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maxoutfa

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a close friend of mine has talked herself into an eating disorder state simply so she can feel good about herself and her body.

She "matured" early and was ridiculed for it by jelous classmates who called her fat just because she had a voluptious figure at 13 (she was a knockout at the time - 34-24-34). This stuck in the back of her mind for years as she constantly obsessed over her weight, and hated her body even when she was 120 (while standing 5'2").

Through her life she had gotten as high as 160, and I tried like heck to tell her how beautiful she was, but she didn't hear it, preferring to listen only to the media and her catty older sister who kept ragging on her that she'd be beautiful if only she would lose weight.

So she turned forty and something clicked. She convinced herself that she no longer liked food and sometimes cannot even stand the sight of it. The net result of this burgeoining disorder is that she has dropped to 113 and is looking rail thin and somewhat boyish and bony. This weight is too thin for her, believe me, as I've known her intimately since she was 15 - and my preferences aside, her body should be 125 (and can easily carry the 160 that was her high point).

But the point is this: she's happy with her body now, which makes her self esteem rise, which makes her more fun to be with and gets her many more looks from admiring gents then she had before. She of course doesn't want to hear that she would have gotten just as many catcalls at 150 if she had liked herself at that weight and dressed accordingly (it is my firm belief that if you carry yourself like you KNOW that you're sexy, you will attract a male like a bear to honey).

She just gave me a blank look when I tried to explain that the main difference is that now she wears slinky hiphuggers and walks with a swaying swagger, whereas before, when she was heavier, she slumped and slouched and wore loose fitting bulky sweaters, trying to cover her weight. Body language counts - and she sure wasn't sending any positive signals before.

But she keeps throwing all the admiration at me, ignoring the inner aspects of it and justifies her weight loss since now everyone loves her. She just doesn't see that all she is really doing is holding herself up to an image that the masses deem acceptable.

What worries me is, while she is now happy with her self and her body, already little cracks are appearing - where she confides that maybe, just maybe another pound or two less would be even better. I think she's headed for anorexia and is going to do serious damage to her body if she doesn't stop, and while I worry it also pisses me off that the great media dieting machine is responsible and that she's so brainwashed by it that I have no way of combatting it.
 

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