Legend of the Christmas Potato.
The origins of the Christmas Potato can be traced to a potato farmer in Rupert Idaho named Jebediah Finkelmadder back in the late 1850s. One evening while Jebediah was sorting though his harvest, he discovered a potato which had a very distinguishable image of Christ on it. (BTW... that's where it's believed the expression "Kryste on a russet" originated...) Word of this potato spread throughout Minidoka County, people from across the desert came to see his "Christ Potato". One day the local Ward bishop came to witness this wonder. It was then suggested that Jebediah take his potato to Salt Lake City and present it to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for their review, which he did. Upon presenting it to the Apostles, he was immediately ex-communicated from the Mormon Church as a crackpot and heretic, along with another man Brantly Boyson Clemouth, an experimental taxidermist who advocated that Utah join the Union. The two men were devastated by their ex-communication. Brantly was for all practical banished from Utah, and Jebediah faced a future of shame and rejection back in his home town of Rupert.
While sitting in the middle of Temple Square mulling their plight, Jebediah and Brantly decided to head for Soda Springs Idaho where Brantly had a female friend whom he was courting at the time named Jade Blakely. As a final act of defiance, they left their "Morman Garments" on the steps of the Tabernacle, and vowed to never return to Utah. The three of them settled down, Jebediah eventually married two of Jade's 8 sisters Agnes and Esther. Jebediah, Agnes and Esther once again began potato farming but found the alkaline laden soil around Soda Springs made for marginal farming at best. Many of their potatoes were shriveled and not particularly appetizing. The best of these potatoes were contorted, and again appeared to be in the shape of faces. Jebediah realized the novelty of these potatoes when a local merchant took interest in purchasing some " Ulysses S. Grant" potatoes. Before long, Jebediah was selling his potatoes region wide, and again The Church began taking notice of him and his potatos. There was an "Abe Lincoln potato", a "Benedict Arnold potato", one of the potatoes even looked like a local Shoshoni Indian chief, the "Chief Pocatello potato". There was also a "Sacagawea potato" and a pair called the "Lewis and Clark potatoes". His potatoes were particularly popular garnishes during Christmas, and the name "Christmas Potato" was revived. One little known historical fact... The engineers of the "Jupiter" locomotive which was present during the driving of the Golden Spike in Brigham City Utah, where the transcontinental railroad was completed, actually ate one of Jebediah's potatoes, the "Joseph Smith potato" right before the spike driving ceremony. The potato was cooked atop The Jupiter Locomotive's coal oven. "Meanwhile Brantly was making a living as a taxidermist and still creating his unnatural assemblages of animal parts. One particularly harsh summer during a sand storm, Brantly's wife Jade passed away. Brantly, utterly devastated by the loss of his beloved wife, wrapped himself up in one of his sheep-elk skin jackets topped off by a possum-jack rabbit hat, headed out towards Wyoming and was never seen again. Meanwhile, The Church began closing in on Jebediah and his renowned potatoes. One night Jebediah loaded up his two wives, fourteen children and potatoes into a wagon and headed off towards New Mexico where he believed he and his family would be beyond the reach of the Mormon church. During the hasty retreat his family embarked upon, one of Jebediah's sons found a strange looking, stuffed rabbit with horns on it left in a corner of Brantly's dusty, abandoned taxidermy shop and tossed it into the trunk of potatoes. Upon reaching their destination of Tucumcari, NM, Jebediah discovered that all of his potatoes had become rancid but atop the grotesque pile of mushy spuds and mold, he discovered this rabbit with antelope horns atop it's head. Thus, the Jackalope was born and the Christmas Potato faded into history along with the
Great Pumpkin, and
Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey.
BTW... This story was sponsored by Rum and Monkey, creators of the
Mormon Name Generator, and was brought to you by generous donations from the Sun Valley Yacht Club. Also, special thanks to the "other" support provided by the Midway Mamas of Bingham County, Atomic City ID and the loaner trampolines and green jello they were able to acquire.
