Take It All In- BBW, Dining, XWG

Discussion in 'Recent Additions' started by Clovis, Apr 28, 2016.

  1. Jul 2, 2017 #81

    Wren

    Wren

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    I actually did like the evolution of Holly's character. It's not too far fetched that someone from a strict upbringing would be low key on the surface but underneath they are hiding characteristics that would surprise people. Speaking from personal experience, I think that's fairly normal, and in this case it is entertaining to watch the shock and awe when an aspect of someone's hidden nature comes out.

    Admittedly, I did think "where is this going?" as at first it seemed Holly was transforming into Etna Jr., and as a reader I think I was in a position similar to Amber.
    But as it progressed I thought it was very clever. I agree, the exchange between Holly and Amber was very entertaining.

    It seems like her expansion is going to be more voluptuous than the others. I like that there is that variety between her shape and Dawn & Etna's.

    Dawn kind of reminds me of Luffy from One Piece, a bit. Rather goofy and impulsive, driven by a big goal, surrounded by good friends who always help him in pinch, but he himself can also be a force to be reckoned with.
     
  2. Jul 3, 2017 #82

    Clovis

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    Thanks again Wren for the thoughtful response. I'm glad that Holly's newfound depth rung true and believable and that you were able to put yourself in Amber's shoes. Holly certainly isn't turning into Etna Jr, but remember that she still refused to commit to the pinky swear.

    Amber has also been a tricky one in differentiating her actions and feelings towards Holly from those with Dawn. To me she treats them very differently, but I'm not sure how well this comes across.

    I didn't know who Luffy was, but I looked the character up. I see many similarities, but Dawn's body was just never able to hold up to her spirit where is sounds that Luffy, while small, was strong for his size.
     
  3. Sep 4, 2017 #83

    Clovis

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    Sorry, not an update, but a simple question to help me out of a funk.

    I think by this point you should all have a good sense of the various growth realities of this story that maybe weren't very clear at the beginning. So I'd like to know, if you've read this far, are you more interested or less interested in how this story is shaping up? And if you could, give a brief explanation for your answer.

    thanks
     
  4. Oct 23, 2017 #84

    danvighar

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    It may be a month after your question, but I'm going to reply anyway -

    Bottom line up front - the last few posts have made the story more interesting, with deeper characterization. Sure, there's the contest in the background, but it's more about the people, their personalities, and the archetypes they represent lately. I presume that's mostly intentional. It's certainly well-done, better than most character studies.

    Etna and Holly:
    A deal with the metaphorical devil? On the one hand, Holly's insistence on politeness is probably part of her upbringing. On the other... Sympathy keeps rolling through my head. Etna's a (wo)man of "wealth and taste"... "Use all your well-learned politesse, or [she]'ll lay your soul to waste". The addition of Holly's decisions - and realizations of her decisions, making her aware of her own desires - adds quite a bit of depth to her and definitely "rounds out" her background.

    Holly and Amber:
    We know that Amber was raised... alternatively, and appears to be the personification of "free spirit". She's also shaping up to be the "pure feeder"... but not necessarily by choice. A bit of unexpected assertiveness and selfishness from Holly there. It may have been gone into with more detail in the past, but if not would be good for a future sidebar to give us more about Amber - she _seems_ like exactly what is on the tin, but then so did Holly.

    Dawn:
    She is clearly focused on the joy of it all. Which is currently extending to hesitance over food with disgusting names. If she'd been fed them during a 'stuffing' phase, she wouldn't care, but when she's paying enough attention to know what she's eating...

    Lydia:
    For all that she's a Witch, she's the Token Normal in all this, the Every(wo)man who is going to be more of a Narrative Observer than anything else.

    While Holly says there's not enough left for Dawn to take the lead - I was re-reading for the terms of contest, and it's "until one of us gives up or there's no more food... and there will never be no more food". And we know that Dawn is simply never going to give up, even if she did slow down to enjoy the fact that her feet were about to leave the ground forever. So just when all seems done, shouldn't another feast-worth of food arrive?

    Analytically:
    Lydia remains the Every(wo)man - the Token Mundane
    Amber, as discussed, seems to be be restricted to the role of The Feeder, at least for now...
    Etna remains the Selfish Feedee archetype - the viscious glutton, the one that I can enjoy her size but I despair at her personality, and find it an overwhelming turnoff.
    Dawn is the Joyous Feedee archetype - "Oh, this is fun, and so is this, and this..." - sure, there's the desire to beat Etna, but that's secondary.
    Holly, however, is emerging as the Liberated Feedee archetype - she spells it out: If she gets big enough, she'll be free. ... and now I'm wondering, what will be unleashed when she gets big enough to be free?

    (Holly came across as the more submissive personality earlier. But in the more recent episodes, Amber shows how she's willing to submit to Holly. Will she eventually take up the role of the Submissive Feedee? "Yes Holly. I'll eat whatever you want me to, Holly, even though I thought I was already full")
     
  5. Oct 24, 2017 #85

    Clovis

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    davnighar:

    Thank you for another insightful response. Someone should be paying you to do reviews because I would certainly read them.

    Glad to hear that the more recent chapters have worked for you. Wasn't sure if most just wanted "more of the good stuff," and less dilly-dallying.

    You say Etna is an overwhelming turnoff- is this to an extent that she is harming the enjoyment of the story, or are you simply saying that she is a successfully detestable adversary?

    Don't want to say much about what's to come, but I enjoy your speculation. Sadly, I've had less time to devote to this, but I am still working on it and comments like yours are a good kick in the pants to keep me going.

    You mentioned in an earlier post some confusion about Dawn's shape and size- has this been cleared up any better in this latest chapter?

    Also, you had asked about Lydia's previous spellcasting adventures and I posted them here along with my other works:
    http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...d.php?t=121929

    Thanks

    Than


     
  6. Oct 30, 2017 #86

    Daxon

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    Still interested, hoping fervently this story will see its finale some day.

    As far as readers get to offer their vote on where the plot shall be heading, I'm mainly interested in A) the competition itself and B) the interplay between the two sisters. The remaining cast of characters feel more like details to take in so I don't miss on some plot element, not persons I'm happy to see take their respective turn in the spotlight.

    Couldn't pinpoint any definite reason why, though. So it's just down to personal preference, which - unless one is taking a poll of the readership - is usually the most useless form of feedback.

    The only bit constructive suggestions I can muster at the moment is that Etna is not the kind of character you love to hate. Best example that comes to mind is the Emperor from Star Wars (why ever would I have thought of that...). Creepy and thoroughly evil though he was, every scene that showed him was golden.

    Etna's description and scenes have set her up to be off-putting: mission accomplished. But if this was the Wizard of Oz, I'd be crossing my fingers that a certain farmhouse would come crashing down ahead of schedule.

    Anyhow, thank you writing this story. Hope this meandering kernel of feedback contributes something, or at least doesn't annoy.
     
  7. Nov 1, 2017 #87

    Clovis

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    Daxon:

    In no way is any kind of feedback annoying. I appreciate it greatly. I can say that thanks to both you and Danvigar this week, I was able to find both the motivation and time to get some more writing done. I do intend to finish this story.

    I'm glad you enjoy the sisterly aspect of the story and that will continue to play a major part. A big motivating factor was to show character traits, relationships, and emotional depth I wasn't often finding in other similar stories. Side characters have their place, not just to flesh out the world, but it's actually a useful way of exploring more sides of your main characters in how we see others react and relate to them.

    The story will meander, but the driving focus is Dawn vs. Etna.

    I don't know that I'm even trying to make Etna someone you love to hate. I hope she's at least interesting. The main goal of giving her a some focus in the intermission was to make her more dimensional and keep the contest balanced.

    Thanks again to everyone still reading, I love hearing any comments you may have.
     
  8. Nov 3, 2017 #88

    js273

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    I personally like all the side characters as well, but would greatly appreciate more stuff about Dawn herself, especially physical descriptions.
     
  9. Nov 4, 2017 #89

    Clovis

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    js273:
    Glad to see you're still reading as you had left a very enthusiastic post earlier.

    Don't worry about getting more Dawn. Though I'd like to ask if by "physical" do you mean her body or her face? Her body is at a point where everything it does or experiences has to be described as it's gone so far beyond the norm. As for faces, I have my own mental image of what each character looks like, but I actually try and keep it a bit vague wherever the story doesn't require it. I believe doing so is a good way to keep a reader engaged- let them create their own mental picture. I'd be curious about anyone's mental casting- what actresses would you choose?

    I'm most curious about how everyone has envisioned Amber as I've (intentionally) said almost nothing about her looks other than being somewhat lanky. Her race, skin-tone, hair, eye color, etc is all up in the air, along with how that all comes together (is she pretty? plain? odd? cute? striking?)

    Thanks again. I've got more done, but the story also keeps finding ways of getting longer.
     
  10. Feb 6, 2018 #90

    Clovis

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    To anyone checking in on this I figured I should drop in with an update before you give up hope on this story.

    In short, I am working on it, but I now have far-far less time to do so. The story wasn't exactly born out of good fortune, but it helped as a silly and time-consuming distraction when I needed one. Though I can't say when it will be done, I do have every intention of finishing.

    I am sorry it's been so long, and I do really appreciate everyone who has given this tale their time. Any motivation and encouragement you can offer would be greatly appreciated. And if anyone has only recently stumbled upon this story, I'd love to know what you think so far.

    Thanks again, and stay tuned...
     
  11. Jul 22, 2018 #91

    Clovis

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    Wow, made it down to page three of this thread.
    Well, what motivated this story in the first place was hearing about the first Size-Con, and it got me focused enough to get the first chapter out at that time. I have been working on this story, but have next to no time to do so. But I found out there's another Size-Con on July 29th, 30th. So I promise to have something by then.
    Thanks to all who have supported and read thus far.
     
  12. Jul 31, 2018 #92

    Clovis

    Clovis

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    Well, here at least is something. I've lots, lots more, but it's just not ready yet. Most of my writing time is actually spent editing, with each page released cut down from around three. This new chapter is enormous, and that's continuing a trend with this story. I am curious if you prefer getting the whole chapter at once, or having it released in bite sized chunks like this. For instance, going back to the previous chapters, would it have been better to release them at every ellipses break?

    Chapter 9

    A meteor shower is a rare and wondrous phenomenon. If fortunate enough to ever come across such a spectacle, one would be hard pressed to ignore it. But as a dazzling array of flittering projectiles soared through the air above, Etna tried to do just that.

    Though sizes and shapes varied and their trajectories were haphazard at best, somehow each and every spiraling bit found itself drawn inevitably down to the fetching little planetoid below. And like that stellar body so eager to greet their arrival, these all started out small- the meekest of morsels passed over for not seeming worth the bother. But there is a reward for those who see value in the seemingly inconsequential. For as their numbers grew and grew and they amassed en masse within their new host, it was she who began to amount to something more. The process is called accretion, and stands proof positive that there is no such thing as an insignificant speck for it has given us all the great bodies of the universe- from the moons and planets, to the most massive stars and grand sprawling galaxies.

    Feeding Dawn directly had become too much of a bother, so those challenged with the task decided it would be easier to just throw whatever bite-sized items they could find her way. Seated side-by-side atop the great dining table like a pair of fans up in the bleachers, Lydia and Amber tossed an endless barrage of crispy baked tidbits from the platters filling their laps. While at first they’d taken their time- politely alternating in turn once certain each throw was caught- those gentle lobs soon became fast pitches, and eventually they were throwing out their fare as quickly as they could grab it. And yet, no matter how fast or frenzied, not a single delectable item ever made its way to the floor. Under arm, over arm, and poorly aimed foul, Dawn intercepted their unyielding barrage of tater tots, assorted nuggets, and various kinds of popper without fail.

    Known to be embarrassingly devoid of any hand-eye coordination in the past, Dawn proved surprisingly deft with her mouth. By bobbing and careening her rounded robustness about, the inflated ingenue exhibited a puppy’s natural knack for catching airborne treats. Wasting no time chewing, Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Dawn sent each down quick as she could to make room for the next. And like any excitable pup, Dawn’s little hands were set to flapping wildly- both as an expression of joy, and to beg her benefactors to keep this whirlwind of constant consumption continuing- more, more, MORE!

     
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  13. Jul 31, 2018 #93

    robotface

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    Really glad to have this story back again. It's been a favorite. And personally the longer chapters don't bother me.
     
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  14. Aug 12, 2018 #94

    Clovis

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    Thanks robotface.
    Well, that's one vote to wait for full chapters. I'll see where we're at when the next bit is done.
     
  15. Nov 8, 2018 #95

    Clovis

    Clovis

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    Curious if anyone has stumbled upon this story recently and what their take on it is.
    Anyway, I saw that I've let this slip to the second page, so here's the next bit:


    Chapter 9.2

    It was daft. That was the word, the only word Etna could come up with to describe the scene playing out before her. While it had been her every intention that the night venture into the absurd, things had progressed beyond even Etna’s most wildly unreasonable expectations.

    It was like watching a girl run open-mouthed into a hailstorm- a girl who already looked like she’d swallowed an entire meteorological event. Dawn’s dizzying ability to careen her absurd body about to waylay all flying foodstuffs was certainly impressive, but seemed like far too much work to her opponent. Looking on in disbelief, Etna consoled herself with the fact that these ingestible squalls were comprised of only the barest of trifles- little amuse-bouche- for that was all could fit in Dawn’s tiny mouth. Mere drops in a bucket compared to the far more substantial main courses Etna now exclusively dined upon. But those droplets were beginning to add up. Even with her state of constant motion, Etna could tell Dawn’s bucket was not only getting bigger, but saw little indication that this daft monsoon of mastication would be letting up anytime soon.

    For a woman unaccustomed to qualms, Dawn gave Etna plenty. That sense of unease grew and grew right along with Dawn until it festered to a point where Etna could watch no more. Turning away from the frivolity, Etna thought it best to put her attention back where it belonged- on herself and her own feeding. That renewed focus however, had the unfortunate effect of making clear other, even more unsettling things.

    “Ermph!” Etna let out a choked complaint as she was overcome by an odd sensation. It was as if she’d suddenly been teleported to another world- a far less hospitable one with precious little oxygen and far greater gravity.

    What was happening? Feeling as though a great suffocating weight was being set upon her, Etna looked desperately about for a culprit. Dawn was the only thing in the room so heavy and while her little hands were free, she was otherwise fully occupied as were her cohorts. Etna was thankful none of them noticed her fretful state which continued to rise as mysterious forces mounted further against her and she felt herself being buried beneath what could only be a ton of bricks.

    That’s when it hit her…

    A ton.

    Surely now, a ton.

    She’d done it.

    “Hurgh,” Etna creaked. She’d done quite a bit more in fact. But this didn’t feel like victory. What Etna had accomplished that night was astounding, but in doing so, she’d imposed upon herself a burden the likes of which no human had ever experienced- and she was experiencing every bit of it now.

    For as ballyhooed as it was, the contest between Etna and Dawn was simply a battle of ego against ambition. Concurrent to that belt-busting spectacle, another more grueling and intense war was being waged and that was between Etna and her own body. It was a fight Etna feared she was now losing on both fronts.

    That ton-and-then-some was wearing down on Etna like a chain of anchors lashed around her fat neck. The sheer weight of herself had Etna buckling and gasping.

    It was too much.

    She was too much.

    Etna tried to summon back the unflinching determination and unwavering faith that always served her so well, but looking within she found nothing but pressure- a painful, unbearable strain upon her bulging frame that continued to build and compound, making Etna aware of every newly packed-on pound with an acute and frightful clarity. Resorting instead to that deep well of anger and rage she’d always held, Etna found that too had been pushed out. “Ooogh!” Etna winced- her vast innards had become a maelstrom, a nauseatic swirl that bubbled and churned like a cauldron about to boil over. Struggling to hold it all back, her over-taxed skin creaked like a dam about to give way.

    No more.

    Not another bite.

    Surely this was it, her absolute limit. Without even knowing what she’d currently been chewing away at, Etna stopped herself from swallowing and halted her hands before they could deliver any further loads to join it.

    Why the sudden change? Her situation had long been precarious, but Etna couldn’t understand how it had increased to such an extent without her noticing. How could she have let herself get to so dire a point, and more importantly, how could she possibly keep going?

    These questions left Etna stalled and stricken, but somehow all those amassing woes were at once allayed when her eye caught sight of a particular shooting star passing high overhead.

     
  16. Nov 22, 2018 #96

    Clovis

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    Gobble, gobble. Happy Thanksgiving. Here's another small serving:


    Chapter 9.3

    Despite the pain, the pressure, and all the ill portends, one and only one thought filled Etna’s head at that moment- and it wasn’t even about her:

    She can’t possibly…

    To describe Lydia’s level of athletic ability as middling would have been beyond generous. While such lack of talent in that regard befit her gothic exterior, Lydia did her damndest to aim for her sister’s mouth regardless. Whenever Holly thought Etna wasn’t looking (in-between bites of her own) she joined in the fun utilizing her far superior varsity arm to hurl hushpuppies from the far end of the room with remarkable precision. As for Amber… it may have been a bad throw from a tired arm or a purposefully bad pitch meant to test her roommate’s prowess, but what proved enough to pull Etna from her dilemma was the sight of that limp-wristed hippy lobbing a tater-tot so high and far overhead that it nearly grazed the lofty ceiling.

    There’s just no way…

    Calculating the arc as Amber’s shooting star became a falling one, Etna figured its landing to be well out of range for fat little Dawn to ever catch. As with so many things that night, Dawn refused to abide to the limits of even math or physics, and made no such assumptions.

    Before Amber’s misfire could be dealt with, Dawn had a more urgent pair of incoming snacks to snatch up first. Holly’s came in hard and fast and went down easy. Lydia’s required a quick pitch and yaw, but was gobbled up regardless. With a blurry expedience, Dawn then executed two full sideward rolls from which the many surrounding serving carts offered no impediment whatsoever- their mettle no match for Dawn’s as they were walloped away with ease. Once in alignment with her target, Dawn swiftly got her roundness back upright, then just as swiftly fell fully backward- her little feet thrust into the air perpendicular to her hands as…

    Gulp!

    Wasting no time, Dawn immediately chased after the next tasty target. And the next.

    It certainly was a lot of work for a single bite, but Etna now found herself grateful to witness such historic effort. Size and skill simply weren’t meant to go so well together. It was both expected and appropriate that Etna’s immense mass would afford her all the grace and agility of an anvil. But despite demonstrations of her own considerable load, Dawn flittered and skittered her bobble-shaped body about like an ornament fallen off a Christmas tree. To see such a cumbersome form so artfully maneuver itself made Etna’s heart leap. Lost in the moment, she wanted to clap, but caught herself just short of doing so. Not that Dawn needed Etna’s applause, the whole house was set to clattering over her weighty achievements.

    During that reflective pause Etna realized it was pride and only her pride that kept her from clapping just then. The importance of that distinction became clear as she gazed down in surprise.

    Her hands were free.

     
  17. Nov 23, 2018 #97

    js273

    js273

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    Awesome! So glad that this story is back!
     
  18. Nov 23, 2018 #98

    Clovis

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    Thanks! Glad you're still excited to read it.
     
  19. Jan 2, 2019 #99

    Clovis

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    Chapter 9.4

    Unbeknownst to even herself was the fact that while her mind was so fully engrossed with Dawn’s sideshow performance, Etna’s body had taken it upon itself to resume the more important work. The mouthful Etna was withholding was swallowed down right along with her two heaping handfuls. Already, one of those freshly freed hands was off hunting for more- Etna found it burrowing into her cleavage to retrieve a smoked shoulder that had tumbled down there.

    How?

    Etna couldn’t understand how all that got eaten without any fuss or muss. Though, on further inspection… “Oh-oh-OWWW!” It clearly hadn’t. Etna gasped as her every nerve sent up sirens of pain. Those added bites had come at a cost. They may have gone down quietly, but Etna’s many strains were now amplified in accordance to that new intake.

    “HOW!”

    Again the query came, but this time as a shout from Lydia who was holding up two large and empty platters.

    “SIS! I made the mistake of once serving you plain yellow mustard only to watch it reduce you to a sweating, gagging mess crying for a hospital because you found it so intolerably spicy. So how is it you just polished off TWO HUNDRED jalapeño poppers without the slightest complaint?”

    Not waiting for an answer, Lydia went off in search of new ammunition. For her, the question was clearly rhetorical and besides, Amber wasn’t granting Dawn’s busy mouth so much as a second to retort.

    “Oh, we’re well aware of your sister’s delicate palette,” Amber laughed as she pelted Dawn from her seemingly endless supply of tater-tots. “And it’s not like you didn’t give me ample warning in-between mild threats about treating her nice and the endless sob-fest over leaving her that first day. I assumed you were just being over-protective. Still, for our first movie night I made up a batch of the very weakest of weak-sauce salsas. Dawn didn’t even get one chip in before she was writhing on the floor, gasping and turning red. I was in a panic, not sure whether to call you or 9-11, but Holly scooped up the little twitching ragamuffin and ran her down the hall shouting for help. Someone thought to give her milk, which ended up being a whole other kind of bad idea. That’s when we learned Dawn was also severely lactose intolerant and I had to spend the night at Holly’s.” (This last part was said rather wistfully, and clearly wasn’t the inconvenience Amber made it out to be.)

    “I didn’t think keeping her away from dairy would be a problem for a vegan,” Lydia replied wryly. “Still, I’m pretty sure I covered that as well.”

    “Maybe,” Amber chuckled, “it was probably somewhere in that giant binder you gave me. Seriously, what roommate comes with an instruction book?”

    “The best one,” Lydia said proudly.

    “Yeah,” Amber admitted sheepishly. “Though as thorough as you were, you somehow left out any hint her being capable of tonight's various monkeyshines,” she said grabbing a fistful of tots and throwing the whole lot Dawn’s way- none of which went missed by her swelling roomie.

    “This… this is new,” Lydia admitted with a shrug. “And sorry about the lactose thing. Our apartment wasn’t much bigger than your dorm room- you have my sympathies. But look at her now, our little Dawn’s become tolerant of so many things.” To prove the point, Lydia plucked up a golf-ball sized wad of wasabi and hurled it Dawn’s way. Her once sensitive sister wolfed it down without flinching.

    Etna was surprised to learn the girl had been plagued by more physical failings than she could have ever guessed. Where such deficiencies filled Etna only with disgust, she assumed the others took pity on Dawn as one might some sick little stray. What baffled her however, was how Dawn allowed them to banter on at her expense when at her age, Etna barely tolerated praise let alone mockery.

    Etna supposed Dawn wouldn’t begrudge them making light of her so long as they continued to make her heavy. But Etna was a firm believer in the hierarchy of scale, and thought by now Dawn should have known that she no longer needed to begrudge anyone anything (excepting of course Etna who remained her size-superior.) A tight, fit little body may be admired, but true deference went only to the exceedingly large. As mammals, it seemed something hard wired in us from back in our days spent scurrying beneath the feet of Earth’s prehistoric titans.

    However long her list of afflictions had been, Dawn was now full of vim, vigor, and pretty much everything else. With the room constantly set to shaking, it was clear Dawn knew how to throw her weight around, but the idea of exploiting her new size for intimidation remained a foreign concept. Etna was certain that as she grew, Dawn would come around to her way of thinking- though she wasn’t sure she wanted to be around when Dawn realized her full potential. Then again, perhaps, despite all her growing, Dawn still saw herself as some pathetic runt for nothing else really made sense to Etna.

    Etna watched an emboldened Lydia lay out a flight of assorted hot-sauces ranging from tabasco to ghost pepper between herself and Amber so they could kick things up a notch and see if there really wasn’t anything Dawn couldn’t handle. Amber called out her count as she still worked her way though an absolute mountain of tater-tots. Her now fiery comets were reaching truly astronomical numbers “1,279, 1,280, 1,281!”

    “Come on Dawn,” Lydia shouted as she prepared a round of atomically spicy empanadas, “I’ve seen you lose bladder control just from smelling a buffalo wing- at least give us a gag for old time’s sake.”

    What had Etna confounded more than anything else was how these ongoing japes came across as far more affectionate than any load of lauding she’d ever received. It was an observation that sat worse in her gut than any kind of indigestion.


     
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  20. Jun 9, 2019 #100

    wrenchboy

    wrenchboy

    wrenchboy

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    Great story! It has been more than 5 months since the last post. Is there more? And although a delightful read all stories must come to an end. Is that end coming sooner or later?
     

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