... although she isn't a ssbbw... Met her on the train on the way home from work about 5 years ago. As we got to know each other, I became more and more enthralled with her. She is an awesome woman; has so many desirable qualities in the person she is and as my friend and my lover. Told her early on that her size was the initial attraction; but it has been her charm, wit, intelligence and so much else on top of that that kept me coming back for more. Best of all she likes to travel. We've done everything from winter camping in Utah's canyons to sitting in beer-halls in Munich (where she grew-up). We get along on so many different levels, and got along from very early on in our relationship. Apparently I do the same for her as we got married last August. Not that marriage makes the relationship...
 

NFA

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I am concerned by your eagerness to frame your negative SSBBW experience as being her fault, Aswani. (she couldn't help guide you in, she wanted the lights off, she couldn't flip and flop around fast enough, she didn't have the experience to tell you what to do) To be perfectly blunt, the situation as you describe it only indicates a lack of patience on your part. Her body is what it is, and its entirely unfair to blame her for that because of the unique issues that created that you clearly had difficulty overcoming. Every complaint you raise is one I have experienced, but it never occured to me to frame those issues as being the fault of the woman. Indeed, I hadn't thought them worth getting frustrated over in the first place. Frustration in sexual matters can be very unfair to a partner and it is important to do all one can to be patient, understanding, and eager to explore different options. Given how you are talking about it now, I'd have to wonder if your partner sensed your frustration and mentally withdrew from the experience. For her sake, I hope that's not the case. I can assure you, sex with SSBBW's is remarkably easy. It may have a different palette of positions and moves, but where there is the will there is certainly a way and there is no need for frustration or directing that frustration towards the woman.

My first experience with an SSBBW was at my first BBW dance. Though I was shy, I was approached by a woman and we hit it off and danced and talked the rest of the night. Well, and kissed, too. One thing I vividly remember was hanging out at an after-party and she leaned back into me and I took her in my arms and she pointed out that she was assured that I was an FA because I put my arm around her belly.
 

Jes

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For what it's worth, I didn't read Aswani's post as pointing blame at anyone. We've probably all had trouble in bed of the...logistics type, and that's related to bodies meshing or not, not one body being fat. My SL* said to me not long ago: Hmm...I know we've worked this one out before...? when the...stars were...suddenly not aligning themselves correctly. I appreciated what he had to say, is all I'm sayin'.


*secret LOVAH, in that crazy SNL-type voice, with 1 eyebrow raised and a devilish look in my eye.
 

SoVerySoft

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NFA said:
I am concerned by your eagerness to frame your negative SSBBW experience as being her fault, Aswani. (she couldn't help guide you in, she wanted the lights off, she couldn't flip and flop around fast enough, she didn't have the experience to tell you what to do) To be perfectly blunt, the situation as you describe it only indicates a lack of patience on your part. Her body is what it is, and its entirely unfair to blame her for that because of the unique issues that created that you clearly had difficulty overcoming. Every complaint you raise is one I have experienced, but it never occured to me to frame those issues as being the fault of the woman. Indeed, I hadn't thought them worth getting frustrated over in the first place. Frustration in sexual matters can be very unfair to a partner and it is important to do all one can to be patient, understanding, and eager to explore different options. Given how you are talking about it now, I'd have to wonder if your partner sensed your frustration and mentally withdrew from the experience. For her sake, I hope that's not the case. I can assure you, sex with SSBBW's is remarkably easy. It may have a different palette of positions and moves, but where there is the will there is certainly a way and there is no need for frustration or directing that frustration towards the woman.
Great response!!! His post made me feel guilty about situations like that which have occured in my life. Your post made me feel much better. You're a prize! Thanks, NFA.
 

Allie Cat

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My first 'BBW experience' was with my ex girlfriend (though this was before we even started dating) and one of her friends. Late night games of truth or dare are almost as good for that kind of thing as alcohol.

My first 'SSBBW experience' was with my fiancee, the day we met.

I'm not sure if this really counts though because I've known I preferred SSBBWs since I was 12... o.o

=Divals
 

NFA

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I can appreciate that some people might be initially unfamiliar with some of the different logistical concerns when dealing with fat bodies and I think that's a valuable area of discussion. However, that discussion has to start from a place of respect and I didn't see that in Aswani's post and that definetly concerns me. As you note, your partner responded lightly and approached the issue as a "we". I did see a distinct thread of assigning blame in Aswani's post and his post-script that if he loved her, he would have bothered to figure out how to do it right. That framing does concern me.

Like I pointed, he blames her explicitly for wanting the lights off, for being unable to guide him in, for being inexperienced, for making him slip out, and for being unable to change position fast enough. Its not talking about those issues that concerns me. Its talking about them from the position of putting blame on one partner. I got the distinct sense that he looked at those issues as HER problem and that approach really concerns me because this is such a sensative issue for people. This happens. Its okay. But don't look to blame one partner or the other. Its nobody's fault. Its not a problem. Its just a different situation to respond to.
 

BeautifulPoeticDisaster

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NFA said:
I can appreciate that some people might be initially unfamiliar with some of the different logistical concerns when dealing with fat bodies and I think that's a valuable area of discussion. However, that discussion has to start from a place of respect and I didn't see that in Aswani's post and that definetly concerns me. As you note, your partner responded lightly and approached the issue as a "we". I did see a distinct thread of assigning blame in Aswani's post and his post-script that if he loved her, he would have bothered to figure out how to do it right. That framing does concern me.

Like I pointed, he blames her explicitly for wanting the lights off, for being unable to guide him in, for being inexperienced, for making him slip out, and for being unable to change position fast enough. Its not talking about those issues that concerns me. Its talking about them from the position of putting blame on one partner. I got the distinct sense that he looked at those issues as HER problem and that approach really concerns me because this is such a sensative issue for people. This happens. Its okay. But don't look to blame one partner or the other. Its nobody's fault. Its not a problem. Its just a different situation to respond to.

It's official. you rock. I thank you for being so sensitive. I too have had all those issues. As a large ssbbw I cant just flip flop...it's more like a heave-ho and the a little adjusting, lol.

I just wanted to say thanx for thinking outside of yourself. It's hard to find people like you:D
 

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