Or at least I'm pretty sure that's what my mom is beginning to think I am. I'm not sure where to post this, but I'm in need of some advice. My mother is a lovely early-40s BBW who would love to have a companion, I'm certain, but is absolutely closed to dating. After an admittedly horrid divorce from my father 12 years ago, she has darted away from any male attention, and refuses to entertain my suggestions that she consider casual dating. I even joke that I'm going to sign her up for e-harmony or somesuch thing, to which she always responds by telling me, "You had better not."
What I've noticed, however, is that her reasons for not dating have shifted. A couple of years after the divorce, it was because she couldn't bring herself to trust another man. Now, her refusal seems to be based solely on the fact that she thinks men couldn't accept her size, or if they could, accepting begrudgingly would be all they could muster. I've preached fat acceptance at her like there's no tomorrow. She's read books I've recommended and she seems to be feeling better about herself, but still believes that men only enjoy the company of thin women. What can I do? What can I say that will encourage my mom? Even my grandmother has come to me to ask what we can do to get my mom back into dating. She deserves to be with someone who appreciates her, and we know she'd be a gift to some great guy. I guess the real question is, should I be doing anything at all? Maybe I'm just butting in where I don't belong.
What I've noticed, however, is that her reasons for not dating have shifted. A couple of years after the divorce, it was because she couldn't bring herself to trust another man. Now, her refusal seems to be based solely on the fact that she thinks men couldn't accept her size, or if they could, accepting begrudgingly would be all they could muster. I've preached fat acceptance at her like there's no tomorrow. She's read books I've recommended and she seems to be feeling better about herself, but still believes that men only enjoy the company of thin women. What can I do? What can I say that will encourage my mom? Even my grandmother has come to me to ask what we can do to get my mom back into dating. She deserves to be with someone who appreciates her, and we know she'd be a gift to some great guy. I guess the real question is, should I be doing anything at all? Maybe I'm just butting in where I don't belong.
