How modest are you around your kids? Are you modeling body positivity?

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Barbsjw

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Keith is only 3 months old, so OBVIOUSLY he has no concept of other people. But Roger and I agree we plan to raise him to be open and proud of his body. That people come in ALL shapes and sizes, and colors and differences. The biggest lesson we will impart is that we ALL deserve love and affirmation.
 
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penguin

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I did this with my daughter. I’m not a nudist, but I didn’t hide my body. As a single mum, there weren’t many chances to have an uninterrupted shower or to get dressed in peace, so I let her know that all bodies are beautiful and it’s okay that people come in different shapes and sizes. I never spoke badly about my body for how it looks (though I have complained about arthritis and my uterus), and have made sure to compliment her for things like how clever she is, how I can see she put effort in, how funny she is, and other things that aren’t looks-based. She’s a teen now and I respect her preference for modesty by not being as freely naked as I was when she was younger. But I’ve made sure she knows that home is the place you can be you, and to not compare herself to those in magazines and online, as they’re rarely realistic.
 

Barbsjw

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TY for this GREAT reply @penguin! Roger and I aren't nudists either, BUT we are both very secure in our appearance and shape (a hard won battle for both of us). We want Keith to know he's beautiful and lovable just for being him. Makes me sad Mr. Rogers isn't around anymore because his show and message is EXACTLY what I want to impart in my son.
 
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DazzlingAnna

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@Barbsjw - nice topic!

My son (7 y.o. soon) came into my life and I didn't feel quite well about my own shape and size back then.

When he was about two years old I remember during cuddling time he realized with his brightest smile what a perfect cuddling site my bellies are. I felt very uncomfortable.
Luckily some things changed and I started realizing about myself and how I want to rise my child about this matter. I don't want him to be insecure about his appearance. I try to raise him with values that are more important than having a big belly or a flat one. He should find people in his life around him who respect him for the person he is and not for his physical appearance. (an appearance that can change)
I also don't hide myself at home. It should be a save place. I am not a nudist either but nudity up to a certain point is normal here. (@penguin... these shower moments... yeah... same here ;))

I am on a good way I think. I don't know what will happen in future but I am convinced I created a basis for being okay in his own body. Even if he is a tall and slim boy he knows he is equal to other children, regardless their shape, size, gender, ethnicity... etc.

This week I overheard a conversation (and I know his statement made the other one very, very uncomfortable) when my son said... "you know, Mama has a very big belly and it is just the BEST to cuddle with!"
But he is not glorifying me being a fat mom - he also told me this week that he'd love to see me running.

In my opinion raising a child with a body positive attitude is getting difficult when parents don't accept themselves or at least tolerate their current appearance. I witnessed a conversation between a mother (BBW) and her daughter (a bit above average height and weight) when the girl wanted some more sweets. The mom denied and and explained: "I don't want you to be a big/fat child!"
I was kind of speechless.
I understand her fear. She doesn't want the girl going through what many fat children/young adults go through when they grow up. But telling her fat=bad wasn't appropriate and won't help the girl with accepting herself and growing self confidence.

Interesting question, @Barbsw. Thanks for things thread.
 
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