Mixed Signals?

*deep breath* Here goes: I've had fantasies of being big ever since I was a child. I remember my mother telling me "Hush yourself, that's rude" when a nurse walked by in a doctor's office and I said "man, oh man, is she a fatty!" and trying to explain I meant it as a compliment. I've always been slim (it's been hard at times) but I've also always loved/been envious of larger women, and I never dared to try putting on weight. I've been lurking here on and off for many years (I'm so glad this exists; I'm not alone!)

I feel like I can't gain a significant amount of weight b/c my husband's a rock musician and I'm his obligatory arm candy, but I've been unemployed for three months, and recently suffered an injury, so I haven't been exercising, and I've been staying at home a lot, job searching, eating and drinking. I think I've put on about five pounds in the last month. He always tells me I look beautiful when he comes home, and either brings home dinner, takes me out to eat and says get whatever I want, or fixes elaborate meals with lots of sauces and butter. He berates his ex-wife for being fat, but when I tell him I'm uncomfortable with the weight I've gained (all in my hips/belly, sadly not my boobs), he hushes me and says I've still got a hot bod…can anybody help me out with what he's thinking? I'd like to gain more, but I don't want him telling his next g/f he left me b/c I got fat. :-(