The History of Christmas Potatos & Holiday Avatars!

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stan_der_man

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* I dedicate this thread to our very own Buffie and Risible, to whom you may credit my inspiration *

Legend of the Christmas Potato.


The origins of the Christmas Potato can be traced to a potato farmer in Rupert Idaho named Jebediah Finkelmadder back in the late 1850s. One evening while Jebediah was sorting though his harvest, he discovered a potato which had a very distinguishable image of Christ on it. (BTW... that's where it's believed the expression "Kryste on a russet" originated...) Word of this potato spread throughout Minidoka County, people from across the desert came to see his "Christ Potato". One day the local Ward bishop came to witness this wonder. It was then suggested that Jebediah take his potato to Salt Lake City and present it to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for their review, which he did. Upon presenting it to the Apostles, he was immediately ex-communicated from the Mormon Church as a crackpot and heretic, along with another man Brantly Boyson Clemouth, an experimental taxidermist who advocated that Utah join the Union. The two men were devastated by their ex-communication. Brantly was for all practical banished from Utah, and Jebediah faced a future of shame and rejection back in his home town of Rupert.

While sitting in the middle of Temple Square mulling their plight, Jebediah and Brantly decided to head for Soda Springs Idaho where Brantly had a female friend whom he was courting at the time named Jade Blakely. As a final act of defiance, they left their "Morman Garments" on the steps of the Tabernacle, and vowed to never return to Utah. The three of them settled down, Jebediah eventually married two of Jade's 8 sisters Agnes and Esther. Jebediah, Agnes and Esther once again began potato farming but found the alkaline laden soil around Soda Springs made for marginal farming at best. Many of their potatoes were shriveled and not particularly appetizing. The best of these potatoes were contorted, and again appeared to be in the shape of faces. Jebediah realized the novelty of these potatoes when a local merchant took interest in purchasing some " Ulysses S. Grant" potatoes. Before long, Jebediah was selling his potatoes region wide, and again The Church began taking notice of him and his potatos. There was an "Abe Lincoln potato", a "Benedict Arnold potato", one of the potatoes even looked like a local Shoshoni Indian chief, the "Chief Pocatello potato". There was also a "Sacagawea potato" and a pair called the "Lewis and Clark potatoes". His potatoes were particularly popular garnishes during Christmas, and the name "Christmas Potato" was revived. One little known historical fact... The engineers of the "Jupiter" locomotive which was present during the driving of the Golden Spike in Brigham City Utah, where the transcontinental railroad was completed, actually ate one of Jebediah's potatoes, the "Joseph Smith potato" right before the spike driving ceremony. The potato was cooked atop The Jupiter Locomotive's coal oven. "Meanwhile Brantly was making a living as a taxidermist and still creating his unnatural assemblages of animal parts. One particularly harsh summer during a sand storm, Brantly's wife Jade passed away. Brantly, utterly devastated by the loss of his beloved wife, wrapped himself up in one of his sheep-elk skin jackets topped off by a possum-jack rabbit hat, headed out towards Wyoming and was never seen again. Meanwhile, The Church began closing in on Jebediah and his renowned potatoes. One night Jebediah loaded up his two wives, fourteen children and potatoes into a wagon and headed off towards New Mexico where he believed he and his family would be beyond the reach of the Mormon church. During the hasty retreat his family embarked upon, one of Jebediah's sons found a strange looking, stuffed rabbit with horns on it left in a corner of Brantly's dusty, abandoned taxidermy shop and tossed it into the trunk of potatoes. Upon reaching their destination of Tucumcari, NM, Jebediah discovered that all of his potatoes had become rancid but atop the grotesque pile of mushy spuds and mold, he discovered this rabbit with antelope horns atop it's head. Thus, the Jackalope was born and the Christmas Potato faded into history along with the Great Pumpkin, and Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey.


BTW... This story was sponsored by Rum and Monkey, creators of the Mormon Name Generator, and was brought to you by generous donations from the Sun Valley Yacht Club. Also, special thanks to the "other" support provided by the Midway Mamas of Bingham County, Atomic City ID and the loaner trampolines and green jello they were able to acquire.
For those of who wish to participate in a modern day tribute of the Christmas Potato, simply email me a picture of your face and I will create a customized simulation of the famous Christmas Potato.


Send inquiries to:

es see aech arr oh eee dee eee underscore es at yahoo dot com


Or to my Dims email and I'll email you back... more details to follow.


Basically the end product will look like this:

haggis_golf.gif
haggish_s_face.gif


(BTW... The one on the left is the "Golf Christmas Potato", a limited edition for the folks living near golf courses... proof of residency and club membership required...)


Absolutely no refunds.
 

Risible

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My submission is on its way ... er, do you do Chinese (an Imperial China motif would be good) Christmas potatoes?
 

Risible

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Where are my manners?

Nice story, Stan! :bow: Worth the wait!
 

olwen

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Stan, that's awesome. I don't know why, but the idea of mormon mafia (since they were on the run) made me giggle. All hail the xmas tater.
 

stan_der_man

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My submission is on its way ... er, do you do Chinese (an Imperial China motif would be good) Christmas potatoes?

Oh yeah... An Imperial Chinese motif background is entirely possible... This thread is kinda like Disneyland... everything is possible but nothing is real...

Where are my manners?

Nice story, Stan! :bow: Worth the wait!

You are way too kind Ris... no seriously... way too kind... and I'm glad you found your manners... they are always a good thing to have around.

Stan, that's awesome. I don't know why, but the idea of mormon mafia (since they were on the run) made me giggle. All hail the xmas tater.

Thanks for the kudos Olwen... no really... also waaaayyyy too kind of you.! I appreciate it! :) Really if you think about it, there isn't much difference between the Mafia and the Inquisition other than m.o., they both collect money and scare the beejeebers out of people... same basic end result. Also one thing I've noticed... if you think sheep herders who live on lonely windswept islands are weird... ya ain't seen nothing until you mix sand and religion.
 

olwen

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Speaking of sheep, there was actually an art exhibit in my building at work that featured a video installation about some documentary about sheep herding. One video was just a loop of sheep crossing a wide stream and I found it to be very relaxing. All I wanted to do was listen to the running water and the baaas and count sheep!
 

Buffie

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I'm speechless. You've really outdone yourself Stan. That's amazing. Bravo.


:D
 

stan_der_man

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I'm speechless. You've really outdone yourself Stan. That's amazing. Bravo.


:D

My talent is kinda like a septic tank... I'm always amazed at how much there is, but sometimes the smell is overwhelming... ;)

BTW I ran your name through the Mormon name generator...

Buffie Buffinator = "Burtine Barina"

Seriously, if you want an avatar... just say so, I have a couple of requests at the moment I'll post them very soon.

Speaking of sheep, there was actually an art exhibit in my building at work that featured a video installation about some documentary about sheep herding. One video was just a loop of sheep crossing a wide stream and I found it to be very relaxing. All I wanted to do was listen to the running water and the baaas and count sheep!


I also ran your name Olwen... The name generator came up with "Arla Gwen"... I'll gladly make you an avatar also! :)


I'll be back in a few with the first avatars...
 

daddyoh70

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Excellent story Stan. I'm still revelling in the glory of my current avatar though, so no potatoe/potahtoe for me. Just wanted to let you know I thoroughly enjoyed the story, and that using my real name, my Mormon name is Benteen Daquan :) and my Mormon screen name is Zaddock.
 

stan_der_man

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Excellent story Stan. I'm still revelling in the glory of my current avatar though, so no potatoe/potahtoe for me. Just wanted to let you know I thoroughly enjoyed the story, and that using my real name, my Mormon name is Benteen Daquan :) and my Mormon screen name is Zaddock.

Thank you for the kudos DaddyOh! Always a pleasure running your mug through Photoshop... :bow: Just in case... here are a couple of Christmas Potatoes for you Zaddock... (I like that name...)


CP_DaddyOh-1.gif


CP_DaddyOh.jpg



P.S. I also ran my name... Real name = Dantley Chevrollette

Screen name (without underscores) = Danstan
 

Risible

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OMGosh! So cute! Thanks, Stan!

Daddyoh, you should reconsider the avie - yer one mean-looking tater, have to say. :p

Bubbles' generated name is: Bevalier Admanzah. I'm pretty sure I read that in the Old Testament, and it was the name of a demon. :mad:
 

daddyoh70

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Thank you for the kudos DaddyOh! Always a pleasure running your mug through Photoshop... :bow: Just in case... here are a couple of Christmas Potatoes for you Zaddock... (I like that name...)


**images snipped**


P.S. I also ran my name... Real name = Dantley Chevrollette

Screen name (without underscores) = Danstan

Thanks Stan. I'm kinda fond of the Zaddock name too. I'll have to see what Google brings back on it. Love the avatar, seems as though the Haggis/Chia war has petered out, with no real winners to speak of, so perhaps I'll use the tater.
Oh, like the new haircut too, very sharp.

OMGosh! So cute! Thanks, Stan!

Daddyoh, you should reconsider the avie - yer one mean-looking tater, have to say. :p
Thanks Ris. You really got me considering the new avie. I feel that my face completely radiates my Holiday spirit. :p I just need a catchy "tater" name to go with it. I'll get to work on it ASAP.
 

Ho Ho Tai

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* I dedicate this thread to our very own Buffie and Risible, to whom you may credit my inspiration *

For those of who wish to participate in a modern day tribute of the Christmas Potato, simply email me a picture of your face and I will create a customized simulation of the famous Christmas Potato.

Stan -

Reading this leads me to believe that you have already found the secret of making vodka out of those misshapen spuds. If not, this link contains all that you would want to know. If you can make spud gasohol, you can challenge BDMan to a biodiesel vs. gasohol drag.

Hmm! Wonder how Ho Tai's smirk would look surrounded by a potato?
 

biodieselman

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... If you can make spud gasohol, you can challenge BDMan to a biodiesel vs. gasohol drag....

I love a race!

But it requires more energy for the home brewer to ferment potatoes into alcohol than they yield & there's not enough vegetable oil in potatoes for biodiesel. Since Stan wants an electric car, how about "The Great Electric Couch Potato Challenge" instead?;)

I already have all the parts laying around the house to build an electric potato hybrid/chair.

potatocar.jpg

I'm already on it! Let's see...I'll need 48v for two 24v power drill motors, 0.5v per potato, I'm off to get 96 potatoes to wire in series!

potatocar1.jpg

burnout.gif
"It's a race! I'm winning!"
onetooth.gif


potatocar3.jpg




* I dedicate this thread to our very own Buffie and Risible, to whom you may credit my inspiration *...

... Hmm! Wonder how Ho Tai's smirk would look surrounded by a potato?

Well my "smirk"
pant.gif
, if that's what you want to call it Ho Ho,;) is "inspired" by Ris in a bikini.
drool.gif


potatocar2.jpg
 

LalaCity

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Stan -- I'm trying to figure out what makes my Mormon name so Mormon...I don't know why it is, but it just feels like it...:Clarisca Perpegillion.

Oh -- and I'd be happy to be potato-ized, if you still have my pic on file. :)
 

Ho Ho Tai

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I love a race!

Well my "smirk"
pant.gif
, if that's what you want to call it Ho Ho,;) is "inspired" by Ris in a bikini.
drool.gif


potatocar2.jpg

Wow! That just about turned me into a creamed potato! But I told Mrs Ho Ho a long time ago, "I may be small potatoes, but I only have eyes for you."
 

Louis KC

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Stan -- I'm trying to figure out what makes my Mormon name so Mormon...I don't know why it is, but it just feels like it...:Clarisca Perpegillion.

Oh -- and I'd be happy to be potato-ized, if you still have my pic on file. :)


potato-ized? YUCK!
 

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